Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 I have debated about whether posting this or not but I am so both frustrated and in humor over this situation I decided that I will post it. I will first say that I am not trying to start a debate over child rearing policies or anything but just wanted to share a little about the personality of my little " princess " . Yesterday she went back to her medical PT for the first time in about a month. Last week we needed a doctor's order and before we were just so busy with all the pre-reimplant appointments and keeping her healthy we just never made it. Because Annika's balance is so much better it was really neat to see how she was going to do. Well, for the first time in a long time Annika was able to walk into the office from our vehichle all on her own(with the walker). She didn't complain the whole time and was racing with me on the way in. I can say that it is a fair distance but not managable. So into the session she went and she had her moments but really had a good session. She wanted to be carried out of the session. So I have an option. Do I carry her, the backpack, the walker, my purse or do we wait her out. I told her that I would carry her out to the waiting area to get her coat but then she would need to walk. She understood and was fine once I put her down in the walker and put her coat on. She walked out of the office and made it about 10 feet down the hallway. She then proceeded to start to pretend to collapse on the floor and throw one of her temper tantrums. Believe me as her mother I can really tell whether she is too tired to walk or is she just wanting to control mom and have her way. This was definitely one of those times that physically she could do what I wanted her to do so I had to just let her thrown her tantrum. Well, true to Annika's form this was a good one. It was lasting about 5-10 minutes. She wasn't screaming the whole time. She would stop look around if anyone was paying her attention and then start again. Or she would check if I was coming back to help her. Well, then this couple came out of the office along with one of the secrataries. They were convinced that Annika was hurt and no one was caring for her. I could understand that. I was a few feet beyond them because if I stand near her she will crawl over to me and start things again. I told them that she was just fine she was just having a little fit(believe me there were many other people who had walked by this whole scenario with comments like-she's three right?, she is strong willed right?, she's stubborn?, only to be a child again and think we can just cry to get our way. " Most people understood completely what was happening. Considering this is one of the primary children's therapy centers outside of the metro area this cannot be on uncommon occurence in this place. The secretary asked me if she needed help up at all and I told her no she could get up on her own(if I thought she couldn't I would be there, for pete's sake I am her mom and I would help her to the enth degree if I could!!!). Well, then the secretary went back into the office and then the couple basically started to accuse me of child abuse. One comment was " she has a walker for pete's sake she is disabled!!!! " Well, I wanted to say " no duh " . We exchanged a few other words and I just didn't know whatelse to say. They walked away and said that I could explain it to the police when they showed up. She was going or had called(I don't know which she said) 911. Right after the couple walked away, Annika stood up in her walker with a smile on her face and walked the whole way out to the van with a very pleasant atttitude. Like the past 5 minutes never happened. This is my child. Once she knows we won't give in she is okay let's go then. And off she goes like it never happened. I just couldn't believe this. In the past 3 years of Annika's life, I have never had to defend anything that we have done with her. I mean I never let my boys get away with something like this but I am supposed to let her get away with this because she is disabled? I know she needs more help than the boys did and believe me she gets it but when it comes to the battle of wills as her parent I have to make sure that she understands that she can't get away with everything and sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. Just wanted to share. I don't know why Annika decided to get up after this exchange. I know that she heard everything that was said and probably understood some of it. But after it was all said and done I didn't know whether to scream, cry or laugh!!! Mom of 4 Marcus 15 13 Jon 11 Annika 3 Bilaterally implant 3/1/04 Hookup 3/25/04 re-implanted 10/28/05-left spastic diaplegic CP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 I know where you are coming from. I had similar incedents with my son now 13. A classmate of his actually had police and family services investigate them after a similar incident. Their son was also a transplant patient and was being seen by his transplant team weekly???, the parents had a few nervous laughs about it when telling me but I'm sure it was scary. I think people need to think before making comments like that as it may cause more frequent tantrums. We started walking away from him (around the corner) and this seemed to limit te tantrumsas he was't getting the attention he wanted. Beth > > I have debated about whether posting this or not but I am so both frustrated and in humor