Guest guest Posted January 6, 2001 Report Share Posted January 6, 2001 TODAY'S LAUGH: A SPECIAL POST-HOLIDAY LAMENT > > 'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the > > house, > > Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. > > The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd tasted, > > At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. > > > > When I got on the scales there arose such a number! > > When I walked to the store (less a walk than a > > lumber), > > I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared, > > The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared; > > > > The wine and the rum balls; the bread and the cheese, > > and the way I'd never said, " No thank you, please. " > > As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt, and > > prepared once again to do > > battle with dirt, > > I said to myself, as only I can, " You can't spend a > > winter disguised as a > > man! " > > > > So, away with the last of the sour cream dip. > > Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip. > > Every last bit of food that I like must be banished, > > 'til all the additional ounces have vanished. > > > > I won't have a cookie--not even a lick. > > I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. > > I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, > > I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. > > > > I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore, > > But isn't that what January is for? > > Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. > > Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet! > > -- Submitted by Mark Anchor > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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