Re: I am adopted...

May 22, 2004

I saw a post from MM to a C. I am not sure what is going on but I

am gonna post my thoughts...

I am adopted...have been since I was four days old. I am fifty one

years old (feel fortunate I told my age...but I needed to due to the

time I was born in)...In those days a child born out of wedlock was

looked upon as a bastard of sorts...the unwed mother was scorned and the

family was disgraced...thank God times have changed...

My mom was young...maybe about fifteen when she had me. She wanted to

keep me but my natural grandmother said she would put her out on the

street...My father...I presume he just went his own way...i am not

sure...

I was adopted by a wonderful family who had lost a twenty two month old

baby girl due to pneumonia. The doc called my adopted mom up and asked

her if she wanted a baby...she said ok and he said come and get her...I

was born in a small four bed hospital. The nurse that took care of me

and assisted at my birth became a close family friend to this day. Aunt

Betty, as I call her, unlocked many questions that I could not ask my

adoptive mother.

It is really hard for a child or even a grown up, to accept the fact

that they were unwanted by their natural parents...but down inside I

felt so happy to be in this wonderful adoptive family...My adopted daddy

adored me and my adoptive mom gave me everything under the son...

What as so strange about the entire thing, and I just found this

out...My natural mom went to recuperate right across the street from

where I was with my new family. She went to her sisters house, my birth

aunt. I never knew of this until about five years ago. My mother in

law on her death bed, told me who my birth mom was...she wanted me to

know and she knew my adoptive mom was not gonna tell me.

I guess the reason she did not want to tell me was cause she was scared

they would come and get me....or that my birth mom would come by and try

to be my mom again...but that could never happen. My adoptive mom,

Flossie, and my adoptive daddy, , have and will always be my mom

and dad...they are the ones that did without so that I could have those

prom dresses...those were the ones that stayed up with me when I was so

sick with asthma every nite...they were the ones that stress goodness

and morales in my life...those were my parents...My birth parents were

only egg and sperm donors to me.

I used to always wonder when I was a kid and to this day, if my mom

every thought of me on my birthday on March 4th...did she remember...to

this day it is hard. I just started giving myself surprise birthday

parties with my kiddies at school...and my daughter surprised me with a

big surprise party this year....It blew me away....My birthday I spent

wondering why did she give me away...on holidays it was the same

thing...why....all the holidays at my house were low keyed...this year I

had the first really good christmas in a long time as my kids were home

and it was my first grandbaby's first Christmas...that meant so much to

me for the baby to be here with me.

When I gave birth to my first daughter twenty eight years ago, the nurse

brought her to me....and I told the nurse to take her back for a little

while...I was crying and crying...my mom never got to even see what I

looked like....I was whisked out of there before she got a glimpse of

me...Catholic Services you know...those nuns believed in that....all my

mom heard was my haunting cry.

My Aunt Betty told me some things the day I was sitting for my adoptive

mom who was dying from cancer in the hospital. She told me that her

name was Kate...and she was a nice girl that got into trouble. She

wanted her baby but could not keep her...I was told that four years

ago...

When I was growing up I always had questions I asked my adoptive

mom....why did she give me up....who was my daddy...and her reply was

always...she could not take care of you...

The day before I got married she told me that I was illegitate and that

my mom did not know who my daddy was cause he had so many women...why

she told me this story the day before my wedding, I have no clue...it

was so far from the truth...

I guess she thought I was gonna go look for her...I would never do

that...I know that would have hurt my adoptive mom and I would never

want to do that.

The only thing that really bothered me was how I was introduced to

people...My adoptive mom would introduce me as this is the child I

adopted and these are my two real daughters....this I did not care

for...first...why make the distinction...we are all your daughters...and

second...I am as real as the others....this hurt my feelings...and it

happened over and over and over....You do not only have the questions in

your head about why did she give me away, you have well meaning people

making you think of it everyday of the week.