over this situation I decided that I will post it. I will first say that I am not trying to start a debate over child rearing policies or anything but just wanted to share a little about the personality of my little " princess " . > > Yesterday she went back to her medical PT for the first time in about a month. Last week we needed a doctor's order and before we were just so busy with all the pre-reimplant appointments and keeping her healthy we just never made it. Because Annika's balance is so much better it was really neat to see how she was going to do. Well, for the first time in a long time Annika was able to walk into the office from our vehichle all on her own(with the walker). She didn't complain the whole time and was racing with me on the way in. I can say that it is a fair distance but not managable. > > So into the session she went and she had her moments but really had a good session. She wanted to be carried out of the session. So I have an option. Do I carry her, the backpack, the walker, my purse or do we wait her out. I told her that I would carry her out to the waiting area to get her coat but then she would need to walk. She understood and was fine once I put her down in the walker and put her coat on. She walked out of the office and made it about 10 feet down the hallway. She then proceeded to start to pretend to collapse on the floor and throw one of her temper tantrums. > > Believe me as her mother I can really tell whether she is too tired to walk or is she just wanting to control mom and have her way. This was definitely one of those times that physically she could do what I wanted her to do so I had to just let her thrown her tantrum. Well, true to Annika's form this was a good one. It was lasting about 5-10 minutes. She wasn't screaming the whole time. She would stop look around if anyone was paying her attention and then start again. Or she would check if I was coming back to help her. > > Well, then this couple came out of the office along with one of the secrataries. They were convinced that Annika was hurt and no one was caring for her. I could understand that. I was a few feet beyond them because if I stand near her she will crawl over to me and start things again. I told them that she was just fine she was just having a little fit(believe me there were many other people who had walked by this whole scenario with comments like-she's three right?, she is strong willed right?, she's stubborn?, only to be a child again and think we can just cry to get our way. " Most people understood completely what was happening. Considering this is one of the primary children's therapy centers outside of the metro area this cannot be on uncommon occurence in this place. The secretary asked me if she needed help up at all and I told her no she could get up on her own(if I thought she couldn't I would be there, for pete's sake I am her mom and I would help her to the enth degree if I could!!!). Well, then the secretary went back into the office and then the couple basically started to accuse me of child abuse. One comment was " she has a walker for pete's sake she is disabled!!!! " Well, I wanted to say " no duh " . We exchanged a few other words and I just didn't know whatelse to say. They walked away and said that I could explain it to the police when they showed up. She was going or had called(I don't know which she said) 911. > > Right after the couple walked away, Annika stood up in her walker with a smile on her face and walked the whole way out to the van with a very pleasant atttitude. Like the past 5 minutes never happened. This is my child. Once she knows we won't give in she is okay let's go then. And off she goes like it never happened. > > I just couldn't believe this. In the past 3 years of Annika's life, I have never had to defend anything that we have done with her. I mean I never let my boys get away with something like this but I am supposed to let her get away with this because she is disabled? I know she needs more help than the boys did and believe me she gets it but when it comes to the battle of wills as her parent I have to make sure that she understands that she can't get away with everything and sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. > > Just wanted to share. I don't know why Annika decided to get up after this exchange. I know that she heard everything that was said and probably understood some of it. But after it was all said and done I didn't know whether to scream, cry or laugh!!! > > > Mom of 4 > Marcus 15 > 13 > Jon 11 > Annika 3 > Bilaterally implant 3/1/04 > Hookup 3/25/04 > re-implanted 10/28/05-left > spastic diaplegic CP > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 Oh my gosh, - hugs to you! Barbara Wanha wrote: > I have debated about whether posting this or not but I am so both > frustrated and in humor over this situation I decided that I will post > it. I will first say that I am not trying to start a debate over > child rearing policies or anything but just wanted to share a little > about the personality of my little " princess " . > > Yesterday she went back to her medical PT for the first time in about > a month. Last week we needed a doctor's order and before we were just > so busy with all the pre-reimplant appointments and keeping her > healthy we just never made it. Because Annika's balance is so much > better it was really neat to see how she was going to do. Well, for > the first time in a long time Annika was able to walk into