Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 Amen. I have no problem taking Max out, not just to eat but out to other things. People need to get over the fact that not all kids are perfect. I had one lady say something to me (max was humming and stimming on a book) and I explained he had autism and she said something about keeping him home. Bad move on her part. I ripped into her about her perfect darlings that were throwing food etc and that my kid was the way he was so that her little darlings could feel free to be brats and explained the use of the vaccination program sacrificed the " few " for the good of the many so she ought to be thanking my kid. Then I mentioned something about her kissing a part of my anatomy if she didn't like it. We all get so caught up in autism that from time to time we need to remember that these kids are kids first and while we stare at medical reports and try to decifer ingredient labels and IEPs that we need to enjoy the hell out of these kids as much as we can. I have a great time with Max, he's sweet and funny and has the best laugh ever and if people aren't shallow, they will see that too. If not, they can piss off. Holly ----- Original Message ----- > I gave up on having my child eat " out. " It was to stressful and he was so > rigid that there was nothing he would eat. Until the last food program we > did through our consultant. We got rice. So now we go to sushi and he eats > the rice and I will bring him some fruit and books to read. It's terrific!! > > Before the diet I was becomming tired with not having the freedom to eat > out. So I decided to " free " myself by being propared and just bring Ben his > food. He was happy, my daughter was happy, and her parents actually get > family time, as mealtime at our home can be stressful to say the least. > > After the diet nothing has really changed. I'll bring his food in his lunch > box, and he reads or plays quietly till the meal is served. He orders his > own juice or water, and he is not an extra mess for the staff to clean up > because we take care of him. > > When I have been questioned by staff, I say that Ben is a Celiac and that > wheat makes him REALLY sick. They go oh (they have no clue what I just told > them), and there is no hassle, and we have a good night. I don't like to > mention autism at these small times, bevause it is a word that creates > hysteria. I just want some much needed family time, and if I have to pack > his dinner for freedom, well then I will! > > Now pray for the Manager who gets his panties wound up because a customer > is not eating their food. I'll be putting a little bug in his ear like, > " American's with Disability Act-ever heard of that? > > DOn't ever be afraid to take your children out. I was held a prisnor by > Ben's behavior for four years. We he recently regressed, I told the group > of therapist that I was not going to become a prisnor of autism again. He > came out once and by Gosh he will do it again (and he is doing better, > cause he know that Mom is done with his fun). The freedom and joy you find > when you can do enjoyably activities out of his comfort zone is enormous. > Shoot we took Ben's diet food to disneyland. Made it up in the AM and ate > it in the PM. Avoiding the popcorn was a toughie though > > Hopes it helps in Or. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 Amen. I have no problem taking Max out, not just to eat but out to other things. People need to get over the fact that not all kids are perfect. I had one lady say something to me (max was humming and stimming on a book) and I explained he had autism and she said something about keeping him home. Bad move on her part. I ripped into her about her perfect darlings that were throwing food etc and that my kid was the way he was so that her little darlings could feel free to be brats and explained the use of the vaccination program sacrificed the " few " for the good of the many so she ought to be thanking my kid. Then I mentioned something about her kissing a part of my anatomy if she didn't like it. We all get so caught up in autism that from time to time we need to remember that these kids are kids first and while we stare at medical reports and try to decifer ingredient labels and IEPs that we need to enjoy the hell out of these kids as much as we can. I have a great time with Max, he's sweet and funny and has the best laugh ever and if people aren't shallow, they will see that too. If not, they can piss off. Holly ----- Original Message ----- > I gave up on having my child eat " out. " It was to stressful and he was so > rigid that there was nothing he would eat. Until the last food program we > did through our consultant. We got rice. So now we go to sushi and he eats > the rice and I will bring him some fruit and books to read. It's terrific!! > > Before the diet I was becomming tired with not having the freedom to eat > out. So I decided to " free " myself by being propared and just bring Ben his > food. He was happy, my