Re: potty training and being over 3 (very long sorry)

[Guest guest]

> hope someone out there has some wisdom for me ;o)..

Hi Lonnie,

You know your daughter the best - so why not follow your own instincts?

Those who say you 'should' be potty training don`t have to mop up

afterwards do they!

If I was doing it again today I would leave till the last poss moment -

or at least until they were pulling off the nappy themselves or having

totally dry nappies!

jm2p

Best wishes

Barbara

[Guest guest]

> I agree with you, Sue. Children vary so much in everything they do.

> Some children walk at 8 months, some not until 20mths;

20 mnths! I wish! DD3(now 27 yrs old and mum to 4 kids) didn't walk

till she was 2 yrs 3 months!!! She stood up for the first time at 21

months, everyone thought there was a real problem but there wasn't.

She went to *playgroup* still crawling!!!! She had an upright crawl;

just on her knees, no hands, I can't tell you how many pairs of

dungarees she went through, and how thick we patched them!

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

This is my experience:

DS1 potty trained at 3 years and 4 months. It was too soon. Whenever

anything went wrong in his life he had accidents, this lasted up to

and including reception class at school. Has had occasional problems

since.

DS2 refused to wear nappies at 2years and 11 months. Right time.

Caught chicken pox a week later, no accidents. Became a big brother

three weeks later, no accidents.

DS3 was persuaded out of nappies at 3 years and three months. Right

time, no problems. DS3 was already in playgroup when we potty trained

him (I say we, but DH took a week off work and really did it) and we

did have " we don't take children til they are out of nappies " until I

pointed out that they had a Downs syndrome child in nappies and by

refusing to take DS3 they were discrimationg against him for not

being Downs...

My MIL (who I didn't get on with) did make comments, especially as my

SIL (who's 3 children are about 6 younger than my three) potty

trained them much earlier. However my HV suggested I ask about DH's

potty training. Apparently he came out of nappies at 17 months and

was reliable at 3.5, so I told MIL I didn't want all that unnecessary

washing.

I think lots of children come out of nappies when they are older than

three but, like bedwetting, people just don't talk about it. Partly

because of the fashion of early potty trainig when we were little and

partly because of the competitive parenting thing.

Jan

[Guest guest]

This is my experience:

DS1 potty trained at 3 years and 4 months. It was too soon. Whenever

anything went wrong in his life he had accidents, this lasted up to

and including reception class at school. Has had occasional problems

since.

DS2 refused to wear nappies at 2years and 11 months. Right time.

Caught chicken pox a week later, no accidents. Became a big brother

three weeks later, no accidents.

DS3 was persuaded out of nappies at 3 years and three months. Right

time, no problems. DS3 was already in playgroup when we potty trained

him (I say we, but DH took a week off work and really did it) and we

did have " we don't take children til they are out of nappies " until I

pointed out that they had a Downs syndrome child in nappies and by

refusing to take DS3 they were discrimationg against him for not

being Downs...

My MIL (who I didn't get on with) did make comments, especially as my

SIL (who's 3 children are about 6 younger than my three) potty

trained them much earlier. However my HV suggested I ask about DH's

potty training. Apparently he came out of nappies at 17 months and

was reliable at 3.5, so I told MIL I didn't want all that unnecessary

washing.

I think lots of children come out of nappies when they are older than

three but, like bedwetting, people just don't talk about it. Partly

because of the fashion of early potty trainig when we were little and

partly because of the competitive parenting thing.

Jan

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 27/05/01 12:07:41 GMT Daylight Time,

nct-coffee writes:

> > hope someone out there has some wisdom for me ;o)..

>

Each of my children have been different when it comes to potty training.

With my first DS I gave in to pressure (fed up of " is he still in nappies

comments " ). Looking back it was the wrong time, he wasn't ready, it took

months and I had to carry bags full of clothes with me everywhere I went. He

was about 2.5 but he didn't come out of nappies at night until he was over

4.5. He slept like the dead at night and I couldn't see the point of washing

tons of bedlinen although I was having difficulty getting the terry nappy

round him by then. (I also had a 3yr old and a 1 yr old). When he did start

when his nappies were consistently dry at night it only took a week or so.

DD1 was only 18mnths when she started herself refusing to wear nappies. I

didn't see the point of starting training then as I was due to have DD2 a few

mnths later and everyone told me that she would regress to be like the new

baby. However she knew her own mind and insisted on wearing knickers and it

was winter and she had an all in one snowsuit on. She proved to have

excellent bladder control and when she said she needed a wee there was still

time to get her undone and to the toilet. I didn't really have to do anything.

DD2 was about 2yrs 4 mnths and I supposed she copied the others a lot but I

did do a lot of letting her run around in the house with very little on until

she got the connection. She was more of a need a wee NOW kind of girl. She

did have problems with jealousy when DD3 was about 4-6 mnths old (she was

just turned 3 by then) and she used to need to go to the toilet everytime I

started playing with the baby (she had been alright while the baby just ate

and slept it was when she needed activity that she played up) .

DD3 again did it herself. Had bad chicken pox on top of her already bad

exczema and couldn't sleep with anything on including a nappy. She slept with

us during this time and everytime she murmured I put cream on her. She

started asking to gor for a wee during the night which then transferred to

the daytime I didn't expect it to last once she was back in her own bed but

it did.

