RE: discouraged

[Guest guest]

Hi - I just wanted to add my .02 cents and hope that it helps in some

way.

I know what it feels like to be un-motivated to lose weight. My story is

much the same as s shared with you. I gained 80 pounds

after reaching my goal weight and walking 60 miles in a 3 day event to

raise money for breast cancer. That 80 pounds has been here for over 2

years. I spent a lot of time with the " shoulds " and " I-ought-to's " - but

they never motivated me. ( " been there, done that, don't want to do it

again " was my mantra about dieting)

I'd heard the old saying, " You have to get sick and tired of being sick

and tired. " And I thought I WAS sick and tired of being sick and tired.

At about the 50 lb mark, I thought I was ready to lose weight. But I

wasn't.

Finally when I reached my highest weight, I started REALLY getting

uncomfortable. Physically uncomfortable. And finally I found some

motivation (pain seems to motivate me!) My knees hurt, my back ached. I

couldn't climb a flight of stairs without wheezing. I - who used to walk

20 miles on Saturday, then turn around and do it again on Sunday -

couldn't make it around the block without stopping to take a break. I

spent about 3 months at my highest weight....whining about how things

were so much better " way back when " and I wish I could lose weight

(waaa, waaa, waaa) and (head thrown back, melodramtically yelling) I

WISH I'D NEVER KNOWN WHAT BEING THIN WAS LIKE!!!! (it was a MAJOR pity

party)

And then one day, I decided, " I'll go join Weight Watchers. " (again) I'd

" done " Weight Watchers before...hated the meetings...didn't do the

work...then blamed the program. But I don't know...I guess I was just

desperate or something. I'd already done Atkins, the Zone, Craig,

Dr. Phil, Ediets, etc...ad nauseum...but I was in pain physically and

wanted that to change. I knew that WW was the healthiest way to lose

weight...and I also knew that I needed someone to teach me how to not

gain it all back. WW seemed to be the only eating plan that I could

truly live with the rest of my life.

But here's the stinky thing. I lost 20 lbs and started feeling pretty

good. I don't hurt as much now. I can make it all the way through a 30

minute easy exercise video (something I couldn't do at my heaviest

weight!) soooo....what's my motivation now? So, I *started* - but I

still have to find the motivation every single day. (sorry if that isn't

encouraging! LOL!) But I just want you to know that you don't have to

wait for motivation to fall on you. If we had to wait for that...well,

let's just say that my house would never get cleaned, I'd never cook

dinner, I wouldn't educate my kids, I'd just let my entire life fall

apart and watch movies all the time.

Long story short...there *might* be something that gets you started on

the road to losing weight, getting stronger, getting healthier, living a

better quality of life....but it might not be the thing that sustains

you.

Motivations change...sometimes daily....and sometimes we're just NOT

motivated.....and that's OK.

A couple thoughts and then I'll go....

you're NOT a dropout. You just took a break. So, it's time to start

again. Be kind to yourself.

you don't have to do this perfectly to have it work. You just have to

get some of it right on a fairly consistent basis. So give yourself

permission to not be perfect. (I met a woman who did WW perfectly...and

I mean PERFECTLY...to a " T " ... and then gained all her weight back. She

lost it again (this time by NOT doing it perfectly!) She is a leader now

and tells everyone, " If you are doing this perfectly...be careful...you

might just be a professional dieter - not really making a lifestyle

change " and she encourages everyone she meets because she reminds us

there is victory even in the midst of struggle!)

Check to see if you fall prey to " all or nothing " thinking. Because this

(weight loss) isn't a pass/fail - black/white - perfection/failure

thing. It's a journey. A long, winding road.

And embrace your life. All of it. The good the bad the ugly. (and the

droopy!) it's the only life you have.

I really believe you can reach your goal - to lose those 20 lbs. So what

if it doesn't look tight and buff. So what? You've given birth, you've

nurtured and loved, you've laughed, you've cried, you've experienced

passion about SO many things in life. THAT is REAL LIVING. That poochy

tummy...REAL LIFE. Those wrinkles...REAL LIFE. Those bumpy thighs...REAL

LIFE. That grey hair...OK...there's Clairol. (LOL)

Now somebody please tell me all this when I'm feeling discouraged OK???