daughter was happy, and her parents actually get > family time, as mealtime at our home can be stressful to say the least. > > After the diet nothing has really changed. I'll bring his food in his lunch > box, and he reads or plays quietly till the meal is served. He orders his > own juice or water, and he is not an extra mess for the staff to clean up > because we take care of him. > > When I have been questioned by staff, I say that Ben is a Celiac and that > wheat makes him REALLY sick. They go oh (they have no clue what I just told > them), and there is no hassle, and we have a good night. I don't like to > mention autism at these small times, bevause it is a word that creates > hysteria. I just want some much needed family time, and if I have to pack > his dinner for freedom, well then I will! > > Now pray for the Manager who gets his panties wound up because a customer > is not eating their food. I'll be putting a little bug in his ear like, > " American's with Disability Act-ever heard of that? > > DOn't ever be afraid to take your children out. I was held a prisnor by > Ben's behavior for four years. We he recently regressed, I told the group > of therapist that I was not going to become a prisnor of autism again. He > came out once and by Gosh he will do it again (and he is doing better, > cause he know that Mom is done with his fun). The freedom and joy you find > when you can do enjoyably activities out of his comfort zone is enormous. > Shoot we took Ben's diet food to disneyland. Made it up in the AM and ate > it in the PM. Avoiding the popcorn was a toughie though > > Hopes it helps in Or. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 Amen. I have no problem taking Max out, not just to eat but out to other things. People need to get over the fact that not all kids are perfect. I had one lady say something to me (max was humming and stimming on a book) and I explained he had autism and she said something about keeping him home. Bad move on her part. I ripped into her about her perfect darlings that were throwing food etc and that my kid was the way he was so that her little darlings could feel free to be brats and explained the use of the vaccination program sacrificed the " few " for the good of the many so she ought to be thanking my kid. Then I mentioned something about her kissing a part of my anatomy if she didn't like it. We all get so caught up in autism that from time to time we need to remember that these kids are kids first and while we stare at medical reports and try to decifer ingredient labels and IEPs that we need to enjoy the hell out of these kids as much as we can. I have a great time with Max, he's sweet and funny and has the best laugh ever and if people aren't shallow, they will see that too. If not, they can piss off. Holly ----- Original Message ----- > I gave up on having my child eat " out. " It was to stressful and he was so > rigid that there was nothing he would eat. Until the last food program we > did through our consultant. We got rice. So now we go to sushi and he eats > the rice and I will bring him some fruit and books to read. It's terrific!! > > Before the diet I was becomming tired with not having the freedom to eat > out. So I decided to " free " myself by being propared and just bring Ben his > food. He was happy, my daughter was happy, and her parents actually get > family time, as mealtime at our home can be stressful to say the least. > > After the diet nothing has really changed. I'll bring his food in his lunch > box, and he reads or plays quietly till the meal is served. He orders his > own juice or water, and he is not an extra mess for the staff to clean up > because we take care of him. > > When I have been questioned by staff, I say that Ben is a Celiac and that > wheat makes him REALLY sick. They go oh (they have no clue what I just told > them), and there is no hassle, and we have a good night. I don't like to > mention autism at these small times, bevause it is a word that creates > hysteria. I just want some much needed family time, and if I have to pack > his dinner for freedom, well then I will! > > Now pray for the Manager who gets his panties wound up because a customer > is not eating their food. I'll be putting a little bug in his ear like, > " American's with Disability Act-ever heard of that? > > DOn't ever be afraid to take your children out. I was held a prisnor by > Ben's behavior for four years. We he recently regressed, I told the group > of therapist that I was not going to become a prisnor of autism again. He > came out once and by Gosh he will do it again (and he is doing better, > cause he know that Mom is done with his fun). The freedom and joy you find > when you can do enjoyably activities out of his comfort zone is enormous. > Shoot we took Ben's diet food to disneyland. Made it up in the AM and ate > it in the PM. Avoiding the popcorn was a toughie though > > Hopes it helps in Or. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 Hi, We just had a 24 hour cruise with our son: buffet breakfast, buffet dinner, sauna, bath .. the whole thing. He was bravely taking the change and having fun, sometimes stressed out but not much, slept okay in the little cabin etc. It took some effort from our side but I think that we must take our kids out to see the life, in a safe, structured manner. One autistic boy (10 years) who can fluently communicate his thoughts through a computer was extremely happy always when his mother took him to visit somebody. It is too convenient to 'keep them home'. Think how boring for a child! And Holly, what a rage I felt after I read your story about this asshole woman, who does not deserve any children at all. I would tell her, that you or your beloved ones need only one suitable hit in the head and you will be in the same situation as this brave child, who has 100 times more substance than you and your kids together. I cannot believe what I read. Kati --- Holly Bortfeld maximom@...> wrote: And she said something about keeping him home. Bad move on her part. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 Wonderful response, . I will try and remember that one. ----- Original Message ----- > > I was watching her glare at us from the table right next to us. She > commented LOUDLY how folks could not control / discipline their kids. > > I went over to her, hold out my hand and smiled " My name is Ackerman, > my son Jeff is autistic. You appear to have some good advice on how to deal > with autistic kids. Are you a specialists or a doctor? I would love to > hear your advice on what to do here. Would you like to join us for dinner? " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 Oh how we could write a BOOK on the unsolicited advice of strangers.....I will briefly tell mine!! While shopping at a local chain (Marc's discount drugs) with Mason (3), I unknowingly trotted down the detergent ailse(Mason reacts HORRIBLY to chemicals and smells) sooooooo, a tyraid started equipped with him banging his head on the front of the cart babbling. While in the middle of this even, a few strangers walked by offering that " KNOWING " look, some with sympathy some NOT, when this woman in her mid 40's decided I looked like I needed her advice and help. She as a matter-of-factly walked up to us, Mason in full swing, and stated " It looks like SOMEONE should have stayed home today " !! During which my jaw hit the floor...she also felt it necessary to state to me that this is what happens when we start using that " new fangled approach of discipline of letting our childre express themselves, when in her day a good swat cured it " ...... Ok, THAT was the button.... I politely turned to her and stated this... " I thank you for your advice,however UNWANTED it may be...How appropriate of you to go out in public and give your wisdom out like dimes on the corner. Do you also dool out your unmedigated knowledge while you are visiting a grieving family at the funeral home,do you tell them that in your day, carrings on such as THAT were also unwanted and cured with a good crack? " Needless to say she had no response to me, that of which I abruptly put my screaming toddlers hat on, grabbed my cart handles and started to walk away, but...the nastiness got the best of me and I turned and almost hissed at her " My son is Autistic and cannot help the way he sometimes responds to OUR world, maybe his neurologist should give him a nice swat and tell him to snap out of it, that would save me about $3,000.00 a year right lady! " Off we went and I never looked back to see if everyone was still staring and at that point Mason started to get an eerie peace about himself so I figured why rock the boat! So to all of those people out there who failed to put their degree on the outside of their coat!! Debbie(angry EVERY time I think about this) __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 Oh how we could write a BOOK on the unsolicited advice of strangers.....I will briefly tell mine!! While shopping at a local chain (Marc's discount drugs) with Mason (3), I unknowingly trotted down the detergent ailse(Mason reacts HORRIBLY to chemicals and smells) sooooooo, a tyraid started equipped with him banging his head on the front of the cart babbling. While in the middle of this even, a few strangers walked by offering that " KNOWING " look, some with sympathy some NOT, when this woman in her mid 40's decided I looked like I needed her advice and help. She as a matter-of-factly walked up to us, Mason in full swing, and stated " It looks like SOMEONE should have stayed home today " !! During which my jaw hit the floor...she also felt it necessary to state to me that this is what happens when we start using that " new fangled approach of discipline of letting our childre express themselves, when in her day a good swat cured it " ...... Ok, THAT was the button.... I politely turned to her and stated this... " I thank you for your advice,however UNWANTED it may be...How appropriate of you to go out in