When my adoptive mom was in the hospital, she was in ICU...and visiting

is hard and there are many rules...I was refused entrance to see my mom

cause i was not a blood relative...I explained to the head nurse I was

the adoptive daughter but I was given no admittance...well...I was

banging on the hospital administrators door and I quoted the State of

Louisiana law that stated that an adoptive child has the same rights as

a blood relative...and that I demanded to see my mom...and if they did

not allow it, my lawyer would make sure I owned this hospital by the

morning....I got to see my mom...Her doc did the same thing...when I was

sitting with her he refused to tell me info cause I was not a blood

relative...well i educated him fast on the law and remined him I had an

attorney already on retainer...so i got the info too...

It is hard being a kid knowing you are adopted...but I do believe it is

better for the kid to know that they are adopted than to them to be

surprised by the news one day. Show them love...show them caring...and

they know who their real mom and dad are.

a, Idk how old your children are...I found out I was adopted at

six...My mom said I was special cause I was picked out to be her little

girl. That was so nice...

Oh....I wrote my birth mom a letter and had it delivered to my birth

aunt that lives right across the street from me. I told her I know who

she was and that I was a teacher. I have two girls, one that is a US

Navy gunner who was on the USS Cole when it was hit. I told her that

her " granddaughter " was a hero cause she crawled thru the messhall to

save the lives of many soldiers on that day...I also told her she had

another granddaughter that was dyslexic but had overcome that and was a

teacher in a high school...and a cheerleading coach...I also gave her my

phone number and address ...I told her I would like to talk to her...not

to ask her why or anything...just to thank her for giving birth to

me...and loving me enough to give me away to people that would make a

great home for me...that is sacrifice yall...

i waited and waited for that phone call....three birthdays have passed

and still no phone call...Christmases, Easters, and every other holiday

and she still has not called me...I am just chalking it up to her

loss...I am a good person...and if she does not want to get to know

me...she is a loser in my eyes...all I want to do is to tell her thank

you for chosing adoption instead of abortion...

So you see even at fifty one, an adopted child still has many questions

that remain unanswered...but I know who was my mom and dad...Flossie and

were...God blessed me with wonderful adoptive parents whom I love

very much and miss so much. chippy

May 22, 2004

Chippy,

Even though you have a lot of questions of 'why', it seems though you've gotten past the anger of being the adopted child. I think that is so great and you're so courageous for living your life out when you could've just stayed stuck in a rut wondering why you were adopted and couldn't be with your birth parents. You see your real parents for who they are ... Flossie and . I think what you wrote was truly beautiful.

-.

Re: I am adopted...

