Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illness

[Guest guest]

Not to brag....but it is in the 80's here in the Los Angeles area.

Miranda

California

IPF 05

> When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness that was

> terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we all have

to go

> sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so what do

you

> say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said that to

me.

> And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when my friends

> say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you didn't

expect

> to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R. Prescott

AZ

> PF Nov o8

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com

> Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.10.7/1895 - Release Date:

1/15/2009 7:46 AM

>

[Guest guest]

Not to brag....but it is in the 80's here in the Los Angeles area.

Miranda

California

IPF 05

> When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness that was

> terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we all have

to go

> sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so what do

you

> say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said that to

me.

> And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when my friends

> say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you didn't

expect

> to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R. Prescott

AZ

> PF Nov o8

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com

> Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.10.7/1895 - Release Date:

1/15/2009 7:46 AM

>

[Guest guest]

Not to brag....but it is in the 80's here in the Los Angeles area.

Miranda

California

IPF 05

> When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness that was

> terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we all have

to go

> sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so what do

you

> say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said that to

me.

> And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when my friends

> say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you didn't

expect

> to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R. Prescott

AZ

> PF Nov o8

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> No virus found in this incoming message.

> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com

> Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.10.7/1895 - Release Date:

1/15/2009 7:46 AM

>

[Guest guest]

Peggy, if Beth wants to do her chicken dance, I will accompany her with my elephant dance.

We'll make a grand pair.

Unfortunately, I won't make Orlando this time. But next year for sure.

Jack79/IPF - UIP/dx06/05 Maine

To: Breathe-Support Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 11:31:56 AMSubject: Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illnessJack, when there is nothing but lines that means RUN and don't go back until there are some kind of numbers..

That is crazy. I did hear some places up north are going to set record low temps.. I am cold here----in the house.. hee hee

I am a wimp.. Are you coming to Orlando in March ? Hope so. I wanna meet all the family possible this trip.

Beth is gonna brighten up your trip for sure. Just don't let her break into the chicken dance.. that's all I'm sayin..

Love & Prayers, Peggy

Florida, IPF/UIP 2004

"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet,

when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Well, my friends, I am off tomorrow morning to North Carolina, Dr. on, and - best of all - our

beloved Beth. I will be checking my email periodically and will try to keep up with the posts.

I plan to enjoy NC's current 40 degree weather. It was minus 21 here in Bangor, Maine. My thermomter showed too lines instead of the figures. I think the reading was below it's numbers.

I also will do a little house hunting in anticiaptation of my move to NC sometime this summer.

Jack79/IPF - UIP/dx06/05 Maine

From: Peggy <pac1773 (AT) cfl (DOT) rr.com>To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. comSent: Friday, January 16, 2009 9:56:02 AMSubject: Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illnessJoyce, Some of us have had Docs tell us not to use them.. my response to that is they don't have this disease and don't have a clue what it is like to have your saturation drop until you drop. It just makes me nuts.. Anyhow you will be doing yourself such a huge favor buying one. When your walking and your thigh muscles hurt that is lack of 0xygen. I had that for probably 2 or 3 years before I was Dx. (diagnosed) So you will find 99% of Docs say they understand but they can't until they walk around with this monster on your back. The thing that is your BEST for you is attitude.. Stay as positive as possible. Find happy where ever

you find yourself. Trust me the sad days of sorrow, anger and why me will find you....FIGHT girl FIGHT..

God Bless you with sweet peace and strength.

Love & Prayers, Peggy

Florida, IPF/UIP 2004

"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet,

when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Peggy- I have been told about getting a oximeter but have no money at the moment to get one. I will get one as soon as I can. I see my Primary doc today and will ask her for a prescription. If my insurance company won't honor it I can use it as a tax deduction if I have a prescription. I'm afraid my doc will think me foolish for asking but, what the hell, I can try. Joyce Prescott IPF 11-08

Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illness

Joyce, I've previously stated that illness seems to act like a filter in some strange way.The people who truly care float to the top and many unlikely ones seem to disappear.They stopped calling!!I've had to distance myself from many who I thought were friends but who reallywere not.. On the other hands I have become closer with many who I would not haveexpected to be so caring. Family members ( for me...my brother) sometimes are the one thathurt us the most. My brother thinks that because I can get out ( with O2.. mind you)

I'm fine andnot ill. So why can't I just drop everything and run whenever my 89 year old very strong Mom needs help.He of coursesends his wife...I guess he figures that that counts. No matter what I;ve said, or what Mike has told him. he just doesn't get it at all! It's painful to admit that he makes me so angry..but just saying that takes energyaway from my positive activities.Sorry for sort of dumping on you...didn't mean to.Have a good week-end.I'm happy that you connected with Jewish Hospital in Denver...it' s supposed to be outstanding.

