Re: courage

December 30, 2003

I know where you are coming from. I too have not had the surgery for the very

same reason. I already have anxiety, the thought of surgery freaks me out. I

have also had many sleepless nights. I hate it. I know that you feel like you

are all alone in this, but you are not. I am here for you, and you just might

be the courage I need to go through with surgery too.

December 30, 2003

Hey Amy,

I wish I had the answer. I think it is in trusting your surgeon.

Finding friends who care. And letting them help you get there. that

is where I am. If you read above at " count down " that's me. I have

21 days until my surgery (myo) and well, I'm not sleeping either. But

I try to look to the other side of myo. That things will be better.

The pain gone. I am alone and it makes it harder for me but I have

friends who have been there and will be there. Are you having

problems/symptoms with it? Why are you removing it?

December 31, 2003

In a message dated 12/30/2003 9:01:08 PM Pacific Standard Time,

norc15@... writes:

> Are you having

> problems/symptoms with it? Why are you removing it?

>

I don't have major symptoms. Just a belly that looks pregnant that is

greatly affecting me. My periods are longer and I'm just plain old tired of

worrying about this. I want the relief that I'll feel when it's over. I'm

trying to

concentrate on the other side!

December 31, 2003

Az,

Thanks for the all the positive notes. I am really trying to focus on the

" other side " . I printed out your list to hang on my mirror. Really, thanks

Amy

December 31, 2003

Like you, I was very nervous about my myo. In the weeks right before it,

there were a few days when I cried while driving in to work, because I just

had so much pent-up anxiety.

As others have mentioned, it helps if you have confidence in your doctor.

It also helps to have confidence in yourself. Keep reminding yourself that

you're a strong woman and that you will march through this valiantly! OK,

maybe that's overdoing it a bit, but you get the idea Going in with a

positive attitude really does help. Everybody has a different way of

dealing with their anxiety. For me, it helped to think that most

myomectomies turn out fine, with no complications. But even more than that,

I accepted the risks going into it and resolved myself that I could handle

whatever happened to me. I knew it would be a major disappointment and

adjustment if, say, I had a hysterectomy, but I knew that eventually I

would learn to live with it, and I would have the knowledge that I did all

I could to try to have a second baby safely, which was what was important

to me when I decided to have the myo.

If you think too much about all the possible complications, pain,

discomfort, and inconvenience, it will seem like an overwhelming

experience, because you've never experienced anything like this before, and

you can't imagine being able to deal with it. But once you are in the thick

of it, you will find that you are much stronger than you realize--both

mentally and physically--and your anxiety actually helped you prepare for

the big event. Just keep reminding yourself that all of this is just

temporary.

Cheryl

At 11:01 PM 12/30/2003 -0500, you wrote:

>Here's the issue. I need to know how to get the courage to do this. I am so

>scared to death of surgery. I actually feel panicky when I let myself think

>about the details. I have lost sooooooo many nights sleep over this. I have

>had many nightmares too. I am very well informed, so it's not that I'm not

>sure this is the right thing. I just happen to be deathly afraid of medical

>procedures in general, I never take pills for anything and can't imagine

>needing

>to take narcotics, I am very afraid of hospitals, etc. So my question is for

>the brave women who have gone forward. How did you get the courage? What

>did

>you do so that you didn't become impossible to live with the closer the

>surgery became? I hate that I am so afraid. Logically, I know that I am

>torturing

>myself with my own mind and things couldn't possibly be as bad as I'm making

>them out to be. Knowing that doesn't make me less afraid, however. Can

>anyone recommend ANYTHING to calm me down? I want to schedule this

>surgery for

>March. I really appreciate reading all of the reports after the myos, it

>does

>make me feel better. I just feel as if it's such a risk to have surgery and

>just what if something goes terribly wrong?

December 31, 2003

I was in your situation over a year ago. I had my myo last november

and I am extremely pleased with the results. From what you wrote, my

situation was about the same as yours . . . I did not have major

symptoms . . . My symptoms included the 16 to 18 week belly, bleeding

and clotting (however, not to the the point of anemia, general

malaise (probably from not getting much sleep because one of the

fibroids was pressing on my bladder), and a general feeling of I want

this out now and I don't want to deal with this anymore. (I had

fibroids and watched them grow for a number of years.

As for the courage . . . I subscribed to this site for about 9 months

or so, read everything I could get my hands on about fibroids,

visited 3 different doctors for different opinions, and basically

became as informed about fibroids as I could be.

