Experiences with Deaf culture / Deaf community?

[Guest guest]

Hi !

In einer eMail vom 01.01.2006 22:21:14 Westeuropäische Normalzeit schreibt

abaugh7080@...:

does anyone in the group have any experiences good or bad with the Deaf

culture, Deaf groups? ......anyknow

of any online contacts within the Deaf community? (like groups, chats,

message boards?)

thanks

amanda

I am Inge from Germany. My son´s hearing loss is moderate to severe, now age

14. He is grown up wih oral education and does his job very well.

Nevertheless I learn the German Sign Language since nearly four years. It is

wonderful to feel the signs by myself! You can tell everything you

want....everything can be namned by signs.

People in Deaf culture I meet are about the same as in the hearing world.

What do I mean? There are deaf people very warm and heartly...saying really

welcome to me!...On the other side there are deaf people too with very bad

experiences in hearing culture...grown up with oral education, they are victims

made by teachers. These second people are very angry to all kind of hearing

people, but I do understand them. *smile*

In July 2005 I spend three days in Reims / France.

The communcation there was done by International Signs. Oh...I prefered it

most!....

Sign Language gives me the possibility to feel my body first time in my

life. It is about of having a deaf body before and no my body can hear and

speak. I love it!

Hugs, Inge with Ralf (hearing, 17) and (Hoh, 14)

[Guest guest]

the more i learn about HOH / deaf and Deaf, the more questions i have.

does anyone in the group have any experiences good or bad with the Deaf

culture, Deaf groups? the EI team works with the states school for the

Deaf, and this is where we will be taking some beginning ASL classes.

its on the Deaf schools campus, and i've really heard a lot of negative

things about the Deaf cultures acceptance of hearing parents, and HOH

people / kids. is the stuff i'm reading dated? or does the Deaf

community still respond this way? I'm starting to get nervous. anyknow

of any online contacts within the Deaf community? (like groups, chats,

message boards?)

thanks

amanda

[Guest guest]

I attended a weekend for families at our state school for the deaf. Everyone

there was friendly and worked hard at communicating with us. We are beginner

signers- and our total communication therapist has been working with us on SEE,

and of course at the deaf school they use ASL. Sometimes our signing was

humorous to them, but they were never unkind. Some of the people from that

community have become a great resource for me. We will be attending another

weekend again in the Spring because it learned so much from the first one. I've

also been working on my signing (both ASL and SEE), and I'm anxious to see how I

do.

I don't feel like we really fit in with the Deaf community, it's not just that

we are a hearing family with one HOH child. HOH is just one of the many things

our little one has to deal with. Signing may not end up being the best form of

communication for him, his motor skills will probably never be up to it. Also,

his vision is poor. When people sign at him, he is mesmorized by the movement,

but it is lost on him. He know has 3 signs, but they are all modifyed and he

often requires full or partial physical prompting in order to do them.

Marie

abaugh7080 wrote:

the more i learn about HOH / deaf and Deaf, the more questions i have.

does anyone in the group have any experiences good or bad with the Deaf

culture, Deaf groups? the EI team works with the states school for the

Deaf, and this is where we will be taking some beginning ASL classes.

its on the Deaf schools campus, and i've really heard a lot of negative

things about the Deaf cultures acceptance of hearing parents, and HOH

people / kids. is the stuff i'm reading dated? or does the Deaf

community still respond this way? I'm starting to get nervous. anyknow

of any online contacts within the Deaf community? (like groups, chats,

message boards?)

thanks

amanda

All messages posted to this list are private and confidential. Each post is the

intellectual property of the author and therefore subject to copyright

restrictions.

