Re: Still Around

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much Pam. Many times I wish that I had Dr. Baggs as well. Maybe I should have tried to switch to Richmond to begin with. Heck, it's so much closer than going to SSF! My daughter's teacher is having his surgery today at Richmond but I don't know who his surgeon is. I've gotten over my jealousy of him; that was really bugging me. I was really jealous and angry at myself for not being happy for him. What a nasty feeling that was. So unlike me because I'm usually not that nasty. No wonder they call it the green eyed monster.

ChrisPamela A Marsh wrote:

Hey I am so happy to hear that you are feelingso much better and I really hope and pray that youcontinue to pursue this thing. I want you on theother side honey and I am here to support you inwhatever way I can. I am sorry, I just think that Dr.Baggs is so sexy and a sweetie and a dear and myhusband knows he is my man on the side, and that Ihave him on my brain all the time (just kidding). Butseriously, he is a very nice man and I wish that hecould be your surgeon as well. Hang in there and Iwill send you as many hugs as it takes. Big HUG toyou honey. Pam Marsh--- chris lopez wrote:> Hi Pam,> > Well, I should re-read the Curves literature because> as you say three times minimum but I've never read> anything in

the literature that says more is bad.> > As for pleasing Dr. Baggs, I sure wish he was my> surgeon!! Unfortunately I have Dr. Li and he has> only been with Kaiser about six months so is new to> the Bariatric program. It wasn't so much needing to> lose more weight, it was his attitude. He was just> downright unfriendly. Even my daughter said she> thought he was a creep--she was sitting right there> and formed her opinion based on hearing the words> from his mouth and not my emotional retelling. > She's gone to every appointment with me, so she's> met everyone and he and Gitty are the only ones she> thinks are mean and nasty. > > So, I've regrouped quite a bit over the weekend and> have a much better attitude, mostly because of the> thought provoking, caring posts from all of you. So> much more therapeutic than

journaling, cause with> journaling you don't get any feedback!> > Thanks for the hug--I needed it.> > Chris> > Pamela A Marsh wrote:> I am not sure what curves you go to but the> one> I go to say, yes, a minimum of three times per week> and they discourage you against going more than that> (because your muscles need time to regroup and heal)> but won't stop you if you decided to come six days a> week.> > As far as you pleasing Dr. Baggs, that was not my> request. The point I was trying to make was> this...if> the surgeon feels that it is in YOUR best interest> to> lose additional weight then maybe it is not a bad> idea. I know that is not something that you want to> hear but I think they have done so many of these> surgeries and seen outcomes (the good

and bad) and I> truly believe he was just trying to look out for> you. > This weight loss thing is HARD. I know. Struggled> for 13 years with it until I had the surgery. > > Whatever you decide we are here to support> you> and not to go against you. I sure hate you are> dealing with this situation but I truly believe that> if you stay the course (even filing your grievance)> if> you think that is what you need to do, you will be a> testimony for someone else that will come along and> might experience the same thing. Hang in there and> know that we all care about you. If having this> surgery is what you REALLY want then don't throw the> towel in honey rather regroup and look at what your> next move is and move. We are all rooting for you. > Big hug to you.> > Pam Marsh-KP Richmond/Dr. Park

& Dr. Baggs> 10 weeks post op> 190-59.5 pounds gone but not forgotten> > --- chris lopez wrote:> > > HI,> > > > I'll address one of your first comments last. > > Curves asks you to commit a MINIMUM of three times> a> > week and if you can do more they want you too. We> > try for everyday hoping that at least it will be> > three times a week!> > > > As for the process, I'm sick of the whole thing. > I> > keep thinking that if it isn't working it must not> > be for me. I've never been one to try to put> square> > pegs in round wholes and that's what this is all> > about. I'm convinced that I'm being shown that> this> > was the wrong decision for me. Aftera while> beating> > your head against a brick