Z 64, fibriotic NSIP/o5/PA

And "mild" PH/10/07 and Reynaud's too!!

No, NSIP was not self-inflicted. I never smoked!

Potter, reader,carousel lover and MomMom to Darah

and Sara

"I'm gonna be iron like a lion in Zion" Bob Marley

Vinca Minor-periwinkle is my flower

<!--[if !supportEmptyParas] --><!--[endif]-->

<!--[if !supportEmptyParas] --><!--[endif]-->greycharlie wrote:

When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness that wasterminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we all have to gosometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so what do yousay when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said that to me.And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when my friendssay it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you didn't

expectto live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R. Prescott AZPF Nov o8No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.10.7/1895 - Release Date: 1/15/2009 7:46 AM

[Guest guest]

Peggy, if Beth wants to do her chicken dance, I will accompany her with my elephant dance.

We'll make a grand pair.

Unfortunately, I won't make Orlando this time. But next year for sure.

Jack79/IPF - UIP/dx06/05 Maine

To: Breathe-Support Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 11:31:56 AMSubject: Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illnessJack, when there is nothing but lines that means RUN and don't go back until there are some kind of numbers..

That is crazy. I did hear some places up north are going to set record low temps.. I am cold here----in the house.. hee hee

I am a wimp.. Are you coming to Orlando in March ? Hope so. I wanna meet all the family possible this trip.

Beth is gonna brighten up your trip for sure. Just don't let her break into the chicken dance.. that's all I'm sayin..

Love & Prayers, Peggy

Florida, IPF/UIP 2004

"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet,

when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Well, my friends, I am off tomorrow morning to North Carolina, Dr. on, and - best of all - our

beloved Beth. I will be checking my email periodically and will try to keep up with the posts.

I plan to enjoy NC's current 40 degree weather. It was minus 21 here in Bangor, Maine. My thermomter showed too lines instead of the figures. I think the reading was below it's numbers.

I also will do a little house hunting in anticiaptation of my move to NC sometime this summer.

Jack79/IPF - UIP/dx06/05 Maine

From: Peggy <pac1773 (AT) cfl (DOT) rr.com>To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. comSent: Friday, January 16, 2009 9:56:02 AMSubject: Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illnessJoyce, Some of us have had Docs tell us not to use them.. my response to that is they don't have this disease and don't have a clue what it is like to have your saturation drop until you drop. It just makes me nuts.. Anyhow you will be doing yourself such a huge favor buying one. When your walking and your thigh muscles hurt that is lack of 0xygen. I had that for probably 2 or 3 years before I was Dx. (diagnosed) So you will find 99% of Docs say they understand but they can't until they walk around with this monster on your back. The thing that is your BEST for you is attitude.. Stay as positive as possible. Find happy where ever

you find yourself. Trust me the sad days of sorrow, anger and why me will find you....FIGHT girl FIGHT..

God Bless you with sweet peace and strength.

Love & Prayers, Peggy

Florida, IPF/UIP 2004

"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet,

when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Peggy- I have been told about getting a oximeter but have no money at the moment to get one. I will get one as soon as I can. I see my Primary doc today and will ask her for a prescription. If my insurance company won't honor it I can use it as a tax deduction if I have a prescription. I'm afraid my doc will think me foolish for asking but, what the hell, I can try. Joyce Prescott IPF 11-08

Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illness

Joyce, I've previously stated that illness seems to act like a filter in some strange way.The people who truly care float to the top and many unlikely ones seem to disappear.They stopped calling!!I've had to distance myself from many who I thought were friends but who reallywere not.. On the other hands I have become closer with many who I would not haveexpected to be so caring. Family members ( for me...my brother) sometimes are the one thathurt us the most. My brother thinks that because I can get out ( with O2.. mind you)

I'm fine andnot ill. So why can't I just drop everything and run whenever my 89 year old very strong Mom needs help.He of coursesends his wife...I guess he figures that that counts. No matter what I;ve said, or what Mike has told him. he just doesn't get it at all! It's painful to admit that he makes me so angry..but just saying that takes energyaway from my positive activities.Sorry for sort of dumping on you...didn't mean to.Have a good week-end.I'm happy that you connected with Jewish Hospital in Denver...it' s supposed to be outstanding.