I know you can do it! So go do it!

in CO

(who will go take off her cheerleader suit now)

pattreid wrote:

I'm a dropout, and I hate the direction I have taken. While I'm still 10

lbs below my ATH

(all-time high), I am also 20 lbs above my goal. I tried going back to

meetings but found I

really wasn't doing the work, so I quit. Recent photos (rear view, of

all things) from a trip I

took with my granddaughter have shocked me, but I don't know why I still

can't get

motivated. I think that the unpleasant direction a body takes with age

is playing into it

(meaning that even with weight loss, I'll never be young and firm

again....). If anyone has

any suggestions, I'm open. I know I have to " just do it " , but I keep

postponing.....

[Guest guest]

Hi.

I think that almost everyone here knows that " discouraged " feeling when we

have succeeded in losing weight, gained back some weight, can't get the

motivation to get back on track. This losing weight thing is a mind game;

too bad we don't have a switch in our heads to turn ourselves back onto

keeping on the program like we know we should--and like we really want to

do, truth be known.

The advice given here has been really good. One thing I would add: when

members in my meetings express this emotion and are discouraged, I try to

tell them, " You know what? We can feel good because we're still here. "

Sometimes we cannot take satisfaction in following every element of the plan

or in what the scale says. But, the fact that we are still in there

plugging, sometimes that, in and of itself, is worth celebrating. Go to

meetings. Reread the " Getting Started " book. Look carefully at the " Tools

for Living " section. If you see something there you'd like some more

information about, ask the meeting leader. He/she should have worksheets

for each of them that might help you.

In the end, you will bring yourself back around. And if you are still in

there " tredding water, " so to speak, the time before you do begin again the

things you know you should do will shorten. Celebrate yourself each time

you keep track of points each day. If you cannot celebrate what you ate

with the points, then don't; just celebrate the fact that you did write it

down. Celebrate each day that you drink 6 glasses of water. Celebrate each

day you walk 20 minutes--or 30, or whatever you do; each time you make sure

you have two servings of milk; each time you eat 5 fruits/vegetables. Write

it down somewhere, and feel satisfaction in doing something healthy for

yourself!

Do not worry about EVERYTHING right now. Look at the small elements,

concentrate on one or two of those at a time, gain confidence from doing

those smaller things, and then, eventually, your healthy lifestyle wil

reassert itself. I have found this to be helpful in my own life; I hope

perhaps it can help someone else as well.

And, anyone who has overcome one of those periods of " backsliding, " I

appreciate all experiences shared! I have very seldom met someone who lost

weight and then had an easy time of it the rest of their lives--or the rest

of the month, usually! The sharing of that experience can only help others

learn how best to handle it.

Thank you all for sharing!

Jana

Apex, NC

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[Guest guest]

This thread wasn't directed at me but boy it has hit home. Thanks for the

great pep talk. I have been so off program for the last couple of days and have

felt so miserable because of it. I had a hysterectomy 3 weeks ago today, and I

have been using that as an excuse to not stay OP. I don't feel well, I can't

exercise, I deserve a snack because I am hurting, you know all the lame excuses.

I needed a kick in the butt and thanks to you guys I am back on track, as of

right now. I know I have blown it for the day, but tonight is going to be an OP

meal and then I am going to do some serious meal planning and grocery shopping

to help me stay on track. Thanks you guys!!!

In His Grip!

Betsy from NC

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee, because he

trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3

Each morning I wake up,

I choose to take a step forward,

A step back, or remain the same!

[Guest guest]

Thank you for sharing,

I found the part about what the WW leader said particularly inspiring:

She is a leader now

and tells everyone, " If you are doing this perfectly...be careful...you

might just be a professional dieter - not really making a lifestyle

change " and she encourages everyone she meets because she reminds us

there is victory even in the midst of struggle!)

Check to see if you fall prey to " all or nothing " thinking. Because this

(weight loss) isn't a pass/fail - black/white - perfection/failure

thing. It's a journey. A long, winding road.

[Guest guest]

wow...thats something to think about huh? i never thought about it like that.

>

>

> She is a leader now

> and tells everyone, " If you are doing this perfectly...be careful...you

> might just be a professional dieter - not really making a lifestyle

> change " and she encourages everyone she meets because she reminds us

> there is victory even in the midst of struggle!)

>

> Check to see if you fall prey to " all or nothing " thinking. Because this

> (weight loss) isn't a pass/fail - black/white - perfection/failure

> thing. It's a journey. A long, winding road.

>

>

>

>