Re: dont have the strenght

[Guest guest]

Debb,

Noone can tell you how long you have. They can give an estimate or guess. Breast

cancer is not always slow growing. You can say no treatment but with it being

grade 3 I don't think I would but that a personal decision. Personally I would

not wait till spring.

The first thing I would do would ask for some antidepressants. I can hear the

depression in this post. Do you have any family or friends that could help? How

about people at your church? As far as money goes I paid my hosptial and doctor

$20 mo till it was paid off. It took me forever but I finally got it paid. I

will keep you in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life

http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

BreastCancerStories.com

http://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/

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www.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.com

Check out my other ornaments at

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Lots of info and gifts at:

www.cancerclub.com

dont have the strenght

I have really been thinking, my mind wont rest.

Iam alone,single. I must keep my job. I dont feel like i can do this

alone. iam worryed about money etc. Id rather have a few good years,

rather then months of hell, and risk losing my job..I meet with the

surgon mon. I just want to know how long if i dont do any thing?breast

cancer grows slow right?? all i know about mine its grade 3, and they

want to do a mas, possible both. like if i did have the surgery, can i

say no to treatment after?... quality of life is important, i cant do

this alone, i dont want to, ive had a good life.i just want this to go

away, i wish i had never found the lump, and wish i hadnt gone to the

dr. can i stall my decision untill the spring, i need to get the

holidays over. I want to put my head in the sand, and not deal with

this.

debb

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[Guest guest]

debb,

First, let me assure you that you are not alone..... there are so many of us

here to help you through this. I know it may not seem like an on-line support

group can give you the support you crave... but we can, we can be here any time,

to give you a place to vent, to give you a place to cry, to ask questions, to

get those answers, etc., etc. It's not unusual to feel helpless and hopeless....

but talk to your doctor. He'll know how to help you.

Yes, quality of life is important.... but LIFE is important. Talk to your

doctor, listen to his recommendations. Going through treatment is not easy, but

it is doable and can give you many, many more years of good quality of life.

We are all here for you. Just let us know how we can help.

Barb

Michigan

dont have the strenght

I have really been thinking, my mind wont rest.

Iam alone,single. I must keep my job. I dont feel like i can do this

alone. iam worryed about money etc. Id rather have a few good years,

rather then months of hell, and risk losing my job..I meet with the

surgon mon. I just want to know how long if i dont do any thing?breast

cancer grows slow right?? all i know about mine its grade 3, and they

want to do a mas, possible both. like if i did have the surgery, can i

say no to treatment after?... quality of life is important, i cant do

this alone, i dont want to, ive had a good life.i just want this to go

away, i wish i had never found the lump, and wish i hadnt gone to the

dr. can i stall my decision untill the spring, i need to get the

holidays over. I want to put my head in the sand, and not deal with

this.

debb

[Guest guest]

Hi Debb,

My heart goes out to you reading your email.

First of all, you are not alone. This group is several hundred women

strong and we are here to make sure you go through this journey with

alot of support, encouragement, wisdom, and humor.

Cancer is an overwhelming diagnosis. Try to focus on getting through a

day at a time. Your hospital should have a social worker you can talk to

who can help you with connecting you to a support group, financial aid,

or just listen to your concerns. The local American Cancer Society also

is a good source.

Debb, have you had surgery yet? Do you have a pathology report that will

tell what kind of bc you have and its staging? This is vital information

that will help you and your doctor determine what your treatment will be.

Some treatments are easier to handle than others. Each woman's

experience is different, and I hope yours will be easier. Even if you

have side effects, there is medication you can take to counter them.

Think of the treatment as a period in your life to get through to

continue having a good quality of life.

Can you talk to Human Resources at your job? You may be able to take a

leave of absence or be entitled to some sick days. But this is just

looking ahead. First you need to find out your stage, cancer type, and

what your oncologist recommends for treatment.