wall is just stupid and> > not very much fun. I'm never going to please this> > idiot and realize I don't want to. I've spent my> > life trying to please other people. In the last 28> > years, my employer has spent hundreds of thousands> > of dollars in health premiums to Kaiser and I> > shouldn't have to beg for something that I need. > > Must be that I don't need it. God made me how I> am> > and maybe it's just not meant to be any different.> I> > making myself ill over something that is supposed> to> > make like better. Maybe this is as good as it's> > ever going to get.> > > > Chris> > > > Pamela A Marsh > wrote:> > honey, you are going to be fine. The process> > that we have to go through is definitely an

eye> > opener> > in some aspects. As you go through the process,> > remember that this is just that...a process and> that> > it won't always be like that. You have to refocus> > for> > a moment and say what is important to me here? > > Having> > the surgery, losing the weight and be healthy. > That> > is what is important. Just because you hit a bump> > in> > the road does not mean that you have to completely> > run> > all the way off the road. Remember...steer your> car> > in the direction that you are skidding. If they> > think> > you are not ready then show them you are ready. I> > am> > not sure what SF requires you to do but I knew> what> > Richmond wanted from me so I gave it to them. It> > was> > hard

but I was determined that nothing they were> > going> > to say or do to me was going to stop me from> having> > that surgery. There were days when I felt like> > giving> > up. For example. The day before my surgery (well> > three days because they called me at the end of> the> > day on Friday and I was suppose to go into surgery> > on> > Tuesday) I got the call saying it was canceled> > because> > of a cancer patient that needed to have emergency> > surgery. I got so mad. I mean it was only pushed> > back one more week. I went off my diet and said> the> > heck with this. I admit it. I did have a burger> > and> > fries, but it could have been so much worse than> > that.> > On the way home I had talk myself into the fact>

that> > it was okay for me to just binge because I had> > earned> > it and now they think that with one little phone> > call> > they can destroy all my hard work. I could have> > eaten> > ice cream and cookies and candy and soda and etc.> > but> > I did not. I stopped after a cheeseburger and> small> > fries because that was enough guilt for me knowing> > that I was on a tail spin to ruin everything I had> > worked so hard for. And it did not taste that> good> > at> > all. I got back on program and stayed the course> > until I had the surgery. You can do this. This> is> > just a minor set back. Give them what they want.> > > Try to get into one suppor group meeting a month. > > You> > don't have to go to curves

everyday. The only> > recommend 3 days as your muscles need time to> > recoup. > > Anymore than three days is setting yourself up for> > major burn out. And if you can't get to the gym> > more> > than two times, pick a day and just take a stroll,> > even if only 10 minutes. You know that you are> > ready> > but they don't. I hope this helps and hang in> > there.> > > > Pam Marsh-KP Richmond/Dr. Park & Dr. Baggs 9 weeks> > postop> > 190-59.5 pounds gone.> > > > > > --- chris lopez wrote:> === message truncated === __________________________________ Yahoo! Mail Mobile Take Yahoo! Mail with you! Check email on your mobile phone. http://mobile.yahoo.com/learn/mail

[Guest guest]

Hey, its okay. The important thing is not whether or

not you where jealous but the fact that you reconized

it and admitted it. Time changes all things and you

get stronger with every obstacle. I wish the teacher

a speedy surgery and recovery free of any mishaps.

Your time will come and we will be anxiously awaiting

a report from your angel. Please stay connected with

us so that we can encourage you on your journey. Take

care.

Pam Marsh

--- chris lopez clopez57@...> wrote:

> Thanks so much Pam. Many times I wish that I had

> Dr. Baggs as well. Maybe I should have tried to

> switch to Richmond to begin with. Heck, it's so

> much closer than going to SSF! My daughter's

> teacher is having his surgery today at Richmond but

> I don't know who his surgeon is. I've gotten over

> my jealousy of him; that was really bugging me. I

> was really jealous and angry at myself for not being

> happy for him. What a nasty feeling that was. So

> unlike me because I'm usually not that nasty. No

> wonder they call it the green eyed monster.

