my success story

[Guest guest]

hi all,

i first saw this support group about a year ago, and at the time i was

desperately hopeless about my situation and wanted so much to see some

happy stories that would give me hope. now i want to share my success

story here in hopes that it will help someone else out there who is

suffering.

when i lost my virginity at 17 (i am now almost 22), there was a lot

of pain. i assumed that was normal for the first time. but every time

we tried to have intercourse it was equally as painful. i visited my

family doctor and two gynecologists, all of whom told me different

things, prescribed useless creams and generally disregarded me. i

spent the next three years completely depressed about sex. i accepted

in my mind that i would never have painless sex and that no man would

ever truly love me... and even if a man did love me, i was sure he

would eventually leave me because of it. i grew to HATE my condition.

i wouldn't think about it or talk about it to anyone. i secretly hated

my friends for flippantly speaking about sex and taking it for

granted. i can not possibly express in words the dark cloud that this

put over my daily life.

i learned eventually that my older sister also suffered from this

condition (genetic? no one knows). luckily, she immediately found a

specialist who knew a lot about vestibulitis and did not have to go

through years of turmoil like i did. the first time i saw this

wonderful gynecologist, he looked at my vagina for a quick second and

said " i know what you have just by looking, and it is treatable. " i

burst into tears right there. he said that it's a shame that so many

women suffer from this but are too afraid to see a doctor, and even if

they do, most doctors are very unaware about vulvodynia/ vestibulitis.

in the beginning i was using a topical anesthetic. it did take the

pain away, but i was not happy with how it interrupted the natural

flow of love making. the cream would work best in a loving

relationship, but sometimes sex happens casually... and taking 10

minutes to try and get the cream in just the right spot and then

waiting 10 more for it to take effect is not my idea of sexy!

to make a long story short, what worked for me was a combination of

gabapentin (600 mg 3x daily) and cognitive therapy. i can NOT stress

how important therapy was, and firmly believe that it is impossible to

overcome this condition without it. the gabapentin worked wonderfully,

and of course the first time i had painless sex i burst into tears,

like a horrible darkness had been lifted from my life.

recently, i went off of the medication entirely. i now have moderate

pain during intercourse upon entry, but it is bearable and does not

last once he is inside.

my whole life has changed because i learned to stop hating my

condition and i took control of it. it was not an easy battle, and i

am now on antidepressants for the lasting effects this has had on my

mood. but i feel happy, healthy and i am in love and having sex often!

it's a shame that there is so little research out there, but i want to

let people know that we can overcome it and that there is hope.

-eh