Debb, there are alot of women in this group who are going through

treatment, and they can support you. And there are many women who are

finished with treatment and cheering for you and others to get to the

finish line!

take care,

[Guest guest]

deb--I'm a widow and the sole support for me and my 8 year old son.

I have no family here in the city.

first, take one step at a time--I felt like I was hit with a 2 by 4

when the doc told me I had bc--shit, I *still* feel the way you do -

I wish I never felt the lump, I wish this never happened...it's

suchan INTRUSION!

anyway, take one step at a time. I dont know what kind of work you

do...talk to your boss though, after you have more information. Find

out how much time you have (for example, I was able to stay home

this summer because I had enough sick and vacation time).

Look at what you have - do you have short-term disability? The

Family Medical Leave act wont allow an amployer to fire you based on

disability/illness. Does the hospital your doctor is affiliated with

have a social worker? Talk to him/her about services, etc.

I thought I couldn't get thhrough this...feeling fine some days

and ike shit on other days...but the days keep marching on, and

there is an end to all of this...the decesion is, as always,

entirely up to you as to whether you opt for treatment or

not...please, though, make sure it's an informed decision and not

one based entirely on emotions...

and stick with us here... lots of voices, lots of support, lots of

experience.

peace

maria

>

> I have really been thinking, my mind wont rest.

> Iam alone,single. I must keep my job. I dont feel like i can do

this

> alone. iam worryed about money etc. Id rather have a few good

years,

> rather then months of hell, and risk losing my job..I meet with

the

> surgon mon. I just want to know how long if i dont do any thing?

breast

> cancer grows slow right?? all i know about mine its grade 3, and

they

> want to do a mas, possible both. like if i did have the surgery,

can i

> say no to treatment after?... quality of life is important, i cant

do

> this alone, i dont want to, ive had a good life.i just want this

to go

> away, i wish i had never found the lump, and wish i hadnt gone to

the

> dr. can i stall my decision untill the spring, i need to get the

> holidays over. I want to put my head in the sand, and not deal

with

> this.

> debb

>

[Guest guest]

Debb,

I too am single and alone with no family here. I was diagnosed with Stage 3

breast cancer on Sept 18. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I too found

my lump and wish I hadn't but that doesn't change the fact that it was there.

I've had two surgeries and one chemo treatment so far and have only missed a few

days of work.

I don't have any money either...I'm my only sole source of support. And it's

going to be hard but it sure beats the alternative. I've decided that people

are just going to have to work with me and I will pay what I can when I can.

I suggest that you contact the American Cancer Society or another cancer group

and find out about support groups in your area. This can be of big help to you.

You are not alone, you really aren't. You just haven't met the others who have

and are going through what you are.

I suggest that you talk to your doctor about anti-depressants and anti-anxiety

medication. I am on Prozac and Ativan and they have help tremendously. What

you are feeling and going through are normal and if some medication can help you

cope, then you should try it.

The one thing I do have here are my co-workers and friends. If you don't have

any that are supportive then you go out and make new friends. You already have

a bunch of new friends here on this group.

Don't ignore this, don't put it off. No one can tell you if your cancer will

spread quickly or slowly or where or how. Take one step at a time, that's how I

am doing it. First was the lumpectomy, then more lymph nodes removed, now

chemo, then after chemo I will have a mastectomy, then radiation and

reconstruction. Try not to let it overwhelm you. Break it down into little

steps and deal with each step one at time. And don't forget your doctor is part

of your support group. Talk to him/her and let them know your concerns and

fears.

Hugs,

purtell92 wrote:

I have really been thinking, my mind wont rest.