>

> Chris

>

> Pamela A Marsh sweetnlow20012001@...> wrote:

> Hey I am so happy to hear that you are

> feeling

> so much better and I really hope and pray that you

> continue to pursue this thing. I want you on the

> other side honey and I am here to support you in

> whatever way I can. I am sorry, I just think that

> Dr.

> Baggs is so sexy and a sweetie and a dear and my

> husband knows he is my man on the side, and that I

> have him on my brain all the time (just kidding).

> But

> seriously, he is a very nice man and I wish that he

> could be your surgeon as well. Hang in there and I

> will send you as many hugs as it takes. Big HUG to

> you honey.

>

> Pam Marsh

> --- chris lopez clopez57@...> wrote:

>

> > Hi Pam,

> >

> > Well, I should re-read the Curves literature

> because

> > as you say three times minimum but I've never read

> > anything in the literature that says more is bad.

> >

> > As for pleasing Dr. Baggs, I sure wish he was my

> > surgeon!! Unfortunately I have Dr. Li and he has

> > only been with Kaiser about six months so is new

> to

> > the Bariatric program. It wasn't so much needing

> to

> > lose more weight, it was his attitude. He was

> just

> > downright unfriendly. Even my daughter said she

> > thought he was a creep--she was sitting right

> there

> > and formed her opinion based on hearing the words

> > from his mouth and not my emotional retelling.

> > She's gone to every appointment with me, so she's

> > met everyone and he and Gitty are the only ones

> she

> > thinks are mean and nasty.

> >

> > So, I've regrouped quite a bit over the weekend

> and

> > have a much better attitude, mostly because of the

> > thought provoking, caring posts from all of you.

> So

> > much more therapeutic than journaling, cause with

> > journaling you don't get any feedback!

> >

> > Thanks for the hug--I needed it.

> >

> > Chris

> >

> > Pamela A Marsh sweetnlow20012001@...>

> wrote:

> > I am not sure what curves you go to but the

> > one

> > I go to say, yes, a minimum of three times per

> week

> > and they discourage you against going more than

> that

> > (because your muscles need time to regroup and

> heal)

> > but won't stop you if you decided to come six days

> a

> > week.

> >

> > As far as you pleasing Dr. Baggs, that was not my

> > request. The point I was trying to make was

> > this...if

> > the surgeon feels that it is in YOUR best interest

> > to

> > lose additional weight then maybe it is not a bad

> > idea. I know that is not something that you want

> to

> > hear but I think they have done so many of these

> > surgeries and seen outcomes (the good and bad) and

> I

> > truly believe he was just trying to look out for

> > you.

> > This weight loss thing is HARD. I know.

> Struggled

> > for 13 years with it until I had the surgery.

> >

> > Whatever you decide we are here to support

> > you

> > and not to go against you. I sure hate you are

> > dealing with this situation but I truly believe

> that

> > if you stay the course (even filing your

> grievance)

> > if

> > you think that is what you need to do, you will be

> a

> > testimony for someone else that will come along

> and

> > might experience the same thing. Hang in there

> and

> > know that we all care about you. If having this

> > surgery is what you REALLY want then don't throw

> the

> > towel in honey rather regroup and look at what

> your

> > next move is and move. We are all rooting for

> you.

> > Big hug to you.

> >

> > Pam Marsh-KP Richmond/Dr. Park & Dr. Baggs

> > 10 weeks post op

> > 190-59.5 pounds gone but not forgotten

> >

> > --- chris lopez clopez57@...> wrote:

> >

> > > HI,

> > >

> > > I'll address one of your first comments last.

> > > Curves asks you to commit a MINIMUM of three

> times

> > a

> > > week and if you can do more they want you too.

> We

> > > try for everyday hoping that at least it will be

> > > three times a week!

> > >

> > > As for the process, I'm sick of the whole thing.

