postnatal depression

[Guest guest]

>An item on the news here this evening mentioned how a study had

>revealed that mothers who lack sleep are more likely to suffer from

>postnatal depression. At least I think that's what it said but Steffi

>wouldn't be quiet whilst it was on.

>

>I can't find any news site which covers this but it may well come out

>in the UK news today so keep an eye out and I have no idea where the

>research was done but I think it was Australian.

>

>It mentioned minimising night feeding and teaching babies to sleep on

>their own without use of dummy or comfort from mum. The only mother

>featured had five children and said she didn't believe in controlled

>crying and babies only cry because they want something.

>

>I'll let you have more when I find it.

>

>--

>Sue

I wonder if it is postnatal depression or sleep deprivation? I also

think that society's expectation that babies will sleep through the

night from a few month's old and the expectation that parents will be

able to function accordingly might have something to do with it.

Could also be that there is something different about the babies that

they don't sleep through the night and that could also have an impact

on the development of PND.

I recall that an ME contact of mine (in Australia) thought she had

developed PND, went to the GP who said that she simply needed more

physical help. When she had more physical help, problem disappeared...

--

jennifer@...

Vaudin

[Guest guest]

Vaudin wrote :

>I wonder if it is postnatal depression or sleep

>deprivation?

[...]

> When she had more physical help, problem

>disappeared...

I think that sleep deprivation made my PND worse, as did

the long, lonely days when my mom had gone home and my DH

back to work and I still didn’t know anyone around here to

even talk to, never mind to help out.

Phyllis

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Doesn't sleep deprivation make everything worse?

I don't know anyone who functions well after a bad night's sleep yet alone

prolonged sleep problems.

I think also people's ideas of when a baby will sleep for long periods

doesn't often match reality which causes you to get down about it.

Mc

SAHM 6, Olivia 3, 2, 1

[Guest guest]

Doesn't sleep deprivation make everything worse?

I don't know anyone who functions well after a bad night's sleep yet alone

prolonged sleep problems.

I think also people's ideas of when a baby will sleep for long periods

doesn't often match reality which causes you to get down about it.

Mc

SAHM 6, Olivia 3, 2, 1

[Guest guest]

Doesn't sleep deprivation make everything worse?

I don't know anyone who functions well after a bad night's sleep yet alone

prolonged sleep problems.

I think also people's ideas of when a baby will sleep for long periods

doesn't often match reality which causes you to get down about it.

Mc

SAHM 6, Olivia 3, 2, 1

[Guest guest]

> I think that sleep deprivation made my PND worse, as did

> the long, lonely days when my mom had gone home and my DH

> back to work and I still didnt know anyone around here to

> even talk to, never mind to help out.

Motherhood is a bit lonely. Even if you have met a few people, they are

always doing something else at the times you could do with the company most.

Oh well life goes on and on

[Guest guest]

Don't worry, , it's different strokes for different folks and all

that - to be honest, I'm only just beginning to get involved in my branch

here, although I was a regular attender at coffee mornings etc. at my old

branch 11ish years ago!

Also, when you're suffering from any kind of depression it's really

difficult to guage when you 'click' with people or don't: I bet you'll find

that a lot more of your fellow branch members feel clicked with you than you

do with them - if you see what I mean. I used to find that depression

clouded my judgement about absolutely everything, to the extent that I would

find it very difficult to trust new relationships and would only be

comfortable in old, pre-depression relationships where I was reasonably sure

of my ground!

Vicki

>So nothing much is happening in our area.

> I also suspect that you need to " click " with others and if this doesn't

> happen, things just fizzle out, well that is what is happening here.

> I only renewed my membership last year because of this list, but again am

> thinking of not doing so this year.

[Guest guest]

Don't worry, , it's different strokes for different folks and all

that - to be honest, I'm only just beginning to get involved in my branch

here, although I was a regular attender at coffee mornings etc. at my old

branch 11ish years ago!