> I saw a post from MM to a C. I am not sure what is going on but I> am gonna post my thoughts...> > I am adopted...have been since I was four days old. I am fifty one> years old (feel fortunate I told my age...but I needed to due to the> time I was born in)...In those days a child born out of wedlock was> looked upon as a bastard of sorts...the unwed mother was scorned and the> family was disgraced...thank God times have changed...> > My mom was young...maybe about fifteen when she had me. She wanted to> keep me but my natural grandmother said she would put her out on the> street...My father...I presume he just went his own way...i am not> sure...> > I was adopted by a wonderful family who had lost a twenty two month old> baby girl due to pneumonia. The doc called my adopted mom up and asked> her if she wanted a baby...she said ok and he said come and get her...I> was born in a small four bed hospital. The nurse that took care of me> and assisted at my birth became a close family friend to this day. Aunt> Betty, as I call her, unlocked many questions that I could not ask my> adoptive mother.> > It is really hard for a child or even a grown up, to accept the fact> that they were unwanted by their natural parents...but down inside I> felt so happy to be in this wonderful adoptive family...My adopted daddy> adored me and my adoptive mom gave me everything under the son...> > What as so strange about the entire thing, and I just found this> out...My natural mom went to recuperate right across the street from> where I was with my new family. She went to her sisters house, my birth> aunt. I never knew of this until about five years ago. My mother in> law on her death bed, told me who my birth mom was...she wanted me to> know and she knew my adoptive mom was not gonna tell me.> > I guess the reason she did not want to tell me was cause she was scared> they would come and get me....or that my birth mom would come by and try> to be my mom again...but that could never happen. My adoptive mom,> Flossie, and my adoptive daddy, , have and will always be my mom> and dad...they are the ones that did without so that I could have those> prom dresses...those were the ones that stayed up with me when I was so> sick with asthma every nite...they were the ones that stress goodness> and morales in my life...those were my parents...My birth parents were> only egg and sperm donors to me.> > I used to always wonder when I was a kid and to this day, if my mom> every thought of me on my birthday on March 4th...did she remember...to> this day it is hard. I just started giving myself surprise birthday> parties with my kiddies at school...and my daughter surprised me with a> big surprise party this year....It blew me away....My birthday I spent> wondering why did she give me away...on holidays it was the same> thing...why....all the holidays at my house were low keyed...this year I> had the first really good christmas in a long time as my kids were home> and it was my first grandbaby's first Christmas...that meant so much to> me for the baby to be here with me.> > When I gave birth to my first daughter twenty eight years ago, the nurse> brought her to me....and I told the nurse to take her back for a little> while...I was crying and crying...my mom never got to even see what I> looked like....I was whisked out of there before she got a glimpse of> me...Catholic Services you know...those nuns believed in that....all my> mom heard was my haunting cry.> > My Aunt Betty told me some things the day I was sitting for my adoptive> mom who was dying from cancer in the hospital. She told me that her> name was Kate...and she was a nice girl that got into trouble. She> wanted her baby but could not keep her...I was told that four years> ago...> > When I was growing up I always had questions I asked my adoptive> mom....why did she give me up....who was my daddy...and her reply was> always...she could not take care of you...> > The day before I got married she told me that I was illegitate and that> my mom did not know who my daddy was cause he had so many women...why> she told me this story the day before my wedding, I have no clue...it> was so far from the truth...> I guess she thought I was gonna go look for her...I would never do> that...I know that would have hurt my adoptive mom and I would never> want to do that.> > The only thing that really bothered me was how I was introduced to> people...My adoptive mom would introduce me as this is the child I> adopted and these are my two real daughters....this I did not care> for...first...why make the distinction...we are all your daughters...and> second...I am as real as the others....this hurt my feelings...and it> happened over and over and over....You do not only have the questions in> your head about why did she give me away, you have well meaning people> making you think of it everyday of the week.> > When my adoptive mom was in the hospital, she was in ICU...and visiting> is hard and there are many rules...I was refused entrance to see my mom> cause i was not a blood relative...I explained to the head nurse I was> the adoptive daughter but I was given no admittance...well...I was> banging on the hospital administrators door and I quoted the State of> Louisiana law that stated that an adoptive child has the same rights as> a blood relative...and that I demanded to see my mom...and if they did> not allow it, my lawyer would make sure I owned this hospital by the> morning....I got to see my mom...Her doc did the same thing...when I was> sitting with her he refused to tell me info cause I was not a blood> relative...well i educated him fast on the law and remined him I had an> attorney already on retainer...so i got the info too...> > It is hard being a kid knowing you are adopted...but I do believe it is> better for the kid to know that they are adopted than to them to be> surprised by the news one day. Show them love...show them caring...and> they know who their real mom and dad are. > > > a, Idk how old your children are...I found out I was adopted at> six...My mom said I was special cause I was picked out to be her little> girl. That was so nice...> > > Oh....I wrote my birth mom a letter and had it delivered to my birth> aunt that lives right across the street from me. I told her I know who> she was and that I was a teacher. I have two girls, one that is a US> Navy gunner who was on the USS Cole when it was hit. I told her that> her "granddaughter" was a hero cause she crawled thru the messhall to> save the lives of many soldiers on that day...I also told her she had> another granddaughter that was dyslexic but had overcome that and was a> teacher in a high school...and a cheerleading coach...I also gave her my> phone number and address ...I told her I would like to talk to her...not> to ask her why or anything...just to thank her for giving birth to> me...and loving me enough to give me away to people that would make a> great home for me...that is sacrifice yall...> > i waited and waited for that phone call....three birthdays have passed> and still no phone call...Christmases, Easters, and every other holiday> and she still has not called me...I am just chalking it up to her> loss...I am a good person...and if she does not want to get to know> me...she is a loser in my eyes...all I want to do is to tell her thank> you for chosing adoption instead of abortion...> > So you see even at fifty one, an adopted child still has many questions> that remain unanswered...but I know who was my mom and dad...Flossie and> were...God blessed me with wonderful adoptive parents whom I love> very much and miss so much. chippy