the office > from our vehichle all on her own(with the walker). She didn't > complain the whole time and was racing with me on the way in. I can > say that it is a fair distance but not managable. > > So into the session she went and she had her moments but really had a > good session. She wanted to be carried out of the session. So I have > an option. Do I carry her, the backpack, the walker, my purse or do > we wait her out. I told her that I would carry her out to the waiting > area to get her coat but then she would need to walk. She understood > and was fine once I put her down in the walker and put her coat on. > She walked out of the office and made it about 10 feet down the > hallway. She then proceeded to start to pretend to collapse on the > floor and throw one of her temper tantrums. > > Believe me as her mother I can really tell whether she is too tired to > walk or is she just wanting to control mom and have her way. This was > definitely one of those times that physically she could do what I > wanted her to do so I had to just let her thrown her tantrum. Well, > true to Annika's form this was a good one. It was lasting about 5-10 > minutes. She wasn't screaming the whole time. She would stop look > around if anyone was paying her attention and then start again. Or > she would check if I was coming back to help her. > > Well, then this couple came out of the office along with one of the > secrataries. They were convinced that Annika was hurt and no one was > caring for her. I could understand that. I was a few feet beyond > them because if I stand near her she will crawl over to me and start > things again. I told them that she was just fine she was just having > a little fit(believe me there were many other people who had walked by > this whole scenario with comments like-she's three right?, she is > strong willed right?, she's stubborn?, only to be a child again and > think we can just cry to get our way. " Most people understood > completely what was happening. Considering this is one of the primary > children's therapy centers outside of the metro area this cannot be on > uncommon occurence in this place. The secretary asked me if she > needed help up at all and I told her no she could get up on her own(if > I thought she couldn't I would be there, for pete's s! ake I am her > mom and I would help her to the enth degree if I could!!!). Well, > then the secretary went back into the office and then the couple > basically started to accuse me of child abuse. One comment was " she > has a walker for pete's sake she is disabled!!!! " Well, I wanted to > say " no duh " . We exchanged a few other words and I just didn't know > whatelse to say. They walked away and said that I could explain it to > the police when they showed up. She was going or had called(I don't > know which she said) 911. > > Right after the couple walked away, Annika stood up in her walker with > a smile on her face and walked the whole way out to the van with a > very pleasant atttitude. Like the past 5 minutes never happened. > This is my child. Once she knows we won't give in she is okay let's > go then. And off she goes like it never happened. > > I just couldn't believe this. In the past 3 years of Annika's life, I > have never had to defend anything that we have done with her. I mean > I never let my boys get away with something like this but I am > supposed to let her get away with this because she is disabled? I > know she needs more help than the boys did and believe me she gets it > but when it comes to the battle of wills as her parent I have to make > sure that she understands that she can't get away with everything and > sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. > > Just wanted to share. I don't know why Annika decided to get up after > this exchange. I know that she heard everything that was said and > probably understood some of it. But after it was all said and done I > didn't know whether to scream, cry or laugh!!! > > > Mom of 4 > Marcus 15 > 13 > Jon 11 > Annika 3 > Bilaterally implant 3/1/04 > Hookup 3/25/04 > re-implanted 10/28/05-left > spastic diaplegic CP > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 Oh my gosh, - hugs to you! Barbara Wanha wrote: > I have debated about whether posting this or not but I am so both > frustrated and in humor over this situation I decided that I will post > it. I will first say that I am not trying to start a debate over > child rearing policies or anything but just wanted to share a little > about the personality of my little " princess " . > > Yesterday she went back to her medical PT for the first time in about > a month. Last week we needed a doctor's order and before we were just > so busy with all the pre-reimplant appointments and keeping her > healthy we just never made it. Because Annika's balance is so much > better it was really neat to see how she was going to do. Well, for > the first time in a long time Annika was able to walk into the office > from our vehichle all on her own(with the walker). She didn't > complain the whole time and was racing with me on the way in. I can > say that it is a fair distance but not managable. > > So into the session she went and she had her moments but really had a > good session. She wanted to be carried out of the session. So I have > an option. Do I carry her, the backpack, the walker, my purse or do > we wait her out. I told her that I would carry her out to the waiting > area to get her coat but then she would