Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 Personally Janet I would stick with it, you'll probably find that as she gets more and more used to your new " routine " that the crying will become less and less and she may even start to look forward to being put in her cot ;-) I can't think it's a bad thing to teach her to get to sleep on her own, and will pay dividends in the future I'm sure, my son went through a similar thing about a month ago, but got worse if I stayed in his room after putting him in his cot, so I just put him in kissed him and left and within 3-4 days he was settling really well, even giggling and talking for a few minutes before going off to sleep! HTH Joanne King SAHM to Ethan - HB 29.06.00 Minute Secretary Colchester & District Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 Personally Janet I would stick with it, you'll probably find that as she gets more and more used to your new " routine " that the crying will become less and less and she may even start to look forward to being put in her cot ;-) I can't think it's a bad thing to teach her to get to sleep on her own, and will pay dividends in the future I'm sure, my son went through a similar thing about a month ago, but got worse if I stayed in his room after putting him in his cot, so I just put him in kissed him and left and within 3-4 days he was settling really well, even giggling and talking for a few minutes before going off to sleep! HTH Joanne King SAHM to Ethan - HB 29.06.00 Minute Secretary Colchester & District Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 Personally Janet I would stick with it, you'll probably find that as she gets more and more used to your new " routine " that the crying will become less and less and she may even start to look forward to being put in her cot ;-) I can't think it's a bad thing to teach her to get to sleep on her own, and will pay dividends in the future I'm sure, my son went through a similar thing about a month ago, but got worse if I stayed in his room after putting him in his cot, so I just put him in kissed him and left and within 3-4 days he was settling really well, even giggling and talking for a few minutes before going off to sleep! HTH Joanne King SAHM to Ethan - HB 29.06.00 Minute Secretary Colchester & District Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 When I knew DD2 was on the way, I decided DS better get into the habit of having a sleep after lunch - he was about 7 months old when i started this. I'd put him in his cot after lunch and leave him there - the rule was 30 mins no matter what. If he was wailing after 30 mins I'd go up and get him. After day 2, he was happy to be in his cot. He often fell asleep straight away and slept for 3 hours, but if not he'd stay in his cot and play happily by himself. It was invaluable time when the baby came! I'd stick with it: if she needs a nap she'll bow to the inevitable - possibly later rather than sooner if my girls are anything to go by, but it's worth the perseverance!! Vicki Portman http://www.plushpants.co.uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 When I knew DD2 was on the way, I decided DS better get into the habit of having a sleep after lunch - he was about 7 months old when i started this. I'd put him in his cot after lunch and leave him there - the rule was 30 mins no matter what. If he was wailing after 30 mins I'd go up and get him. After day 2, he was happy to be in his cot. He often fell asleep straight away and slept for 3 hours, but if not he'd stay in his cot and play happily by himself. It was invaluable time when the baby came! I'd stick with it: if she needs a nap she'll bow to the inevitable - possibly later rather than sooner if my girls are anything to go by, but it's worth the perseverance!! Vicki Portman http://www.plushpants.co.uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 When I knew DD2 was on the way, I decided DS better get into the habit of having a sleep after lunch - he was about 7 months old when i started this. I'd put him in his cot after lunch and leave him there - the rule was 30 mins no matter what. If he was wailing after 30 mins I'd go up and get him. After day 2, he was happy to be in his cot. He often fell asleep straight away and slept for 3 hours, but if not he'd stay in his cot and play happily by himself. It was invaluable time when the baby came! I'd stick with it: if she needs a nap she'll bow to the inevitable - possibly later rather than sooner if my girls are anything to go by, but it's worth the perseverance!! Vicki Portman http://www.plushpants.co.uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 Janet, there is no " right " answer just what works for you. You can continue to use the controlled crying technique or use a modified version of it, moving your chair further and further from the cot or popping in and out and not picking her up but just " doing things " . Follow your instincts - if you think she needs to sleep then this sounds the " right " thing to do. I carried on feeding mine to sleep until she was well over 2 because that worked for us. Then she stopped feeding and largely dumped the nap as well but she can still get herself to sleep in the evenings. It really is very individual but the key thing in my opinion, and it is just opinion, is to be consistent ie if you have decided that the routine nap is important then keep it up. Lesley, Antenatal teacher, trainee breasteeding counsellor. Demented mother of 3. Worthing. " We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse " . Naps > How do/did all you experienced mums put your babies down for their naps? > > I'm having a miserable time about this because DD (15 months) just won't > settle. So I'm wondering how the rest of you deal with this. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 Janet, there is no " right " answer just what works for you. You can continue to use the controlled crying technique or use a modified version of it, moving your chair further and further from the cot or popping in and out and not picking her up but just " doing things " . Follow your instincts - if you think she needs to sleep then this sounds the " right " thing to do. I carried on feeding mine to sleep until she was well over 2 because that worked for us. Then she stopped feeding and largely dumped the nap as well but she can still get herself to sleep in the evenings. It really is very individual but the key thing in my opinion, and it is just opinion, is to be consistent ie if you have decided that the routine nap is important then keep it up. Lesley, Antenatal teacher, trainee breasteeding counsellor. Demented mother of 3. Worthing. " We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse " . Naps > How do/did all you experienced mums put your babies down for their naps? > > I'm having a miserable time about this because DD (15 months) just won't > settle. So I'm wondering how the rest of you deal with this. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 Janet, there is no " right " answer just what works for you. You can continue to use the controlled crying technique or use a modified version of it, moving your chair further and further from the cot or popping in and out and not picking her up but just " doing things " . Follow your instincts - if you think she needs to sleep then this sounds the " right " thing to do. I carried on feeding mine to sleep until she was well over 2 because that worked for us. Then she stopped feeding and largely dumped the nap as well but she can still get herself to sleep in the evenings. It really is very individual but the key thing in my opinion, and it is just opinion, is to be consistent ie if you have decided that the routine nap is important then keep it up. Lesley, Antenatal teacher, trainee breasteeding counsellor. Demented mother of 3. Worthing. " We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse " . Naps > How do/did all you experienced mums put your babies down for their naps? > > I'm having a miserable time about this because DD (15 months) just won't > settle. So I'm wondering how the rest of you deal with this. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 > > So my question is - should I continue with this " method " (for lack of a > better word)? or does anybody have a tip which may make it a little less > stressful!<< I would definately stick with it! I had to do this with two of mine for the lunchtime nap as they were the same - desperately needed it but needed some convincing. I would leave them crying for about 20/30 minutes. Because I hated to hear them cry I would often go for a walk in the garden or do some weeding as I couldn't hear them there and then go back in to listen after a while. DS1 took about 5 days before it worked, DD took less than that and both continued to nap for about a year after that so it was definitely worth doing. Lorraine Mum to 10, Natasha 8, 5, ph 3 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 > I'd put him in his cot after lunch and leave him there - the rule was 30 > mins no matter what. If he was wailing after 30 mins I'd go up and get him. > After day 2, he was happy to be in his cot. He often fell asleep straight > away and slept for 3 hours, but if not he'd stay in his cot and play happily > by himself. It was invaluable time when the baby came! SNAP! I still do that with DS who is now 2y5m. Admittedly he doesn't nap some days, but when he starts to get a bit grumpy and hyper I do the same. In fact I need the space from him some days too, and invariably I sleep too. Yesterday I was soooo tired I popped him in his cot, and as he was quiet about 30 mins later I slipped into bed too. I must have slipped in and out of consciousness for about 2 hours and believe it or not DS stayed awake the whole time just playing in his cot. I didn't get a proper sleep as I was listeneing for him, but I did get a rest. He has lots of books, toys, musical toys to play with and I call it rest time. Seems to work OK for us too. If he resists I have the 30 minute rule too Seems like you are taking the right approach to me. Sometimes they just don't know what is good for them and you are making good sound boundaries for your child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 > I'd put him in his cot after lunch and leave him