Iam alone,single. I must keep my job. I dont feel like i can do this

alone. iam worryed about money etc. Id rather have a few good years,

rather then months of hell, and risk losing my job..I meet with the

surgon mon. I just want to know how long if i dont do any thing?breast

cancer grows slow right?? all i know about mine its grade 3, and they

want to do a mas, possible both. like if i did have the surgery, can i

say no to treatment after?... quality of life is important, i cant do

this alone, i dont want to, ive had a good life.i just want this to go

away, i wish i had never found the lump, and wish i hadnt gone to the

dr. can i stall my decision untill the spring, i need to get the

holidays over. I want to put my head in the sand, and not deal with

this.

debb

and her Wonderful Wascally Weasels

Frontier Ferrets Rescue and Shelter

[Guest guest]

Debb,

I can SO relate to how you are feeling. Our situations may be different, but

our feelings seem very, very similar. On Oct. 26 I went for a routine

mammo--not overdue or anything and ended up having an ultrasound and core biopsy

immediately. The dr. told me she was 99.9% sure it was a malignant tumor but I

had to wait from 5 pm Thurs. until 6 pm the following Mon. for her to call with

the result that it was malignant. I saw a surgeon on Nov. 2 and two days later

they called with my surgery date--Nov 21--next Tues.

I'm having a mastectomy, they'll do the SNB before the surgery. I have Invasive

Lobular Carcinoma which has a 30% chance of spreading to the other breast. I

would have them both removed now but I also have Multiple Sclerosis and depend

on my arms as I am usually in a power wheelchair.

I'm an RN and was just starting a business when this happened as we could use

the money. 3 of our 5 children (23, 25 and 28) still live with us because they

are disabled (we adopted them when they were babies). My husband's company

went bankrupt several years ago and was bought out by another company and he is

extremely stressed and unhappy.

We're all in the same boat, just different circumstances. This group is

tremendously supportive--hang in there.

Hugs,

Beverly in NY

dont have the strenght

I have really been thinking, my mind wont rest.

Iam alone,single. I must keep my job. I dont feel like i can do this

alone. iam worryed about money etc. Id rather have a few good years,

rather then months of hell, and risk losing my job..I meet with the

surgon mon. I just want to know how long if i dont do any thing?breast

cancer grows slow right?? all i know about mine its grade 3, and they

want to do a mas, possible both. like if i did have the surgery, can i

say no to treatment after?... quality of life is important, i cant do

this alone, i dont want to, ive had a good life.i just want this to go

away, i wish i had never found the lump, and wish i hadnt gone to the

dr. can i stall my decision untill the spring, i need to get the

holidays over. I want to put my head in the sand, and not deal with

this.

debb

[Guest guest]

Dear Debb,

My heart goes out to you....it's such a scary thing to go through, especially

at the beginning. When I first found out I had breast cancer my body went into

freakout mode and I shook for a half hour, while my head went a million miles a

minute with all the " what-ifs " . So far for me, the waiting has been the hardest

part. And I think it's because there are so many questions unanswered..

Knowledge is the key to give you strength. I really, really mean that.... Make

a list of questions to take with you to the surgeon, and take a tape recorder

along, because it's really hard to remember everything that's been said. Make

sure you get answers to all your questions so you'll have the info you need to

make your decision.

The worry I had about paying for it was really hard for me, too, since I

don't have health insurance. Check through your state's department of public

health to see if they have a program to help you. Here in Illinois there's a

program called Illinois Breast and Cervical Cancer Program and they helped me by

paying for my breast exam, mammo, ultrasound and biopsy and then helped me to

get a medical card to cover the surgery. What a load that took off my head!

Something I haven't checked out yet but plan to, is Reach for Recovery,

Support for Survivors and Patients, thru the American Cancer Society. Sounds

like they'll set you up with someone to talk to face to face or by phone to help

get through it all. And something I wish I would have done sooner is ask for

something for calming down. I got Xanax which really helps to take the edge

off, but doesn't zone me out at all.

Try to take it one day at a time sweetheart. Remember to take deep

breaths every once in a while and while you do close your eyes and think of

someplace really nice and be good to yourself. You'll be in my thoughts, Cealy

purtell92 wrote:

I have really been thinking, my mind wont rest.

