RE: [O ff Topic - Tips for a happy marriage]

[Guest guest]

GREAT ones, ! Compliments to Helen! :-)

Love Lana

Tips for a happy marriage

(They're actually Red Skelton's tips; originally from a man's perspective,

but of course my lovely wife Helen has changed them to a woman's.)

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,

then comes good food, and companionship. He goes on Tuesdays, I go on

Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. His is in Ontario; mine is in Alberta.

3. I take my husband everywhere, but he keeps finding his way back.

4. I asked my husband where he wanted to go for our anniversary. " Somewhere

I haven't been in a long time " he said. So, I suggested the laundry room.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, he goes to the bar.

6. He bought me an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread

maker, then he says there are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down. "

So I bought him an electric chair.

7. He runs after the garbage truck, yelling " Am I too late for the garbage? "

The driver yells " No, jump in! "

8. Remember. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

9. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.

10. I married Mr. Right. I just didn't know his first name was Always.

11. I haven't spoken to my husband in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt

him.

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