Re: Xmas In Haliburton

[Guest guest]

> > > > >>Subject: CHRISTMAS IN CANADA> > > > >>

> > > > >>

> > > > >>

> > > > >> > December 8:

> > > > >> > 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the

> > > > >> > season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat

> > > > >> > for hours by the window, watching the huge soft flakes

> > > > >> > drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses

> > > > >> > Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love

> > > > >> > snow!

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 9:

> > > > >> > We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow

> > > > >> > covering ever inch of landscape. What a fantastic

> > > > >> > sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole

> > > > >> > World? Moving here was the best idea I had. Shoveled

> > > > >> > for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.

> > > > >> > I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This

> > > > >> > afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the

> > > > >> > sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so i got to

> > > > >> > shovel again. What a perfect life!

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 12:

> > > > >> > The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a

> > > > >> > disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry,

> > > > >> > we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on

> > > > >> > Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much

> > > > >> > snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see

> > > > >> > snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such

> > > > >> > a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 14:

> > > > >> > Snow , lovely snow! 8 " last night. The temperature

> > > > >> > dropped to *20 . The cold makes everything sparkle so.

> > > > >> > The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by

> > > > >> > shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!

> > > > >> > the snow plow came back this afternoon and buried

> > > > >> > everything again. I didn't realize that I would have to

> > > > >> > do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get

> > > > >> > back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff

> > > > >> > so.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 15:

> > > > >> > 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4

> > > > >> > Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2

> > > > >> > extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a

> > > > >> > wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think

> > > > >> > that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 16:

> > > > >> > Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in

> > > > >> > the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The

> > > > >> > wife laughed for an hour, which I thought was very

> > > > >> > cruel.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 17:

> > > > >> > Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go

> > > > >> > anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to

> > > > >> > pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but

> > > > >> > stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I

> > > > >> > should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to

> > > > >> > her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe

> > > > >> > I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 20:

> > > > >> > Electricity's back on, but had another 14 " of the damn

> > > > >> > stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day.

> > > > >> > Freakin' snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a

> > > > >> > neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy

> > > > >> > playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only

> > > > >> > hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower

> > > > >> > and they're out. Might have another shipment in March.

> > > > >> > I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the

> > > > >> > city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 22:

> > > > >> > Bob was right about the white Christmas because 13 more

> > > > >> > inches of the white crap fell today, and its so cold it

> > > > >> > probably wont melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to

> > > > >> > get all dressed up and go to out to shovel then I had

> > > > >> > to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and

> > > > >> > dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire

> > > > >> > Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the

> > > > >> > winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk

> > > > >> > is lying.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 23:

> > > > >> > Only 2 " of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife

> > > > >> > wanted me to decorate the front of the house this

> > > > >> > morning. What is she...... NUTS?!?! Why didn't she tell

> > > > >> > me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think

> > > > >> > she's damn well lying.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 24:

> > > > >> > 6 " . Snow packed so hard today by snowplow, I broke the

> > > > >> > shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever

> > > > >> > catch the SOB who drives the snowplow, I'll

> > > > >> > drag him though the snow by his hair. I know he hides

> > > > >> > around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling

> > > > >> > and then he comes down the street. Tonight the wife

> > > > >> > wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open

> > > > >> > our presents, but I was busy watching for the freakin'

> > > > >> > snowplow.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 25:

> > > > >> > Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the @#$%^ & slop

> > > > >> > tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my

> > > > >> > blood boil. God I hate snow! Then the snowplow driver

> > > > >> > came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the

> > > > >> > head with my shovel. The Wife says I have a bad

> > > > >> > attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch

> > > > >> > " It's a Wonderful Life " one more time. I'm going to

> > > > >> > kill her.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 26:

> > > > >> > Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It

> > > > >> > was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 27:

> > > > >> > Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 28:

> > > > >> > Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is

> > > > >> > driving me crazy!!!

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 29:

> > > > >> > 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or

> > > > >> > it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever

> > > > >> > heard. How dumb does he think I am?

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 30:

> > > > >> > Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a

> > > > >> > million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went

> > > > >> > home to her mother. 9 " predicted.

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > December 31:

> > > > >> > Set fire to what's left of the house. No more

> > > > >> > Shoveling!!

