Re: When do the terrible twos end?

May 8, 2001

She does this regularly, I don't

> think I am giving in to her and she does not seem to achieve

anything

> (apart from a very red face). Am I doing anything wrong or is

there

> anything else I should do? HELP!

You are doing it right - basically ignoring bad behaviour and

rewarding good behaviour with positive attention.

Joe can still be tantrummy (and he was hellish at 2-3) but is

slightly more human now at 4.5, I am now going through the

'Why?' 'what?' etc questioning all the time....beginning to think I

preferred the tantrums!

Caroline

May 8, 2001

She does this regularly, I don't

> think I am giving in to her and she does not seem to achieve

anything

> (apart from a very red face). Am I doing anything wrong or is

there

> anything else I should do? HELP!

You are doing it right - basically ignoring bad behaviour and

rewarding good behaviour with positive attention.

Joe can still be tantrummy (and he was hellish at 2-3) but is

slightly more human now at 4.5, I am now going through the

'Why?' 'what?' etc questioning all the time....beginning to think I

preferred the tantrums!

Caroline

May 9, 2001

Oh, Francesca, my heart goes out to you! My DD1 was the worst terrible two

I've ever met, to the extent that I ended up asking the health visitor to

refer us to a psychologist as I was sure something wasn't right! Of course,

she's turned into a wellish adjusted, bright girl - though is now pre-teen

and descending back into terrible twoishness. I think she grew out of it

gradually over her third year from memory. By the time she was 4 she was

lovely!

Does your DD sleep well enough? With Mima that was the root of the

problem - she was waking up 4 times a night till she was nearly 4 and we

were both exhausted! Another thought - perhaps once she's in her room you

could try letting her get herself out when she's ready, rather than asking

her if she's going to behave? That way you wouldn't be giving her any

attention at all, which might help.

In any event, be reassured that it's perfectly normal for otherwise lovely

children to be obnoxious toddlers - it's nothing you're doing wrong and

possibly even a sign of intelligence that she's frustrated by her inability

to reach ambitious goals that she's setting herself.

Vicki

When do the terrible twos end?

> My DD1 is three next week and after a period when she seemed to be

> getting over the stroppy tantrummy stage she is now worse than ever.

> We went to Sainsbugs this afternoon and she fell asleep for 5 mins on

> the way home but threw an almighty tantrum when I refused to carry her

> in from the car (I had eight bags of shopping and one 20lb baby to

> carry in and a six stone arthritic collie to lift out of the boot as

> well and she was sitting in the middle of the back seat and not making

> any effort to get out herself). This major strop went on for about 40

> minutes, screaming, shouting, foot stamping. I ignored her for a

> while but then DD2 (just one year old) started to get upset so I told

> DD1 I would put her in her bedroom if she did not stop. She did not

> so then spent 20 minutes stropping in her room, with me asking at

> intervals if she was going to behave herself nicely and only letting

> her out when she said she would. She does this regularly, I don't

> think I am giving in to her and she does not seem to achieve anything

> (apart from a very red face). Am I doing anything wrong or is there

> anything else I should do? HELP!

>

> TIA

>

> Francesca

>

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May 9, 2001

She does this regularly, I don't

> > think I am giving in to her and she does not seem to achieve anything

> > (apart from a very red face). Am I doing anything wrong or is there

> > anything else I should do? HELP!

> >

> > TIA

> >

> > Francesca

Bethany has always been able to strop for England. She's extremely stubborn

(just like me) so I quickly learnt to pick my battles very carefully. I

always ask or request nicely that she does something,(rather than ordering

her to do it - no backtracking possible then!) then if she refuses and it's

not worth fighting over I'll just let it go and do it myself.

Usually if I ask nicely and say please, she'll do what's asked to please me.

It just makes life much more pleasant for everyone. Sometimes I'll say that

I won't do something for her, if she won't do something for me etc and

occasionally, we still butt heads if I don't see it coming, or it's an

important issue. I try to treat her like I'd like to be treated myself.

(that's what I try to do anyway- doesn't always work when four little people

are demanding my attention all at once!)

Hannah, 27

Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5, Verity 2 1/2 and Alfie, born 13/02/01

Visit me on the web at :-

http://hannahshome.20m.com

May 9, 2001