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Re: Re: TORY & OTHERS

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Christi,

Really great post here. Thank you.

175/157.8/130

Re: Re: TORY & OTHERS

> When i was growing up, I knew what was beautiful.

> Women in the gorgeous paintings tht I loved were

> beautiful. The naked women in the magazines lying

> underneath my father's bed, they were beautiful.

> Barbie, Now, she was beautiful. I thought that when i

> grew up, I would be beautiful. And then i sprouted

> breasts, and then i was done with that, and I looked

> NOTHING like any of those women. I was So. Not.

> Beautiful. I didnt look like them, i didnt get to

> dress like them, i was some hideous little troglydyte.

> And I loathed myself, I felt completely cheated. This

> went on for YEARS.

> I dont know when i started changing. Part of it was

> when i realized that my grandma and grandad were

> together for over 50 years and he loved her and she

> him, and she didnt look like any of what i have

> mentioned before. I had a best friend who outweighted

> me by over one hundred lbs, and she had guys hitting

> on her. So it had to be soemthing else. it had to be

> ATTITUDE. So i got attitude,a nd i got hope, and i

> went looking. There had to be a man out there for me.

> Adn i found one. He loved me. He loved ME just the way

> that i was, fat and chunky. he thoguth i was

> beautiful. I had made it. i was a bride, a wife, a

> mother at last of three beautiful kids.

> And then.. He took it all away. He met someone at

> work, who was younger, stupider, and now hes with her,

> and two months after he moved out, shes pregnant. so

> where do i go from here? I make good choices for

> myself. I do good things. I take care of my kids, I

> take care of myself, i do things that will take us

> ahead in ways he never wanted to do. I celebrate my

> curves here, and here, and here, all of them. I see a

> woman who is going ahead and doing good things,

> because whether or not there is a man out there for me

> (and believe you me, ive already met some of them) I

> am fine.. just the way i am.

> I would say that if you dont love you, nobody's going

> to. I didnt love me. When i started loveing me, i

> started getting soem attention. I walked down the

> street like i was goddess walking, I had attitude, and

> when i started putting a high price on me, what i was

> worth. guess what.. so did they. its all attitude.

> Then you start doing good things for yourself, and

> celebrate every good thing you do. you build yourself

> up without tearing y ourself down, until you are that

> person that you really want to be.

> So.. who do you want to be?

> Me, i want a college degree. i want a job in something

> that i love. im going back to college, im getting that

> degree and im going to be a librarian. Iwill be doing

> something that i love, taking care of myself and my

> kids.

> i want to be healthy, so i am exercising, losing

> weight so that my diabetes dissipates as much as

> possible.

> I want a house, so i am going to college, to get the

> degree to get a job to get waht i want.

>

> The big questions you ahve to ask is. .what do you

> want?What makes you happy? What is best for YOU? When

> you are doing all those things, you love yourself. If

> you are stuck in a job you hate, you are going to hate

> yourself for having to go there every day. When you

> hate your surroundings, ditto. If your life is

> overwhelmingly negative, you are going to be that way

> also.

> whether you are fat or not. That is just one more

> problem that you have to deal with.

> Okay, i will say just one more thing. When i started

> losing weight, it affected me. I began to get more

> confident, feeling that if i can do that, i can do

> anything. I met a goal, and then anotehr goal, and i

> began to feel that if THAT could be dealt with in

> small pieces, maybe everything else could too. Maybe

> that is a key for you also, maybe not. But i dont look

> at myself and say " oh you fat pig, look at you, you

> ate a brownie " . I say, " oh, good for you, you ate your

> veggies today and drank your water, and had a really

> good brownie. NOT three of them, A brownie. it was

> only a freakin' brownie!! " and if i had three

> brownies, in a pms fit or whatever (and that is,

> happily, not happening much at all anymore) I can say,

> again, positively-- " Okay, y ou had a bad day.

> Tomorrow will be better. But you ate your veggies, you

> drank y our water, and you walked some extra today to

> try and do better, so good for y ou!! " The point is,

> to not shy away from the bad things, but not to wallow

> in them either. Okay, i will be quiet NOW.

