Re: For Sharon and others

June 21, 2004

Oh do I understand your anger and frustration. First off {{{HUGS}}}} for baring

your soul here and realizing that you are hanging by a thread.

Family patterns are HARD. In a nutshell, anxiety and depression run in my

family, my mother missed it, but completely repeated the marriage pattern HER

mother set. Two bad marriages followed by a good third one. The weight issues?

yep, they run in our family too.

Worst off is, I got the anxiety and depression that my grandmother also suffers

from, add in the fact that she's in last stages of Alzheimers and you can

imagine my eating problems. Two years ago I finally took action, and got on

medication. It's helping SO SLOWLY, but it IS HELPING. This right here and now

won't help you Sharon, but maybe somebody else out there will be helped.

So now I'm dealing with side effects. Number one is, I'm always tired. I'm

dealing with problems better, I'm handling anxiety better, but let me tell you

always being tired is really frustrating. There are days I'm eating to stay

awake. There are days I look at the book I'm currently working on and I can

hardly comprehend the words. But this is BETTER than BEFORE! Because this last

winter I finally made a decision to tackle my LAST DEMON. I'm 35 years old and I

finally got a license. Of course I ate through the fears and frustration, I had

several hair raising nightmares, and this is where it may help you; I gave

myself permission to maintain. I played with my points to hit the range that

kept me at around 150 and I did it. I'm giving myself permission to maintain

through the summer. Heck I may never lose those last 15#'s. And I realized it's

okay.

Just as I broke the marriage pattern, I'm breaking the anxiety. <but I have to

add I am my husbands 3rd wife, oh well, we can't always escape destiny <EG> Your

daughter will make her own path. My daughter is normal, she has a bit of puppy

fat, hates exercise, loves music and is growing up in a happy household. 14 is

hard enough, and I do nag her about fruits and veggies and milk . . . some of

the rest I have to let slide, she has to learn her own ways, we can only go do

so much.

It's HARD. VERY HARD! Maybe you just need to maintain a while. Also please,

don't give up. Stay here. We do understand.

And yeah, I hate running to, you know what? I delete most of those messages, but

I am so danged PROUD of those former couch potatos turned athletes. Me? I'm just

happy to get in three sessions with Austin a week. I have muscles, I'm

stronger than before, it helps with that damned lethargy . . . some of the time.

;^)

Thanks for understanding the gist of my note Lyn.

Personally, I am fed up with ME! I have lost over a hundred pounds 3 times

before, only to put it back on. It is hell to lose, gain it all back, plus

humiliating. I am fed up with ME because I can't see to get my 'mind' set to do

anything! I tell myself I WANT to but I DON'T. I got up this morning with the

full intention of getting started, but a couple of things happened right off the

bat & as some of you might know, there are certain days one could not get

started or stay on a diet or healthy eating plan if their life depended on it.

Today was that type of day for me.

Then I have an 18-year old daughter who has lost 45 pounds on the Atkins diet

and only has about 15-20 pounds to being at a really good size.

I went to Costco the other day, bought some junk I shouldn't have, then turn

around & ask myself why did I do that? I gave it all to my son who was

visiting today, but my daughter had seen a couple of things, got into both of

them and right now is downstairs eating - - - - -I don't know if we can mention

foods here for not, but I will just say it is something that isn't good for

ANYONE to eat.

Not only am I battling with myself but I am learning the pain that only a

Mother (I think) feels - - - - - let me just say, I have been there, I don't

want my daughter to ever need to lose over a 100 pounds, I don't want to see her

lose what she has & start gaining the 45 pounds back, but I also understand she

is 18 & I have no control over what she or anyone else puts in their mouth. I

ONLY have control of MYSELF - - and right now, I Can't even seem to obtain that.

I hope this isn't considered whining on this Board. I am interested in

knowing how others have pulled themselves up by the boot straps and got back on

program or any other diet. I shouldn't even have to be asking this!!! I have

done it before, I should be able to do it again

I was reading an article this past week that asked if one eats from emotional

hunger, if when feelings, pain, etc. are too close to the surface, if one

reverts back to the comfort foods one knew as a child. Everytime I stick

something in my mouth, I am asking myself this question, because I am NOT Eating

because I am hungry; it is for some other reason.