Iam alone,single. I must keep my job. I dont feel like i can do this

alone. iam worryed about money etc. Id rather have a few good years,

rather then months of hell, and risk losing my job..I meet with the

surgon mon. I just want to know how long if i dont do any thing?breast

cancer grows slow right?? all i know about mine its grade 3, and they

want to do a mas, possible both. like if i did have the surgery, can i

say no to treatment after?... quality of life is important, i cant do

this alone, i dont want to, ive had a good life.i just want this to go

away, i wish i had never found the lump, and wish i hadnt gone to the

dr. can i stall my decision untill the spring, i need to get the

holidays over. I want to put my head in the sand, and not deal with

this.

debb

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Hi Debb,

I read your e-mail and all the responses from these wonderfully

supportive women yesterday and hope you got the feeling that you

definitely are not alone. I was pretty lucky when I was going

through treatment because I did have my family, but they did not

understand what I was going through the way women who have walked the

same road do. I would encourage you to definitely join a support

group. As you'll find out, they are there for more than just

emotional support. When I was going to the group, I was not able to

drive, and the women used to take turns picking me up (some had to

drive 10-15 miles out of their way). I would also encourage you to

contact the American Cancer Society and ask to speak to a Reach to

Recovery Volunteer. I am a volunteer in the NJ area and know that

these women would be available to accompany you to surgery, doctors

appt., etc. If they cannot do it themselves, they will find you the

resources. The volunteers are breast cancer survivors themselves so

they can offer you much support and education.

Take care of yourself and if you take this one day at a time, you'll

be surprised how strong you really can be!!!

Barbara

> > I have really been thinking, my mind wont rest.

> > Iam alone,single. I must keep my job. I dont feel like i can do

this

> > alone. iam worryed about money etc. Id rather have a few good

years,

> > rather then months of hell, and risk losing my job..I meet with

the

> > surgon mon. I just want to know how long if i dont do any thing?

breast

> > cancer grows slow right?? all i know about mine its grade 3, and

they

> > want to do a mas, possible both. like if i did have the surgery,

can i

> > say no to treatment after?... quality of life is important, i

cant do

> > this alone, i dont want to, ive had a good life.i just want this

to go

> > away, i wish i had never found the lump, and wish i hadnt gone to

the

> > dr. can i stall my decision untill the spring, i need to get the

> > holidays over. I want to put my head in the sand, and not deal

with

> > this.

> > debb

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Sponsored Link

> >

> > Mortgage rates near 39yr lows. $420,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

> Calculate new house payment

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Dear, Dear Deb,

I too wanted to hide my head in the sand. Better yet I wanted to be a mushroom

and stay in the dark - been that way all of my life till diagnosed with invasive

breast cancer in Oct. I would not even say the word!

You, my dear are NOT ALONE. Faith is powerful - if you do not belong go to a

church -see the minister, priest or social worker. There are so many people that

would be so willing to help you but they do not know you are suffering because

they do not know you. GO to them and introduce yourself -

God is so powerful and I am praying for you to do this.

Everyone wants it to go away. It will go away if you let the Doctors treat you

- they are compassionate and so are the nurses. You will not be alone - there

are support groups in every hospital and they will wrap their arms around you.

Deb, You won't have a few good years because this will always be on your mind

- 24/ 7. You will go to sleep thinking about it and wake up thinking about it.

So you are alone right now but you are important - you don't have to have

someone to want to live - just yourself - to be able to enjoy the sunrise and

the sunset - to hear the songs of the birds to feel peace within yourself

Please, Please do this e-mail me @ rockportdee@yahoo,com. I care and so do many

other ones here on this support group.

We are all afraid of the unknown but once it is known and we know what to do

we are no longer that afraid.

God bless you my sister

doloresrose.scent-team.com

Once you try Mia Bella candles there will be no other!

CIAO! DEEBELLA

---------------------------------

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