Living Within Limitations

[Guest guest]

Dear Barbara,

I feel wise today and I felt wise yesterday and it is all based on what I

eat. Low-fat, low-sugar seems to keep my brain sane.

When I am in control of my eating everything else follows and I don't feel

like an alien from another planet.

My relationship with my husband and children improve out of sight. I can

handle all the little " things " life throws at me.

And most importantly I can hold my head up high and feel like a real person.

I got sick and tired of being told " You would be so pretty is you would

only lose weight " by well meaning people. My mother and mother-in-law used

to take photos of me to show me how I looked (as if I didn't know). That

sent me bulimic 14 years ago and I vomited my way from 101 kilos to 65

kilos, size 12-14. That is what I am aiming for now. I expect to reach it

by Christmas 2000.

Only truly obese people can understand the mind of another obese person and

that is why I have hooked onto this email list.

Food is the lover I embrace during the lonely times of my life. I think

you can truly relate to that. I always said I wanted to find a man that

would turn me on as much as a mars bar. I have yet to find one. Although

I love my husband and he is very supportive.

There are so many limitation with obesity. The thigh chafes, the rashes

and the foot pain that comes with standing. I was reading an email from

someone who didn't want a job that meant standing up all day and I don't

blame her in the least. I could think of nothing worse. I can stand on my

own two feet for any length of time now but back in the days b.s. (before

surgery) I could not stand up for more than five minutes without pain.

I still have to get this exercise thing going. I actually like exercising

when I do not have the fat limiting my movement. I just can't get

motivated to do anything. But I think about it all the time. Does that

count?

Regards

Neale

pre surgery size 28

psot surgery size 22