Guest guest Posted April 13, 2004 Report Share Posted April 13, 2004 Child's view of life > > > > > Child's view of life: > > NUDITY > I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a > Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark > naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from > the back seat, " Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! > > HONESTY > My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd > dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in > the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my > bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a > charming little smile, " We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it > fell in the toilet a few days ago. > > OPINIONS > On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from > his mother. The note read, " The opinions expressed by this child are not > necessarily those of his parents. " > > KETCHUP > A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During > her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer > the phone. > " It's the minister, Mommy, " the child said to her mother. Then she added, > " Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the > bottle. " > MORE NUDITY > A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker > room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies > grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement > and then asked, " What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy > before? " > > ELDERLY > While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly > shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. > The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and > wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. > One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. > As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely > turned and whispered, " The tooth fairy will never believe this! " > DRESS-UP > A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her > dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, " Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit. " > " And why not, darling? " " > " you know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. " > > DEATH > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister > heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. > Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. > Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small > box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of > the deceased. > The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with > sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always > said: > " Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ... and into the hole he > gooooes. " > > SCHOOL > A little girl had just finished her first week of school. " I'm just > wasting my time, " she said to her mother. " I can't read, I can't write and > they won't let me talk! " > > BIBLE > A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered > through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He > picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that > had been pressed in between the pages. > " Mama, look what I found " , the boy called out. > " What have you got there, dear? " > With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, " I think it's > Adam's underwear! " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > NOTICE: This e-mail message and all attachments transmitted with it may > contain legally privileged and confidential information intended solely > for the use of the addressee. If the reader of this message is not the > intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any reading, > dissemination, distribution, copying, or other use of this message or > its attachments, hyperlinks, or any other files of any kind is strictly > prohibited. If you have received this message in error, please notify > the sender immediately by telephone () or by a reply to this > electronic mail message and delete this message and all copies and > backups thereof. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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