[Guest guest]

abaugh7080 wrote:

the more i learn about HOH / deaf and Deaf, the more questions i have.

does anyone in the group have any experiences good or bad with the Deaf

culture, Deaf groups? the EI team works with the states school for the

Deaf, and this is where we will be taking some beginning ASL classes.

its on the Deaf schools campus, and i've really heard a lot of negative

things about the Deaf cultures acceptance of hearing parents, and HOH

people / kids. is the stuff i'm reading dated? or does the Deaf

community still respond this way? I'm starting to get nervous. anyknow

of any online contacts within the Deaf community? (like groups, chats,

message boards?)

thanks

amanda

We've only had experience with one Deaf couple. I had to take Geoffrey to

class with me one and during my lunch break we were sitting in the student

lounge so he could eat. While there I saw a man walk in and sit at a table (I

see him almost everyday sit at that same table and wait on a woman and then they

eat together, I've also noticed they both sign to each other. So I've always

guessed that at least one is Deaf). I noticed that he was watching us. Maybe

because Geoffrey was using sign or maybe it was his bright blue mold that got

the man's attention. Anyway, the point is he was very nice and we did talk a

little.....my signing skills are poor (I can understand more than I can do and I

have to REALLY think about what I'm trying to say), but he was able to lip read.

He told me that both he and his wife are Deaf and they have 3 children (didn't

say if they were hearing or Deaf). He asked about Geoffrey's hearing. When his

wife got there he got her caught up on what was

going on. They were both very nice, and have since been helping me a little

with my signing.

My Yahoo 360 --> http://360.yahoo.com/lbshaw72432

My webshot albums --> http://community.webshots.com/user/beth_0381

---------------------------------

Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.

[Guest guest]

We've also had good experiences. My husband and I are the parent

members of the NH newborn hearing screening task force and there are a

number of Deaf folks on the task force. All very nice, all very

supportive. They really like my boys as well. I've seen one listserve

where occasionally things will flare up - generally happens by one

person or another - but for the most part, it's very congenial.

Barbara

wrote:

> abaugh7080 wrote:

> the more i learn about HOH / deaf and Deaf, the more questions i have.

> does anyone in the group have any experiences good or bad with the Deaf

> culture, Deaf groups? the EI team works with the states school for the

> Deaf, and this is where we will be taking some beginning ASL classes.

> its on the Deaf schools campus, and i've really heard a lot of negative

> things about the Deaf cultures acceptance of hearing parents, and HOH

> people / kids. is the stuff i'm reading dated? or does the Deaf

> community still respond this way? I'm starting to get nervous. anyknow

> of any online contacts within the Deaf community? (like groups, chats,

> message boards?)

> thanks

> amanda

>

>

> We've only had experience with one Deaf couple. I had to take

> Geoffrey to class with me one and during my lunch break we were

> sitting in the student lounge so he could eat. While there I saw a

> man walk in and sit at a table (I see him almost everyday sit at that

> same table and wait on a woman and then they eat together, I've also

> noticed they both sign to each other. So I've always guessed that at

> least one is Deaf). I noticed that he was watching us. Maybe because

> Geoffrey was using sign or maybe it was his bright blue mold that got

> the man's attention. Anyway, the point is he was very nice and we did

> talk a little.....my signing skills are poor (I can understand more

> than I can do and I have to REALLY think about what I'm trying to

> say), but he was able to lip read. He told me that both he and his

> wife are Deaf and they have 3 children (didn't say if they were

> hearing or Deaf). He asked about Geoffrey's hearing. ! When his wife

> got there he got her caught up on what was

> going on. They were both very nice, and have since been helping me a

> little with my signing.

>

>

>

>

> My Yahoo 360 --> http://360.yahoo.com/lbshaw72432

> My webshot albums --> http://community.webshots.com/user/beth_0381

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I had one not experience that was not so good - post implant and

recently here in PA but that was ONE deaf adult out of the many we

know. We started in the Deaf/HH program in Simi Valley, CA which

was a TC program. In 2002 I decided on the CI for Hayley and have

rarely, if ever, had any negative comments - except for ONE. We

attended the American Society for Deaf Children conference this year

and it was wonderful. It was held at Western PA School for the Deaf,

which is a charter residential and day school for deaf children. We

have about 200 kids and around 30 have CIs. Hayey is surrounded by

wonderful deaf/Deaf role models.