need to walk. She understood > and was fine once I put her down in the walker and put her coat on. > She walked out of the office and made it about 10 feet down the > hallway. She then proceeded to start to pretend to collapse on the > floor and throw one of her temper tantrums. > > Believe me as her mother I can really tell whether she is too tired to > walk or is she just wanting to control mom and have her way. This was > definitely one of those times that physically she could do what I > wanted her to do so I had to just let her thrown her tantrum. Well, > true to Annika's form this was a good one. It was lasting about 5-10 > minutes. She wasn't screaming the whole time. She would stop look > around if anyone was paying her attention and then start again. Or > she would check if I was coming back to help her. > > Well, then this couple came out of the office along with one of the > secrataries. They were convinced that Annika was hurt and no one was > caring for her. I could understand that. I was a few feet beyond > them because if I stand near her she will crawl over to me and start > things again. I told them that she was just fine she was just having > a little fit(believe me there were many other people who had walked by > this whole scenario with comments like-she's three right?, she is > strong willed right?, she's stubborn?, only to be a child again and > think we can just cry to get our way. " Most people understood > completely what was happening. Considering this is one of the primary > children's therapy centers outside of the metro area this cannot be on > uncommon occurence in this place. The secretary asked me if she > needed help up at all and I told her no she could get up on her own(if > I thought she couldn't I would be there, for pete's s! ake I am her > mom and I would help her to the enth degree if I could!!!). Well, > then the secretary went back into the office and then the couple > basically started to accuse me of child abuse. One comment was " she > has a walker for pete's sake she is disabled!!!! " Well, I wanted to > say " no duh " . We exchanged a few other words and I just didn't know > whatelse to say. They walked away and said that I could explain it to > the police when they showed up. She was going or had called(I don't > know which she said) 911. > > Right after the couple walked away, Annika stood up in her walker with > a smile on her face and walked the whole way out to the van with a > very pleasant atttitude. Like the past 5 minutes never happened. > This is my child. Once she knows we won't give in she is okay let's > go then. And off she goes like it never happened. > > I just couldn't believe this. In the past 3 years of Annika's life, I > have never had to defend anything that we have done with her. I mean > I never let my boys get away with something like this but I am > supposed to let her get away with this because she is disabled? I > know she needs more help than the boys did and believe me she gets it > but when it comes to the battle of wills as her parent I have to make > sure that she understands that she can't get away with everything and > sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. > > Just wanted to share. I don't know why Annika decided to get up after > this exchange. I know that she heard everything that was said and > probably understood some of it. But after it was all said and done I > didn't know whether to scream, cry or laugh!!! > > > Mom of 4 > Marcus 15 > 13 > Jon 11 > Annika 3 > Bilaterally implant 3/1/04 > Hookup 3/25/04 > re-implanted 10/28/05-left > spastic diaplegic CP > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 Oh my gosh, - hugs to you! Barbara Wanha wrote: > I have debated about whether posting this or not but I am so both > frustrated and in humor over this situation I decided that I will post > it. I will first say that I am not trying to start a debate over > child rearing policies or anything but just wanted to share a little > about the personality of my little " princess " . > > Yesterday she went back to her medical PT for the first time in about > a month. Last week we needed a doctor's order and before we were just > so busy with all the pre-reimplant appointments and keeping her > healthy we just never made it. Because Annika's balance is so much > better it was really neat to see how she was going to do. Well, for > the first time in a long time Annika was able to walk into the office > from our vehichle all on her own(with the walker). She didn't > complain the whole time and was racing with me on the way in. I can > say that it is a fair distance but not managable. > > So into the session she went and she had her moments but really had a > good session. She wanted to be carried out of the session. So I have > an option. Do I carry her, the backpack, the walker, my purse or do > we wait her out. I told her that I would carry her out to the waiting > area to get her coat but then she would need to walk. She understood > and was fine once I put her down in the walker and put her coat on. > She walked out of the office and made it about 10 feet down the > hallway. She then proceeded to start to pretend to collapse on the > floor and throw one of her temper tantrums. > > Believe me as her mother I can really tell whether she is too tired to > walk or is she just wanting to control mom and have her way. This was > definitely one of those times that physically she could do what I > wanted her to do so I had