Guest guest Posted March 30, 2004 Report Share Posted March 30, 2004 To true to be funny, I've known people like this as I'm sure you have too. Love Ardie How Do These People Survive > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Recently, when I went to Mc's I saw on the menu that you > >could > > > >have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half > >dozen > > > >nuggets. " We don't have half dozen nuggets, " said the teenager at > >the > > > >counter. " You don't? " I replied. " We only have six, nine, or > >twelve, " > > > >was the reply. " So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can > >order > > > >six? " " That's right. " So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items > >and > >the > > > >lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked > >up > >one > > > >of those " Dividers " that they keep by the cash register and placed > >it > > > >between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had > > > >scanned all of my items, she picked up the Divider " looking it all > >over > > > >for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she > >said > > > >to me, " Do you know how much this is? " I said to her " I've changed > >my > > > >mind; I don't think I'll buy that today. " She said " OK " and I paid > >her > > > >for the things and left. She had no clue as to what had just > >happened. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy > >drive > >and > > > >pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was > >doing, > > > >she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for > >a > > > >credit card number, so was using the ATM " thingy. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. > > " Do > >you > > > >need some help? " I asked. She replied, " I knew I should have > >replaced > > > >the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my > >car. > > > >Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would > >have > >a > > > >battery to fit this? " " Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too? " I > > > >asked. " No, just this remote thingy, " she answered, handing it and > >the > > > >car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I > > > >replied, " Why don't you drive over there and check about the > >batteries. > > > >It's a long walk. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One > >day > >she > > > >was typing and turned to a secretary and said, " I'm almost out of > >typing > > > >paper. What do I do? " " Just use copier machine paper, " the > >secretary > > > >told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece > >of > > > >paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five " blank " > > > >copies. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home > >was > > > >towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of > > > >repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in > >Twister. " > >I > > > >asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had > >set > > > >the " cruise control " and then went in the back to make a sandwich. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > My neighbor works in the operations department in the central > >office > >of > > > >a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have > >problems > > > >with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one > >of > >the > > > >branch banks who had this question: I've got smoke coming from the > >back > > > >of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown? " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing > >a > > > >metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a > >photocopy > > > >machine. The message " He's lying " was placed in the copier, and > >police > > > >pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't > > > >telling the truth. Believing the " lie detector " was working, the > >suspect > > > >confessed. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > " Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > > Get business advice and resources to improve your work life, from > >bCentral. > > > http://special.msn.com/bcentral/loudclear.armx > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > FREE pop-up blocking with the new MSN Toolbar – get it now! > http://clk.atdmt.com/AVE/go/onm00200415ave/direct/01/ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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