there - the rule was 30 > mins no matter what. If he was wailing after 30 mins I'd go up and get him. > After day 2, he was happy to be in his cot. He often fell asleep straight > away and slept for 3 hours, but if not he'd stay in his cot and play happily > by himself. It was invaluable time when the baby came! SNAP! I still do that with DS who is now 2y5m. Admittedly he doesn't nap some days, but when he starts to get a bit grumpy and hyper I do the same. In fact I need the space from him some days too, and invariably I sleep too. Yesterday I was soooo tired I popped him in his cot, and as he was quiet about 30 mins later I slipped into bed too. I must have slipped in and out of consciousness for about 2 hours and believe it or not DS stayed awake the whole time just playing in his cot. I didn't get a proper sleep as I was listeneing for him, but I did get a rest. He has lots of books, toys, musical toys to play with and I call it rest time. Seems to work OK for us too. If he resists I have the 30 minute rule too Seems like you are taking the right approach to me. Sometimes they just don't know what is good for them and you are making good sound boundaries for your child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 > I'd put him in his cot after lunch and leave him there - the rule was 30 > mins no matter what. If he was wailing after 30 mins I'd go up and get him. > After day 2, he was happy to be in his cot. He often fell asleep straight > away and slept for 3 hours, but if not he'd stay in his cot and play happily > by himself. It was invaluable time when the baby came! SNAP! I still do that with DS who is now 2y5m. Admittedly he doesn't nap some days, but when he starts to get a bit grumpy and hyper I do the same. In fact I need the space from him some days too, and invariably I sleep too. Yesterday I was soooo tired I popped him in his cot, and as he was quiet about 30 mins later I slipped into bed too. I must have slipped in and out of consciousness for about 2 hours and believe it or not DS stayed awake the whole time just playing in his cot. I didn't get a proper sleep as I was listeneing for him, but I did get a rest. He has lots of books, toys, musical toys to play with and I call it rest time. Seems to work OK for us too. If he resists I have the 30 minute rule too Seems like you are taking the right approach to me. Sometimes they just don't know what is good for them and you are making good sound boundaries for your child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 DS1 never napped after about 1 year - he always seems to need less sleep that the other 2. DS2 just laid him down and he would easily have a sleep morning and afternoon. Outgrew sleeps at home, but would still sneak off on his 2 nursery days and join the queue to be laid down for a sleep after lunch. DS3 always has a morning sleep. I just lay him down in his cot and say sleep tight, shut the curtains and walk out. If he cries I leave him and go to the loo, then pop into him, retuck him up, give him his dog and dummy and leave him. If he carries on crying - tough. He has learnt that I do not give in on his sleep. He stays there for a couple of hours, and if he decided to play (or read his book there are always a couple of books in his cot) then that is his decision. I would never let him get totally upset but a bit of crying I can cope with. We have just put DS3 (aged 23 months) on his cot mattress on the floor and it is now taking him longer to settle at night. We realised that on holiday he will have to sleep in a bed, so we thought we had better start making the effort to move him from his cot. The matress will eventually be put back on his cot when we convert it into a bed. At nursery he already sleeps on a mattress on the floor so we thought that was a good starting point. By the way DS3 goes to bed by 6pm at the latest (Mondays 4.45pm!). DS2 (aged almost 6) goes at 7pm and DS3 (aged 7) goes at 8pm (but reads for ever). Trisha SAHM to 3 boys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 I am now in a habit of napping every day. I really feel it if I don't get my nap, even if it's only 20 mns actual sleep, I need to be in bed for about an hour, to hour-and-a-half to achieve this. I don't know if it is bad or good to be in this rather demanding habit. Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 I am now in a habit of napping every day. I really feel it if I don't get my nap, even if it's only 20 mns actual sleep, I need to be in bed for about an hour, to hour-and-a-half to achieve this. I don't know if it is bad or good to be in this rather demanding habit. Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 I am now in a habit of napping every day. I really feel it if I don't get my nap, even if it's only 20 mns actual sleep, I need to be in bed for about an hour, to hour-and-a-half to achieve this. I don't know if it is bad or good to be in this rather demanding habit. Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 Goodness! What time do they get up again? Lesley ------------ From: orTrisha@a By the way DS3 goes to bed by 6pm at the latest (Mondays 4.45pm!). DS2 (aged almost 6) goes at 7pm and DS3 (aged 7) goes at 8pm (but reads for ever). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 I think that naps are such a vital part of Calvin's (17 months tomorrow) day - and therefore mine - that I am not looking forward to when he will drop his. I use the same nursing, singing, and rocking that I use to put him down at night, only before a nap it is shorter. He was probably about 14 months old when I got completely fed up with having to get him all the way deeply asleep before being able to leave him, so now I nurse him, etc for about 5 minutes (about 10 minutes in the evening, but more if he's still fidgeting around), then lay him down. He used to cry and if it went on for 15 minutes or so, I would go back in and nurse, sing, rock again, then leave him again. Now I put him down, even if he's not asleep (and often he is) and he will go to sleep on his own without trauma and often without making another peep. The main 'techniques' I have seen for getting your child to sleep are: - stay with the baby until s/he goes to sleep (nursing and rocking etc in Dr. Sears and Attachment Parenting, patting and soothing but not holding for Baby Whisperer) - controlled crying - go back in every 5 or 10 minutes and lay them back down and pat them for a moment, then leave again (Dr. Ferber, Toddler Taming (who wrote that?), and many others) - leave them alone until they go to sleep or 'naptime' is over, also called 'crying it out' (can't think of anyone who writes about this one currently, though our darling Ford mentions using it on particularly 'troublesome' babies to get them to sleep) Can you tell I've just done a bit for our newsletter on sleeping? Phyllis ===== Phyllis Laatsch Wilke Wife to is, Mother to Calvin, 1/1/00 http://www.calvinwilke.cwc.net/calvins_page.html NCT Chiswick Branch Information Line Coordinator and Assistant Newsletter Editor __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 > I am now in a habit of napping every day. I really feel it if I don't > get my nap, even if it's only 20 mns actual sleep, I need to be in bed > for about an hour, to hour-and-a-half to achieve this. I don't know > if it is bad or good to be in this rather demanding habit. > Thanks Ruthie, now I don't feel so " unusual " by needing a sleep in the day. It started during pregnancy, and became a habit - if baby sleeps you sleep too after birth. The PND made it worse - when I would sleep a full night and also 3 hours in the day (thank goodness DS slept the same). I can go a few days without these days but usually begin to feel it. Especially as DH is a night owl and if I stay up to be with him the night before. I think DH gets a bit annoyed with me, especially as he is home this week doing DIY so he sees me going to bed when he is busy working. Is it that child rearing is so tiring? or is it just me? Half the time I am just sitting around minding Josh i.e. at the park although I do have to go on the climbing frame with him sometimes and push him on the swings and kick the ball and chase after him if he escapes and carry him to the car if he doesn't want to go home, and constantly answer his questions, warn of dangers, and talk about the world around us - phew!! I think I have just written the tiring things down, no wonder it is lunch and bed for both of us! hehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 > I am now in a habit of napping every day. I really feel it if I don't > get my nap, even if it's only 20 mns actual sleep, I need to be in bed > for about an hour, to hour-and-a-half to achieve this. I don't know > if it is bad or good to be in this rather demanding habit. > Thanks Ruthie, now I don't feel so " unusual " by needing a sleep in the day. It started during pregnancy, and became a habit - if baby sleeps you sleep too after birth. The PND made it worse - when I would sleep a full night and also 3 hours in the day (thank goodness DS slept the same). I can go a few days without these days but usually begin to feel it. Especially as DH is a night owl and if I stay up to be with him the night before. I think DH gets a bit annoyed with me, especially as he is home this week doing DIY so he sees me going to bed when he is busy working. Is it that child rearing is so tiring? or is it just me? Half the time I am just sitting around minding Josh i.e. at the park although I do have to go on the climbing frame with him sometimes and push him on the swings and kick the ball and chase after him if he escapes and carry him to the car if he doesn't want to go home, and constantly answer his questions, warn of dangers, and talk about the world around us - phew!! I think I have just written the tiring things down, no wonder it is lunch and bed for both of us! hehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 > I am now in a habit of napping every day. I really feel it if I don't > get my nap, even if it's only 20 mns actual sleep, I need to be in bed > for about an hour, to hour-and-a-half to achieve this. I don't know > if it is bad or good to be in this rather demanding habit. > Thanks Ruthie, now I don't feel so " unusual " by needing a sleep in the day. It started