Lyn, I definitely think most peoples problems with being overweight stems from

one's mindset, that 98% of it is psychological & it is making me mad at myself

that I back where I once was. Oh, I am not as big as I was at one point, but I

could definitely lose almost a hundred pounds. Don't tell me to try counseling

because I have been that route before & none of them are interested. They all

think I am so normal that after seeing me a few times, they send me on my way.

This hasn't been just 1 or 2, but several counsellors.

And yes Lyn, I have lost over 100 pounds before & I would hit several plateaus

in the process, but each time I hit one, I kept telling myself it was a plateau,

if I would just keep on with keeping on with what I had been doing, those scales

would eventually start moving again . . and sure enough, they would. I have

also read that when one hits a plateau, to change one's routine of eating in

some little way, to maybe eat a little less, or a little more of something

healthy, or instead of doing 30 minutes of exercise, to kick it up to 45

minutes.

Well, I was headed for bed when I checked my E-mails & found this message. I

didn't realize I was quite so angry until I got started writing.

I realize all that anger is directed at ME, as I hope all of you will also

realize it. I am just fed up with me for being so weak right this moment.

Lyn, if this is what you call the meat & potatoes part, well here is my

portion for the night. Yes, when others are having battles, I would appreciate

it if they would share, as maybe it would help at least one of us.

The hoo-rahs & I lost so & so is great for those doing it & I realize they are

tickled pink to be able to post such messages, but right now, they have

only served to make me more mad at myself. Thanks for listening to me.

Sharon

June 22, 2004

I agree with Maureen. I read Sharon's post and decided to sit on it a

day or two and then try to respond. Tory's post says everything I

wanted to say, but didn't know how to vocalize.

What I love about this board is that although we don't ALL always

have a good response for someone, there usually is a few that do.

Sharon, I do hope you'll stay.

April

>

> My friend is quitting

WW

> > >

> > > Hello everyone!

> > >

> > > I started Weight Watchers with a friend of mine. She is

> > probably

> > going

> > > to quit - and I guess I knew from the beginning that

> > she probably

> > would.

> > >

> > > I thought it was a great idea to join with her. We could

go to

> > meetings

> > > together, we could support eachother...etc..etc...I guess

I had

> > this

> > > notion of the way we would do this together...but the

reality

> > wasn't so

> > > great.

> > >

> > > She had a breast reduction a couple months ago (cancer

related)

> > and had

> > > 8 pounds of breast tissue removed. Of course, when she

weighed

> > in, she

> > > made a big deal out of losing 9 lbs that week. She would

make a

> > point to

> > > tell me every week how much more she had lost than I

> > did and how

> > she was

> > > " beating " me....I never said anything to her about it,

> > but every

> > time

> > > she'd celebrate a success after that, I'd be

thinking, " Well,

> > yeah, you

> > > lost 15 lbs so far, but 8 of it was your boobs. "

> > >

> > > (now you know what kind of thoughts run through my

head...hope

> > that

> > > isn't totally shocking)

> > >

> > > Anyway...every week felt like a competition and it never

felt

> > supportive

> > > in any way.

> > >

> > > So anyway...we'd both been on a plateau for about 4 weeks

and

> > about two

> > > weeks ago, I decided, " that's it! I'm going for this.

> > I'm getting

> > > serious! " and I'm losing again. (and SO glad I found

> > this list!)

> > She is

> > > still on a plateau (even gained a bit) and she gets

really

> > negative if I

> > > lose and she doesn't.

> > >

> > > I really think she's going to quit (everything is

> > pointing to it)

> > and I

> > > have mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, I'll

almost be

> > relieved.

> > > To have that competitive feeling be gone each time I

weigh

> > in...having

> > > her ask me how much I lost....but then on the other hand,

can I

> > do this

> > > alone?

> > >

> > > I'm worried that I can't. Or won't. But ultimately I

> > think I have

> > to.

