Guest guest Posted April 28, 2005 Report Share Posted April 28, 2005 Tina, I am not expert and I am only 11 weeks post op. I am glad that you tried to tell her. Sometimes, all you can do is plant the seed. It just might take her dumping/getting sick to realize that you were right. Encourage her but remember you can't make her do what she needs to do. Either she will get sick, not loose weight or have complications. Its really a choice she needs to make. I know how hard it is to stand by and not be able to make her do what is right. Hang in there sweety and I so glad she has someone like you to keep on own track. She will appreciate it...maybe not now and I agree, she probably was not ready. Many aren't but what can you do. Pam Marsh 185-64.5 pounds gone 11 weeks post op --- Tina ma2two@...> wrote: > I have a question for you all. My sis-in-law had the > surgery 4 weeks > ago yesterday. I've try to be very encouraging to > her and give her > gentle advice but...sometimes I just want to yell at > her! I'm worried > about her. First of all, she wasn't taking her > anti-depressant > because they didn't give it to her in the hospital > so she figured it > was fine. Wrong! Second of all, she was hardly > getting any protein at > all and not very much water. I got her some > Herbalife protein drinks > that have 15 grams of protein per 6-8 oz and are > pretty tasty. Third > of all, I think she is eating things that might not > be the best for > her. Fourth of all, NOT taking her vitamins. I was > gently reminding > her how much better she was going to feel if she got > some more > protein in her and more fluids. She jokingly told me > I was no fun to > call. She knows I mean well but I guess is tired of > hearing it. I'm > worried that she went through this life changing > surgery and was > really not ready and is really not willing to follow > the guidelines > for a successful WLS. She's not eating her protein > first, she is > eating more than 3 times a day, and some of her > meals consist of > strawberries. > > Anyone have any advice on how I can approach her > about this or should > I just butt out OR am I just being too strict and I > shouldn't expect > her to follow the rules that are in my Richmond > binder? > > Any input would be appreciated! > > Tina > Pre-Op / Richmond > Dr. Baggs > weigh-in is on Monday!!!! Yikes! > 330/297/165 some day > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2005 Report Share Posted April 28, 2005 Thanks Pam. I told her it was really hard for me to sit by and watch her floudering and not be able to do anything. She thanked me but I don't think she really heard me. I can't do it for her. I just hope that she does what she needs to do before she gets herself into trouble. Tina Pre-Op/Richmond Dr. Baggs > > I have a question for you all. My sis-in-law had the > > surgery 4 weeks > > ago yesterday. I've try to be very encouraging to > > her and give her > > gentle advice but...sometimes I just want to yell at > > her! I'm worried > > about her. First of all, she wasn't taking her > > anti-depressant > > because they didn't give it to her in the hospital > > so she figured it > > was fine. Wrong! Second of all, she was hardly > > getting any protein at > > all and not very much water. I got her some > > Herbalife protein drinks > > that have 15 grams of protein per 6-8 oz and are > > pretty tasty. Third > > of all, I think she is eating things that might not > > be the best for > > her. Fourth of all, NOT taking her vitamins. I was > > gently reminding > > her how much better she was going to feel if she got > > some more > > protein in her and more fluids. She jokingly told me > > I was no fun to > > call. She knows I mean well but I guess is tired of > > hearing it. I'm > > worried that she went through this life changing > > surgery and was > > really not ready and is really not willing to follow > > the guidelines > > for a successful WLS. She's not eating her protein > > first, she is > > eating more than 3 times a day, and some of her > > meals consist of > > strawberries. > > > > Anyone have any advice on how I can approach her > > about this or should > > I just butt out OR am I just being too strict and I > > shouldn't expect > > her to follow the rules that are in my Richmond > > binder? > > > > Any input would be appreciated! > > > > Tina > > Pre-Op / Richmond > > Dr. Baggs > > weigh-in is on Monday!!!! Yikes! > > 330/297/165 some day > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2005 Report Share Posted April 28, 2005 Thats all you can do honey. I know it probably breaks your heart and probably even makes you a little mad but just know that there is always going to be a situation that we can't control. Life would be so much better if we could control situations but then there would be no freedom of choice and when you think about it, its really about choices. Thanks for standing by and trying to help but she will figure it out. Pam Marsh --- Tina ma2two@...