Dr. Jokes

[Guest guest]

Crack me up why don’t cha

Cheryl

in CA

From: Gulledge,

Sent: Friday, April 16, 2004 11:49

AM

To: LUPIES

Subject: Dr. Jokes

- A man comes into the ER and yells, " My wife's going to have her

baby

in the

cab! " I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the

lady's

dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed

that there

were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. " --Dr. Mark

Mac, San , TX

- At the

beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and

slightly

deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. Big breaths, " I

instructed.

Yes, they used to be, " remorsefully replied the patient.

--Dr.

Byrnes, Seattle, WA

- One day I

had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her

husband had

died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five

minutes

later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he

had died of

a " massive internal fart. " --Dr. Steinberg, Manitoba,

Canada

- I was

performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity

test. I

placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, " Cover

your right

eye with your hand. " He read the 20/20 line perfectly. Now

your

left. " Again, a flawless read. Now both, " I requested. There was

silence. He

couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and

discovered

that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing

there with

both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the

exam. --Dr.

Theodropolous, Worcester,

MA

- During a

patient's two week follow-up appointment with his

cardiologist,

he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble

with one of

his medications. Which one? " I asked. The patch. The nurse

told me to

put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of

places to

put it! " I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped

I wouldn't see.

Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the

instructions

include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

--Dr.

St. Clair, Norfolk,

VA

- I was

caring for a woman from Kentucky

and asked, So, how's your

breakfast

this morning? " It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly.

I can't seem

to get used to the taste, " the patient replied. I then

asked to see

the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled " KY

Jelly. "

--Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit,

MI

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