Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 I am desperately trying to come to terms with my ever declining physical abilities. It has become really difficult with the decline being so rapid. I try to keep a positive attitude and be thankful for all I have but I don't know how I can bare this being as good as it is going to get. How will I ever have the mental fortitude to endure my body deteriorating. The " I can't " s are getting more frequent. My endurance is getting shorter. I know that there is nothing that anyone can really say to me. Heck, you don't even know me but here I am anyway. The neuro asked me what I want. I told him that I want a fairy tale ending... run tests, find a rare mineral deficiency and give me a pill and make me well. HA! We know what the chances of that are. Now I have to face actually taking pain pills... It is something that I equate with failure and giving up. I can't take the pain any more and I just want this bad dream to end. Time, oh for more time. Quality not quantity, is this really asking too much? Tenacity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 My mother Joyce (71, died 11/5/00) had a rapid decline from this disease (she died of complications)--others are luckier. But every step of the way, she redefined what was normal and lived that standard to its fullest. There was so much she couldn't do, but whenever I spoke with her, she just told me what she DID that day (even if she couldn't get out--she looked at the ever-present huge mountain of paperwork). As for dealing with your pain, I don't know what to say about that--that is awful and I hope you find some relief. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined my mother would go before my dad--I thought she'd live to be 100. But she didn't. I say that because I now know just to focus on what is before me. Once in awhile I look back, but I rarely look forward anymore--what's the use, you don't know what's there. So look at what you can do. Don't look too far ahead because you really don't know what will be there--may even be a cure. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 Deborah, so sorry for the agony you are experiencing with all your physical losses. I hope you will change your mind about pain pills. I have depended on judicious use of pain meds and muscle relaxants for many years to maintain a decent quality of life (chronic back pain). I see them as a wonderful aid for coping, definitely not as somehow giving up! Pain can distort our perceptions about everything else in our lives, often magnifying already distressing situations. Also, some kind of mood elevator might help you. It is not a sign of weakness to use these wonderful pharma-ceuticals. You express desire for quality, not quantity. To attain that sought-after quality requires that you take advantage of every avenue that might lead you to improved physical and mental comfort -- the meds you say you don't to use can help you to that goal! God bless, Grace Halmi In need of support > I am desperately trying to come to terms with my ever declining > physical abilities. It has become really difficult with the decline > being so rapid. I try to keep a positive attitude and be thankful > for all I have but I don't know how I can bare this being as good as > it is going to get. How will I ever have the mental fortitude to > endure my body deteriorating. The " I can't " s are getting more > frequent. My endurance is getting shorter. > > I know that there is nothing that anyone can really say to me. > Heck, you don't even know me but here I am anyway. > > The neuro asked me what I want. I told him that I want a fairy > tale ending... run tests, find a rare mineral deficiency and give me > a pill and make me well. HA! We know what the chances of that are. > Now I have to face actually taking pain pills... It is something > that I equate with failure and giving up. I can't take the pain any > more and I just want this bad dream to end. > > Time, oh for more time. Quality not quantity, is this really > asking too much? > > Tenacity > > > > If you do not wish to belong to shydrager, you may > unsubscribe by sending a blank email to > > shydrager-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2001 Report Share Posted October 30, 2001 Deborah, I know u worked hard for ur degree and wish for this to be just a bad dream, but we have to live. Seek counseling. In times like this it is difficult to counsel ourselves. I don't like the pain or the discomfort at all! BUT it is here and I have to deal with it. My husband has to deal with 'it'. Everyone has to deal with 'it'. For some reason I can't give up Hope. I dont know why and Most times I find life easier if I don't question the whys. I do wish and pray they fix me, but I have the feeling they can't. I know everyone is doing the darnest to treat the symptoms, and sometimes ....man ...it is tough. Deborah....have u talked with ur mom?? Do u still do some shopping on the internet? What are some of things u are not able to do? WHat are some of the things that u can do?? Do u live near ton, NC? nancy Deborah wrote: > > I am desperately trying to come to terms with my ever declining > physical abilities. It has become really difficult with the decline > being so rapid. I try to keep a positive attitude and be thankful > for all I have but I don't know how I can bare this being as good as > it is going to get. How will I ever have the mental fortitude to > endure my body deteriorating. The " I can't " s are getting more > frequent. My endurance is getting shorter. > > I know that there is nothing that anyone can really say to me. > Heck, you don't even know me but here I am anyway. > > The neuro asked me what I want. I told him that I want a fairy > tale ending... run tests, find a rare mineral deficiency and give me > a pill and make me well. HA! We know what the chances of that are. > Now I have to face actually taking pain pills... It is something > that I equate with failure and giving up. I can't take the pain any > more and I just want this bad dream to end. > > Time, oh for more time. Quality not quantity, is this really > asking too much? > > Tenacity > > If you do not wish to belong to shydrager, you may > unsubscribe by sending a blank email to > > shydrager-unsubscribe > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2001 Report Share Posted October 30, 2001 Deborah: Your wrong when you said that no on really know's you, but here you are. Everyone who is suffering from this illness know's you. They have all been where you are now. My husband Fred is one of them , he has been suffering with this illness for 5 years and at times has said the same thing you have, won't it get any better then this. I know it has to be hard to face each and everyday knowning that its going to be another fight. Trying to do the things that has to be done and only feel to weak to want to, but being here on this group you will fine out things that will help in some small way maybe, but it will help. You have other's now that you can talk to and they understand what you feel like. I know at times it doesn't seem like much now, but it does help. Always Vera Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2001 Report Share Posted October 31, 2001 Dear Tencity. It is not easy to accept what may be happening. I wish I could be your fairy Godmother and zap away the condition. Unfortunately we live in the real world. Please take advantage of this wonderful MSA family and bitch all you want to. Some of them have been through it all, and wll help you as much as possible. You will be in my prayers tonight. Peace. Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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