Food refusal

[Guest guest]

> I know this sounds awfully mean, but the only thing I have ever found that

was offer food that you want them to eat, if they choose not to eat it take

it away and don't offer anything else apart from a drink (not milk or fruit

juice though) until the next meal time,

I tend to give DS a banana or apple if he doesn't want his dinner.

After all I lived off fruit for the first 4 months of my pregnancy.

My friends DD would only eat ham and beans but the doctor said not to worry

and she would grow out of it (she did and got a first at Cambridge aswell!)

[Guest guest]

> I know this sounds awfully mean, but the only thing I have ever found that

was offer food that you want them to eat, if they choose not to eat it take

it away and don't offer anything else apart from a drink (not milk or fruit

juice though) until the next meal time,

I tend to give DS a banana or apple if he doesn't want his dinner.

After all I lived off fruit for the first 4 months of my pregnancy.

My friends DD would only eat ham and beans but the doctor said not to worry

and she would grow out of it (she did and got a first at Cambridge aswell!)

[Guest guest]

In article <001a01c0d806$45febe20$2ed2e4d4@default>, & -Jane

bj@...> writes

>I tend to give DS a banana or apple if he doesn't want his dinner.

>After all I lived off fruit for the first 4 months of my pregnancy.

>My friends DD would only eat ham and beans but the doctor said not to worry

>and she would grow out of it (she did and got a first at Cambridge aswell!)

My dsd2 (currently sitting the other side of the room designing her web

page) survived on processed ham and cucumber for two years. And my dd1

ate sausages, plain pasta (penne, for preference) and broccoli or peas

for tea for about 18 months.

Cath

[Guest guest]

In article <001a01c0d806$45febe20$2ed2e4d4@default>, & -Jane

bj@...> writes

>I tend to give DS a banana or apple if he doesn't want his dinner.

>After all I lived off fruit for the first 4 months of my pregnancy.

>My friends DD would only eat ham and beans but the doctor said not to worry

>and she would grow out of it (she did and got a first at Cambridge aswell!)

My dsd2 (currently sitting the other side of the room designing her web

page) survived on processed ham and cucumber for two years. And my dd1

ate sausages, plain pasta (penne, for preference) and broccoli or peas

for tea for about 18 months.

Cath

[Guest guest]

In article <001a01c0d806$45febe20$2ed2e4d4@default>, & -Jane

bj@...> writes

>I tend to give DS a banana or apple if he doesn't want his dinner.

>After all I lived off fruit for the first 4 months of my pregnancy.

>My friends DD would only eat ham and beans but the doctor said not to worry

>and she would grow out of it (she did and got a first at Cambridge aswell!)

My dsd2 (currently sitting the other side of the room designing her web

page) survived on processed ham and cucumber for two years. And my dd1

ate sausages, plain pasta (penne, for preference) and broccoli or peas

for tea for about 18 months.

Cath

[Guest guest]

60 days, you say? That's quite reassuring, though she must be 30 days into

that already! ;-)))

Lesley

-----------------

From: fab131 [

I worry like crazy that I am starving my child but I

keep reminding myself of the comment in " Toddler Taming " that it takes

something like 60 days for a toddler to starve to death!!

[Guest guest]

60 days, you say? That's quite reassuring, though she must be 30 days into

that already! ;-)))

Lesley

-----------------

From: fab131 [

I worry like crazy that I am starving my child but I

keep reminding myself of the comment in " Toddler Taming " that it takes

something like 60 days for a toddler to starve to death!!

[Guest guest]

60 days, you say? That's quite reassuring, though she must be 30 days into

that already! ;-)))

Lesley

-----------------

From: fab131 [

I worry like crazy that I am starving my child but I

keep reminding myself of the comment in " Toddler Taming " that it takes

something like 60 days for a toddler to starve to death!!

[Guest guest]

> I'm in desperate need of ideas for getting 5 yr old DD2 to eat. She

> is refusing practically everything I can think of.