Also, when you're suffering from any kind of depression it's really

difficult to guage when you 'click' with people or don't: I bet you'll find

that a lot more of your fellow branch members feel clicked with you than you

do with them - if you see what I mean. I used to find that depression

clouded my judgement about absolutely everything, to the extent that I would

find it very difficult to trust new relationships and would only be

comfortable in old, pre-depression relationships where I was reasonably sure

of my ground!

Vicki

>So nothing much is happening in our area.

> I also suspect that you need to " click " with others and if this doesn't

> happen, things just fizzle out, well that is what is happening here.

> I only renewed my membership last year because of this list, but again am

> thinking of not doing so this year.

[Guest guest]

Don't worry, , it's different strokes for different folks and all

that - to be honest, I'm only just beginning to get involved in my branch

here, although I was a regular attender at coffee mornings etc. at my old

branch 11ish years ago!

Also, when you're suffering from any kind of depression it's really

difficult to guage when you 'click' with people or don't: I bet you'll find

that a lot more of your fellow branch members feel clicked with you than you

do with them - if you see what I mean. I used to find that depression

clouded my judgement about absolutely everything, to the extent that I would

find it very difficult to trust new relationships and would only be

comfortable in old, pre-depression relationships where I was reasonably sure

of my ground!

Vicki

>So nothing much is happening in our area.

> I also suspect that you need to " click " with others and if this doesn't

> happen, things just fizzle out, well that is what is happening here.

> I only renewed my membership last year because of this list, but again am

> thinking of not doing so this year.

[Guest guest]

Have you tried the Meet-A-Mum association, ? They are groups for

mums to get together, originally started by Esther Rantzen, I think.

I don't have any contact details but I'm sure someone on this list

will!

Lesley

------------

From: & -Jane

I think you have to be incredibly lucky with the NCT branch you are

in, to

do as Cerys said as I have found quite the opposite here (Sutton,

Epsom and

District). New mums was OK until most went back to work and as I

didn't the

number of lonely days grew.

[Guest guest]

Have you tried the Meet-A-Mum association, ? They are groups for

mums to get together, originally started by Esther Rantzen, I think.

I don't have any contact details but I'm sure someone on this list

will!

Lesley

------------

From: & -Jane

I think you have to be incredibly lucky with the NCT branch you are

in, to

do as Cerys said as I have found quite the opposite here (Sutton,

Epsom and

District). New mums was OK until most went back to work and as I

didn't the

number of lonely days grew.

[Guest guest]

Have you tried the Meet-A-Mum association, ? They are groups for

mums to get together, originally started by Esther Rantzen, I think.

I don't have any contact details but I'm sure someone on this list

will!

Lesley

------------

From: & -Jane

I think you have to be incredibly lucky with the NCT branch you are

in, to

do as Cerys said as I have found quite the opposite here (Sutton,

Epsom and

District). New mums was OK until most went back to work and as I

didn't the

number of lonely days grew.

[Guest guest]

i totally agree with what Vicki said.

You should be honest about things, not everyone has the same

experiences of everything in life, mores the pity sometimes!

Take care see you in great mothers, you won't leave us though will

you!

Love

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/the-soapy-group

[Guest guest]

, of course you should be chatting here - this *is* another form of the

NCT and just as valid as branches. The NCT's great strength is that it is

run by volunteers because if it wasn't it would never reach the number of

parents that it does but it is also it's great weakness. Branches differ so

much and where one may be very welcoming another may not. I think perhaps

the London branches even more than others are not as supportive of SAHM's

because many of their members do return to work.

This can make it *very* hard for mums who do stay at home as there is

effectively no NCT support network for them. but then other branches have

complaints that they provide nothing for mums who choose to return to paid

work, so you just can't win.

- stay with the NCT and stay with the list!!!!

Cerys

-----Original Message-----

From:-Jane

I think you have to be incredibly lucky with the NCT branch you are in, to

do as Cerys said as I have found quite the opposite here (Sutton, Epsom and

District). New mums was OK until most went back to work and as I didn't the

number of lonely days grew.