Z 64, fibriotic NSIP/o5/PA

And "mild" PH/10/07 and Reynaud's too!!

No, NSIP was not self-inflicted. I never smoked!

Potter, reader,carousel lover and MomMom to Darah

and Sara

"I'm gonna be iron like a lion in Zion" Bob Marley

Vinca Minor-periwinkle is my flower

<!--[if !supportEmptyParas] --><!--[endif]-->

<!--[if !supportEmptyParas] --><!--[endif]-->greycharlie wrote:

When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness that wasterminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we all have to gosometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so what do yousay when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said that to me.And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when my friendssay it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you didn't

expectto live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R. Prescott AZPF Nov o8No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.10.7/1895 - Release Date: 1/15/2009 7:46 AM

[Guest guest]

Peggy, if Beth wants to do her chicken dance, I will accompany her with my elephant dance.

We'll make a grand pair.

Unfortunately, I won't make Orlando this time. But next year for sure.

Jack79/IPF - UIP/dx06/05 Maine

To: Breathe-Support Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 11:31:56 AMSubject: Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illnessJack, when there is nothing but lines that means RUN and don't go back until there are some kind of numbers..

That is crazy. I did hear some places up north are going to set record low temps.. I am cold here----in the house.. hee hee

I am a wimp.. Are you coming to Orlando in March ? Hope so. I wanna meet all the family possible this trip.

Beth is gonna brighten up your trip for sure. Just don't let her break into the chicken dance.. that's all I'm sayin..

Love & Prayers, Peggy

Florida, IPF/UIP 2004

"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet,

when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Well, my friends, I am off tomorrow morning to North Carolina, Dr. on, and - best of all - our

beloved Beth. I will be checking my email periodically and will try to keep up with the posts.

I plan to enjoy NC's current 40 degree weather. It was minus 21 here in Bangor, Maine. My thermomter showed too lines instead of the figures. I think the reading was below it's numbers.

I also will do a little house hunting in anticiaptation of my move to NC sometime this summer.

Jack79/IPF - UIP/dx06/05 Maine

From: Peggy <pac1773 (AT) cfl (DOT) rr.com>To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. comSent: Friday, January 16, 2009 9:56:02 AMSubject: Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illnessJoyce, Some of us have had Docs tell us not to use them.. my response to that is they don't have this disease and don't have a clue what it is like to have your saturation drop until you drop. It just makes me nuts.. Anyhow you will be doing yourself such a huge favor buying one. When your walking and your thigh muscles hurt that is lack of 0xygen. I had that for probably 2 or 3 years before I was Dx. (diagnosed) So you will find 99% of Docs say they understand but they can't until they walk around with this monster on your back. The thing that is your BEST for you is attitude.. Stay as positive as possible. Find happy where ever

you find yourself. Trust me the sad days of sorrow, anger and why me will find you....FIGHT girl FIGHT..

God Bless you with sweet peace and strength.

Love & Prayers, Peggy

Florida, IPF/UIP 2004

"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet,

when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Peggy- I have been told about getting a oximeter but have no money at the moment to get one. I will get one as soon as I can. I see my Primary doc today and will ask her for a prescription. If my insurance company won't honor it I can use it as a tax deduction if I have a prescription. I'm afraid my doc will think me foolish for asking but, what the hell, I can try. Joyce Prescott IPF 11-08

Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illness

Joyce, I've previously stated that illness seems to act like a filter in some strange way.The people who truly care float to the top and many unlikely ones seem to disappear.They stopped calling!!I've had to distance myself from many who I thought were friends but who reallywere not.. On the other hands I have become closer with many who I would not haveexpected to be so caring. Family members ( for me...my brother) sometimes are the one thathurt us the most. My brother thinks that because I can get out ( with O2.. mind you)

I'm fine andnot ill. So why can't I just drop everything and run whenever my 89 year old very strong Mom needs help.He of coursesends his wife...I guess he figures that that counts. No matter what I;ve said, or what Mike has told him. he just doesn't get it at all! It's painful to admit that he makes me so angry..but just saying that takes energyaway from my positive activities.Sorry for sort of dumping on you...didn't mean to.Have a good week-end.I'm happy that you connected with Jewish Hospital in Denver...it' s supposed to be outstanding.

