Fw: New Bank Procedures

[Guest guest]

Now we women know this is not true, right? but never the less it is funny.

Love Ardie

Subject: New Bank Procedures

> A sign in the Bank Lobby reads

>

> " Please note that this Bank is installing new " Drive-through " teller

> machines

> enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

> Customers

> using this new facility are requested to use the below outlined procedures

> when accessing their accounts. MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed

> after

> months of careful research. Please follow the appropriate steps for your

> gender. "

>

> MALE PROCEDURE

> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.

> 2. Put down your car window.

> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

> 6. Put window up.

> 7. Drive off.

>

> FEMALE PROCEDURE

> 1. Drive up to cash machine.

> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the

> machine.

> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

> 5. Turn the radio down.

> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive

> distance from the car.

> 8. Insert card.

> 9. Re-insert card the right way up.

> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside

> back page.

> 11. Enter PIN.

> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

> 13. Enter amount of cash required.

> 14. Check make up in rear view mirror.

> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

> 17. Place receipt in back of checkbook.

> 18. Re-check make-up again.

> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.

> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.

> 21. Retrieve card.

> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot

> provided.

> 23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver queuing

> behind.

> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

> 25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

> 26. Release Parking Brake.

>