>

> She's never been a great eater but I used to be able to guarantee

that

> she would eat pasta, cheese, yoghurt, apple, tomatoes. Now, she is

> refusing even these morsels. I'm at my wits end, having tried all

the

> usual tricks of ignoring her complaints, taking away the food

without

> comment.

>

> Her current diet consists of cereal (sometimes) for breakfast and

> golden syrup sandwiches. Very balanced, I don't think! She would

eat

> crisps and biscuits till the cows come home, if I let her.

>

> I'm finding it all so depressing.

>

> Lesley

You know that teenage son I talk about? He is HUGE (6 foot), strong

as an ox, hardly ever ill, muscular, good looking, aside from some

zits, and he eats hardly anything healthy at all. His daily diet

contains no fruit or vegetables with the occasional exception of

cucumber and very rarely a tangerine. He eats cereal for breakfast, a

chocolate spread bun for lunch along with packets and packets of

crisps all day, and biscuits and diet coke, and for supper he'll

either eat pizza and chips, or maybe a little bit of chicken or a

shnitzel, and that rare slice of cucumber.

I am now firmly convinced there are healthy calories in air.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

> I'm in desperate need of ideas for getting 5 yr old DD2 to eat. She

> is refusing practically everything I can think of.

>

> She's never been a great eater but I used to be able to guarantee

that

> she would eat pasta, cheese, yoghurt, apple, tomatoes. Now, she is

> refusing even these morsels. I'm at my wits end, having tried all

the

> usual tricks of ignoring her complaints, taking away the food

without

> comment.

>

> Her current diet consists of cereal (sometimes) for breakfast and

> golden syrup sandwiches. Very balanced, I don't think! She would

eat

> crisps and biscuits till the cows come home, if I let her.

>

> I'm finding it all so depressing.

>

> Lesley

You know that teenage son I talk about? He is HUGE (6 foot), strong

as an ox, hardly ever ill, muscular, good looking, aside from some

zits, and he eats hardly anything healthy at all. His daily diet

contains no fruit or vegetables with the occasional exception of

cucumber and very rarely a tangerine. He eats cereal for breakfast, a

chocolate spread bun for lunch along with packets and packets of

crisps all day, and biscuits and diet coke, and for supper he'll

either eat pizza and chips, or maybe a little bit of chicken or a

shnitzel, and that rare slice of cucumber.

I am now firmly convinced there are healthy calories in air.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

> I'm in desperate need of ideas for getting 5 yr old DD2 to eat. She

> is refusing practically everything I can think of.

>

> She's never been a great eater but I used to be able to guarantee

that

> she would eat pasta, cheese, yoghurt, apple, tomatoes. Now, she is

> refusing even these morsels. I'm at my wits end, having tried all

the

> usual tricks of ignoring her complaints, taking away the food

without

> comment.

>

> Her current diet consists of cereal (sometimes) for breakfast and

> golden syrup sandwiches. Very balanced, I don't think! She would

eat

> crisps and biscuits till the cows come home, if I let her.

>

> I'm finding it all so depressing.

>

> Lesley

You know that teenage son I talk about? He is HUGE (6 foot), strong

as an ox, hardly ever ill, muscular, good looking, aside from some

zits, and he eats hardly anything healthy at all. His daily diet

contains no fruit or vegetables with the occasional exception of

cucumber and very rarely a tangerine. He eats cereal for breakfast, a

chocolate spread bun for lunch along with packets and packets of

crisps all day, and biscuits and diet coke, and for supper he'll

either eat pizza and chips, or maybe a little bit of chicken or a

shnitzel, and that rare slice of cucumber.

I am now firmly convinced there are healthy calories in air.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Anyway the starving of kids till they eat doesn't work with teenagers;

they just go and get themselves some more crisps!

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Anyway the starving of kids till they eat doesn't work with teenagers;

they just go and get themselves some more crisps!

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

I'm going to hang onto that thought, Ruthie! Thank you. :-)))

Lesley

-----------------

From: ruthie

I am now firmly convinced there are healthy calories in air.

