Guest guest Posted November 1, 2006 Report Share Posted November 1, 2006 Hi everyone I just joined this group. I have recently started checking into having weight loss surgery and I am scared to death. I have a friend who went through the surgery in march and looks fantastic. I need to loose about 120 lbs so I know this is my only hope but I am just so scared. My family is split on whether or not I should do it. My husband says its up to me, my 16 year old wants me to do it, my ten year old is afraid I will die and my mom wants me to do it because I will look better. She doesn't really care about the risks or the health benefits, just that I might be pretty. She is already putting pressure on me about how fast I will lose the weight and what size I could be in my next Christmas etc. It is making me crazy. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on but I could really use some words of wisdom from those of you that have had similar situations and how you made it through. I would really appreciate it. Thanks a bunch. Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2006 Report Share Posted November 2, 2006 Laurie, I am 3 weeks out of surgery and your story sounds so much like mine. I was scared to death to go through with this. I lost my best friend (and her whole family which was like my second family) because of my decision to go through with the surgery. They didn't agree and actually said that they wouldn't support me. With friends like that, who needs enemies, right? Thank goodness that my family has been amazingly supportive, but I still mourn the loss of a best friend who I considered a sister. Anyway, I'm only 3 weeks out and I feel better than I've felt in years. I eat 3/4 of a cup of food and I feel full! I go to the gym and work out. This week I went to a huge outdoor flea market. Prior to surgery, I'd come home from the flea market barely able to walk. Not so this time! I came home and was exhausted but not in pain. There are many things to be scared of. That's normal. You wouldn't be a normal person if you weren't scared. You have to weigh the risks and benefits for yourself. I think that someone on this site once posted that you have a better chance of falling down the stairs and dying than you do from this surgery. The pain is relative and as intense as it is when you first wake up, it seems to go away just as quickly. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this was a good decision for me. Take your family to a support group meeting. It will help them understand the whole process better. I had my family come to the nutrition class with me too. They found that very informative. Take time and find the right surgeon and the right hospital. I hope that helps. Please let me know if I can answer any questions for you. xoxo, S. in NJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 I too am sorry .. It is amazing how shallow someone can be to break a great friendship over this. It happened to me once and it was her own insecurities about herself that she could not face. It was hard, but you seem like a great person and will fill that space soon. Congratulations on your successful efforts!!! Keep up the good work! Jackie in CA wrote: Hi , I'm sorry your best friend and her family turned against you because of your decision. I can't even begin to understand how they could do that to you. You sound like your thinking is healthy though, so you'll be able to deal with your friend when she realizes the huge mistakes she's made and comes back to you. I've found that keeping friends and family full of information has really helped me too. Your email was a joy to read...thanks . This process of preparing for surgery has made me a stronger person...I can see it already, and I havent even had the surgery yet! in Texas Simberg wrote: Laurie, I am 3 weeks out of surgery and your story sounds so much like mine. I was scared to death to go through with this. I lost my best friend (and her whole family which was like my second family) because of my decision to go through with the surgery. They didn't agree and actually said that they wouldn't support me. With friends like that, who needs enemies, right? Thank goodness that my family has been amazingly supportive, but I still mourn the loss of a best friend who I considered a sister. Anyway, I'm only 3 weeks out and I feel better than I've felt in years. I eat 3/4 of a cup of food and I feel full! I go to the gym and work out. This week I went to a huge outdoor flea market. Prior to surgery, I'd come home from the flea market barely able to walk. Not so this time! I came home and was exhausted but not in pain. There are many things to be scared of. That's normal. You wouldn't be a normal person if you weren't scared. You have to weigh the risks and benefits for yourself. I think that someone on this site once posted that you have a better chance of falling down the stairs and dying than you do from this surgery. The pain is relative and as intense as it is when you first wake up, it seems to go away just as quickly. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this was a good decision for me. Take your family to a support group meeting. It will help them understand the whole process better. I had my family come to the nutrition class with me too. They found that very informative. Take time and find the right surgeon and the right hospital. I hope that helps. Please let me know if I can answer any questions for you. xoxo, S. in NJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 I too am sorry .. It is amazing how shallow someone can be to break a great friendship over this. It happened to me once and it was her own insecurities about herself that she could not face. It was hard, but you seem like a great person and will fill that space soon. Congratulations on your successful efforts!!! Keep up the good work! Jackie in CA wrote: Hi , I'm sorry your best friend and her family turned against you because of your decision. I can't even begin to understand how they could do that to you. You sound like your thinking is healthy though, so you'll be able to deal with your friend when she realizes the huge mistakes she's made and comes back to you. I've found that keeping friends and family full of information has really helped me too. Your email was a joy to read...thanks . This process of preparing for surgery has made me a stronger person...I can see it already, and I havent even had the surgery yet! in Texas Simberg wrote: Laurie, I am 3 weeks out of surgery and your story sounds so much like mine. I was scared to death to go through with this. I lost my best friend (and her whole family which was like my second family) because of my decision to go through with the surgery. They didn't agree and actually said that they wouldn't support me. With friends like that, who needs enemies, right? Thank goodness that my family has been amazingly supportive, but I still mourn the loss of a best friend who I considered a sister. Anyway, I'm only 3 weeks out and I feel better than I've felt in years. I eat 3/4 of a cup of food and I feel full! I go to the gym and work out. This week I went to a huge outdoor flea market. Prior to surgery, I'd come home from the flea market barely able to walk. Not so this time! I came home and was exhausted but not in pain. There are many things to be scared of. That's normal. You wouldn't be a normal person if you weren't scared. You have to weigh the risks and benefits for yourself. I think that someone on this site once posted that you have a better chance of falling down the stairs and dying than you do from this surgery. The pain is relative and as intense as it is when you first wake up, it seems to go away just as quickly. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this was a good decision for me. Take your family to a support group meeting. It will help them understand the whole process better. I had my family come to the nutrition class with me too. They found that very informative. Take time and find the right surgeon and the right hospital. I hope that helps. Please let me know if I can answer any questions for you. xoxo, S. in NJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 I was lucky that my family were the ones to give me the nudge - I had been thinking for years about this. My mom was actually will to pay for any copayments!! Lin Hunnicutt wrote: I cannot believe it too. When I told my family, they were in total shell shock, but after a couple of days to get over the shock and to do some research, they were all behind me and my in-laws were behind me all of the way too. I really hope and pray that after they see the wise and courageous decision you have made, they will come to their senses. LinAt 07:42 PM 11/2/2006, you wrote: >Hi , > I'm sorry your best friend and her family turned against you > because of your decision. I can't even begin to understand how > they could do that to you. You sound like your thinking is healthy > though, so you'll be able to deal with your friend when she > realizes the huge mistakes she's made and comes back to you. I've > found that keeping friends and family full of information has > really helped me too. Your email was a joy to read...thanks . > This process of preparing for surgery has made me a stronger > person...I can see it already, and I havent even had the surgery yet! > in Texas > > Simberg wrote: > Laurie, > >I am 3 weeks out of surgery and your story sounds so much like mine. >I was scared to death to go through with this. > >I lost my best friend (and her whole family which was like my second >family) because of my decision to go through with the surgery. They >didn't agree and actually said that they wouldn't support me. With >friends like that, who needs enemies, right? Thank goodness that my >family has been amazingly supportive, but I still mourn the loss of >a best friend who I considered a sister. > >Anyway, I'm only 3 weeks out and I feel better than I've felt in >years. I eat 3/4 of a cup of food and I feel full! I go to the gym >and work out. This week I went to a huge outdoor flea market. Prior >to surgery, I'd come home from the flea market barely able to walk. >Not so this time! I came home and was exhausted but not in pain. > >There are many things to be scared of. That's normal. You wouldn't >be a normal person if you weren't scared. You have to weigh the >risks and benefits for yourself. I think that someone on this site >once posted that you have a better chance of falling down the stairs >and dying than you do from this surgery. The pain is relative and as >intense as it is when you first wake up, it seems to go away just as quickly. > >I guess what I'm trying to say is that this was a good decision for >me. Take your family to a support group meeting. It will help them >understand the whole process better. I had my family come to the >nutrition class with me too. They found that very informative. Take >time and find the right surgeon and the right hospital. > >I hope that helps. Please let me know if I can answer any questions for you. > >xoxo, S. in NJ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 I was lucky that my family were the ones to give me the nudge - I had been thinking for years about this. My mom was actually will to pay for any copayments!! Lin Hunnicutt wrote: I cannot believe it too. When I told my family, they were in total shell shock, but after a couple of days to get over the shock and to do some research, they were all behind me and my in-laws were behind me all of the way too. I really hope and pray that after they see the wise and courageous decision you have made, they will come to their senses. LinAt 07:42 PM 11/2/2006, you wrote: >Hi , > I'm sorry your best friend and her family turned against you > because of your decision. I can't even begin to understand how > they could do that to you. You sound like your thinking is healthy > though, so you'll be able to deal with your friend when she > realizes the huge mistakes she's made and comes back to you. I've > found that keeping friends and family full of information has > really helped me too. Your email was a joy to read...thanks . > This process of preparing for surgery has made me a stronger > person...I can see it already, and I havent even had the surgery yet! > in Texas > > Simberg wrote: > Laurie, > >I am 3 weeks out of surgery and your story sounds so much like mine. >I was scared to death to go through with this. > >I lost my best friend (and her whole family which was like my second >family) because of my decision to go through with the surgery. They >didn't agree and actually said that they wouldn't support me. With >friends like that, who needs enemies, right? Thank goodness that my >family has been amazingly supportive, but I still mourn the loss of >a best friend who I considered a sister. > >Anyway, I'm only 3 weeks out and I feel better than I've felt in >years. I eat 3/4 of a cup of food and I feel full! I go to the gym >and work out. This week I went to a huge outdoor flea market. Prior >to surgery, I'd come home from the flea market barely able to walk. >Not so this time! I came home and was exhausted but not in pain. > >There are many things to be scared of. That's normal. You wouldn't >be a normal person if you weren't scared. You have to weigh the >risks and benefits for yourself. I think that someone on this site >once posted that you have a better chance of falling down the stairs >and dying than you do from this surgery. The pain is relative and as >intense as it is when you first wake up, it seems to go away just as quickly. > >I guess what I'm trying to say is that this was a good decision for >me. Take your family to a support group meeting. It will help them >understand the whole process better. I had my family come to the >nutrition class with me too. They found that very informative. Take >time and find the right surgeon and the right hospital. > >I hope that helps. Please let me know if I can answer any questions for you. > >xoxo, S. in NJ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.