Bereavement and Graves.

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I have been away from the internet for a while. I took a break from

contributing to these boards after my Father died suddenly. Dad had been

ill with heart problems for quite a few years, but I think I had convinced

myself he was indestructable. He was 76, I am 36. He died on August 2nd.

It all still seems quite unreal to me at the moment. I am incredibly

grateful to have a close and supportive family at this time; and incredibly

grateful to my Dad for facing the illnesses he had at the end of his life

with great grace and an uncomplaining disposition. His attitude led him to

find new ways to be himself when he lost most of his sight through diabetes,

lost his energy to heart problems.

I am still reeling sometimes but wanted to make contact again with the

Graves' and hyperthyroidsim support group , because

1) I felt bad about disappearing

2) common sense tells me that this is a potentially re-triggering time for

me in relation to Graves, so I thought I would just " report in " so to speak.

I am feeling okay - still in remission and grateful that I am not having to

deal with grief whilst also in the throes of hyperthyroidism.

I stopped participating in these boards because I couldn't write here

without mentioning my loss, but didn't at that point feel I could share it

in a way that wouldn't damage me. I knew people would write back to me and

felt it would be too confronting to recieve condolences and engage in

discussions on grief whilst I was treading so carefully through those first

few weeks. I am still in two minds as to whether the time is right for me

to write in now.

I feel I am in a balancing act, trying to do justice to my feelings and be

authentic about loosing my Dad; but aware also that the last thing I or my

family need is for my illness to revive. Withdrawing from the support

boards for a time has been part of that balancing act.

I hope this makes sense. I have really appreciated the help and support

from all the people here since my diagnosis with hyperthyroidism in 2000,

but couldn't handle putting stuff down on paper early on and will probably

still remain a spectator for the time being.

Also I just find the traffic on these boards a bit overwhelming. I just

don't have time to read all the posts - how do other people do it? I

probably still will remain a lurker more than a participator for some time

to come, but did want to say hello again to everyone.

PS - very interested in the gluten free stuff that has been on the board

recently. Going to go totally gluten free myself despite having tested

negative for celiacs disease on several occasions.

DAWN ROSE

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