>

> > I

> > > keep thinking that if it isn't working it must

> not

> > > be for me. I've never been one to try to put

> > square

> > > pegs in round wholes and that's what this is all

> > > about. I'm convinced that I'm being shown that

> > this

> > > was the wrong decision for me. Aftera while

> > beating

> > > your head against a brick wall is just stupid

> and

> > > not very much fun. I'm never going to please

> this

> > > idiot and realize I don't want to. I've spent

> my

> > > life trying to please other people. In the last

> 28

> > > years, my employer has spent hundreds of

> thousands

> > > of dollars in health premiums to Kaiser and I

> > > shouldn't have to beg for something that I need.

>

> > > Must be that I don't need it. God made me how I

> > am

> > > and maybe it's just not meant to be any

> different.

> > I

> > > making myself ill over something that is

> supposed

> > to

> > > make like better. Maybe this is as good as it's

> > > ever going to get.

> > >

> > > Chris

> > >

> > > Pamela A Marsh sweetnlow20012001@...>

> > wrote:

> > > honey, you are going to be fine. The

> process

> > > that we have to go through is definitely an eye

> > > opener

> > > in some aspects. As you go through the process,

> > > remember that this is just that...a process and

> > that

> > > it won't always be like that. You have to

> refocus

> > > for

> > > a moment and say what is important to me here?

> > > Having

> > > the surgery, losing the weight and be healthy.

> > That

> > > is what is important. Just because you hit a

> bump

> > > in

> > > the road does not mean that you have to

> completely

>

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Wow, that would be good. I live in Rosemont, over by Watt and Keifer. I

often do take Paratransit, especially when it is cold and rainy, but plan

to start taking busses soon. I guess I didn't realize that you lived in

Sacramento until today, when I read your post. How long have you ben here,

we ccame in '91. I had a customer, back in '95 when I ran this snack bar,

who lived in Rio . She was really having a rough time because someone

had stolen her identity, that was the first time I'd heard of identity

theft. LaWanda At 08:15 AM 4/19/05, you wrote:

>Whoa! Small world. Our last place in San Leandro was on San Leandro

>Boulevard, right across the street from San Leandro Hospital.

>

>Where do you live now? There are Curves all over Sacramento; the one we

>go to in Rio , the best goes right past. If I remember correctly,

>you use Paratransit so would location be a problem? They only charge

>$39.00 monthly; it's the processing fee that's steep. But, they often

>have specials and if you know anyone with an Entertainment Book (the big

>one) there is a coupon for 15% off their current best offer OR I think

>it's half off the processing fee. If Rio works for you, the

>location is moving in a couple of months and they are talking about having

>all kinds of new member discounts. If you want, I can try to get you

>guest passes to try it out; I think those are good at whichever location

>you want to go to.

>

>Chris

>

>LaWanda Ezell konfuzed@...> wrote:

>We moved here from San Leandro. We used to live near East Fourteenth and

>Dutton, on a nice little street called Georgia Way! I used to be quite a

>walker as well, and I hope to get back there. I might join curves too, if

>I can find one that I can get to easily and if it doesn't cost too

>much. Right now I am hooked up with Rehab, wonder if I could get them to

>pay for it. Maybe I'll go on line with my brother and have him look up

>ones for me, or maybe I'll do it myself. LaWanda At 04:28 PM 4/18/05, you

>wrote:

> >Kay,

> >

> >Hurray! You had surgery on 4/12. This is going to sound weird but I

> >always read your posts with such interest because NO ONE knows where San

> >Leandro is and I used to live right across the street from San Leandro

> >Hospital. To think, I could have gotten my act together and walked across

> >the street to have WLS!

> >

> >You're right, I should have posted sooner. I'm such a care taker I hate

> >to bring people down when things are going great for them. I've realized

> >that this is much better than writing in a journal cause you get feedback

> >so I'm going to stop lurking so much and be more open.