> > > Even with meetings and a supportive email group like you

gals

> > (and guys

> > > if there are any out there!) ultimately, don't we all

have to

> > make these

> > > daily eating and exercising decisions alone?

> > >

> > > in CO

> > >

June 22, 2004

I agree with Maureen. I read Sharon's post and decided to sit on it a

day or two and then try to respond. Tory's post says everything I

wanted to say, but didn't know how to vocalize.

What I love about this board is that although we don't ALL always

have a good response for someone, there usually is a few that do.

Sharon, I do hope you'll stay.

April

>

> My friend is quitting

WW

> > >

> > > Hello everyone!

> > >

> > > I started Weight Watchers with a friend of mine. She is

> > probably

> > going

> > > to quit - and I guess I knew from the beginning that

> > she probably

> > would.

> > >

> > > I thought it was a great idea to join with her. We could

go to

> > meetings

> > > together, we could support eachother...etc..etc...I guess

I had

> > this

> > > notion of the way we would do this together...but the

reality

> > wasn't so

> > > great.

> > >

> > > She had a breast reduction a couple months ago (cancer

related)

> > and had

> > > 8 pounds of breast tissue removed. Of course, when she

weighed

> > in, she

> > > made a big deal out of losing 9 lbs that week. She would

make a

> > point to

> > > tell me every week how much more she had lost than I

> > did and how

> > she was

> > > " beating " me....I never said anything to her about it,

> > but every

> > time

> > > she'd celebrate a success after that, I'd be

thinking, " Well,

> > yeah, you

> > > lost 15 lbs so far, but 8 of it was your boobs. "

> > >

> > > (now you know what kind of thoughts run through my

head...hope

> > that

> > > isn't totally shocking)

> > >

> > > Anyway...every week felt like a competition and it never

felt

> > supportive

> > > in any way.

> > >

> > > So anyway...we'd both been on a plateau for about 4 weeks

and

> > about two

> > > weeks ago, I decided, " that's it! I'm going for this.

> > I'm getting

> > > serious! " and I'm losing again. (and SO glad I found

> > this list!)

> > She is

> > > still on a plateau (even gained a bit) and she gets

really

> > negative if I

> > > lose and she doesn't.

> > >

> > > I really think she's going to quit (everything is

> > pointing to it)

> > and I

> > > have mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, I'll

almost be

> > relieved.

> > > To have that competitive feeling be gone each time I

weigh

> > in...having

> > > her ask me how much I lost....but then on the other hand,

can I

> > do this

> > > alone?

> > >

> > > I'm worried that I can't. Or won't. But ultimately I

> > think I have

> > to.

> > > Even with meetings and a supportive email group like you

gals

> > (and guys

> > > if there are any out there!) ultimately, don't we all

have to

> > make these

> > > daily eating and exercising decisions alone?

> > >

> > > in CO

> > >

June 22, 2004

I agree with Maureen. I read Sharon's post and decided to sit on it a

day or two and then try to respond. Tory's post says everything I

wanted to say, but didn't know how to vocalize.

What I love about this board is that although we don't ALL always

have a good response for someone, there usually is a few that do.

Sharon, I do hope you'll stay.

April

>

> My friend is quitting

WW

> > >

> > > Hello everyone!

> > >

> > > I started Weight Watchers with a friend of mine. She is

> > probably

> > going

> > > to quit - and I guess I knew from the beginning that

> > she probably

> > would.

> > >

> > > I thought it was a great idea to join with her. We could

go to

> > meetings

> > > together, we could support eachother...etc..etc...I guess

I had

> > this

> > > notion of the way we would do this together...but the

reality

> > wasn't so

> > > great.

