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I got a phone call early this morning from my daughter. They

finally finished the mito testing on my grandaughter's heart. It

came back abnormal. There were a large amount of mitochondria

present. They would never have even run the tests except my daughter

insisted. Now they are going to run further tests. Hopefully they

will be able to figure out the type of disorder.

I really don't know how I feel. I have so many emotions going on

right now. I am so very very sad that Elaine had to die for me to

get any answers.

I am relieved to finally have this long search nearing the end. It

was only yesterday that I was reading the posts and feeling

discouraged that I would ever find any answers.

I am afraid of what this diagnosis means. I can no longer tell

myself 'well, it could be something else'.

And I feel worried for my children and grandchildren.

I guess you all can understand what I am feeling.

Joanne

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Joanne,

I'm so sorry about your news. It is a double edged sword which I can identify

with. I think it's very important to deal with the mourning part of this issue

but also need to tell you that we are not in control of our genes and we cannot

hold ourselves responsible for this. Losing your grandchild had to have been

extremely difficult and in your message, I read a sense of guilt. Please see

someone who can help you work thru this. It is not your fault.

Please accept my offer to be available for you privately if you just need

someone to talk to. I am very familar with what you are going thru.

Alice

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Joanne

I can relate to your feelings, both from a personal aspect and that of my

mother. I know we talked about our feelings of guilt. As Alice said, we

cannot control our genes. If we had had a diagnosis before conceiving

children, out decisions might have been different, but we made that decision

based on the knowledge we had at the time and not looking back.

Let yourself grieve for you loss of your granddaughter and for the probably

that you also have it. Get professional help if you are struggling. There is

nothing wrong with the way you are feeling and getting help does not show a

weakness on your part. You are dealing with lots of things all at once.

I'm thinking of you.

laurie

>

> Reply-To:

> Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2004 16:16:13 -0000

> To:

> Subject: autopsy results

>

> I got a phone call early this morning from my daughter. They

> finally finished the mito testing on my grandaughter's heart. It

> came back abnormal. There were a large amount of mitochondria

> present. They would never have even run the tests except my daughter

> insisted. Now they are going to run further tests. Hopefully they

> will be able to figure out the type of disorder.

> I really don't know how I feel. I have so many emotions going on

> right now. I am so very very sad that Elaine had to die for me to

> get any answers.

> I am relieved to finally have this long search nearing the end. It

> was only yesterday that I was reading the posts and feeling

> discouraged that I would ever find any answers.

> I am afraid of what this diagnosis means. I can no longer tell

> myself 'well, it could be something else'.

> And I feel worried for my children and grandchildren.

>

> I guess you all can understand what I am feeling.

>

> Joanne

>

>

>

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> responsibility to evaluate the content of the postings and consult with their

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>

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>

>

>

>

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