> >

> >It's amazing to me that I'm able to do Curves. I can make the three

> >circuits all right and keep my heart rate up. I think part of it is that

> >I only have to stand for a short time and march or whatever before I get

> >to sit down again. Forget walking as exercise, which just slays me. When

> >I lived in San Leandro, I quite often walked to and from the SL BART

> >station to across the street from the hospital and I was heavy then as

> >well. IHey, walking from downtown Safeway to K-Mart was doable when I

> >didn't feel like waiting an hour for the next bus. t's only been the last

> >two years or so that my health has gone crazy and mobility is so hard. I

> >hate it.

> >

> >So, the resignation I have now is not to let this get the best of me. I

> >see Dr. Li again on 5/10 and we'll go from there.

> >

> >Chris

> >

> >

> >

> >Kay biddy@...> wrote:

> >

> >Hi

> >

> >At the moment, I'm recovering from surgery myself - so, please, excuse my

> >taking so long to respond to your posting.

> >

> >I do wish that you hadn't waited the two months before posting here about

> >your discouragement and frustration. This is the perfect place to vent

> >those feelings and to seek help.

> >

> >

> >

> >I hope that you don't mind my asking . . . when Dr. Li said that you

> >weren't ready, what did he say that you need to do to be ready? If he

> >wasn't clear about that, then you definitely need to see someone who can

> >clarify those specifics. You certainly can't work on something if you

> >don't know what it is that you are supposed to be doing.

> >

> >About exercise, Curves and hurting legs - well, I can certainly understand

> >about your legs giving you problems. Before I had my WLS, I was barely

> >mobile. I was literally dragging myself around on crutches. I couldn't

> >have done Curves even if my life depended on it. I am not a big fan of

> >the Curves program in any case . . . but I AM a proponent of any exercise

> >plan that you can do, stick with and not hurt yourself. It is best work

> >not to work the same muscle groups on resistance equipment (or with free

> >weights) more often than one session every other day. For our muscles to

> >get the real benefit from any resistance training, they have to have

> >recovery time. Cardio-type exercise is great every day, even more than

> >once a day. When I was pre-WLS, I couldn't handle much in the way of

> >exercise, but even chair-based exercise that raises your heart rate will

> >be very beneficial. So I worked up to " chair dancing " at least 2 sessions

> >of 15 minutes each per day. I'd suggest that if the Curves work-out is

> >leaving you too wiped-out, then you might need to build up your strength

> >and endurance in other ways first. Just don't let your limitations stop

> >you from some form of cardio exercise every day.

> >

> >You need to get in the habit of going to support groups and actively

> >participating. If the SSF group doesn't work for you, then try another or

> >several more. I am convinced that finding the right group and actively

> >participating in it are key to long-term success. Those times when we are

> >feeling discouraged and frustrated are when we need the group support

> the most.

> >

> >That resignation of which you speak is a very worrisome thing, in my

> >never-too-humble opinion. That sounds so much like the way I would always

> >feel when I was trying to lose weight (before my surgery) and would hit a

> >plateau or some sort of rough spot. Then the old demons would kick in -

> > " I'm just meant to be fat. " - " I'm such a failure . . . " - and so

> >on. Once that sort of thinking took hold, then there was no motivation

> >for continuing to try. So much of this process is mental - it is vital

> >that you can reach a place where you will continue to strive even when you

> >are discouraged.

> >

> >I truly hope that things are looking for you by now. Please, let us know.