during pregnancy, and became a habit - if baby sleeps you sleep too after birth. The PND made it worse - when I would sleep a full night and also 3 hours in the day (thank goodness DS slept the same). I can go a few days without these days but usually begin to feel it. Especially as DH is a night owl and if I stay up to be with him the night before. I think DH gets a bit annoyed with me, especially as he is home this week doing DIY so he sees me going to bed when he is busy working. Is it that child rearing is so tiring? or is it just me? Half the time I am just sitting around minding Josh i.e. at the park although I do have to go on the climbing frame with him sometimes and push him on the swings and kick the ball and chase after him if he escapes and carry him to the car if he doesn't want to go home, and constantly answer his questions, warn of dangers, and talk about the world around us - phew!! I think I have just written the tiring things down, no wonder it is lunch and bed for both of us! hehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 > I am now in a habit of napping every day. I really feel it if I don't > get my nap, even if it's only 20 mns actual sleep, I need to be in bed > for about an hour, to hour-and-a-half to achieve this. I don't know > if it is bad or good to be in this rather demanding habit. > > Ruthie > ------------------- Ruthie, if you feel you need it - take it. My dad has always, ever since his retirement (and before at the weekends), taken himself off to his bed in the afternoon for his 'beauty sleep' as he calls it. And of course, here in southern Europe, siesta is a way of life. Even the shop opening hours work around them. Here in Greece they open at 8:00 til 2/3:00 and then closed until 5:00 til 9:00 (summer hours) / 4:00 til 8:00 (winter hours). Don't knock naps - they are very healthy and even 5 mins snooze in the armchair can revitalise you no end. Enjoy your zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's! Janet Athens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 > I am now in a habit of napping every day. I really feel it if I don't > get my nap, even if it's only 20 mns actual sleep, I need to be in bed > for about an hour, to hour-and-a-half to achieve this. I don't know > if it is bad or good to be in this rather demanding habit. > > Ruthie > ------------------- Ruthie, if you feel you need it - take it. My dad has always, ever since his retirement (and before at the weekends), taken himself off to his bed in the afternoon for his 'beauty sleep' as he calls it. And of course, here in southern Europe, siesta is a way of life. Even the shop opening hours work around them. Here in Greece they open at 8:00 til 2/3:00 and then closed until 5:00 til 9:00 (summer hours) / 4:00 til 8:00 (winter hours). Don't knock naps - they are very healthy and even 5 mins snooze in the armchair can revitalise you no end. Enjoy your zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's! Janet Athens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2001 Report Share Posted May 31, 2001 Thanks everybody for your support! I think I'll stick with it. It's just finding the right time that DD is tired and ready for her nap. It's not an exact science is it? I have tried several times to just leave her crying but she never fell asleep and similarly after half an hour I would give in. I think what's making me persist is the fact that when I give in and say 'okay it's almost lunchtime anyway' as soon as I'd put her in the high chair and go about preparing things in the kitchen, she'd be asleep!! Aaarghh! She's responding now when asked if she wants to sleep, kind of moaning cry which to me sounds like 'oh, do I have to?' but maybe I'm reading it wrong! We did leave her to cry it out for bedtime because our patience was running thin and it did work and quickly (once we'd decided); so I know she can do it. And now at bedtime I can leave her awake in her room, standing in her cot, and then she settles herself. It's just harder doing it on your own (at bedtimes DH was around). And knowing how long to let them cry when they only sleep an hour at the most? (although I believe she could sleep longer because she's still cranky when she wakes up - so why doesn't she???) So thanks again - I feel more confident to carry on! Janet Re: Naps > Personally Janet I would stick with it, you'll probably find that as she gets more and more used to your new " routine " that the crying will become less and less and she may even start to look forward to being put in her cot ;-) > > I can't think it's a bad thing to teach her to get to sleep on her own, and will pay dividends in the future I'm sure, my son went through a similar thing about a month ago, but got worse if I stayed in his room after putting him in his cot, so I just put him in kissed him and left and within 3-4 days he was settling really well, even giggling and talking for a few minutes before going off to sleep! > > HTH > > Joanne King > SAHM to Ethan - HB 29.06.00 > Minute Secretary Colchester & District > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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