I was going to give the CO role a go but was ill and PND reappeared, HV told

me to just " participate " for a while and I guess she was right, I was trying

to help too much. So nothing much is happening in our area.

I also suspect that you need to " click " with others and if this doesn't

happen, things just fizzle out, well that is what is happening here.

I only renewed my membership last year because of this list, but again am

thinking of not doing so this year.

I'm sorry but I am not a very good advert for the NCT, and wonder whether I

should be chatting here or not.

Sorry if I have offended anyone by saying how it is here.

[Guest guest]

So nothing much is happening in our area.

> I also suspect that you need to " click " with others and if this

doesn't

> happen, things just fizzle out, well that is what is happening here.

> I only renewed my membership last year because of this list, but

again am

> thinking of not doing so this year.<<

It is hard I know. I was involved in my local NCT group for 8 years

and knew everybody really well. It was a relatively small group and

coffee mornings were so relaxing with everybody knowing everybody.

Two years ago I moved house and joined a much larger group. I found

it extremely hard to start with, there were so many people who all

appeared to know each other and I felt very much on the outskirts. I

stopped going to the main coffee mornings and just went to Bumps and

Babes (ph was 1 at the time). This was much better because there

were less people and many were new too, with young babies. I did this

for about a year before branching out into the main coffee mornings.

It took me a further 6 months to really feel " at home " there. Now I

am fine, have made friends and things are much more relaxed. But it

has taken a while. So maybe give it a bit longer and keep at it -

there may be some new people joining that you could get to know - if

they are " newer " than you it is sometimes easier then.

Lorraine

Mum to 10, Natasha 8, 5, ph 3

[Guest guest]

So nothing much is happening in our area.

> I also suspect that you need to " click " with others and if this

doesn't

> happen, things just fizzle out, well that is what is happening here.

> I only renewed my membership last year because of this list, but

again am

> thinking of not doing so this year.<<

It is hard I know. I was involved in my local NCT group for 8 years

and knew everybody really well. It was a relatively small group and

coffee mornings were so relaxing with everybody knowing everybody.

Two years ago I moved house and joined a much larger group. I found

it extremely hard to start with, there were so many people who all

appeared to know each other and I felt very much on the outskirts. I

stopped going to the main coffee mornings and just went to Bumps and

Babes (ph was 1 at the time). This was much better because there

were less people and many were new too, with young babies. I did this

for about a year before branching out into the main coffee mornings.

It took me a further 6 months to really feel " at home " there. Now I

am fine, have made friends and things are much more relaxed. But it

has taken a while. So maybe give it a bit longer and keep at it -

there may be some new people joining that you could get to know - if

they are " newer " than you it is sometimes easier then.

Lorraine

Mum to 10, Natasha 8, 5, ph 3

[Guest guest]

So nothing much is happening in our area.

> I also suspect that you need to " click " with others and if this

doesn't

> happen, things just fizzle out, well that is what is happening here.

> I only renewed my membership last year because of this list, but

again am

> thinking of not doing so this year.<<

It is hard I know. I was involved in my local NCT group for 8 years

and knew everybody really well. It was a relatively small group and

coffee mornings were so relaxing with everybody knowing everybody.

Two years ago I moved house and joined a much larger group. I found

it extremely hard to start with, there were so many people who all

appeared to know each other and I felt very much on the outskirts. I

stopped going to the main coffee mornings and just went to Bumps and

Babes (ph was 1 at the time). This was much better because there

were less people and many were new too, with young babies. I did this

for about a year before branching out into the main coffee mornings.

It took me a further 6 months to really feel " at home " there. Now I

am fine, have made friends and things are much more relaxed. But it

has taken a while. So maybe give it a bit longer and keep at it -

there may be some new people joining that you could get to know - if

they are " newer " than you it is sometimes easier then.