ASDC had been sponsoring the Parent Deaf/HH support group list, a

listserve that was sort of a precursor to this one. I am a member

of both lists; that list has a couple audiologists on it who are

also parents. During break the list has been fairly quiet and there

is one person who is a bit incendiary and she has not posted now for

a while. If your family is interested in sign and the deaf

community that might be a list you might want to join - you can get

to it thru the American Society for Deaf Children Website at

http://www.deafchildren.org.

We try to go to the borders nights the first Friday of every month

which a lot of deaf people attend here in Camp Hill, PA. Another

resource to meet deaf adults is http://www.ohsoez.com.

> the more i learn about HOH / deaf and Deaf, the more questions i

have.

> does anyone in the group have any experiences good or bad with the

Deaf

> culture, Deaf groups? the EI team works with the states school for

the

> Deaf, and this is where we will be taking some beginning ASL

classes.

> its on the Deaf schools campus, and i've really heard a lot of

negative

> things about the Deaf cultures acceptance of hearing parents, and

HOH

> people / kids. is the stuff i'm reading dated? or does the Deaf

> community still respond this way? I'm starting to get nervous.

anyknow

> of any online contacts within the Deaf community? (like groups,

chats,

> message boards?)

> thanks

> amanda

>

>

>

>

>

>

> All messages posted to this list are private and confidential.

Each post is the intellectual property of the author and therefore

subject to copyright restrictions.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

abaugh7080 wrote: <<does anyone in the group have any

experiences good or bad with the Deaf

culture, Deaf groups? >>

I agree with another poster that the Deaf community and people who are deaf

are individuals, so of course you'll run into differing opinions. The Deaf/HOH

individuals we have met have been extremely welcoming to our family. We were

invited to join a silent lunch at a school that for Deaf/HOH children (part of a

public school). Our signing is quite rough and my children have a hard time

keeping up with the conversations (I comprehend much more than I can sign) so

everyone was very understanding and slowed down for us. It was a holiday event

so there were readings of Christmas stories. Our friend made sure we had an

interpreter available to us so we could follow along. The experience was a rich

one for my family. We were wowed by how expressive deaf people are, and we

realize how important our expressions are when talking with Emmett.

I can't say enough good things about our experiences. We are up front about

our signing being rather bad and that we're learning so that we don't get into a

awkward situation. Individuals we've met on vacations and in our daily travels

have also been very welcoming and always get down to Emmett's level to talk with

him.

Good luck with your endeavors,

Johanna

---------------------------------

Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/1/2006 4:21:14 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

abaugh7080@... writes:

and i've really heard a lot of negative

things about the Deaf cultures acceptance of hearing parents, and HOH

people / kids. is the stuff i'm reading dated? or does the Deaf

community still respond this way?

If you've been reading old posts about bad experiences it is possible that

at least one will be mine. When we first started out I ran into many very

un-helpful (is that even a word!) people --doctors, agencies and deaf adults.

The

experiences were very negative -- insulting and hurtful. However, they are

not how I chose to see the Deaf community.

Online I have had an 8-year ongoing email friendship with a lady who is deaf

and a nurse. She has been supportive and informative and one of the first

people to understand what we were going through as a family.

I have found that one-on-one the deaf kids are more friendly than when we

attempted to attend a large picnic with many deaf youngsters who were/are all

classmates together. In that setting, kids are kids and often that means they

are mean and petty.

Since learning some sign and getting my courage up to try again, I've

encounter many more supportive and friendly deaf people. There is a local club

(adults not kids) who have invited us to come to their meetings -- we missed

their open house due to me being sick (ugh).

So, is it easy for a hearing mom to make friends in the deaf community?

Honestly, it depends on which deaf people you meet. Others on this list

encouraged me to not give up. My initial bad experiences were pretty lousy, but

the

ones we've had since then have been great. I don't have any close friends who

are deaf, but I've met more nice people since trying again.

I discovered recently that the man at the local agency was fired soon after

he insulted me. Apparently he had some anger issues and was not exactly a

people person (a surprise huh? LOL) The woman who took his place is warm,

caring

and supportive.