to just let her thrown her tantrum. Well, > true to Annika's form this was a good one. It was lasting about 5-10 > minutes. She wasn't screaming the whole time. She would stop look > around if anyone was paying her attention and then start again. Or > she would check if I was coming back to help her. > > Well, then this couple came out of the office along with one of the > secrataries. They were convinced that Annika was hurt and no one was > caring for her. I could understand that. I was a few feet beyond > them because if I stand near her she will crawl over to me and start > things again. I told them that she was just fine she was just having > a little fit(believe me there were many other people who had walked by > this whole scenario with comments like-she's three right?, she is > strong willed right?, she's stubborn?, only to be a child again and > think we can just cry to get our way. " Most people understood > completely what was happening. Considering this is one of the primary > children's therapy centers outside of the metro area this cannot be on > uncommon occurence in this place. The secretary asked me if she > needed help up at all and I told her no she could get up on her own(if > I thought she couldn't I would be there, for pete's s! ake I am her > mom and I would help her to the enth degree if I could!!!). Well, > then the secretary went back into the office and then the couple > basically started to accuse me of child abuse. One comment was " she > has a walker for pete's sake she is disabled!!!! " Well, I wanted to > say " no duh " . We exchanged a few other words and I just didn't know > whatelse to say. They walked away and said that I could explain it to > the police when they showed up. She was going or had called(I don't > know which she said) 911. > > Right after the couple walked away, Annika stood up in her walker with > a smile on her face and walked the whole way out to the van with a > very pleasant atttitude. Like the past 5 minutes never happened. > This is my child. Once she knows we won't give in she is okay let's > go then. And off she goes like it never happened. > > I just couldn't believe this. In the past 3 years of Annika's life, I > have never had to defend anything that we have done with her. I mean > I never let my boys get away with something like this but I am > supposed to let her get away with this because she is disabled? I > know she needs more help than the boys did and believe me she gets it > but when it comes to the battle of wills as her parent I have to make > sure that she understands that she can't get away with everything and > sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. > > Just wanted to share. I don't know why Annika decided to get up after > this exchange. I know that she heard everything that was said and > probably understood some of it. But after it was all said and done I > didn't know whether to scream, cry or laugh!!! > > > Mom of 4 > Marcus 15 > 13 > Jon 11 > Annika 3 > Bilaterally implant 3/1/04 > Hookup 3/25/04 > re-implanted 10/28/05-left > spastic diaplegic CP > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 We started walking away from him (around the corner) and this seemed to limit te tantrumsas he was't getting the attention he wanted. That's exactly it. I wasn't around the corner. I was just sitting in a chair about 5 feet from her. She knew I wasn't going to give in and she wanted it all. Yes, I could have moved her to a more private place but then I am still giving her attention (for that time) and then also I have to carry her to move her. So thus it would increase the intensity of the tantrums. I don't like to see my child in the middle of a hallway screaming but what choices are there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 We started walking away from him (around the corner) and this seemed to limit te tantrumsas he was't getting the attention he wanted. That's exactly it. I wasn't around the corner. I was just sitting in a chair about 5 feet from her. She knew I wasn't going to give in and she wanted it all. Yes, I could have moved her to a more private place but then I am still giving her attention (for that time) and then also I have to carry her to move her. So thus it would increase the intensity of the tantrums. I don't like to see my child in the middle of a hallway screaming but what choices are there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 We started walking away from him (around the corner) and this seemed to limit te tantrumsas he was't getting the attention he wanted. That's exactly it. I wasn't around the corner. I was just sitting in a chair about 5 feet from her. She knew I wasn't going to give in and she wanted it all. Yes, I could have moved her to a more private place but then I am still giving her attention (for that time) and then also I have to carry her to move her. So thus it would increase the intensity of the tantrums. I don't like to see my child in the middle of a hallway screaming but what choices are there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 , you do what works for you and your family; clearly, in this case, you were absolutely right. It's not always easy to tell when a child is being abused, but in this case, anyone who has ever had a 3-year-old would know what is going on. And just because a child is disabled, there's no reason to expect inappropriate behavior (unless the child is incapable of the appropriate behavior). It's no fun to have your