> >

> >All the best,

> >

> >Kay

> >in San Leandro

> >open RNY 12/1/03

> >lbl 4/12/05

> >

> >

> >chris lopez wrote:

> >>HI,

> >>

> >>I'm still here, disgusted and frustrated. After I finally saw Dr. Stiles

> >>in February and she told me I had lost enough weight, she referred me to

> >>a surgeon, Dr. Li. I posted a couple of times to see if anyone knew him

> >>but no one responded. Well, I saw him last month and to say it was

> >>horrible is an understatment. He was rude and negative and referred to

> >>himself using the " royal " we. He told me I wasn't ready and when I asked

> >>him why Dr. Stiles would refer me if that was the case he said " Because

> >>Dr. Stiles isn't the surgeon, we are. " . I left there determined to drop

> >>out of the program. Two and a half hours drive from Sacramento for 10

> >>minutes of being made to feel like a piece of crap. I felt he had no

> >>compassion or understanding of what it's like to be morbidly obese and

> >>the difficulty of losing weight. After raging for about 15 minutes and

> >>my daughter telling me off I calmed down and said all right, what do I

> >>have to do to make this idiot happy.

> >>

> >>We joined Curves and like it but it's not going that well. My daughter

> >>and I have both been sick off and on since the holidays so we've only

> >>been about six times in the last month. MY legs hurt so bad sometimes I

> >>can barely walk and that half hour is tough. We've been everyday this

> >>week so that's an improvement. We're trying to get on track and go

> >>everyday. I'm still not sleeping all that well and as we all know, lack

> >>of sleep hinders weight loss. I feel like I'm caught in a huge

> >>whirlpool. To make matters worse, I just heard yesterday that my

> >>daughter's teacher who only got approved in January or so is having

> >>surgery on Tuesday! I'm so damn jealous I'm ashamed of myself. Half the

> >>people I know having surgery got approved after me. I'm so tired of five

> >>hours round trip to SSF for a 10 minutes appointment with more

> >>disappointment. I don't even go to the monthly support groups. After

> >>Gitty made the comment about being tired of seeing the same faces month

> >>after month, I thought, well I'm never going to show my face again!

> >>

> >>My daughter was at Kaiser last week and I ran into a gal who was in

> >>orientation with me last year. She looks fabulous and amazingly, she had

> >>Dr. Li. I told her about my experience and she said he was aloof and

> >>unfriendly but treated her well after surgery, so at least I didn't feel

> >>like I was imagining it. I was supposed to see him this past Tuesday,

> >>but I knew it would be a waste of time so what with the price of gas and

> >>all I just rescheduled for next month. I requested a different surgeon

> >>and they wouldn't give me one.

> >>

> >>So far, this has been one of the most frustrating experiences of my

> >>life. I'm happy for everyone's successes, but it seems like a dream that

> >>is just never going to come true for me. Because of the sleep apnea my

> >>memory and concentration are getting worse, I'm in more and more pain and

> >>all of this is threatening my job becaue my performance is falling

> >>off. I had such high hopes for improved health after surgery, but now

> >>I'm resigning myself that it will never happen.

> >>

> >>Sorry this is such a downer; that's why I haven't written in over two

> >>months but I had to get it out.

> >>

> >>Chris

> >

> >

> >

> >----------

> >

[Guest guest]

I don't know Sacramento all that well because we just moved here in 2000. I know that seems like a long time but we're still learning our way around--the area is sooooooo big. I know that the #19 bus either from Watt and I-8- or Arden-Del Paso go right by the current location. It is moving to a new shopping center this spring and I don't know if the bus goes by there or not--I think it is a different number.LaWanda Ezell wrote:

Wow, that would be good. I live in Rosemont, over by Watt and Keifer. I often do take Paratransit, especially when it is cold and rainy, but plan to start taking busses soon. I guess I didn't realize that you lived in Sacramento until today, when I read your post. How long have you ben here, we ccame in '91. I had a customer, back in '95 when I ran this snack bar, who lived in Rio . She was really having a rough time because someone had stolen her identity, that was the first time I'd heard of identity theft. LaWanda At 08:15 AM 4/19/05, you wrote:>Whoa! Small world. Our last place in San Leandro was on San Leandro >Boulevard, right across the street from San Leandro Hospital.>>Where do you live now? There are Curves all over Sacramento; the one we