> > >

> > > She had a breast reduction a couple months ago (cancer

related)

> > and had

> > > 8 pounds of breast tissue removed. Of course, when she

weighed

> > in, she

> > > made a big deal out of losing 9 lbs that week. She would

make a

> > point to

> > > tell me every week how much more she had lost than I

> > did and how

> > she was

> > > " beating " me....I never said anything to her about it,

> > but every

> > time

> > > she'd celebrate a success after that, I'd be

thinking, " Well,

> > yeah, you

> > > lost 15 lbs so far, but 8 of it was your boobs. "

> > >

> > > (now you know what kind of thoughts run through my

head...hope

> > that

> > > isn't totally shocking)

> > >

> > > Anyway...every week felt like a competition and it never

felt

> > supportive

> > > in any way.

> > >

> > > So anyway...we'd both been on a plateau for about 4 weeks

and

> > about two

> > > weeks ago, I decided, " that's it! I'm going for this.

> > I'm getting

> > > serious! " and I'm losing again. (and SO glad I found

> > this list!)

> > She is

> > > still on a plateau (even gained a bit) and she gets

really

> > negative if I

> > > lose and she doesn't.

> > >

> > > I really think she's going to quit (everything is

> > pointing to it)

> > and I

> > > have mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, I'll

almost be

> > relieved.

> > > To have that competitive feeling be gone each time I

weigh

> > in...having

> > > her ask me how much I lost....but then on the other hand,

can I

> > do this

> > > alone?

> > >

> > > I'm worried that I can't. Or won't. But ultimately I

> > think I have

> > to.

> > > Even with meetings and a supportive email group like you

gals

> > (and guys

> > > if there are any out there!) ultimately, don't we all

have to

> > make these

> > > daily eating and exercising decisions alone?

> > >

> > > in CO

> > >

June 22, 2004

I'm late coming into this discussion and I realize it's been discussed and

worked out but I have a suggestion. Perhaps when a person looses or has a

NSV and they post about it the 'congratulations' responses could go

privately?

Don't get me wrong... I am all for posting victories and I know how hard

some of us work for our 1 pound losses and I wouldn't want that to stop by

any means. However, I can also understand the frustration of hearing how

great people are doing when you are struggling to stay afloat. I have been

on a six month plateau before so I know first-hand how frustrating it is to

see people " brag " about their losses. I don't think those posts should stop

but perhaps we could cut down on the dozen " great job " or " congratulations "

posts right behind it by sending those privately? Perhaps that would help?

What really chaps me is posts from people upset because they 'ONLY' lost a

pound this week and a pound last week when they were loosing 2 pounds each

week and now they're thinking they hit a plateau and want to know how to

speed things back up again. LOL!! Or they stay the same for ONE weigh in and

want to do all kinds of drastic things to get things moving again.

If only I could go back to " one measly pound per week " Frustration is seeing

the same number every week for six months then loosing .6 or .4 every week

after that for another six months LOL!!

Anyway, I just wanted to say I can relate to both the frustration and

everyone's wish to keep posting their victories. I am also very proud to be

a part of this list after reading all of the responses to Sharon's post. I

was glad to see that no one flamed her for her post and that everyone seemed

to realize that her post was one of personal frustration and no directed at

anyone in particular. After reading the original post I thought " Wow! is she

ever going to get flamed for that! " Having been in the same position of

resenting everyone else's losses I could relate to her post and knew it was

a case of personal frustration and I am very glad that everyone else seemed

to realize it as well.

Kris

194/131/132

-----Original Message-----

From: sharon hill

The hoo-rahs & I lost so & so is great for those doing it & I realize they

are tickled pink to be able to post such messages, but right now, they have

only served to make me more mad at myself. Thanks for listening to me.

Sharon

----- Original Message -----

From: listmom_lyn

husband--sometimes. I get sabatouge from the rest of my family. My

8-year-old son would sometimes go to meetings with me when I couldn't

find a babysitter. He would be supportive. That's it. Some of my

family last Christmas totally ignored the fact I had lost 73 pounds.

Not one word. I don't post my losses here, as I don't have a lot of

time to post. But when I need a boost, I have done so...and let me

say, it feels good to have someone on my side. It feels good to know

others care. Likewise, I care about others here. I rarely respond

to the posts, but I always say " Wow, good job, way to go " in my mind

when reading such a post. I find it inspiring to read the posts.

June 22, 2004