Re: bad night last night..

[Guest guest]

Well, guys we had a pretty tough night here last night. Our oldest son Justen has been bringing home an attitude from school lately. Everyone kept telling us not to worry that it was a typical teen attitude. Justen has a severe learning disability as well as having been dx'd with psychosis before he came to live with us. After a year in our home he was able to go off of his meds and has done extremely well. Then he turned 15 and it's like he lost his mind. Anyway, lately he has been bringing home artwork from his school that is devils. He keeps making them out of various materials. I told him that we don't believe in that and asked if he had some friends that were maybe into this stuff as he learned about things that he never saw in our home. Anyway he just kept yelling at me that it wasn't his friends and I told him that he couldn't bring that stuff in our home. He stomped into our living room, I thought to cool off. About half an hour later we realized that he had run away. I called the police while my dad drove up and down the streets for two hours. As it was getting dark I was scared out of my mind because of his learning disabilities he doesn't know our phone number or address. As the police woman was driving up, his school called. It was seven thirty and they said that they had had him the whole time! I asked why the you know what they hadn't called and let us know he was safe and they said that they were more worried about him because he was threatening to kill himself as well as my husband. Anyway, when it was all said and done, he is now at the children's psych hospital and they are saying that he is delusional and psychotic among other things. Now he has to go back on the meds and he is having a hard time. I am at a loss for what to do. He can't come back here with so many little ones until he is well managed and the DR today told me that he may need to go to a residential home for a while. I don't understand how this kid went from my loving wonderful kind son one month and then the next, he is suspended from school three times, detentions, fired from his job, disrespectful at home among other things. I don't know what part of this is normal teen stuff and what is not so we are having to trust the DR's and that is not a good feeling. Anyway, I don't know what to do with him. We would never disrupt his adoption, yet we can't jeopardize the other kids. Anyway, advice is welcome on this one!

a C

[Guest guest]

Thanks Ruth, I am hanging on to the part where they said they are optimistic. At least they didn't say that they can't help him. We also told them to stop asking if we will disrupt his adoption if things don't get better quickly. Would they give up their birth kids if they ended up having issues? If we bailed on him he would have no one and I happen to love him just as much as if I HAD given birth to him. Anyway, I thought for sure I would be in the ER by now, this has all been so emotional and I could feel my blood pressure go up high cause of the head ache. Anyway, we are here for him weather he wants us or not.

Just let know that you do love him very much regardless of what is going on.

Ruth in CA

[Guest guest]

Thanks Mojo, I got a call from his DR today and he refused his medication last night so they had to restrain him and do an injection. Knowing Justen he wont want that to happen again, he hates shots. At 4 :40 today, I was walking through the living room and glanced at the clock and before I thought about it, I said "Justen should be home soon!" It is little things like that and seeing his empty spot at the table during dinner. He also has always been the one to want to pray before meals and now the other kids are trying to take turns but they liked it when he did that and they did favorite things. That's when one kid asks each of us what our favorite thing of the day was, no neggative stuff allowed. The kids love it and it gives me hints on what they are enjoying at the time so I don't lose touch.

a

Hope he is gets back to his old self with medication real soon, so you can have him back home.

I'll be thinking and praying about you guys.

Mojo

[Guest guest]

a,

I sympathize with you completely. I have a son with schizophrenia who

is now 18. After having a rough time in his early years, he also

started having psychotic episodes in his middle teens. Unfortunately,

it's the way this illness often develops. It has nothing to do with

upbringing or friends or whatever. It's purely biological. As sad as

it is, perhapes a placement option would be best until he can be

stabilized on his medications. There are a couple times in life when

meds have to be changed to meet the changes in the patients growing

body, and this is one of them.

Anyone with any sense in the system would NOT use this to hamper your

adoption for two reasons: 1st, because you are doing all you can to

provide for the boy's medical needs, and 2nd because it is very hard

to place children like this and they will be happy you are sticking

with him.

If you have not yet contacted the Alliance for the Mentally Ill I

strongly urge you to do so. This is an organizaiton of parents and

caretakers that provides support, advocacy and information. There are

local and national chapters, as well as informative sites and

contacts online.

Good luck. My prayers will be with you

Kate

> From: azToy2@a... [mailto:azToy2@a...]

> Sent: Thursday, May 20, 2004 11:05 PM

> To: LUPIES

> Subject: Re: bad night last night..

>

>

>

> In a message dated 5/20/2004 5:44:13 AM US Mountain Standard Time,

> sisterst57@y... writes:

>

> Well, guys we had a pretty tough night here last night. Our oldest

son

> Justen has been bringing home an attitude from school lately.

Everyone kept

> telling us not to worry that it was a typical teen attitude. Justen

has a

> severe learning disability as well as having been dx'd with

psychosis before

> he came to live with us. After a year in our home he was able to go

off of

> his meds and has done extremely well. Then he turned 15 and it's

like he

> lost his mind. Anyway, lately he has been bringing home artwork

from his

> school that is devils. He keeps making them out of various

materials. I told

> him that we don't believe in that and asked if he had some friends

that were

> maybe into this stuff as he learned about things that he never saw

in our

> home. Anyway he just kept yelling at me that it wasn't his friends

and I

> told him that he couldn't bring that stuff in our home. He stomped

into our

> living room, I thought to cool off. About half an hour later we

realized

> that he had run away. I called the police while my dad drove up and

down the

> streets for two hours. As it was getting dark I was scared out of

my mind

> because of his learning disabilities he doesn't know our phone

number or

> address. As the police woman was driving up, his school called. It

was seven

> thirty and they said that they had had him the whole time! I asked

why the

> you know what they hadn't called and let us know he was safe and

they said

> that they were more worried about him because he was threatening to

kill

> himself as well as my husband. Anyway, when it was all said and

done, he is

> now at the children's psych hospital and they are saying that he is

> delusional and psychotic among other things. Now he has to go back

on the

> meds and he is having a hard time. I am at a loss for what to do.

He can't

> come back here with so many little ones until he is well managed

and the DR

> today told me that he may need to go to a residential home for a

while. I

> don't understand how this kid went from my loving wonderful kind

son one

> month and then the next, he is suspended from school three times,

> detentions, fired from his job, disrespectful at home among other

things. I

> don't know what part of this is normal teen stuff and what is not

so we are

> having to trust the DR's and that is not a good feeling. Anyway, I

don't

> know what to do with him. We would never disrupt his adoption, yet

we can't

> jeopardize the other kids. Anyway, advice is welcome on this one!

> a C

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

You know...when your children are babies and learning to walk and talk you sometimes think how neat it will be when they grow up some and can be more independent..Ha! I think the problems that I have faced with my adult children are by far more gut wretching than a dirty diaper..

Amen!

a C