Lorraine

Mum to 10, Natasha 8, 5, ph 3

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lorraine,

But the problem here is that there aren't any established coffee

mornings and to sort something out with new people who you don't know and

probably wish to get to know first before hosting is VERY difficult.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lorraine,

But the problem here is that there aren't any established coffee

mornings and to sort something out with new people who you don't know and

probably wish to get to know first before hosting is VERY difficult.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lorraine,

But the problem here is that there aren't any established coffee

mornings and to sort something out with new people who you don't know and

probably wish to get to know first before hosting is VERY difficult.

[Guest guest]

> does your branch not have a diary in which coffee mornings are

> published? We have appx 6 areas each of which have a coffee once a

> week... anyone can go to any area though and people take it in turns

> to host.

Yes it does - in the newsletter

We have at least 9 areas, but the branch is spread over a VERY large area

There is nothing in our area. A new member from another area has complained

of the cleekyness and not being rung back with dates etc.

> Offer to host one, get the date in the diary, minimal effort on your

> part and you could get something started, even if only one person

> comes along to begin with.

A friend has done 3 now, when someone else did a week noone came. So it is a

dead duck now. The only time I arranged to host one recently I had flu and

had to cancel.

As to going to other areas, some are just too far away and the only ones I

have rung about seem to have been cancelled. Typical.

I don't really think the NCT is a good place to meet new people after all

(except this list of course)

I obviously need more that I am able to give so it just doesn't work

Never mind - thanks for trying

[Guest guest]

,

I found this in my branch for a long time, and to be honest until I

became and area rep, I hadn't met anyone at all. Once that happened I

then joined the committee and now I know everyone and see someone at

least every couple of days, even if it's just bumping into them at the

shops.

Joining a committee does mean sparing a bit of time for meetings etc,

but they are usually in the evening and to be honest made me realise

there was more to me and life than just the kids! You are important

too and the NCT is there to support parents as well as the children.

Maybe if you feel you could manage a floating committee members role,

getting more involved might be just what you need. it also takes you

mind off of feeling so low, Distraction therapy!

HTH

Kirsten

>I don't really think the NCT is a good place to meet new people after

all

>(except this list of course)

>I obviously need more that I am able to give so it just doesn't work

>

>Never mind - thanks for trying

>

>

>

>

>

>*** NCT enquiry line - 0 ***

>

>Live chat http://www.yahoogroups.com/chat/nct-coffee

>

>Have you found out about all the other groups for the NCT online?

>

>

[Guest guest]

I did go to one committee meeting, but following ones were held on Tuesday

evenings, and quite frankly my badminton night is far more fun than the NCT.

Thanks for the suggestion but definitely no thanks not for me

Must reiterate that my HV has said not to get too involved in helping as I

need to just participate for the foreseeable future, as helping stresses me

out far too much and sparks off the PND. I must say she is right and I am

feeling better for saying NO!

Thanks again

> I found this in my branch for a long time, and to be honest until I

> became and area rep, I hadn't met anyone at all. Once that happened I

> then joined the committee ...................

[Guest guest]

I did go to one committee meeting, but following ones were held on Tuesday

evenings, and quite frankly my badminton night is far more fun than the NCT.

Thanks for the suggestion but definitely no thanks not for me

Must reiterate that my HV has said not to get too involved in helping as I

need to just participate for the foreseeable future, as helping stresses me

out far too much and sparks off the PND. I must say she is right and I am

feeling better for saying NO!

Thanks again

> I found this in my branch for a long time, and to be honest until I

> became and area rep, I hadn't met anyone at all. Once that happened I

> then joined the committee ...................

[Guest guest]

I did go to one committee meeting, but following ones were held on Tuesday

evenings, and quite frankly my badminton night is far more fun than the NCT.

Thanks for the suggestion but definitely no thanks not for me

Must reiterate that my HV has said not to get too involved in helping as I

need to just participate for the foreseeable future, as helping stresses me

out far too much and sparks off the PND. I must say she is right and I am

feeling better for saying NO!

Thanks again

> I found this in my branch for a long time, and to be honest until I

> became and area rep, I hadn't met anyone at all. Once that happened I

> then joined the committee ...................