> christi

>

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Christi,

Really great post here. Thank you.

175/157.8/130

Re: Re: TORY & OTHERS

> When i was growing up, I knew what was beautiful.

> Women in the gorgeous paintings tht I loved were

> beautiful. The naked women in the magazines lying

> underneath my father's bed, they were beautiful.

> Barbie, Now, she was beautiful. I thought that when i

> grew up, I would be beautiful. And then i sprouted

> breasts, and then i was done with that, and I looked

> NOTHING like any of those women. I was So. Not.

> Beautiful. I didnt look like them, i didnt get to

> dress like them, i was some hideous little troglydyte.

> And I loathed myself, I felt completely cheated. This

> went on for YEARS.

> I dont know when i started changing. Part of it was

> when i realized that my grandma and grandad were

> together for over 50 years and he loved her and she

> him, and she didnt look like any of what i have

> mentioned before. I had a best friend who outweighted

> me by over one hundred lbs, and she had guys hitting

> on her. So it had to be soemthing else. it had to be

> ATTITUDE. So i got attitude,a nd i got hope, and i

> went looking. There had to be a man out there for me.

> Adn i found one. He loved me. He loved ME just the way

> that i was, fat and chunky. he thoguth i was

> beautiful. I had made it. i was a bride, a wife, a

> mother at last of three beautiful kids.

> And then.. He took it all away. He met someone at

> work, who was younger, stupider, and now hes with her,

> and two months after he moved out, shes pregnant. so

> where do i go from here? I make good choices for

> myself. I do good things. I take care of my kids, I

> take care of myself, i do things that will take us

> ahead in ways he never wanted to do. I celebrate my

> curves here, and here, and here, all of them. I see a

> woman who is going ahead and doing good things,

> because whether or not there is a man out there for me

> (and believe you me, ive already met some of them) I

> am fine.. just the way i am.

> I would say that if you dont love you, nobody's going

> to. I didnt love me. When i started loveing me, i

> started getting soem attention. I walked down the

> street like i was goddess walking, I had attitude, and

> when i started putting a high price on me, what i was

> worth. guess what.. so did they. its all attitude.

> Then you start doing good things for yourself, and

> celebrate every good thing you do. you build yourself

> up without tearing y ourself down, until you are that

> person that you really want to be.

> So.. who do you want to be?

> Me, i want a college degree. i want a job in something

> that i love. im going back to college, im getting that

> degree and im going to be a librarian. Iwill be doing

> something that i love, taking care of myself and my

> kids.

> i want to be healthy, so i am exercising, losing

> weight so that my diabetes dissipates as much as

> possible.

> I want a house, so i am going to college, to get the

> degree to get a job to get waht i want.

>

> The big questions you ahve to ask is. .what do you

> want?What makes you happy? What is best for YOU? When

> you are doing all those things, you love yourself. If

> you are stuck in a job you hate, you are going to hate

> yourself for having to go there every day. When you

> hate your surroundings, ditto. If your life is

> overwhelmingly negative, you are going to be that way

> also.

> whether you are fat or not. That is just one more

> problem that you have to deal with.

> Okay, i will say just one more thing. When i started

> losing weight, it affected me. I began to get more

> confident, feeling that if i can do that, i can do

> anything. I met a goal, and then anotehr goal, and i

> began to feel that if THAT could be dealt with in

> small pieces, maybe everything else could too. Maybe

> that is a key for you also, maybe not. But i dont look

> at myself and say " oh you fat pig, look at you, you

> ate a brownie " . I say, " oh, good for you, you ate your

> veggies today and drank your water, and had a really

> good brownie. NOT three of them, A brownie. it was

> only a freakin' brownie!! " and if i had three

> brownies, in a pms fit or whatever (and that is,

> happily, not happening much at all anymore) I can say,

> again, positively-- " Okay, y ou had a bad day.

> Tomorrow will be better. But you ate your veggies, you

> drank y our water, and you walked some extra today to

> try and do better, so good for y ou!! " The point is,

> to not shy away from the bad things, but not to wallow

> in them either. Okay, i will be quiet NOW.

