Re: Help - I think I'm a plagio mom and I'm scared!

[Guest guest]

> >

> > Hi - I'm Nikki and our 7 month old son, Chase, is such a little

> > trooper. He's our first non-furry child (we have 2 dogs and a

> cat)

> > and the joy of our lives. He has had such a rocky beginning, but

> > you'd never tell from his amazing outgoing personality.

> >

> > He was a full-term baby (although he was a vacuum birth - he had

a

> > big old head for my small pelvis). I thought being readmitted

for

> > jaundice at five days old was horrible, but while he was there,

> our

> > ped. caught a heart murmur. The jaundice was a blessing in

> > disguise. Chase needed closed heart surgery when he was just 12

> days

> > old for a coarctation (an aortic valve was too narrow). He was

> home

> > on day 19 and other than repeated visits to our cardiologist, the

> > small scar on his back is all that is left of that problem.

> >

> > At our follow-up after heart surgery at three weeks, our ped.

> > detected a fibroid mastiosis coli (torticollis). He's been in PT

> > since he was 6 weeks old (every week at first, but every other

> week

> > since Feb.). I was warned about the DOC band then, but his head

> was

> > pretty round, so none of us worried too much.

> >

> > By four months, he had some definite flatness on the right

> posterior

> > side. Around this time, we also were hospitalized for six days

> with

> > endocartitis (a bacterial infection of the heart). He came home

> with

> > a PICC line and I had to administer medicine 2xs a day for 28

> days.

> > This set us back with the PT and tort and his mild eczema now

> turned

> > so severe that we needed to see a dermatologist. Once the meds

> > stopped, his skin got better (with the help of prescription

> > hydrocortisone and Aquaphor, plus daily baths) and his neck once

> > again started to improve. He also learned to roll on to his

> stomach

> > (constant tummy time since he was four weeks old had to help) and

> > started to sleep that way.

> >

> > His flat spot in back is almost gone, but thanks to three months

> of

> > stomach sleeping and still some major tort issues, he's now

> > developing a flat spot on the left side of his forehead. Both

our

> > ped and PT have referred us to a plastic surgeon (we have an

> > appointment in three weeks for a consult). Our wonderful ped.

who

> > catches everything told me " maybe he won't need a helmet. " As I

> just

> > smiled at her, she added, " of course, the odds aren't in our

> favor,

> > but you never know. " This is the doctor I've been dreading since

> he

> > was six weeks old.

> >

> > If you saw Chase and didn't know any of the above, you'd think he

> was

> > the cutest baby ever. Friends, co-workers, church members and

> family

> > all know most (if not all) of his history, so I am forever giving

> > doctor updates to the very thoughtful and concerned masses.

> However,

> > I'm terrified about the stares and rude questions we'll get if

> Chase

> > does indeed need a band - you can't hide that like a scar.

> >

> > My husband's theory is whatever is best for Chase is all that

> matters

> > (and thankfully until now, insurance has been really good).

While

> I

> > completely agree, I just have days where I feel that enough is

> > enough. We've been through so much but a new mom can only take

so

> > much. I just so want Chase to be like all of the other babies

> (he's

> > never been in a swing or a bouncy seat). I know all of these

> issues

> > have made us more appreciative of the little things and we're

> blessed

> > that he is always in such terrific spirits. I know he'll be fine

> > (and my husband, the football coach, already has ideas about

> > decorating a cool helmet) - right now, I'm worried about how I

> will

> > do with it. How do you all do it?

> >

> > With Mother's Day yesterday, I got a lot of cards and comments

> about

> > all I've been through and how strong of a person I am, but as we

> get

> > closer to the plastic surgeon visit - I don't feel strong - I

feel

> > scared! After a textbook perfect pregnancy (and waiting 34 years

> to

> > have a baby), I wasn't prepared for any of this. While I've

> learned

> > to cope, it's still so hard. I'm home (after 12 years of

teaching

> > 8th graders - this was a huge, but enjoyable, change), so I have

> to

> > deal with the doctors more than my husband (who goes to visits

> when

> > he can) and days like today, I just feel so helpless!

> >

> > Sorry to be so wordy on my first post - but ANY words of wisdom

> would

> > be so helpful! I wouldn't trade Chase for all of the stars in

the

> > sky, but something simple like an ear infection would be a nice

> > change of pace

> >

> > Nikki

> >

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> _____

>

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