parenting style questioned, especially in so public a place. Good for you for hanging in there and doing what you knew was right for that situation. Stefanie on 11/11/05 6:52 AM, Wanha at rlw70@... wrote: > I have debated about whether posting this or not but I am so both frustrated > and in humor over this situation I decided that I will post it. I will first > say that I am not trying to start a debate over child rearing policies or > anything but just wanted to share a little about the personality of my little > " princess " . > > Yesterday she went back to her medical PT for the first time in about a month. > Last week we needed a doctor's order and before we were just so busy with all > the pre-reimplant appointments and keeping her healthy we just never made it. > Because Annika's balance is so much better it was really neat to see how she > was going to do. Well, for the first time in a long time Annika was able to > walk into the office from our vehichle all on her own(with the walker). She > didn't complain the whole time and was racing with me on the way in. I can > say that it is a fair distance but not managable. > > So into the session she went and she had her moments but really had a good > session. She wanted to be carried out of the session. So I have an option. > Do I carry her, the backpack, the walker, my purse or do we wait her out. I > told her that I would carry her out to the waiting area to get her coat but > then she would need to walk. She understood and was fine once I put her down > in the walker and put her coat on. She walked out of the office and made it > about 10 feet down the hallway. She then proceeded to start to pretend to > collapse on the floor and throw one of her temper tantrums. > > Believe me as her mother I can really tell whether she is too tired to walk or > is she just wanting to control mom and have her way. This was definitely one > of those times that physically she could do what I wanted her to do so I had > to just let her thrown her tantrum. Well, true to Annika's form this was a > good one. It was lasting about 5-10 minutes. She wasn't screaming the whole > time. She would stop look around if anyone was paying her attention and then > start again. Or she would check if I was coming back to help her. > > Well, then this couple came out of the office along with one of the > secrataries. They were convinced that Annika was hurt and no one was caring > for her. I could understand that. I was a few feet beyond them because if I > stand near her she will crawl over to me and start things again. I told them > that she was just fine she was just having a little fit(believe me there were > many other people who had walked by this whole scenario with comments > like-she's three right?, she is strong willed right?, she's stubborn?, only > to be a child again and think we can just cry to get our way. " Most people > understood completely what was happening. Considering this is one of the > primary children's therapy centers outside of the metro area this cannot be on > uncommon occurence in this place. The secretary asked me if she needed help > up at all and I told her no she could get up on her own(if I thought she > couldn't I would be there, for pete's sake I am her mom and I would help her > to the enth degree if I could!!!). Well, then the secretary went back into > the office and then the couple basically started to accuse me of child abuse. > One comment was " she has a walker for pete's sake she is disabled!!!! " Well, > I wanted to say " no duh " . We exchanged a few other words and I just didn't > know whatelse to say. They walked away and said that I could explain it to > the police when they showed up. She was going or had called(I don't know > which she said) 911. > > Right after the couple walked away, Annika stood up in her walker with a smile > on her face and walked the whole way out to the van with a very pleasant > atttitude. Like the past 5 minutes never happened. This is my child. Once > she knows we won't give in she is okay let's go then. And off she goes like > it never happened. > > I just couldn't believe this. In the past 3 years of Annika's life, I have > never had to defend anything that we have done with her. I mean I never let > my boys get away with something like this but I am supposed to let her get > away with this because she is disabled? I know she needs more help than the > boys did and believe me she gets it but when it comes to the battle of wills > as her parent I have to make sure that she understands that she can't get away > with everything and sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. > > Just wanted to share. I don't know why Annika decided to get up after this > exchange. I know that she heard everything that was said and probably > understood some of it. But after it was all said and done I didn't know > whether to scream, cry or laugh!!! > > > Mom of 4 > Marcus 15 > 13 > Jon 11 > Annika 3 > Bilaterally implant 3/1/04 > Hookup 3/25/04 > re-implanted 10/28/05-left > spastic diaplegic CP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 , you do what works for you and your family; clearly, in this case, you were absolutely right. It's not always easy to tell when a child is being abused, but in this case, anyone who has ever had a 3-year-old would know what is going on. And just because a child is disabled, there's no reason to expect inappropriate behavior (unless the child is incapable of the appropriate