Fruit Cake for Xmas, just use GFCF replacements

[Guest guest]

Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

1 cup water

1 cup of sugar

4 large eggs

2 cups dried fruit

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup brown sugar

lemon juice

nuts

1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again to be sure it is

of the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter

in a large, fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK.

Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck

in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,

pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something, Who cares.

Check the whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.

Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window.

Check the whiskey again.

Go to bed.

Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

Hope you smiled -Shari NY

[Guest guest]

Hi Shari,

Thanks for your Christmas Fruitcake recipe. As you can tell it's taken

me about two days to even see this. It was just what I needed tonight.

My son had a possible febrile seizure today after being seizure free for

a year. You really made my day, thanks again

in Ohio