> > > > >> >

> > > > >> > January 8:

> > > > >> > I feel so good. I just love those little white pills

> > > > >> > they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

THANK YOU SHERYN FOR SENDING THIS I HAVEN'T LAUGHED SO HARD IN A LONG TIME

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND STEWART

LOVE AND A HUG

CATHERINE

CHRISTMAS IN CANADA> > > > >>

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >>

> > > > > >> > December 8:

> > > > > >> > 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the

> > > > > >> > season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat

> > > > > >> > for hours by the window, watching the huge soft flakes

> > > > > >> > drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses

> > > > > >> > Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love

> > > > > >> > snow!

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 9:

> > > > > >> > We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow

> > > > > >> > covering ever inch of landscape. What a fantastic

> > > > > >> > sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole

> > > > > >> > World? Moving here was the best idea I had. Shoveled

> > > > > >> > for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.

> > > > > >> > I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This

> > > > > >> > afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the

> > > > > >> > sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so i got to

> > > > > >> > shovel again. What a perfect life!

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 12:

> > > > > >> > The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a

> > > > > >> > disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry,

> > > > > >> > we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on

> > > > > >> > Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much

> > > > > >> > snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see

> > > > > >> > snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such

> > > > > >> > a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 14:

> > > > > >> > Snow , lovely snow! 8 " last night. The temperature

> > > > > >> > dropped to *20 . The cold makes everything sparkle so.

> > > > > >> > The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by

> > > > > >> > shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!

> > > > > >> > the snow plow came back this afternoon and buried

> > > > > >> > everything again. I didn't realize that I would have to

> > > > > >> > do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get

> > > > > >> > back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff

> > > > > >> > so.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 15:

> > > > > >> > 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4

> > > > > >> > Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2

> > > > > >> > extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a

> > > > > >> > wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think

> > > > > >> > that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 16:

> > > > > >> > Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in

> > > > > >> > the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The

> > > > > >> > wife laughed for an hour, which I thought was very

> > > > > >> > cruel.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 17:

> > > > > >> > Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go

> > > > > >> > anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to

> > > > > >> > pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but

> > > > > >> > stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I

> > > > > >> > should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to

> > > > > >> > her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe

> > > > > >> > I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 20:

> > > > > >> > Electricity's back on, but had another 14 " of the damn

> > > > > >> > stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day.

> > > > > >> > Freakin' snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a

> > > > > >> > neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy

> > > > > >> > playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only

> > > > > >> > hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower

> > > > > >> > and they're out. Might have another shipment in March.

> > > > > >> > I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the

> > > > > >> > city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 22:

> > > > > >> > Bob was right about the white Christmas because 13 more

> > > > > >> > inches of the white crap fell today, and its so cold it

> > > > > >> > probably wont melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to

> > > > > >> > get all dressed up and go to out to shovel then I had

> > > > > >> > to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and

> > > > > >> > dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire

> > > > > >> > Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the

> > > > > >> > winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk

> > > > > >> > is lying.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 23:

> > > > > >> > Only 2 " of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife

> > > > > >> > wanted me to decorate the front of the house this

> > > > > >> > morning. What is she...... NUTS?!?! Why didn't she tell

> > > > > >> > me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think

> > > > > >> > she's damn well lying.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 24:

> > > > > >> > 6 " . Snow packed so hard today by snowplow, I broke the

> > > > > >> > shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever

> > > > > >> > catch the SOB who drives the snowplow, I'll

> > > > > >> > drag him though the snow by his hair. I know he hides

> > > > > >> > around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling

> > > > > >> > and then he comes down the street. Tonight the wife

> > > > > >> > wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open

> > > > > >> > our presents, but I was busy watching for the freakin'

> > > > > >> > snowplow.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 25:

> > > > > >> > Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the @#$%^ & slop

> > > > > >> > tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my

> > > > > >> > blood boil. God I hate snow! Then the snowplow driver

> > > > > >> > came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the

> > > > > >> > head with my shovel. The Wife says I have a bad

> > > > > >> > attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch

> > > > > >> > " It's a Wonderful Life " one more time. I'm going to

> > > > > >> > kill her.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 26:

> > > > > >> > Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It

> > > > > >> > was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 27:

> > > > > >> > Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 28:

> > > > > >> > Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is

> > > > > >> > driving me crazy!!!

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 29:

> > > > > >> > 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or

> > > > > >> > it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever

> > > > > >> > heard. How dumb does he think I am?

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 30:

> > > > > >> > Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a

> > > > > >> > million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went

> > > > > >> > home to her mother. 9 " predicted.

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > December 31:

> > > > > >> > Set fire to what's left of the house. No more

> > > > > >> > Shoveling!!

> > > > > >> >

> > > > > >> > January 8:

> > > > > >> > I feel so good. I just love those little white pills

> > > > > >> > they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>