May 22, 2004

Chippy, that is so sad that they introduced you like that. When we introduce our kids we say, " hi, this is my daughter ." I feel that is the right of my children to tell whoever they want when the time is right. Now it is obvious that our kids are adopted. Justen, Karl, Felicity and Josh are white, Freddie, , and keyone are black, and Bridget is Hispanic. We don't have to worry about telling them that they are adopted as they were all older when we got them except the two babies and we talk about adoption all the time here so they will know all along. We have therapists that come to our home to work with them. I think there is a difference between a parent surrendering their child because they know that they can't take care of it for whatever reason, and a parent who loses her kids to the state the way that ours have due to the severe abuse and neglect. Okay, I will get off my soap box now, and thank you because I always love to hear from adult adoptees on how they are doing and if they resent the family that adopted them for some reason.

a C

May 23, 2004

I would like to share my thoughts on adoptions....So if you would all bare with me, I'll tell you our families story. The year was 1972, And I was pretty active in school..

In fact, I had everything planned out for me ( as far as school was concerned) I played in the marching band, pep band, and concert band. I was also in drama, Class Secretary of the student body. And was on the Principles Honor Role. Now I said all that because I never wanted to go home. Why! I got beat up by either my sister or brother on a daily bases. But Lets not go there. I will say this though. " I would have done anything for either one of them. EVEN TO THIS DAY..... Even though I credit those very hard school years living at home to be the reason I have LUPUS TODAY. BUT I LOVE THEM BOTH ANYWAYS.

and sweet Brother in trash can and big sister well, Jack took care of her. On with the story.........BUZZING will lead.......

BUZZING ON DOWN....

From: a Wahl

To: LUPIES

Sent: Saturday, May 22, 2004 10:15 PM

Subject: Re: Re: I am adopted...

Wow sweetie, that is a heck of a story, but I am glad that you were taken in by people who would love you. At least you had the guts to contact your birth mother. I once thought about meeting my bio dad, but then changed my mind, because I know what i would of said to him would not be nice

I love the way that you look at it, and that you would thank her. At this time in my life, I am not upset about it any longer, just have no desire to meet him. Love, hugs, and prayers, achipsie1@... wrote:

post from MM to a C. my thoughts...I am adopted...have been since I was four days old. I am fifty oneyears old (feel fortunate I told my age...but I needed to due to thetime I was born in)...In those days a child born out of wedlock waslooked upon as a bastard of sorts...the unwed mother was scorned and thefamily was disgraced...thank God times have changed...My Sister came home from somewhere, And told me that she needed to talk to someone. But being the sweet one of the three. I sat down and let her talk. I kinda enjoyed hearing her voice for a change. Yea! She was pregnant. 5 months. I'm the one she came to... I didn't know what to say. amd i hate myself for this: But I was laughing inside. I had to be back at school. So i just said what any Tenth Grader would say. What are you going to do? Boy.. I now have the power over my sister. You know you will have to tell Mom and Dad. I can't they will hate me. I told you so that you could tell them. I just walk away. Nor did I tell a soul about my sister. I didn't want others thinking bad about her or I. Well the Summer of 72 was a big turning point for me. And I wasn't able to go to Summer School due to my Sisters problem. The whole family went on a very long vacation. Where she stayed at a place called: D--- of Hope. Now that summer my sister and I got alittle bit closer. Since I basically did her home work for her. And with A's & B's She made my parents proud and the Teacher happier. Problem Child she was.. Now my parents and Sister had the choice of either keeping the baby or giving the baby up for adoption: Kim had already landed an awesome job. And her wedding had been planned before November 1971. So all the papers were signed that the baby would not be put up for adoption and placed with a Family for 6 months. BUZZING ALONG...