Z 64, fibriotic NSIP/o5/PA

And "mild" PH/10/07 and Reynaud's too!!

No, NSIP was not self-inflicted. I never smoked!

Potter, reader,carousel lover and MomMom to Darah

and Sara

"I'm gonna be iron like a lion in Zion" Bob Marley

Vinca Minor-periwinkle is my flower

<!--[if !supportEmptyParas] --><!--[endif]-->

<!--[if !supportEmptyParas] --><!--[endif]-->greycharlie wrote:

When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness that wasterminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we all have to gosometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so what do yousay when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said that to me.And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when my friendssay it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you didn't

expectto live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R. Prescott AZPF Nov o8No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.10.7/1895 - Release Date: 1/15/2009 7:46 AM

[Guest guest]

I cried all afternoon. My son called today and he was so angry. He said he doesn't want to know his mother has a horrid disease and that I might die. He has enough stress to deal with and why am I burdening him. He only wants to hear happy things and good news from me. He doesn't want to talk about the fact that I am going to die. That is info he doesn't care to know. So, I will not share with him how well I am. I won't speak to him again about my illness and my fears and battles. Joyce

Strange responses to knowledge of illness> To: Breathe-Support > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM> When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness> that was > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we> all have to go > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so> what do you > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said> that to me. > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when> my friends > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you> didn't expect > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.> Prescott AZ > PF Nov o8

[Guest guest]

I cried all afternoon. My son called today and he was so angry. He said he doesn't want to know his mother has a horrid disease and that I might die. He has enough stress to deal with and why am I burdening him. He only wants to hear happy things and good news from me. He doesn't want to talk about the fact that I am going to die. That is info he doesn't care to know. So, I will not share with him how well I am. I won't speak to him again about my illness and my fears and battles. Joyce

Strange responses to knowledge of illness> To: Breathe-Support > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM> When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness> that was > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we> all have to go > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so> what do you > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said> that to me. > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when> my friends > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you> didn't expect > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.> Prescott AZ > PF Nov o8

[Guest guest]

Joyce

That's very sad....for both of you. You can't control him though or his

emotions or actions. You have to just concentrate on yourself and find

those who are healthy for you to talk to.

>

> > From: greycharlie greycharlie@... >

> > Subject: Strange responses to knowledge of

illness

> > To:

Breathe-Support

> > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM

> > When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness

> > that was

> > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we

> > all have to go

> > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so

> > what do you

> > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said

> > that to me.

> > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when

> > my friends

> > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you

> > didn't expect

> > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.

> > Prescott AZ

> > PF Nov o8

>

[Guest guest]

Joyce

That's very sad....for both of you. You can't control him though or his

emotions or actions. You have to just concentrate on yourself and find

those who are healthy for you to talk to.

>

> > From: greycharlie greycharlie@... >

> > Subject: Strange responses to knowledge of

illness

> > To:

Breathe-Support

> > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM

> > When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness

> > that was

> > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we

> > all have to go

> > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so

> > what do you

> > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said

> > that to me.

> > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when

> > my friends

> > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you

> > didn't expect

> > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.

> > Prescott AZ

> > PF Nov o8

>

[Guest guest]

Joyce,

Give him time. He is angry at the powers that be and is taking it out on you,

unfortunately, a lot of people have that kind of knee jerk reaction.

Frustration makes people act out. So, for now give him space. Everyone reacts

differently.

We all reacted differently with the news. I thought I was handling everything

just fine, until an ice cube fell from the fridge and I threw the glass at the

wall. Stressed, you think? You will have good days and bad days and funny days

and sad days. Life goes on. Just slightly different for us. As someone always

says here...we do not come with an expiration date, so do not count the minutes.

Enjoy the minutes.

Do not shut yourself off from your family. Given time, he will most likely come

around. At least, I hope that he will. I suggest that you do not state that you

will never talk to him about your feelings or illness, it is what it is. Don't

dwell, but don't hide either. You have most likely been there for him in his

ups and downs. Now it is his turn to provide the emotional support, if he is

capable of it. Some people are not. Only you will know. Don't beat yourself

up, don't shed more tears.

It hurts, I know.

But remember that we are here for you. Seriously, I may not post often, but

everyone here understands. This is a strong network for support, from deep

despair to deep dish apple pie recipes, it is all covered.