public and give your wisdom out like dimes on the corner. Do you also dool out your unmedigated knowledge while you are visiting a grieving family at the funeral home,do you tell them that in your day, carrings on such as THAT were also unwanted and cured with a good crack? " Needless to say she had no response to me, that of which I abruptly put my screaming toddlers hat on, grabbed my cart handles and started to walk away, but...the nastiness got the best of me and I turned and almost hissed at her " My son is Autistic and cannot help the way he sometimes responds to OUR world, maybe his neurologist should give him a nice swat and tell him to snap out of it, that would save me about $3,000.00 a year right lady! " Off we went and I never looked back to see if everyone was still staring and at that point Mason started to get an eerie peace about himself so I figured why rock the boat! So to all of those people out there who failed to put their degree on the outside of their coat!! Debbie(angry EVERY time I think about this) __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 Oh how we could write a BOOK on the unsolicited advice of strangers.....I will briefly tell mine!! While shopping at a local chain (Marc's discount drugs) with Mason (3), I unknowingly trotted down the detergent ailse(Mason reacts HORRIBLY to chemicals and smells) sooooooo, a tyraid started equipped with him banging his head on the front of the cart babbling. While in the middle of this even, a few strangers walked by offering that " KNOWING " look, some with sympathy some NOT, when this woman in her mid 40's decided I looked like I needed her advice and help. She as a matter-of-factly walked up to us, Mason in full swing, and stated " It looks like SOMEONE should have stayed home today " !! During which my jaw hit the floor...she also felt it necessary to state to me that this is what happens when we start using that " new fangled approach of discipline of letting our childre express themselves, when in her day a good swat cured it " ...... Ok, THAT was the button.... I politely turned to her and stated this... " I thank you for your advice,however UNWANTED it may be...How appropriate of you to go out in public and give your wisdom out like dimes on the corner. Do you also dool out your unmedigated knowledge while you are visiting a grieving family at the funeral home,do you tell them that in your day, carrings on such as THAT were also unwanted and cured with a good crack? " Needless to say she had no response to me, that of which I abruptly put my screaming toddlers hat on, grabbed my cart handles and started to walk away, but...the nastiness got the best of me and I turned and almost hissed at her " My son is Autistic and cannot help the way he sometimes responds to OUR world, maybe his neurologist should give him a nice swat and tell him to snap out of it, that would save me about $3,000.00 a year right lady! " Off we went and I never looked back to see if everyone was still staring and at that point Mason started to get an eerie peace about himself so I figured why rock the boat! So to all of those people out there who failed to put their degree on the outside of their coat!! Debbie(angry EVERY time I think about this) __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 You go Holly! You gave me the laugh I needed today!!! We don't eat out much - mostly just Mcs for the kids' sakes, but I have taken them both places and brought my own foods and no one has made the slightest comment to me. If asked if my kids would like something the staff thinks is yummy, I simply explain that they both have severe food allergies and that ends any further interference. But I can and have gotten very nasty when bothered by ignorent and insensitive people. ( & Malachi's mom) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 If not, they can piss off. > > Holly Holly, Don't you mean 'up a rope'????????? LOL Abby (UT) scapegoat@... " Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much are the three pillars of learning. " ---Anonymous--- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2001 Report Share Posted January 23, 2001 No, different list. LOL ----- Original Message ----- > If not, they can piss off. > > > > Holly > > > Holly, Don't you mean 'up a rope'????????? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2001 Report Share Posted January 28, 2001 I have had several incidences with people like this (especially at the grocery store) and so I went to Kinkos and made business cards that I hand out to those not so understanding people. The read: I love someone with autism. It is my daughter....I understand that she looks like she is spoiled and a problem child. She is not> She is a very loving, special child and a blessing to my family. I hope that one day you too will understand. I also like your idea ....especially the invite to dinner..ha ha ha Kim ('s mom) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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