Re: support

[Guest guest]

Hi Elise - I'm in andria... where did your mom have the procedure (Fairfax)

and hows she doing?

Stef

elisekenney wrote:

Hello,

Two weeks ago my mother underwent the MAZE procedure and is had some

other complications. She is really looking to find someone who she

can talk to for morale and advice. We are in the northern virginia

area, she is currently in the hospital, but will hopefully be back

home soon.

Thank you!

Elise

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Nothing in this message should be considered as medical advice, or should be

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[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I am 35 yrs old and I was diagnosed in June of this yr. I have had

both of my breast removed and I am doing chemo now. Chemo is hard. I

have been as sick as a dog. I thought I would be strong and get

through this. But it is a hard task. I have dealt with having my

husband do almost everything for me. I know how hard it is to let

people take care of you. It is still a struggle. When I can't do

something as simple as opening a jar of something or combing my

daughters hair. All we can do is keep trying and know that we have

people that love us around us. We can be SUPERWOMEN. But also let

people in. This group is great, god knows they have helped me with my

issues. Also it is great just to vent. Whenever you need someone to

listen we are here.

Take care keep being strong .. be positive.

Signia minneapolis

>

> Dear all,

>

> Having tried coping on my own since being diagnosed at the end of May

> I am now discovering that this is not a one-man-job. I have always

> been the strong type. But I'm afraid I am now slowly falling apart.

> That's why I join this group.

>

> I am 37 and have always been very independent. I have been in a

> relationship for about 18 months but we have kept our own homes

> meeting in weekends and sometimes a few times on weekdays. I work as

> a secretary but am currently unable to work and fortunately my boss

> and colleagues let me decide for myself what I can and cannot handle,

> which is about nothing at the moment.

>

> Since my diagnosis I have sort of moved in with my boyfriend. Well, I

> just stayed there. Not having to go to work anymore and being so torn

> it seemed the logic thing to just stay with him.

> Then I had the operation, which was 'peanuts'. I went to the

> supermarket within 20 hours after surgery. High on adrenalin I guess.

> And then radiotherapy. I had the last session of 33 yesterday. Went

> to the hospital on my own every day except Fridays when my boyfriend

> could come along. And all the while I acted 'tough'.

>

> And now I am facing chemotherapy and I'm so scared and feel terribly

> lonely. I don't think my boyfriend has any idea how terrified I am

> and worried about the practicalities of things. I live with him, but

> don't feel 'at home' because his 25 and 22 year-old sons live there

> too. I feel so vulnerable en nothing like the independent strong

> woman I used to be.

> When I try to tell people how I feel I do not seem to be able to get

> the message across how lonely I am in this terrible situation. People

> only want to hear positive things.

> So, I am reaching out to you. I hope you can maybe give me advise on

> how to get the message across to my boyfriend and friends that I need

> them. I know it is me who needs to open up somehow, but the

> vulnerability and fear is taking al my strength and dignity.

> The horror of things is that my boyfriend's late wife died of

> breastcancer 2,5 years ago. I feel that I cannot burden him while I

> need him so badly to be there for me.

>

> I would be very grateful if you could in any way advise me on letting

> the toughness go.

> And thanks a million for being there.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

nancy---i know how you feel - i've been doing this

alone as well (along with my 8 year old son)...it's

tough...

which is why I also sought out this group--a group

like this...

i dont have any answers for you though. sorry. the

world we live in, the world we all have created...(not

*us* specifically , but *we* humans)...is so

isolating for many of us...so *lonely* as you say, and

that comes to the fore when we face a trauma like

this.

i feel vulnerable and lost too - and want to be taken

care of sometimes...

it is important though i think to reach out...perhaps

it's easier for you to write down what you need.erhaps

you can write a letter to your friends; you boyfriend.

and., in the meantime, stay here with us...the women

here are wise and wonderful and most importantly,

understand completely and unequivocally what you are

feeling...this is a scary trauma. and it sucks.

take care.

we're here - i'm here.

marisa

--- nens_in2006 wrote:

> Dear all,

>

> Having tried coping on my own since being diagnosed

> at the end of May

> I am now discovering that this is not a one-man-job.

> I have always

> been the strong type. But I'm afraid I am now slowly

> falling apart.