DD4 was a late starter as she was still not reliable when she was due to

start at pre-school. She was the first of mine to go to pre-school before

nursery. And I did try to push her as she was due to start in Sep when she

would have been 2yr 8mnths. So I tried during the summer months to potty

train and again it took a long time, lots of changes of clothes and lots of

hassle. When she did start in the Sep it was wearing trainer pants but she

still had accidents. I think it was xmas before she was reliable enough to

wear pants only all the time. And it was only this Jan as she turned 4 before

she was reliable at night.

So I think you have to wait for them to be ready and treat each child

differently.

Donna

Mum to (17)

Kimberley(16), Kayleigh(14),

(11), Kara (4) [homebirth at last]

[Guest guest]

I was about the same age when I started walking as my younger brother

(by 17 months) beat me to it!!

Francesca

Re: potty training and being over 3 (very long

sorry)

>

> > I agree with you, Sue. Children vary so much in everything they

do.

> > Some children walk at 8 months, some not until 20mths;

>

> 20 mnths! I wish! DD3(now 27 yrs old and mum to 4 kids) didn't walk

> till she was 2 yrs 3 months!!! She stood up for the first time at 21

> months, everyone thought there was a real problem but there wasn't.

> She went to *playgroup* still crawling!!!! She had an upright

crawl;

> just on her knees, no hands, I can't tell you how many pairs of

> dungarees she went through, and how thick we patched them!

>

> Ruthie

>

>

>

>

> *** NCT enquiry line - 0 ***

>

> Live chat http://www.yahoogroups.com/chat/nct-coffee

>

> Have you found out about all the other groups for the NCT online?

>

>

[Guest guest]

> > I certainly wouldn't potty train any child before the age of 2,

> waste of time IMO.

>

> Steffi wouldn't agree with you - she was dry before 2 and night dry

at

> 25mo. I was gobsmacked - it was all her initiative - she didn't

want

> nappies on and it didn't take long to figure out she knew what she

was

> doing. Even so, it was a friend that persuaded me to take her out

of

> them - I was too scared before she was 2yo.<<

I guess this just reinforces the " every child is different " fact. My

DD was trained day and night at 21 mths, but this was all down to her

(she had chicken pox so I left the nappy off and she just used the

potty herself). My DS1 was 2 3/4 and I admit that I went with the

pressure of relatives and friends (plus the fact that he was starting

playgroup the next month) and I trained him but although he had shown

no signs of being ready, it actually only took me a couple of weeks.

Like everything else in childcare you should do what is right for you

and your child - you know her best. I still feel angry that I did bow

to pressure with my son, although it did turn out fine, but if I had

my time again I would have left him longer.

Lorraine

Mum to 10, Natasha 8, 5, ph 3

[Guest guest]

> Steffi wouldn't agree with you - she was dry before 2 and night dry at

> 25mo.

Coming in late here but absolutely have to agree Sue. My two were completely

different - dd1 not reliably dry until about the age of eight, dd2 dry

before 2!

I remember we had dd2's second birthday at scout camp and so I was

determined to keep her in nappies while we slept in sleeping bags. I used to

put the same nappy on her three nights in a row and then put it on dd1 to

get it used before throwing it away (disposables for camp!)

DD2 was ready to come out of nappies at night sooner than dd1 and I somehow

felt it unfair so they came out on the same night!!! eek - in retrospect all

I did was create lots of washing from dd1, whereas dd2 has only ever wet the

bed once - when much older and ill at the time.

They are all different...

Sue

[Guest guest]

> Steffi wouldn't agree with you - she was dry before 2 and night dry at

> 25mo.

Coming in late here but absolutely have to agree Sue. My two were completely

different - dd1 not reliably dry until about the age of eight, dd2 dry

before 2!

I remember we had dd2's second birthday at scout camp and so I was

determined to keep her in nappies while we slept in sleeping bags. I used to

put the same nappy on her three nights in a row and then put it on dd1 to

get it used before throwing it away (disposables for camp!)

DD2 was ready to come out of nappies at night sooner than dd1 and I somehow

felt it unfair so they came out on the same night!!! eek - in retrospect all

I did was create lots of washing from dd1, whereas dd2 has only ever wet the

bed once - when much older and ill at the time.

They are all different...

Sue

[Guest guest]

In article , Vaudin

jennifer@...> writes

>He has become a bit of a toilet tourist though and wants to try out

>every toilet he comes across.

Don't they all do that, though! DD1 has been trained for over a year

now, but still often insists that she needs to go when I am fairly sure

it's just that she wishes to inspect the facilities. She is particularly

prone to doing this in our local Pizza Express, where the toilets are

downstairs, reached by a spiral staircase - I'm convinced it's just

because she likes going up and down the stairs.

Cath

[Guest guest]

In article , Vaudin

jennifer@...> writes

>He has become a bit of a toilet tourist though and wants to try out

>every toilet he comes across.

Don't they all do that, though! DD1 has been trained for over a year

now, but still often insists that she needs to go when I am fairly sure

it's just that she wishes to inspect the facilities. She is particularly

prone to doing this in our local Pizza Express, where the toilets are

downstairs, reached by a spiral staircase - I'm convinced it's just

because she likes going up and down the stairs.

Cath