behavior). It's no fun to have your parenting style questioned, especially in so public a place. Good for you for hanging in there and doing what you knew was right for that situation. Stefanie on 11/11/05 6:52 AM, Wanha at rlw70@... wrote: > I have debated about whether posting this or not but I am so both frustrated > and in humor over this situation I decided that I will post it. I will first > say that I am not trying to start a debate over child rearing policies or > anything but just wanted to share a little about the personality of my little > " princess " . > > Yesterday she went back to her medical PT for the first time in about a month. > Last week we needed a doctor's order and before we were just so busy with all > the pre-reimplant appointments and keeping her healthy we just never made it. > Because Annika's balance is so much better it was really neat to see how she > was going to do. Well, for the first time in a long time Annika was able to > walk into the office from our vehichle all on her own(with the walker). She > didn't complain the whole time and was racing with me on the way in. I can > say that it is a fair distance but not managable. > > So into the session she went and she had her moments but really had a good > session. She wanted to be carried out of the session. So I have an option. > Do I carry her, the backpack, the walker, my purse or do we wait her out. I > told her that I would carry her out to the waiting area to get her coat but > then she would need to walk. She understood and was fine once I put her down > in the walker and put her coat on. She walked out of the office and made it > about 10 feet down the hallway. She then proceeded to start to pretend to > collapse on the floor and throw one of her temper tantrums. > > Believe me as her mother I can really tell whether she is too tired to walk or > is she just wanting to control mom and have her way. This was definitely one > of those times that physically she could do what I wanted her to do so I had > to just let her thrown her tantrum. Well, true to Annika's form this was a > good one. It was lasting about 5-10 minutes. She wasn't screaming the whole > time. She would stop look around if anyone was paying her attention and then > start again. Or she would check if I was coming back to help her. > > Well, then this couple came out of the office along with one of the > secrataries. They were convinced that Annika was hurt and no one was caring > for her. I could understand that. I was a few feet beyond them because if I > stand near her she will crawl over to me and start things again. I told them > that she was just fine she was just having a little fit(believe me there were > many other people who had walked by this whole scenario with comments > like-she's three right?, she is strong willed right?, she's stubborn?, only > to be a child again and think we can just cry to get our way. " Most people > understood completely what was happening. Considering this is one of the > primary children's therapy centers outside of the metro area this cannot be on > uncommon occurence in this place. The secretary asked me if she needed help > up at all and I told her no she could get up on her own(if I thought she > couldn't I would be there, for pete's sake I am her mom and I would help her > to the enth degree if I could!!!). Well, then the secretary went back into > the office and then the couple basically started to accuse me of child abuse. > One comment was " she has a walker for pete's sake she is disabled!!!! " Well, > I wanted to say " no duh " . We exchanged a few other words and I just didn't > know whatelse to say. They walked away and said that I could explain it to > the police when they showed up. She was going or had called(I don't know > which she said) 911. > > Right after the couple walked away, Annika stood up in her walker with a smile > on her face and walked the whole way out to the van with a very pleasant > atttitude. Like the past 5 minutes never happened. This is my child. Once > she knows we won't give in she is okay let's go then. And off she goes like > it never happened. > > I just couldn't believe this. In the past 3 years of Annika's life, I have > never had to defend anything that we have done with her. I mean I never let > my boys get away with something like this but I am supposed to let her get > away with this because she is disabled? I know she needs more help than the > boys did and believe me she gets it but when it comes to the battle of wills > as her parent I have to make sure that she understands that she can't get away > with everything and sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. > > Just wanted to share. I don't know why Annika decided to get up after this > exchange. I know that she heard everything that was said and probably > understood some of it. But after it was all said and done I didn't know > whether to scream, cry or laugh!!! > > > Mom of 4 > Marcus 15 > 13 > Jon 11 > Annika 3 > Bilaterally implant 3/1/04 > Hookup 3/25/04 > re-implanted 10/28/05-left > spastic diaplegic CP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 , you do what works for you and your family; clearly, in this case, you were absolutely right. It's not always easy to tell when a child is being abused, but in this case, anyone who has ever had a 3-year-old would know what is going on. And just because a child is disabled, there's no reason to expect inappropriate behavior (unless the child is incapable