I know I've told this anecdote before, but here it is again. Our son, Ian

(15), is a Boy Scout and on holiday weekends they do a community service

project where they hand out coffee, tea and donuts/snacks at a local highway

rest

stop. Our Ian tends to be quiet and soft spoken -- as a child he was painfully

shy and has worked very hard to overcome that. But at these coffee breaks he

is outgoing, actively offering coffee to everyone who walks by, not just

waiting for someone to ask.

That afternoon, my husband watched as Ian collected a little circle of deaf

people into a full blown coffee claque. One man noticed Ian's aids (bright

blue) and started a conversation. Soon his wife and son can out of the

bathrooms

and joined the coffee/donut break. As they chatted, more D/HOH people joined

them -- strangers just taking a break from their holiday drive. In a matter

of minutes there were almost dozen D/HOH adults talking and signing to each

other, having a lovely conversation.

It was one of those moments that was significant for my husband because at

that point he caught a glimpse of the man our son is becoming. He felt

reassured that our Ian's life was going to be just fine.

So, it really depends on who you meet in the D/deaf community. I've had some

very good and very bad experiences and I'm sure I will encounter more people

who dismiss me because I am the hearing mother of a " not really deaf " child.

And that's okay because it is their loss.

I'm sure there will be those who will smirk condescendingly at my poor slow

signing abilities (especially my inability to read finger-spelling). But for

each of those there'll be someone who will gently correct me when I sign

" right " with my hands turned 45 degrees and inadvertently make the sign for

" erection " -- laughing with me, not at me, as she explained what I was actually

" saying. " The few bad attitudes are not going to scare me away again.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/1/2006 4:21:14 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

abaugh7080@... writes:

and i've really heard a lot of negative

things about the Deaf cultures acceptance of hearing parents, and HOH

people / kids. is the stuff i'm reading dated? or does the Deaf

community still respond this way?

If you've been reading old posts about bad experiences it is possible that

at least one will be mine. When we first started out I ran into many very

un-helpful (is that even a word!) people --doctors, agencies and deaf adults.

The

experiences were very negative -- insulting and hurtful. However, they are

not how I chose to see the Deaf community.

Online I have had an 8-year ongoing email friendship with a lady who is deaf

and a nurse. She has been supportive and informative and one of the first

people to understand what we were going through as a family.

I have found that one-on-one the deaf kids are more friendly than when we

attempted to attend a large picnic with many deaf youngsters who were/are all

classmates together. In that setting, kids are kids and often that means they

are mean and petty.

Since learning some sign and getting my courage up to try again, I've

encounter many more supportive and friendly deaf people. There is a local club

(adults not kids) who have invited us to come to their meetings -- we missed

their open house due to me being sick (ugh).

So, is it easy for a hearing mom to make friends in the deaf community?

Honestly, it depends on which deaf people you meet. Others on this list

encouraged me to not give up. My initial bad experiences were pretty lousy, but

the

ones we've had since then have been great. I don't have any close friends who

are deaf, but I've met more nice people since trying again.

I discovered recently that the man at the local agency was fired soon after

he insulted me. Apparently he had some anger issues and was not exactly a

people person (a surprise huh? LOL) The woman who took his place is warm,

caring

and supportive.

I know I've told this anecdote before, but here it is again. Our son, Ian

(15), is a Boy Scout and on holiday weekends they do a community service

project where they hand out coffee, tea and donuts/snacks at a local highway

rest

stop. Our Ian tends to be quiet and soft spoken -- as a child he was painfully

shy and has worked very hard to overcome that. But at these coffee breaks he

is outgoing, actively offering coffee to everyone who walks by, not just

waiting for someone to ask.

That afternoon, my husband watched as Ian collected a little circle of deaf

people into a full blown coffee claque. One man noticed Ian's aids (bright

blue) and started a conversation. Soon his wife and son can out of the

bathrooms

and joined the coffee/donut break. As they chatted, more D/HOH people joined

them -- strangers just taking a break from their holiday drive. In a matter

of minutes there were almost dozen D/HOH adults talking and signing to each

other, having a lovely conversation.

