Guest guest Posted January 1, 2006 Report Share Posted January 1, 2006 > >ZEN SARCASM >1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, >for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much >leave me the heck alone. > > >2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and >leaky tire. > > >3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your >neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. > > >4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be >promoted. > > >5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. > > >6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. > > >7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of >car payments. > > >8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. >That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their >shoes. > > >9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. > > >10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.. Teach him how to fish, >and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. > > >11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was >probably worth it. > > >12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. > > >13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. > > >14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. > > >15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put >it back in your pocket. > > >16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. > > >17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, >and it holds the universe together. > > >18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. > > >19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are >moving. > > >20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. > > >21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. > > >22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative >on the same night. > Have a safe, happy, and healthy new year! Your KOPS Pal Always, , Jr. TOPS #TX 1432, Spring 117.75 lbs. gone/95.75 in TOPS from highest weight on renewal Reinstated 1 year KOPS/Current goal met August 4, 2005. " Miracles will happen as we speak But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy No we're never gonna survive unless we are a little crazy No no we'll never survive unless we get a little bit.... " -Crazy by Alanis Morissette (originally done by Seal) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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