> That's why I join this group.

>

> I am 37 and have always been very independent. I

> have been in a

> relationship for about 18 months but we have kept

> our own homes

> meeting in weekends and sometimes a few times on

> weekdays. I work as

> a secretary but am currently unable to work and

> fortunately my boss

> and colleagues let me decide for myself what I can

> and cannot handle,

> which is about nothing at the moment.

>

> Since my diagnosis I have sort of moved in with my

> boyfriend. Well, I

> just stayed there. Not having to go to work anymore

> and being so torn

> it seemed the logic thing to just stay with him.

> Then I had the operation, which was 'peanuts'. I

> went to the

> supermarket within 20 hours after surgery. High on

> adrenalin I guess.

> And then radiotherapy. I had the last session of 33

> yesterday. Went

> to the hospital on my own every day except Fridays

> when my boyfriend

> could come along. And all the while I acted 'tough'.

>

> And now I am facing chemotherapy and I'm so scared

> and feel terribly

> lonely. I don't think my boyfriend has any idea how

> terrified I am

> and worried about the practicalities of things. I

> live with him, but

> don't feel 'at home' because his 25 and 22 year-old

> sons live there

> too. I feel so vulnerable en nothing like the

> independent strong

> woman I used to be.

> When I try to tell people how I feel I do not seem

> to be able to get

> the message across how lonely I am in this terrible

> situation. People

> only want to hear positive things.

> So, I am reaching out to you. I hope you can maybe

> give me advise on

> how to get the message across to my boyfriend and

> friends that I need

> them. I know it is me who needs to open up somehow,

> but the

> vulnerability and fear is taking al my strength and

> dignity.

> The horror of things is that my boyfriend's late

> wife died of

> breastcancer 2,5 years ago. I feel that I cannot

> burden him while I

> need him so badly to be there for me.

>

> I would be very grateful if you could in any way

> advise me on letting

> the toughness go.

> And thanks a million for being there.

>

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Dearest

What an incredibly brave, strong woman you are. You can tell your

boyfriend how you feel, let him read your mail even! He's supported

someone through this before, so what better person to open up to. I

will keep you in my prayers, let us know how it works out. Take the

bull by the horns girl...you've gone through so much already, this

will be a step towards an even more positive attitude!

Best wishes & hugs

Jax xx

[Guest guest]

,

Take some special time alone with your boyfriend and tell him how you are

feeling. If he went through this not too long ago I am sure he has an idea of

hard this is for you. Open up to him and let him in.

As for others try asking for their help when you need it. If they are true

friends they will be right there to help to you.

We are ALWAYS here for you too. I will keep you in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life

http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

BreastCancerStories.com

http://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/

Angel Feather Loomer

www.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.com

Check out my other ornaments at

www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html

Lots of info and gifts at:

www.cancerclub.com

support

Dear all,

Having tried coping on my own since being diagnosed at the end of May

I am now discovering that this is not a one-man-job. I have always

been the strong type. But I'm afraid I am now slowly falling apart.

That's why I join this group.

I am 37 and have always been very independent. I have been in a

relationship for about 18 months but we have kept our own homes

meeting in weekends and sometimes a few times on weekdays. I work as

a secretary but am currently unable to work and fortunately my boss

and colleagues let me decide for myself what I can and cannot handle,

which is about nothing at the moment.

Since my diagnosis I have sort of moved in with my boyfriend. Well, I

just stayed there. Not having to go to work anymore and being so torn

it seemed the logic thing to just stay with him.

Then I had the operation, which was 'peanuts'. I went to the

supermarket within 20 hours after surgery. High on adrenalin I guess.

And then radiotherapy. I had the last session of 33 yesterday. Went

to the hospital on my own every day except Fridays when my boyfriend

could come along. And all the while I acted 'tough'.

And now I am facing chemotherapy and I'm so scared and feel terribly

lonely. I don't think my boyfriend has any idea how terrified I am

and worried about the practicalities of things. I live with him, but

don't feel 'at home' because his 25 and 22 year-old sons live there

too. I feel so vulnerable en nothing like the independent strong

woman I used to be.

When I try to tell people how I feel I do not seem to be able to get

the message across how lonely I am in this terrible situation. People

only want to hear positive things.