> wrote: > Thanks Pam. I told her it was really hard for me to > sit by and watch > her floudering and not be able to do anything. She > thanked me but I > don't think she really heard me. I can't do it for > her. I just hope > that she does what she needs to do before she gets > herself into > trouble. > > Tina > Pre-Op/Richmond > Dr. Baggs > > > > > I have a question for you all. My sis-in-law had > the > > > surgery 4 weeks > > > ago yesterday. I've try to be very encouraging > to > > > her and give her > > > gentle advice but...sometimes I just want to > yell at > > > her! I'm worried > > > about her. First of all, she wasn't taking her > > > anti-depressant > > > because they didn't give it to her in the > hospital > > > so she figured it > > > was fine. Wrong! Second of all, she was hardly > > > getting any protein at > > > all and not very much water. I got her some > > > Herbalife protein drinks > > > that have 15 grams of protein per 6-8 oz and are > > > pretty tasty. Third > > > of all, I think she is eating things that might > not > > > be the best for > > > her. Fourth of all, NOT taking her vitamins. I > was > > > gently reminding > > > her how much better she was going to feel if she > got > > > some more > > > protein in her and more fluids. She jokingly > told me > > > I was no fun to > > > call. She knows I mean well but I guess is tired > of > > > hearing it. I'm > > > worried that she went through this life changing > > > surgery and was > > > really not ready and is really not willing to > follow > > > the guidelines > > > for a successful WLS. She's not eating her > protein > > > first, she is > > > eating more than 3 times a day, and some of her > > > meals consist of > > > strawberries. > > > > > > Anyone have any advice on how I can approach her > > > about this or should > > > I just butt out OR am I just being too strict > and I > > > shouldn't expect > > > her to follow the rules that are in my Richmond > > > binder? > > > > > > Any input would be appreciated! > > > > > > Tina > > > Pre-Op / Richmond > > > Dr. Baggs > > > weigh-in is on Monday!!!! Yikes! > > > 330/297/165 some day > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2005 Report Share Posted April 28, 2005 Hi Tina, While I admire your concern for your sis-in-law I have to say that she is the only one that can make this work. We can not/should not be responsible for other people's success or failure in any area of life. That's called being a co-dependent. It's weird because the more we try to help, usually the more rebellious the person becomes. Like an addict or alcoholic we can't change them and can only make ourselves crazy trying. I think it's great that you've spoken your piece but that's really all you can do. She's a grown woman and has to make her own choices. Maybe you can just lead by example, continue to do what you know is right and keep silent. She'll notice your silence and when she asks about it you can be perfectly honest with her and voice your concerns at that time. Hopefully her family is supporting her, but even they can't make her do what she's supposed to. ChrisTina wrote: I have a question for you all. My sis-in-law had the surgery 4 weeks ago yesterday. I've try to be very encouraging to her and give her gentle advice but...sometimes I just want to yell at her! I'm worried about her. First of all, she wasn't taking her anti-depressant because they didn't give it to her in the hospital so she figured it was fine. Wrong! Second of all, she was hardly getting any protein at all and not very much water. I got her some Herbalife protein drinks that have 15 grams of protein per 6-8 oz and are pretty tasty. Third of all, I think she is eating things that might not be the best for her. Fourth of all, NOT taking her vitamins. I was gently reminding her how much better she was going to feel if she got some more protein in her and more fluids. She jokingly told me I was no fun to call. She knows I mean well but I guess is tired of hearing it. I'm worried that she went through this life changing surgery and was really not ready and is really not willing to follow the guidelines for a successful WLS. She's not eating her protein first, she is eating more than 3 times a day, and some of her meals consist of strawberries. Anyone have any advice on how I can approach her about this or should I just butt out OR am I just being too strict and I shouldn't expect her to follow the rules that are in my Richmond binder? Any input would be appreciated!TinaPre-Op / RichmondDr. Baggsweigh-in is on Monday!!!! Yikes!330/297/165 some day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2005 Report Share Posted April 28, 2005 Hi Tina I say ditto to what says...............you have the best intentions but dont drive yourself crazy and just learn from it for yourself........ Colleenchris lopez wrote: Hi Tina, While I admire your concern for your sis-in-law I have to say that she is the only one that can make this work. We can not/should not be responsible for other people's success or failure in any area of life. That's called being a co-dependent. It's weird because the more we try to help, usually the more rebellious the person becomes. Like an addict or alcoholic we can't change them and can only make ourselves crazy trying. I think it's great that you've spoken your piece but that's really all you can do. She's a grown woman and has to make her own choices. Maybe you can just lead by example, continue to do what you know is right and keep silent. She'll notice your silence and when she asks about it you can be perfectly honest with her and voice your concerns at that time. Hopefully her family is supporting her, but even they can't make her do what she's supposed to. ChrisTina wrote: I have a question for you all. My sis-in-law had the surgery 4 weeks ago yesterday. I've try to be very encouraging to her and give her gentle advice but...sometimes I just want to yell at her! I'm worried about her. First of all, she wasn't taking her anti-depressant because they didn't give it to her in the hospital so she figured it was fine. Wrong! Second of all, she was hardly getting any protein at all and not very much water. I got her some Herbalife protein drinks