Adult parents

[Guest guest]

>>but she just thinks at her age she should just eat what she wants she'a

also of the generation that equates food with love so she cooks for my family

out of love and wants to make things they enjoy.<<

I think you've hit the nail on the head here. Life is tough for widows,

especially when they become dependent on somebody new. Often they feel a need

to prove that they still have value. I'd guess that she's always been told

that cooking " good " (her definition) food is what she does well, and she wants

to prove that to the world.

I'm wondering if you're not also dealing with an " I am the adult here "

conflict. Between the two of you, she's always been the grown-up. It's easy

to

say " My house, my rules " to a child, not so much to a parent. I'm wondering

if her ignoring what you ask is her way of establishing that she's still the

parent. I don't envy you this conflict, because it probably won't get better

on its own. Curious -- is this something new, since she moved in with you,

or has she always ignored your needs and wants and done what she wanted?

Maybe some family counseling is in order?

Just my thoughts.

Laurie in Seattle

" I read recipes like I read science fiction. I get to the end and think

'well, that's not going to happen.' " -- Rita Rudner