So, I am reaching out to you. I hope you can maybe give me advise on

how to get the message across to my boyfriend and friends that I need

them. I know it is me who needs to open up somehow, but the

vulnerability and fear is taking al my strength and dignity.

The horror of things is that my boyfriend's late wife died of

breastcancer 2,5 years ago. I feel that I cannot burden him while I

need him so badly to be there for me.

I would be very grateful if you could in any way advise me on letting

the toughness go.

And thanks a million for being there.

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[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Welcome to the group and I'm glad you are reaching out for help

now. Your first step was to come here - and believe me, this is the

most understanding and supportive group of women I have known. It's

hard to talk to family, friends about your B/C because, although

they want to understand, you honestly can't " get it " unless you've

been through or are going through it. That's where a group like

this, or a support group in your community will be valuable to you.

I also think that you should have a conversation with your boyfriend

specifically about how you're feeling. I know it's hard to let go

and be vulnerable, but I think you have to accept that you will be

(for a time). Chemo is difficult, I won't lie to you, but there are

many, many people who have had far less severe side effects than

others. There are things you can expect, but for each of us, the

experience was/is different. Try to go into it with the attitude

that you are doing all that you can to beat this thing, and that

there IS an end to it. There are so many different anti-nausea

drugs available that really work - try them all if you have to.

Treatment is part of the process (the part that really stinks!) but

just a part and you will get through it. It was very hard for me to

accept help, (meals, rides for my kids, etc.) but I finally gave in

and focused on fighting the cancer and let everything else just fall

where it may. I tried to stay positive (for everyone else) but

there were (are) days when that just goes out the door - and that's

okay too - because we've all been through it. It sounds like you

are all set at work, which is such a major bonus - and it sounds

like your boyfriend will continue to support you emotionally - so my

advice is to let it go - accept that you need help and use the

support that is offered. It's hard - but I believe in you! We're

always here for support so check in and ask questions when you need

too. Before you know it, you'll be offering your valuable

experience to someone who is just starting out on their fight.

Best of luck hon, and I hope that my words have helped in some

way. Please just believe in yourself - you can do this!

Hugs,

Ellen

>

> Dear all,

>

> Having tried coping on my own since being diagnosed at the end of

May

> I am now discovering that this is not a one-man-job. I have always

> been the strong type. But I'm afraid I am now slowly falling

apart.

> That's why I join this group.

>

> I am 37 and have always been very independent. I have been in a

> relationship for about 18 months but we have kept our own homes

> meeting in weekends and sometimes a few times on weekdays. I work

as

> a secretary but am currently unable to work and fortunately my

boss

> and colleagues let me decide for myself what I can and cannot

handle,

> which is about nothing at the moment.

>

> Since my diagnosis I have sort of moved in with my boyfriend.

Well, I

> just stayed there. Not having to go to work anymore and being so

torn

> it seemed the logic thing to just stay with him.

> Then I had the operation, which was 'peanuts'. I went to the

> supermarket within 20 hours after surgery. High on adrenalin I

guess.

> And then radiotherapy. I had the last session of 33 yesterday.

Went

> to the hospital on my own every day except Fridays when my

boyfriend

> could come along. And all the while I acted 'tough'.

>

> And now I am facing chemotherapy and I'm so scared and feel

terribly

> lonely. I don't think my boyfriend has any idea how terrified I am

> and worried about the practicalities of things. I live with him,

but

> don't feel 'at home' because his 25 and 22 year-old sons live

there

> too. I feel so vulnerable en nothing like the independent strong

> woman I used to be.

> When I try to tell people how I feel I do not seem to be able to

get

> the message across how lonely I am in this terrible situation.

People

> only want to hear positive things.

> So, I am reaching out to you. I hope you can maybe give me advise

on

> how to get the message across to my boyfriend and friends that I

need

> them. I know it is me who needs to open up somehow, but the

> vulnerability and fear is taking al my strength and dignity.

> The horror of things is that my boyfriend's late wife died of

> breastcancer 2,5 years ago. I feel that I cannot burden him while

I

> need him so badly to be there for me.

>

> I would be very grateful if you could in any way advise me on

letting

> the toughness go.

> And thanks a million for being there.

>

>

>