that have 15 grams of protein per 6-8 oz and are pretty tasty. Third of all, I think she is eating things that might not be the best for her. Fourth of all, NOT taking her vitamins. I was gently reminding her how much better she was going to feel if she got some more protein in her and more fluids. She jokingly told me I was no fun to call. She knows I mean well but I guess is tired of hearing it. I'm worried that she went through this life changing surgery and was really not ready and is really not willing to follow the guidelines for a successful WLS. She's not eating her protein first, she is eating more than 3 times a day, and some of her meals consist of strawberries. Anyone have any advice on how I can approach her about this or should I just butt out OR am I just being too strict and I shouldn't expect her to follow the rules that are in my Richmond binder? Any input would be appreciated!TinaPre-Op / RichmondDr. Baggsweigh-in is on Monday!!!! Yikes!330/297/165 some day Colleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2005 Report Share Posted April 28, 2005 I know you have the best intentions, but it's like wishing a loved one would lose weight. You can't make them do it and you can't do it for them. She may be in denial about just what it's going to take to be successful long-term. Many people, even after all the education Kaiser gives, think this procedure is done with a magic wand instead of a scalpel. Her noncompliance is endangering her health. Try to make her see that. Unless she's having some complications she's not telling you about, she should be in full compliance with the post-op nutrition/medication/supplement regimen by four weeks out. I was on three different prescriptions, when I had my surgery. They didn't give me any of them during my 2-day stay. It's NOT ok for her to stop any medication unless her doctors (bariatric or PCP) tell her it is ok. > I have a question for you all. My sis-in-law had the surgery 4 weeks > ago yesterday. I've try to be very encouraging to her and give her > gentle advice but...sometimes I just want to yell at her! I'm worried > about her. First of all, she wasn't taking her anti-depressant > because they didn't give it to her in the hospital so she figured it > was fine. Wrong! Second of all, she was hardly getting any protein at > all and not very much water. I got her some Herbalife protein drinks > that have 15 grams of protein per 6-8 oz and are pretty tasty. Third > of all, I think she is eating things that might not be the best for > her. Fourth of all, NOT taking her vitamins. I was gently reminding > her how much better she was going to feel if she got some more > protein in her and more fluids. She jokingly told me I was no fun to > call. She knows I mean well but I guess is tired of hearing it. I'm > worried that she went through this life changing surgery and was > really not ready and is really not willing to follow the guidelines > for a successful WLS. She's not eating her protein first, she is > eating more than 3 times a day, and some of her meals consist of > strawberries. > > Anyone have any advice on how I can approach her about this or should > I just butt out OR am I just being too strict and I shouldn't expect > her to follow the rules that are in my Richmond binder? > > Any input would be appreciated! > > Tina > Pre-Op / Richmond > Dr. Baggs > weigh-in is on Monday!!!! Yikes! > 330/297/165 some day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2005 Report Share Posted April 28, 2005 Oh boy, sounds like someone who's going to have to learn the hard way! I find that it never does any good to try to tell people when they don't want to know, and obviously she doesn't want to know. Your buying her the protein drinks was probably a good thing, and maybe gentle little things like that are the way to go. Whether she was ready or not, it's done now and she will just have to learn. LaWanda At 11:29 AM 4/28/05, you wrote: >I have a question for you all. My sis-in-law had the surgery 4 weeks >ago yesterday. I've try to be very encouraging to her and give her >gentle advice but...sometimes I just want to yell at her! I'm worried >about her. First of all, she wasn't taking her anti-depressant >because they didn't give it to her in the hospital so she figured it >was fine. Wrong! Second of all, she was hardly getting any protein at >all and not very much water. I got her some Herbalife protein drinks >that have 15 grams of protein per 6-8 oz and are pretty tasty. Third >of all, I think she is eating things that might not be the best for >her. Fourth of all, NOT taking her vitamins. I was gently reminding >her how much better she was going to feel if she got some more >protein in her and more fluids. She jokingly told me I was no fun to >call. She knows I mean well but I guess is tired of hearing it. I'm >worried that she went through this life changing surgery and was >really not ready and is really not willing to follow the guidelines >for a successful WLS. She's not eating her protein first, she is >eating more than 3 times a day, and some of her meals consist of >strawberries. > >Anyone have any advice on how I can approach her about this or should >I just butt out OR am I just being too strict and I shouldn't expect >her to follow the rules that are in my Richmond binder? > >Any input would be appreciated! > >Tina >Pre-Op / Richmond >Dr. Baggs >weigh-in is on Monday!!!! Yikes! >330/297/165 some day > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2005 Report Share Posted April 29, 2005 Chris I know you metion addict here. I know for one I was