It was one of those moments that was significant for my husband because at

that point he caught a glimpse of the man our son is becoming. He felt

reassured that our Ian's life was going to be just fine.

So, it really depends on who you meet in the D/deaf community. I've had some

very good and very bad experiences and I'm sure I will encounter more people

who dismiss me because I am the hearing mother of a " not really deaf " child.

And that's okay because it is their loss.

I'm sure there will be those who will smirk condescendingly at my poor slow

signing abilities (especially my inability to read finger-spelling). But for

each of those there'll be someone who will gently correct me when I sign

" right " with my hands turned 45 degrees and inadvertently make the sign for

" erection " -- laughing with me, not at me, as she explained what I was actually

" saying. " The few bad attitudes are not going to scare me away again.

Best -- Jill

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/1/2006 4:21:14 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

abaugh7080@... writes:

and i've really heard a lot of negative

things about the Deaf cultures acceptance of hearing parents, and HOH

people / kids. is the stuff i'm reading dated? or does the Deaf

community still respond this way?

If you've been reading old posts about bad experiences it is possible that

at least one will be mine. When we first started out I ran into many very

un-helpful (is that even a word!) people --doctors, agencies and deaf adults.

The

experiences were very negative -- insulting and hurtful. However, they are

not how I chose to see the Deaf community.

Online I have had an 8-year ongoing email friendship with a lady who is deaf

and a nurse. She has been supportive and informative and one of the first

people to understand what we were going through as a family.

I have found that one-on-one the deaf kids are more friendly than when we

attempted to attend a large picnic with many deaf youngsters who were/are all

classmates together. In that setting, kids are kids and often that means they

are mean and petty.

Since learning some sign and getting my courage up to try again, I've

encounter many more supportive and friendly deaf people. There is a local club

(adults not kids) who have invited us to come to their meetings -- we missed

their open house due to me being sick (ugh).

So, is it easy for a hearing mom to make friends in the deaf community?

Honestly, it depends on which deaf people you meet. Others on this list

encouraged me to not give up. My initial bad experiences were pretty lousy, but

the

ones we've had since then have been great. I don't have any close friends who

are deaf, but I've met more nice people since trying again.

I discovered recently that the man at the local agency was fired soon after

he insulted me. Apparently he had some anger issues and was not exactly a

people person (a surprise huh? LOL) The woman who took his place is warm,

caring

and supportive.

I know I've told this anecdote before, but here it is again. Our son, Ian

(15), is a Boy Scout and on holiday weekends they do a community service

project where they hand out coffee, tea and donuts/snacks at a local highway

rest

stop. Our Ian tends to be quiet and soft spoken -- as a child he was painfully

shy and has worked very hard to overcome that. But at these coffee breaks he

is outgoing, actively offering coffee to everyone who walks by, not just

waiting for someone to ask.

That afternoon, my husband watched as Ian collected a little circle of deaf

people into a full blown coffee claque. One man noticed Ian's aids (bright

blue) and started a conversation. Soon his wife and son can out of the

bathrooms

and joined the coffee/donut break. As they chatted, more D/HOH people joined

them -- strangers just taking a break from their holiday drive. In a matter

of minutes there were almost dozen D/HOH adults talking and signing to each

other, having a lovely conversation.

It was one of those moments that was significant for my husband because at

that point he caught a glimpse of the man our son is becoming. He felt

reassured that our Ian's life was going to be just fine.

So, it really depends on who you meet in the D/deaf community. I've had some

very good and very bad experiences and I'm sure I will encounter more people

who dismiss me because I am the hearing mother of a " not really deaf " child.

And that's okay because it is their loss.

I'm sure there will be those who will smirk condescendingly at my poor slow

signing abilities (especially my inability to read finger-spelling). But for

each of those there'll be someone who will gently correct me when I sign

" right " with my hands turned 45 degrees and inadvertently make the sign for

" erection " -- laughing with me, not at me, as she explained what I was actually

" saying. " The few bad attitudes are not going to scare me away again.

Best -- Jill