> christi

>

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Guest guest

Christi,

Really great post here. Thank you.

175/157.8/130

Re: Re: TORY & OTHERS

> When i was growing up, I knew what was beautiful.

> Women in the gorgeous paintings tht I loved were

> beautiful. The naked women in the magazines lying

> underneath my father's bed, they were beautiful.

> Barbie, Now, she was beautiful. I thought that when i

> grew up, I would be beautiful. And then i sprouted

> breasts, and then i was done with that, and I looked

> NOTHING like any of those women. I was So. Not.

> Beautiful. I didnt look like them, i didnt get to

> dress like them, i was some hideous little troglydyte.

> And I loathed myself, I felt completely cheated. This

> went on for YEARS.

> I dont know when i started changing. Part of it was

> when i realized that my grandma and grandad were

> together for over 50 years and he loved her and she

> him, and she didnt look like any of what i have

> mentioned before. I had a best friend who outweighted

> me by over one hundred lbs, and she had guys hitting

> on her. So it had to be soemthing else. it had to be

> ATTITUDE. So i got attitude,a nd i got hope, and i

> went looking. There had to be a man out there for me.

> Adn i found one. He loved me. He loved ME just the way

> that i was, fat and chunky. he thoguth i was

> beautiful. I had made it. i was a bride, a wife, a

> mother at last of three beautiful kids.

> And then.. He took it all away. He met someone at

> work, who was younger, stupider, and now hes with her,

> and two months after he moved out, shes pregnant. so

> where do i go from here? I make good choices for

> myself. I do good things. I take care of my kids, I

> take care of myself, i do things that will take us

> ahead in ways he never wanted to do. I celebrate my

> curves here, and here, and here, all of them. I see a

> woman who is going ahead and doing good things,

> because whether or not there is a man out there for me

> (and believe you me, ive already met some of them) I

> am fine.. just the way i am.

> I would say that if you dont love you, nobody's going

> to. I didnt love me. When i started loveing me, i

> started getting soem attention. I walked down the

> street like i was goddess walking, I had attitude, and

> when i started putting a high price on me, what i was

> worth. guess what.. so did they. its all attitude.

> Then you start doing good things for yourself, and

> celebrate every good thing you do. you build yourself

> up without tearing y ourself down, until you are that

> person that you really want to be.

> So.. who do you want to be?

> Me, i want a college degree. i want a job in something

> that i love. im going back to college, im getting that

> degree and im going to be a librarian. Iwill be doing

> something that i love, taking care of myself and my

> kids.

> i want to be healthy, so i am exercising, losing

> weight so that my diabetes dissipates as much as

> possible.

> I want a house, so i am going to college, to get the

> degree to get a job to get waht i want.

>

> The big questions you ahve to ask is. .what do you

> want?What makes you happy? What is best for YOU? When

> you are doing all those things, you love yourself. If

> you are stuck in a job you hate, you are going to hate

> yourself for having to go there every day. When you

> hate your surroundings, ditto. If your life is

> overwhelmingly negative, you are going to be that way

> also.

> whether you are fat or not. That is just one more

> problem that you have to deal with.

> Okay, i will say just one more thing. When i started

> losing weight, it affected me. I began to get more

> confident, feeling that if i can do that, i can do

> anything. I met a goal, and then anotehr goal, and i

> began to feel that if THAT could be dealt with in

> small pieces, maybe everything else could too. Maybe

> that is a key for you also, maybe not. But i dont look

> at myself and say " oh you fat pig, look at you, you

> ate a brownie " . I say, " oh, good for you, you ate your

> veggies today and drank your water, and had a really

> good brownie. NOT three of them, A brownie. it was

> only a freakin' brownie!! " and if i had three

> brownies, in a pms fit or whatever (and that is,

> happily, not happening much at all anymore) I can say,

> again, positively-- " Okay, y ou had a bad day.

> Tomorrow will be better. But you ate your veggies, you

> drank y our water, and you walked some extra today to

> try and do better, so good for y ou!! " The point is,

> to not shy away from the bad things, but not to wallow

> in them either. Okay, i will be quiet NOW.

> christi

>

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