>go to in Rio , the best goes right past. If I remember correctly, >you use Paratransit so would location be a problem? They only charge >$39.00 monthly; it's the processing fee that's steep. But, they often >have specials and if you know anyone with an Entertainment Book (the big >one) there is a coupon for 15% off their current best offer OR I think >it's half off the processing fee. If Rio works for you, the >location is moving in a couple of months and they are talking about having >all kinds of new member discounts. If you want, I can try to get you >guest passes to try it out; I think those are good at whichever location >you want to go to.>>Chris>>LaWanda Ezell wrote:>We moved here from San Leandro. We used to live near East Fourteenth and>Dutton, on a nice little street called Georgia

Way! I used to be quite a>walker as well, and I hope to get back there. I might join curves too, if>I can find one that I can get to easily and if it doesn't cost too>much. Right now I am hooked up with Rehab, wonder if I could get them to>pay for it. Maybe I'll go on line with my brother and have him look up>ones for me, or maybe I'll do it myself. LaWanda At 04:28 PM 4/18/05, you>wrote:> >Kay,> >> >Hurray! You had surgery on 4/12. This is going to sound weird but I> >always read your posts with such interest because NO ONE knows where San> >Leandro is and I used to live right across the street from San Leandro> >Hospital. To think, I could have gotten my act together and walked across> >the street to have WLS!> >> >You're right, I should have posted sooner. I'm such a care taker I

hate> >to bring people down when things are going great for them. I've realized> >that this is much better than writing in a journal cause you get feedback> >so I'm going to stop lurking so much and be more open.> >> >It's amazing to me that I'm able to do Curves. I can make the three> >circuits all right and keep my heart rate up. I think part of it is that> >I only have to stand for a short time and march or whatever before I get> >to sit down again. Forget walking as exercise, which just slays me. When> >I lived in San Leandro, I quite often walked to and from the SL BART> >station to across the street from the hospital and I was heavy then as> >well. IHey, walking from downtown Safeway to K-Mart was doable when I> >didn't feel like waiting an hour for the next bus. t's only been the last> >two years or so that

my health has gone crazy and mobility is so hard. I> >hate it.> >> >So, the resignation I have now is not to let this get the best of me. I> >see Dr. Li again on 5/10 and we'll go from there.> >> >Chris> >> >> >> >Kay wrote:> >> >Hi > >> >At the moment, I'm recovering from surgery myself - so, please, excuse my> >taking so long to respond to your posting.> >> >I do wish that you hadn't waited the two months before posting here about> >your discouragement and frustration. This is the perfect place to vent> >those feelings and to seek help.> >> >> >> >I hope that you don't mind my asking . . . when Dr. Li said that you> >weren't ready, what did he say that you need to do to be ready? If he>

>wasn't clear about that, then you definitely need to see someone who can> >clarify those specifics. You certainly can't work on something if you> >don't know what it is that you are supposed to be doing.> >> >About exercise, Curves and hurting legs - well, I can certainly understand> >about your legs giving you problems. Before I had my WLS, I was barely> >mobile. I was literally dragging myself around on crutches. I couldn't> >have done Curves even if my life depended on it. I am not a big fan of> >the Curves program in any case . . . but I AM a proponent of any exercise> >plan that you can do, stick with and not hurt yourself. It is best work> >not to work the same muscle groups on resistance equipment (or with free> >weights) more often than one session every other day. For our muscles to> >get the real benefit from

any resistance training, they have to have> >recovery time. Cardio-type exercise is great every day, even more than> >once a day. When I was pre-WLS, I couldn't handle much in the way of> >exercise, but even chair-based exercise that raises your heart rate will> >be very beneficial. So I worked up to "chair dancing" at least 2 sessions> >of 15 minutes each per day. I'd suggest that if the Curves work-out is> >leaving you too wiped-out, then you might need to build up your strength> >and endurance in other ways first. Just don't let your limitations stop> >you from some form of cardio exercise every day.> >> >You need to get in the habit of going to support groups and actively> >participating. If the SSF group doesn't work for you, then try another or> >several more. I am convinced that finding the right group and

