9 Year Olds with Attitude

May 25, 2001

In a message dated 5/25/01 2:27:18 AM W. Australia Standard Time, Caroline

writes:

> Nope but will willing trade 7 year old who's struggling with SATs and 9 year

> old with attitude

That phrase sounded like music to my ears. Over the last few months my 8 and

a half year old has developed what I can only call an attitude problem.

Answering back, not doing what he's told etc.. Basically just being a pain.

He's not like this all the time, but it can be very difficult when he is.

Our new Nanny is also finding it hard - as he won't always do what she says

either.

He's being fine up to now - boisterous and loud and occasionally cheeky (just

like any boy), but this " attitude " is different.

I remember a friend talking about 9 year old boys particularly being like

this and how years 3 and 4 can be difficult - a sort of growing up phase that

they go through.

I can cope with it if it's " just a phase " - what I can't cope with is if it's

going to go on til he's 20, or if my parenting skills are just not up to much.

Anybody any experience/ tips?

Debbie Slater

Perth, WA

May 25, 2001

Debbie wrote:

That phrase sounded like music to my ears. Over the last few months my 8 and

> a half year old has developed what I can only call an attitude problem.

> Answering back, not doing what he's told etc.. Basically just being a pain.

> >>>>

>

I can relate to this with my DS1 he is 7 (8 in September). He behaves

impeccably at

school, and is doing really well. However as soon as he comes out of the

door, he starts picking on DS2 (6 in July) and is really, really horrible to

him. He compounds this by lying about what he has said to upset DS2. Even

DH who thinks DS1 can do

no wrong now can see he is a little sh*t.

Is it just a stage that they go through?

He has also just done his SATS and they knew that they were doing them, but I

don't know what they were told about them. The whole class have been really

laid back - but " Miss " has had leave to " do some ticking " . Note the

confidence,

in " ticking " no crossing as far as DS1 is concerned!

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

May 25, 2001

> > Nope but will willing trade 7 year old who's struggling with SATs

and 9 year

> > old with attitude

> That phrase sounded like music to my ears. Over the last few

months my 8 and

> a half year old has developed what I can only call an attitude

problem.

> Answering back, not doing what he's told etc.. Basically just

being a pain.

> He's not like this all the time, but it can be very difficult when

he is.

Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.

> I remember a friend talking about 9 year old boys particularly

being like

> this and how years 3 and 4 can be difficult - a sort of growing up

phase that

> they go through.

> I can cope with it if it's " just a phase " - what I can't cope with

is if it's

> going to go on til he's 20, or if my parenting skills are just not

up to much.

I'm going through exactly the same thing with DS3. I keep trying to

tell myself that everytime he has been through a difficult phase

before, it was just before a developmental leap. Things WILL improve.

Half the trouble is that DS2 is sooooo laid back about life, I can't

remember him ever being difficult (lazy, yes). And DS1 is still

having his toddler tantrums at 13...

Jan

May 25, 2001

The female version involves the slamming of doors, a face that could curdle milk

at 20 paces and the continuous baiting of dd2. Oh and the answering back I've

even heard her father say 'How dare you talk to your mother like that'- she is

as good as gold at school and works very hard - Its all so confusing being 9

trying to be grown up but not really wanting to be or is the other way around?.

Anyway we are off to play 'born to shop'

Caroline

Jersey

Now where is my switch card?

> Debbie wrote:

> That phrase sounded like music to my ears. Over the last few months my 8 and

>

> > a half year old has developed what I can only call an attitude problem.

> > Answering back, not doing what he's told etc.. Basically just being a pain.

> > >>>>

> >

>

> I can relate to this with my DS1 he is 7 (8 in September). He behaves

> impeccably at

> school, and is doing really well. However as soon as he comes out of the

> door, he starts picking on DS2 (6 in July) and is really, really horrible to

> him. He compounds this by lying about what he has said to upset DS2. Even

> DH who thinks DS1 can do

> no wrong now can see he is a little sh*t.

>

> Is it just a stage that they go through?

>

> Trisha

> SAHM to 3 boys

May 26, 2001

> I can relate to this with my DS1 he is 7 (8 in September). He

behaves

> impeccably at

> school, and is doing really well. However as soon as he comes out

of the

> door, he starts picking on DS2 (6 in July) and is really, really

horrible to

> him. He compounds this by lying about what he has said to upset

DS2. Even

> DH who thinks DS1 can do

> no wrong now can see he is a little sh*t.

>

> Is it just a stage that they go through?<<

I would say absolutely definitely as I have been having this with my 8

yr old DD for the past year! On a mum's night out with her classmates

mums, we soon established that all our kids were going through this.

She also behaves wonderfully at school - hard-working, quiet, polite

etc, but back home is being rude, lying, and very self-centred. Also,

nothing is ever enough for her. If you give her 1 sweet she always

wants 2, buy her a treat and she wants a bigger one, get the picture?

I am hoping it is a passing phrase as my 10 yr old is actually quite

easy-going and very sensible.

Lorraine

Mum to 10, Natasha 8, 5, ph 3

May 26, 2001