I used to always wonder when I was a kid and to this day, if my momevery thought of me on my birthday on March 4th...did she remember...tothis day it is hard. On July 17th I took my horse out riding for awhile. I knew Kim was also in labor. And my Dad was on his way to the camp ground. Well all H E L L broke lose that day. I never came back. But --MY LOVE did...MY LOVE was my Horses name. And no one knew where I went. I was always there on time, NO MATTER WHAT.. Except for this time. I'm going to cut this part short.. My sister had her baby at 2:30 that day. A GIRL... They found me after dark. I was knocked off MY LOVE after a rattler snake bite her. I guess I hit this boulder and bounced over it, I can't say. I woke up 8 days later with a head injury and my right shoulder was complety smashed. I spent the next 2 months in the hospital. Now My Sister never came to visit me once. I never knew why! I used to wonder what the baby looked like. When would I get to see her. I cryed so much. I never thought about myself I cared more for my sister. But She didn't want to see me. And I thought I did something. She will be turning 32 on July 17th. And this has been one of the hardest day for me every year. In fact I never had a birthday party either. I have a hard time talking about my birthday. Which once again April 26th came and went. Not a soul called or e-mailed. I'm still a bit hurt. But I guess I deserve it. For what happen to my sister during labor. She really needed my parents. BUT they were out looking for Stupid ME... And I am the reason Kim lost her baby. She hated me for years.

I just started giving myself surprise birthday parties with my kiddies at school.

My birthday I spent wondering why did she give me away...on holidays it was the samething...why....all the holidays at my house were low keyed.

NOW BUZZ ALONG SOME MORE: I gave birth to my first babies 29 years ago this Monday May 24th. I ended up in Oklahoma Where I went to Nursing School At Oklahoma University. I recieved a sociolarship. I lost the baby girl and my Son was 8.3 and 19 1/2. I will always remember my little girl. As well as Kim's.

When I gave birth to my first daughter twenty eight years ago, the nursebrought her to me....and I told the nurse to take her back for a littlewhile...I was crying and crying...my mom never got to even see what Ilooked like....I was whisked out of there before she got a glimpse ofme...Catholic Services you know...those nuns believed in that....all mymom heard was my haunting cry.Now My Father passed awayed October 1994. And the only thing my Son has ever asked for was that , His aunt Kim and my Parents be there to see him graduate. We were living in Royal Oak, Michigan at that time. In fact we lived 2 houses away from the famous Post Office. I really thought someone was shooting at the school. Stupid me ran outside only to get shoved down by a police. that's all.. BUZZING AGAIN.... We all drove back to California together. Oh what fun we had that trip. We laughed until it hurt. You remember Lorna Bobbit. It was on that trip home I finailly found out what happened to MICHELLE KAY. Well the place was pretty bad. Since my parents weren't there after she delivered. and she was still quite out off it. My Sister believed the Nurse and Doctor that her Mom and Dad had made a decision not to keep the baby. She can't recall to much and my parents were shocked. Because they were told my Sister sign the adoption paper. Since they seemed not to care about her. The doctors sent them home and they kept Kim heavly druged. In fact she never came home again. When my sister turned 18 She had to get her appent. out. And OH! BOY!!!

They found out the place she gave birth at had given her a complete Histerectomy. No MICHELLE and no chance of having another baby. That place has been shut down for over 20 years now. THANK THE LORD.

and she was a nice girl that got into trouble. She wanted her baby but could not keep her...I was told that four years ago...I never quite got over that. If only.... I LOVED MY SISTER VERY MUCH> I even tryed to be a surregate. But we lost the little one at 4 months. And I now couldn't have any more.

ON MAY 3, 1984 I RECIEVED A CALL FROM MY SISTER WHILE AT WORK. ARE YOU SITTING DOWN? YES... YOU ARE NOW SOMETHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE. AND SO I'M I WHAT.... I'M A MOM OF A SMALL LITTLE GIRL, SHE WAS BORN APRIL 12TH. HER NAME WILL BE SHANNON AFTER YOUR LITTLE GIRL. WE ARE VERY CLOSE NOW. EVEN IF SHE STILL DOESN'T CALL ME ON MY BIRTHDAY. SO MY STORY

HAS TO END. I JUST WANTED ALL TO KNOW THAT SOMETIMES MOMMIES MIGHT NOT KNOW THAT SOMEONE HATEFUL IS STEALING THEIR BABY. UNTIL IT TO LATE. MY FAMILY KNOWS FIRST HAND. THANKS FOR LISTENING....... AND MY ALL YOUR SUNDAYS AND EVERY OTHER DAYS BE WITHOUT PAIN OR HATEFUL PEOPLE. The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/lupies

May 23, 2004