Thinking of you, wish I could help.

>

> > From: greycharlie

> greycharlie@...>

> > Subject: Strange responses to

> knowledge of illness

> > To:

> Breathe-Support

> > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM

> > When I told a few friends and my son that I had an

> illness

> > that was

> > terminal some of them and my son responded

> with:Well, we

> > all have to go

> > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them

> and if so

> > what do you

> > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my

> son said

> > that to me.

> > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt

> when

> > my friends

> > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting

> old you

> > didn't expect

> > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ).

> Joyce R.

> > Prescott AZ

> > PF Nov o8

[Guest guest]

Thank You, Joyce. I hope that is it because my son really is the most narcisistic person I know! I hope he learns to deal with it. It just hurts to have him say that. But, thank you for y our words and I will remember them. Joyce R Prescott AZ IPF-11/08

Strange responses to knowledge of illness> To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. com> Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM> When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness> that was > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we> all have to go > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so> what do you > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said> that to me. > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when> my friends > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you> didn't expect > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.> Prescott AZ > PF Nov o8

[Guest guest]

Oh Joyce T, you put it so well...YES I reckon you're on the money! Thank you for sharing your story with us.

After the father of my girls died in his 30's I always felt so 'responsible' to stay alive....now that I'm in my late 50's I feel like I finally can give myself 'permission' to leave if that's want I need to do!

My girls have had to accept that I don't wish to 'fight' this disease with everything medical known to mankind.. my choice is to go 'with the flow' & merely attempt a smooth passage. To that end I try my darndest to keep fit n' healthy but no heavy duty drugs will I take! My choice is certainly not the usual path & my medicos are not too happy about it but Heck, I AM!

My life, my way!

We're working around my limitations to have as much family time as possible & we all keep the preciousness of that shared time in mind. We're creating memories for the little ones in our family.

Rudy Joyce.....it's sad for you right now to see & feel your son reacting that way....it's his time to GROW fully into manhood....this is exactly the sort of experience to help him do that. I hope for your sake & his that he gets it together...I've been thinking about your situtaion but until now haven't been sure of how to express a response to you....

Hugs,

in Oz

IPF: Fibrotic NSIP/UIP???Raynauds'

May 2007

> > > From: greycharlie <greycharlie@ q.com>> > Subject: Strange responses to knowledge of illness> > To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. com> > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM> > When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness> > that was > > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we> > all have to go > > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so> > what do you > > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said> > that to me. > > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when> > my friends > > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you> > didn't expect > > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.> > Prescott AZ > > PF Nov o8>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your kind words. I do hope my son grows up. He is 34 and still a boy. He needs to get his act together. I think he should go to Australia and start a new life...It would probably be good for him! He has a degree in Computer networking but doesn't work with computers...he only has a temp job...he really needs to get his act together but I have to stay away from him until he comes to grip with this. I just can't let him hurt me over and over again....I mean I cried so hard when I heard his response.I just cannot afford to coping with depression too. I see my shrink tomorrow....I see him for 10 minutes every 3 months. I wonder what he will say? Kanga, Joyce AZ IPF 11-08

Strange responses to knowledge of illness> > To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. com> > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM> > When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness> > that was > > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we> > all have to go > > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so> > what do you > > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said> > that to me. > > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when> > my friends > > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you> > didn't expect > > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.> > Prescott AZ > > PF Nov o8>

[Guest guest]

Ah Blue Flyer,

We can't live our kids lives for them can we.... there comes a time when they must do it for themselves......we feel soooo responsible for how they turn out s adults but really when all is said n' done we all come as a genetic magical mystery bag & our childhood is just that....... CHILDHOOD.... parents do the best they can & then it's up to every individual to take their own lives in hand & do the very best that they can with their own journey.

We only get one life (at least only one that we know clearly about!) so we'd better just make it a magical mystery tour of our own! You are no longer responsible for HIS journey!

These days I've managed to change the way I relate to my daughters... No longer as their MOTHER but as a fellow adult who loves & cares about them but has a certain 'detachment' from their adult decisions. We shared a large chunk of our life's journey together but they will still be here (hopefully) long after I've gone. Their road is less travelled than mine at this point that's all!

Keep those 'Blue Flyers' in your mind's eye... they are so courageous & travel great distance & speed.....they know risk & the joy of freedom! Once their young have left their Pouch they 'let go'!

