Guest guest Posted May 14, 2004 Report Share Posted May 14, 2004 Sue, You so speak my mind when you say that you are two people. I have always been an extremely caring and outgoing person. I have always been close with my family and friends. Now I hesitate to answer the phone. I don't want to pretend like everything is okay but I don't want to worry people either. It is a difficult balance. It makes it even harder because I am getting married at the end of June...this is a time where I should be enjoying my family and planning our new life together...but instead I push everyone away and mourn my once " healthy " lifestyle. I also understand your conflicting emotions about God. It is hard to feel His love when I feel really angry about what is happening. It is hard to show His love when I am feeling sad and want to be isolated. It is hard to trust His love when I am constantly waiting for the doctor to call and tell me the results of a test. In the end, it is not important what other people think of you (oh, so easy to say) but what God is doing inside of you. ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2004 Report Share Posted May 14, 2004 Sue, You so speak my mind when you say that you are two people. I have always been an extremely caring and outgoing person. I have always been close with my family and friends. Now I hesitate to answer the phone. I don't want to pretend like everything is okay but I don't want to worry people either. It is a difficult balance. It makes it even harder because I am getting married at the end of June...this is a time where I should be enjoying my family and planning our new life together...but instead I push everyone away and mourn my once " healthy " lifestyle. I also understand your conflicting emotions about God. It is hard to feel His love when I feel really angry about what is happening. It is hard to show His love when I am feeling sad and want to be isolated. It is hard to trust His love when I am constantly waiting for the doctor to call and tell me the results of a test. In the end, it is not important what other people think of you (oh, so easy to say) but what God is doing inside of you. ~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2004 Report Share Posted May 14, 2004 Yeah Sue! My goodness...it certainly sounds as if we may be sisters *grin*. I have always been the caretaker and the mom...it is awkward to let others become my caretaker. My fiance, Andy, is such a trooper. We have been together for six years, since we were sixteen, and we have an awesome relationship. Where it gets complicated is that his mother died from colon cancer during our Junior summer in High school and he is having a difficult time having another significant woman in his life with a chronic illness. I have been so proud of him though...he talks openly about how he feels about my illness. I am so excited to get married to him. I know what you mean though about being scared that he will leave you. I am more scared that he will become unhappy and won't want to talk to me about it. I don't ever want to become a burden to him...we are both scared of that but as long as we are being honest, I can handle it. I am so excited to find a kindred spirit. You also have a wonderful life ahead of you Sue and it sounds like you have good support even though this is a difficult time. You have put the biggest smile on my face today through your kind words and shared thoughts. You rock!!! Super encouragement, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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