actively> >participating in it are key to long-term success. Those times when we are> >feeling discouraged and frustrated are when we need the group support > the most.> >> >That resignation of which you speak is a very worrisome thing, in my> >never-too-humble opinion. That sounds so much like the way I would always> >feel when I was trying to lose weight (before my surgery) and would hit a> >plateau or some sort of rough spot. Then the old demons would kick in -> >"I'm just meant to be fat." - "I'm such a failure . . ." - and so> >on. Once that sort of thinking took hold, then there was no motivation> >for continuing to try. So much of this process is mental - it is vital> >that you can reach a place where you will continue to strive even when you> >are discouraged.> >> >I truly hope that things are looking

for you by now. Please, let us know.> >> >All the best,> >> >Kay> >in San Leandro> >open RNY 12/1/03> >lbl 4/12/05> >> >> >chris lopez wrote:> >>HI,> >>> >>I'm still here, disgusted and frustrated. After I finally saw Dr. Stiles> >>in February and she told me I had lost enough weight, she referred me to> >>a surgeon, Dr. Li. I posted a couple of times to see if anyone knew him> >>but no one responded. Well, I saw him last month and to say it was> >>horrible is an understatment. He was rude and negative and referred to> >>himself using the "royal" we. He told me I wasn't ready and when I asked> >>him why Dr. Stiles would refer me if that was the case he said "Because> >>Dr. Stiles isn't the surgeon, we are.". I left

there determined to drop> >>out of the program. Two and a half hours drive from Sacramento for 10> >>minutes of being made to feel like a piece of crap. I felt he had no> >>compassion or understanding of what it's like to be morbidly obese and> >>the difficulty of losing weight. After raging for about 15 minutes and> >>my daughter telling me off I calmed down and said all right, what do I> >>have to do to make this idiot happy.> >>> >>We joined Curves and like it but it's not going that well. My daughter> >>and I have both been sick off and on since the holidays so we've only> >>been about six times in the last month. MY legs hurt so bad sometimes I> >>can barely walk and that half hour is tough. We've been everyday this> >>week so that's an improvement. We're trying to get on track

and go> >>everyday. I'm still not sleeping all that well and as we all know, lack> >>of sleep hinders weight loss. I feel like I'm caught in a huge> >>whirlpool. To make matters worse, I just heard yesterday that my> >>daughter's teacher who only got approved in January or so is having> >>surgery on Tuesday! I'm so damn jealous I'm ashamed of myself. Half the> >>people I know having surgery got approved after me. I'm so tired of five> >>hours round trip to SSF for a 10 minutes appointment with more> >>disappointment. I don't even go to the monthly support groups. After> >>Gitty made the comment about being tired of seeing the same faces month> >>after month, I thought, well I'm never going to show my face again!> >>> >>My daughter was at Kaiser last week and I ran into a gal who was

in> >>orientation with me last year. She looks fabulous and amazingly, she had> >>Dr. Li. I told her about my experience and she said he was aloof and> >>unfriendly but treated her well after surgery, so at least I didn't feel> >>like I was imagining it. I was supposed to see him this past Tuesday,> >>but I knew it would be a waste of time so what with the price of gas and> >>all I just rescheduled for next month. I requested a different surgeon> >>and they wouldn't give me one.> >>> >>So far, this has been one of the most frustrating experiences of my> >>life. I'm happy for everyone's successes, but it seems like a dream that> >>is just never going to come true for me. Because of the sleep apnea my> >>memory and concentration are getting worse, I'm in more and more pain and> >>all of

this is threatening my job becaue my performance is falling> >>off. I had such high hopes for improved health after surgery, but now> >>I'm resigning myself that it will never happen.> >>> >>Sorry this is such a downer; that's why I haven't written in over two> >>months but I had to get it out.> >>> >>Chris> >> >> >> >----------> >