Hugs,

GIO

> > > > > From: greycharlie <greycharlie@ q.com>> > > Subject: Strange responses to knowledge of illness> > > To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. com> > > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM> > > When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness> > > that was > > > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we> > > all have to go > > > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so> > > what do you > > > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said> > > that to me. > > > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when> > > my friends > > > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you> > > didn't expect > > > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.> > > Prescott AZ > > > PF Nov o8> >>

[Guest guest]

Gio-thank you for the Kangaroo animation. It made my heart warm! And, yes, it is about time I let my son go on on his journey. I just wish the separation wasn't so hard on me...I don't like rejection so well.....I will see myself as the Blue Flyer I was in my youth....I still have the Kangroo spirt and grace. Blue Flyer Prescott AZ IPF 11-08

Strange responses to knowledge of illness> > > To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. com> > > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM> > > When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness> > > that was > > > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we> > > all have to go > > > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so> > > what do you > > > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said> > > that to me. > > > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when> > > my friends > > > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you> > > didn't expect > > > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.> > > Prescott AZ > > > PF Nov o8> >>

[Guest guest]

Glad to warm the cockles of your 'eart m'dear....seriously.....rejection is horrid BUT it's not neccessarily outright rejection ...... think of it as 'emotional constipation'....he gets STUCK..... he doesn't have the right words ready or maybe the emotional capacity to get to them, so the wrong ones get used....

he's trying to protect himself from a reality that he's not ready to square up to!

Actually, We have to square up to it first....they usually follow in their own time!

Just as well hearts are BIG hey!

Hugs,

in Oz> > > > > > > From: greycharlie <greycharlie@ q.com>> > > > Subject: Strange responses to knowledge of illness> > > > To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. com> > > > Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009, 5:45 PM> > > > When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness> > > > that was > > > > terminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we> > > > all have to go > > > > sometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so> > > > what do you > > > > say when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said> > > > that to me. > > > > And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when> > > > my friends > > > > say it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you> > > > didn't expect > > > > to live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R.> > > > Prescott AZ > > > > PF Nov o8> > >> >> > > > > > > <http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb095_ZSYYYYYYYYAU & utm_id=7923>>

[Guest guest]



Jack- my oximeter came today. I can't thank you enough! I have tried it out and all sees good. It says my sitting oxygen is 95 and that is right with oxygen. Thank yo uso much. I will take it to class with me tomorrow and see if my oxygen level goes below 90. Blue Flyer Joyce AZ IPF 11-08

Re: Strange responses to knowledge of illness

Joyce, I've previously stated that illness seems to act like a filter in some strange way.The people who truly care float to the top and many unlikely ones seem to disappear..They stopped calling!!I've had to distance myself from many who I thought were friends but who reallywere not.. On the other hands I have become closer with many who I would not haveexpected to be so caring. Family members ( for me...my brother) sometimes are the one thathurt us the most. My brother thinks that because I can get out ( with O2.. mind you) I'm fine andnot ill. So why can't I just drop everything and run whenever my 89 year old very strong Mom needs help.He of coursesends his wife...I guess he figures that that counts. No matter what I;ve said, or what Mike has told him. he just doesn't get it at all! It's painful to admit that he makes me so angry..but just saying that takes energyaway from my positive activities.Sorry for sort of dumping on you...didn't mean to.Have a good week-end.I'm happy that you connected with Jewish Hospital in Denver...it' s supposed to be outstanding.

Z 64, fibriotic NSIP/o5/PA

And "mild" PH/10/07 and Reynaud's too!!

No, NSIP was not self-inflicted. I never smoked!

Potter, reader,carousel lover and MomMom to Darah

and Sara

"I'm gonna be iron like a lion in Zion" Bob Marley

Vinca Minor-periwinkle is my flower

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<!--[if !supportEmptyParas] --><!--[endif]-->greycharlie wrote:

When I told a few friends and my son that I had an illness that wasterminal some of them and my son responded with:Well, we all have to gosometime. Has anyone had someone say this to them and if so what do yousay when they say that? It hurt me deeply when my son said that to me.And, it is such a cold thing to say.....it also hurt when my friendssay it to me or as one said well, you are getting old you didn't expectto live to be 90 did you? (actually I did! LOL ). Joyce R. Prescott AZPF Nov o8No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG - http://www.avg. com Version: 8.0.176 / Virus Database: 270.10.7/1895 - Release Date: 1/15/2009 7:46 AM