a bread/pasta addict. Since the approval of this program, I have totally changed what I eat because I want to have this work for me. I was discussing this with a co-worker once I was approved (yes, the same co-worker who is the sabatour I spoke of before) She said she would have a hard time not using protion control/pouch happy foods. And said I guess I will be throwing up alot then. I was flabergasted by this comment. It goes to show that with out the reversal of how we think about food, this surgery won't work. By the way, the Atkins hasn't been working for her is actually still putting on more weight. I hope I could lead by example. Jeanne > I have a question for you all. My sis-in-law had the surgery 4 weeks > ago yesterday. I've try to be very encouraging to her and give her > gentle advice but...sometimes I just want to yell at her! I'm worried > about her. First of all, she wasn't taking her anti-depressant > because they didn't give it to her in the hospital so she figured it > was fine. Wrong! Second of all, she was hardly getting any protein at > all and not very much water. I got her some Herbalife protein drinks > that have 15 grams of protein per 6-8 oz and are pretty tasty. Third > of all, I think she is eating things that might not be the best for > her. Fourth of all, NOT taking her vitamins. I was gently reminding > her how much better she was going to feel if she got some more > protein in her and more fluids. She jokingly told me I was no fun to > call. She knows I mean well but I guess is tired of hearing it. I'm > worried that she went through this life changing surgery and was > really not ready and is really not willing to follow the guidelines > for a successful WLS. She's not eating her protein first, she is > eating more than 3 times a day, and some of her meals consist of > strawberries. > > Anyone have any advice on how I can approach her about this or should > I just butt out OR am I just being too strict and I shouldn't expect > her to follow the rules that are in my Richmond binder? > > Any input would be appreciated! > > Tina > Pre-Op / Richmond > Dr. Baggs > weigh-in is on Monday!!!! Yikes! > 330/297/165 some day > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 29, 2005 Report Share Posted April 29, 2005 Jeanne, Bizarre isn't it? It's so easy to be addicted to certain foods because unlike alcohol or drugs, we're not going to get arrested or kill anyone, except maybe ourselves. My ex-husband was an alcoholic and whenever I'd try to talk to him about his drinking he'd bring up my sugar addiciton. I know he was trying to shift the focus off his behaviours and it drove me nuts, but he was right, I used to really medicate with sugar (and the longer I was married to him the more I medicated, but that's a different story). I have to say, that's the only real food addiction I have and it's a horrible one to break. I'm trying very hard but its visious. I'm much better since I got approved but the longer I'm in the program waiting for a surgery date, the more frustrated I'm getting and the more I want to medicate. Which of course causes me to gain weight or maintain and I'll never get a date that way. Such a vicious, nasty cycle. Christopazmisskitty wrote: ChrisI know you metion addict here. I know for one I was a bread/pasta addict. Since the approval of this program, I have totally changed what I eat because I want to have this work for me. I was discussing this with a co-worker once I was approved (yes, the same co-worker who is the sabatour I spoke of before) She said she would have a hard time not using protion control/pouch happy foods. And said I guess I will be throwing up alot then. I was flabergasted by this comment. It goes to show that with out the reversal of how we think about food, this surgery won't work. By the way, the Atkins hasn't been working for her is actually still putting on more weight. I hope I could lead by example.Jeanne> I have a question for you all. My sis-in-law had the surgery 4 weeks > ago yesterday. I've try to be very encouraging to her and give her > gentle advice but...sometimes I just want to yell at her! I'm worried > about her. First of all, she wasn't taking her anti-depressant > because they didn't give it to her in the hospital so she figured it > was fine. Wrong! Second of all, she was hardly getting any protein at > all and not very much water. I got her some Herbalife protein drinks > that have 15 grams of protein per 6-8 oz and are pretty tasty. Third > of all, I think she is eating things that might not be the best for > her. Fourth of all, NOT taking her vitamins. I was gently reminding > her how much better she was going to feel if she got some more > protein in her and more fluids. She jokingly told me I was no fun to > call. She knows I mean well but I guess is tired of hearing it. I'm > worried that she went through this life changing surgery and was > really not ready and is really not willing to follow the guidelines > for a successful WLS. She's not eating her protein first, she is > eating more than 3 times a day, and some of her meals consist of > strawberries. > > Anyone have any advice on how I can approach her about this or should > I just butt out OR am I just being too strict and I shouldn't expect > her to follow the rules that are in my Richmond binder? > > Any input would be appreciated!> > Tina> Pre-Op / Richmond> Dr. Baggs> weigh-in is on Monday!!!! Yikes!> 330/297/165 some day> > > > > > ---------------------------------> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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