of the appropriate behavior). It's no fun to have your parenting style questioned, especially in so public a place. Good for you for hanging in there and doing what you knew was right for that situation. Stefanie on 11/11/05 6:52 AM, Wanha at rlw70@... wrote: > I have debated about whether posting this or not but I am so both frustrated > and in humor over this situation I decided that I will post it. I will first > say that I am not trying to start a debate over child rearing policies or > anything but just wanted to share a little about the personality of my little > " princess " . > > Yesterday she went back to her medical PT for the first time in about a month. > Last week we needed a doctor's order and before we were just so busy with all > the pre-reimplant appointments and keeping her healthy we just never made it. > Because Annika's balance is so much better it was really neat to see how she > was going to do. Well, for the first time in a long time Annika was able to > walk into the office from our vehichle all on her own(with the walker). She > didn't complain the whole time and was racing with me on the way in. I can > say that it is a fair distance but not managable. > > So into the session she went and she had her moments but really had a good > session. She wanted to be carried out of the session. So I have an option. > Do I carry her, the backpack, the walker, my purse or do we wait her out. I > told her that I would carry her out to the waiting area to get her coat but > then she would need to walk. She understood and was fine once I put her down > in the walker and put her coat on. She walked out of the office and made it > about 10 feet down the hallway. She then proceeded to start to pretend to > collapse on the floor and throw one of her temper tantrums. > > Believe me as her mother I can really tell whether she is too tired to walk or > is she just wanting to control mom and have her way. This was definitely one > of those times that physically she could do what I wanted her to do so I had > to just let her thrown her tantrum. Well, true to Annika's form this was a > good one. It was lasting about 5-10 minutes. She wasn't screaming the whole > time. She would stop look around if anyone was paying her attention and then > start again. Or she would check if I was coming back to help her. > > Well, then this couple came out of the office along with one of the > secrataries. They were convinced that Annika was hurt and no one was caring > for her. I could understand that. I was a few feet beyond them because if I > stand near her she will crawl over to me and start things again. I told them > that she was just fine she was just having a little fit(believe me there were > many other people who had walked by this whole scenario with comments > like-she's three right?, she is strong willed right?, she's stubborn?, only > to be a child again and think we can just cry to get our way. " Most people > understood completely what was happening. Considering this is one of the > primary children's therapy centers outside of the metro area this cannot be on > uncommon occurence in this place. The secretary asked me if she needed help > up at all and I told her no she could get up on her own(if I thought she > couldn't I would be there, for pete's sake I am her mom and I would help her > to the enth degree if I could!!!). Well, then the secretary went back into > the office and then the couple basically started to accuse me of child abuse. > One comment was " she has a walker for pete's sake she is disabled!!!! " Well, > I wanted to say " no duh " . We exchanged a few other words and I just didn't > know whatelse to say. They walked away and said that I could explain it to > the police when they showed up. She was going or had called(I don't know > which she said) 911. > > Right after the couple walked away, Annika stood up in her walker with a smile > on her face and walked the whole way out to the van with a very pleasant > atttitude. Like the past 5 minutes never happened. This is my child. Once > she knows we won't give in she is okay let's go then. And off she goes like > it never happened. > > I just couldn't believe this. In the past 3 years of Annika's life, I have > never had to defend anything that we have done with her. I mean I never let > my boys get away with something like this but I am supposed to let her get > away with this because she is disabled? I know she needs more help than the > boys did and believe me she gets it but when it comes to the battle of wills > as her parent I have to make sure that she understands that she can't get away > with everything and sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. > > Just wanted to share. I don't know why Annika decided to get up after this > exchange. I know that she heard everything that was said and probably > understood some of it. But after it was all said and done I didn't know > whether to scream, cry or laugh!!! > > > Mom of 4 > Marcus 15 > 13 > Jon 11 > Annika 3 > Bilaterally implant 3/1/04 > Hookup 3/25/04 > re-implanted 10/28/05-left > spastic diaplegic CP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2005 Report Share Posted November 11, 2005 Holy Moly. When she got up and walked away did you grab those people and yell, SEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I am so sorry about that! How awful! Tawnya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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