[Guest guest]

I'm going to hang onto that thought, Ruthie! Thank you. :-)))

Lesley

-----------------

From: ruthie

I am now firmly convinced there are healthy calories in air.

[Guest guest]

But wouldn't you think that if a child was refusing food to the point of

starving themselves there was something more wrong with them than not wanting to

eat particular foods? - I would have thought there was more going on personally.

You said she'll cheerfully go without food - how long for?

Jo

RE: Food Refusal

But this approach clearly isn't working with with DD2. I don't offer her

anything else yet she will go without quite cheerfully.

As for children not starving themselves, I recall a documentary some

years

ago about a unit at Gt Ormond St hospital which treats children who

won't

eat and it was pretty clear that in fact children *will* starve

themselves,

whether intentionally or not. Some of them had to be tube or IV fed.

Some

of the children were very small, less than 3yo, so it wasn't likely to

be

anorexia nervosa.

I've been haunted by that programme ever since, which probably accounts

for

my edginess now!

Lesley

---------------

From: Jo

I know this sounds awfully mean, but the only thing I have ever found

that

worked (after caring for various children of various ages, before anyone

points out I only have one child of 10 months old!!!) was offer food

that

you want them to eat, if they choose not to eat it take it away and

don't

offer anything else apart from a drink (not milk or fruit juice though)

until the next meal time, and carry on like this until they do eat - it

makes you feel terrible, but there not stupid enough that they will

starve

themselves and they will eventually eat. As long as there drinking

plenty

it won't harm them at all.

[Guest guest]

But wouldn't you think that if a child was refusing food to the point of

starving themselves there was something more wrong with them than not wanting to

eat particular foods? - I would have thought there was more going on personally.

You said she'll cheerfully go without food - how long for?

Jo

RE: Food Refusal

But this approach clearly isn't working with with DD2. I don't offer her

anything else yet she will go without quite cheerfully.

As for children not starving themselves, I recall a documentary some

years

ago about a unit at Gt Ormond St hospital which treats children who

won't

eat and it was pretty clear that in fact children *will* starve

themselves,

whether intentionally or not. Some of them had to be tube or IV fed.

Some

of the children were very small, less than 3yo, so it wasn't likely to

be

anorexia nervosa.

I've been haunted by that programme ever since, which probably accounts

for

my edginess now!

Lesley

---------------

From: Jo

I know this sounds awfully mean, but the only thing I have ever found

that

worked (after caring for various children of various ages, before anyone

points out I only have one child of 10 months old!!!) was offer food

that

you want them to eat, if they choose not to eat it take it away and

don't

offer anything else apart from a drink (not milk or fruit juice though)

until the next meal time, and carry on like this until they do eat - it

makes you feel terrible, but there not stupid enough that they will

starve

themselves and they will eventually eat. As long as there drinking

plenty

it won't harm them at all.

[Guest guest]

But wouldn't you think that if a child was refusing food to the point of

starving themselves there was something more wrong with them than not wanting to

eat particular foods? - I would have thought there was more going on personally.

You said she'll cheerfully go without food - how long for?

Jo

RE: Food Refusal

But this approach clearly isn't working with with DD2. I don't offer her

anything else yet she will go without quite cheerfully.

As for children not starving themselves, I recall a documentary some

years

ago about a unit at Gt Ormond St hospital which treats children who

won't

eat and it was pretty clear that in fact children *will* starve

themselves,

whether intentionally or not. Some of them had to be tube or IV fed.

Some

of the children were very small, less than 3yo, so it wasn't likely to

be

anorexia nervosa.

I've been haunted by that programme ever since, which probably accounts

for

my edginess now!

Lesley

---------------

From: Jo

I know this sounds awfully mean, but the only thing I have ever found

that

worked (after caring for various children of various ages, before anyone

points out I only have one child of 10 months old!!!) was offer food

that

you want them to eat, if they choose not to eat it take it away and

don't

offer anything else apart from a drink (not milk or fruit juice though)

until the next meal time, and carry on like this until they do eat - it

makes you feel terrible, but there not stupid enough that they will

starve

themselves and they will eventually eat. As long as there drinking

plenty

it won't harm them at all.

