Guest guest Posted October 19, 2003 Report Share Posted October 19, 2003 This is cute and good for a laugh! Have a great weekend! > > Dirt: > > Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter > > against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of > > 15 and leave it alone. > > > > Cobwebs: > > Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, > > thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that > > the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim "What? > > And spoil the mood?" (Or better yet...just throw glitter on them & call > > them holiday decorations). > > > > Pet Hair: > > Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by > > claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play > > animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in > > winter) > > > > Guests: > > If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one > > room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy > > home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love > > you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are > > SO expensive." > > > > g: > > If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the > > coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter > > her > > ashes." > > > > General Cleaning: > > Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of > > water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in > > conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the > > couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere." > > As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie > > pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a > > bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean...Works > > every > > time. > > > > Another favorite: > > I think from Erma Bombeck, always keep several get well cards on the > > mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you've been sick and > > unable > > to clean. You figure if you can live in it, they can surely stand it > > for a 30 minute visit! > > >> ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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