In terms of my emotional state as the surgery came near . . . well,

while I had the fibroids and was making a decision, at times a

probablly drove individuals insane, including myself. As the date

arrived . . . it couldn't have been that bad for my support group, as

I was probably no more spastic than I was prior to surgery! Plus the

added benefit of IT WILL BE OVER SOON.

My thoughts as you gather your courage for your journey. . . have a

support group (family, friends, this board - they will understand),

find a dr that you believe in and who understands you and what YOU

want . . . see various doctors until you find one that " fits, " and

keep reading and keeping up with the research . . . the best way to

courage is information.

My best to you,

> In a message dated 12/30/2003 9:01:08 PM Pacific Standard Time,

> norc15@y... writes:

>

> > Are you having

> > problems/symptoms with it? Why are you removing it?

> >

>

> I don't have major symptoms. Just a belly that looks pregnant that

is

> greatly affecting me. My periods are longer and I'm just plain old

tired of

> worrying about this. I want the relief that I'll feel when it's

over. I'm trying to

> concentrate on the other side!

>

January 1, 2004

Yolanda,

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement. I actually remember reading

about your myo and subsequent recovery when you were one of the " may girls " .

Thanks so much. I do feel like I can do this, but then the next day I feel

scared witless again! I keep telling myself that if I were pregnant and I had

to have a c-section, it wouldn't be a second thought.

I'll keep you posted. The bummer in this is that I might have an insurance

problem and that would really stink because I don't want to have to muster up

the courage again. At this point, I just want to get it over with and stop

thinking about it.

Thanks

Amy

January 1, 2004

I haven't posted to this board in many months and decided to poke my head

in and see what was in the digest before deleting as I have been doing the

last few weeks when I saw this post. I had to respond.

I had my second myo back in May of '03 and I know how scared you feel.

What I can also tell you is that I have yet to encounter anyone who

regretted having a myo. You don't realize how much it affects your life

(even supposedly asymptomatic ones) until they're gone! Where do you get

the courage? Well for one is making sure you have a good surgeon whom you

trust. Don't have one? Check this board out for referrals. That's how I

found mine. In the hands of a good surgeon it's practically routine

surgery. Secondly, talk to other women just as you're doing now. Having

other women to share my concerns with helped me more than I can ever

explain. This board was my lifeline going into surgery. See if you can

connect with others who are in a similar situation as far as surgery. That

way you support each other. I was lucky enough to connect with someone who

not only had surgery the day after me, but also had the same surgeon and we

ended up sharing a room too! Lastly - stop letting your imagination go

wild. You probably have a better chance of winning the than you

do of having one of your fanciful " what if " scenarios played out.

Hope this helps!

Yolanda

January 1, 2004

I had my second myo in november of 03, I knew what a relief the first was and

how all the crazy symptoms I was having for years suddenly stoped when the

fibroid was gone. I had gone to all kinds of doctors trying to find out what

was causing all my strange symptoms. My GYN decided to do a routine lypoectomy

to see if I had endo and he found a fibroid the size of a baseball on top of my

uterus, he took it out believe it or not and I was still expected to leave the

hospital as soon as I woke up. My mother was there and made sure they let me

stay due to the pain. However I was still treated like it was drive by surgery.

Well now it's three years later and I know right away I had another fibroid. I

went to a new doctors because my old one retired. This one suggested using

astroglide and that would solve all my problems. I was furious. I called him

back and asked him what part of " I'm in pain " did he not get....I said I wanted

it out because I know life is better without it. I went back to an old

associate to the doctor who retired and explained my problem. Even though this

fibroid was much smaller I was still in pain. He agreed to take it out, this

time I told him I didn't want drive by surgery, myo should never be done as

outpatient but thats how they do it here. He agreed to what is called extended

stay, 23 hours and no more. I thought I would be treated better this time and I

was wrong, my nurse was awful, she wanted me to get up and leave and soon as I

could pee.... I finally decided I could get more piece of mind at home. I did

call the hospital and tell them I was not just a patient but a customer who's

insurance company was giving them a lot of money for my surgeries and next time

I would choose another hospital for anything I or my family needed. They did

apoligize on behalf of the nurse and said my Doctor should of schedualed me as a

regular inpatient surgery and that would of averted the situation. My opinion

on Myo is why would anyone want to keep a fibroid when you can have it taken

out. I was recovered and back to my old self in two weeks. I did have a great

pregnancy after the first was taken out and and hoping to get pregnant again in

a year of so. I was really afraid to have a fibroid during pregnancy because I

heard they have a high chance of causing a miscarrage. Women should me more

insistant with their doctors because the insurance companies don't want them to

do surgery unless they are symptomatic.

January 1, 2004