[Guest guest]

Yes, I agree, there must be have been something more going on than simple

refusal to eat (though, thinking back, I seem to remember one of the

children had had an unpleasant experience, such as hot food that had burnt

him, or something) but it's the image of children not eating that has stayed

with me all these years.

However, today I am Mrs Horrid-Mummy and DD2 has been told that she eats at

mealtimes only. No snacks in between times, just water to drink. She has

accepted this, though has tried to get round it by telling me it was lunch

time at 11 o'clock!

Deep down, I knew what needed to be done, but it's the confirmation from

this list that has given me the courage to implement it. Thank you

everyone!

Lesley

PS she would go without food all day. Very stubborn character!

------------------

From: jo

But wouldn't you think that if a child was refusing food to the point of

starving themselves there was something more wrong with them than not

wanting to eat particular foods? - I would have thought there was more going

on personally.

You said she'll cheerfully go without food - how long for?

Jo

[Guest guest]

Don't ask me where I read it, but it was suggested that you wrote

down everything your child ate. Food from your plate, pinched grapes

from the supermarket and then look at exactly what they ate and when

and it maybe more (or less!) than you think.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

Don't ask me where I read it, but it was suggested that you wrote

down everything your child ate. Food from your plate, pinched grapes

from the supermarket and then look at exactly what they ate and when

and it maybe more (or less!) than you think.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

Don't ask me where I read it, but it was suggested that you wrote

down everything your child ate. Food from your plate, pinched grapes

from the supermarket and then look at exactly what they ate and when

and it maybe more (or less!) than you think.

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

Drives you bats doesn't it?

My SIL was telling me that her book says that it is OK if children

eat exactly the same meal over and over again. Depends rather what

the meal is IMHO.

My mother was telling me that when I was 2/3 I went through a phase

of eating nothing but macaroni cheese - not *too* bad! My Dad was

away for long periods and I was basically trying to make my world as

safe and predictable as possible.

My feelings are:

1) Don't get trapped into putting stuff in front of your child that

you don't really want them to eat. I keep saying to DH that it is one

thing if they refuse to eat healthy food we provide, but if we don't

provide it they don't even have the chance to eat healthily.

2) Vitamin supplements given to the child can be very therapeutic for

the parent!

3) There's a difference between a child not eating well and you

worry, and a child not eating well and they are losing weight or are

unwell.

4) I know that some of my anxiety about my children's eating is a

reflection of the way I feel about DHs eating (fussy, inappropriate

times, overweight, won't try things) - there's the " I don't want them

to grow up like him in this way "

5) I know lots of books/articles suggest a lot of play/creativity

around food but I don't think it works with all children (would leave

DS1 cold) and if you go to more trouble and it is still rejected, it

will be more stressful.

6) If anyone knows any way round the problem of a child refusing what

you have reasonably provided, going without anything because you

won't be manipulated and then they are genuinely hungry before the

next meal which makes them difficult to manage until they get fed,

please let me know!

There's an interesting booklet on food refusal which was supplied to

HVs within the last couple of years - this contains strategies to use

with those children who genuinely are being affected by their

inadequate diet.

--

jennifer@...

Vaudin

[Guest guest]

Lesley said:

PS she would go without food all day. Very stubborn character!

Jeepers is that all! I thought you were goner say a week or something ;-)

Jo

[Guest guest]

LOL!!! But she will go several days with just a bit of cereal each morning.

I hope being Mrs Horrid-Mummy is working. Its just gone 3pm and she's

complaining about being hungry, after eating about half her lunch.

Main problem is that *I'm* hungry but can hardly stuff my face while she's

watching!! :-)

Lesley

------------

From: Jo

Lesley said:

PS she would go without food all day. Very stubborn character!

Jeepers is that all! I thought you were goner say a week or something ;-)