Guest guest Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 > >deer santa: > >I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. >Yer Frend, >BiLLy > >Dear , >Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I >send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving >your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! >Santa > > > > >Dear Santa, >I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace >and joy in the world for everybody! >Love, > > >Dear , >Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? >Santa > > > >Dear Santa, >I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my >mommy >and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. >Love, >Teddy > >Dear Teddy, >Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a >hurricane. >Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat >mom, >who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me >get >you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with >those? >Santa > > > >Dear Santa, >I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a >drum >kit, a pony and a tuba. >Love, >Francis > >Dear Francis, >Who names their kid " Francis " nowadays? I bet you're gay. >Santa > > > >Dear Santa, >I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for >your reindeer outside the back door. >Love, > > >Dear , >Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when >riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. >Santa > > > >Dear Santa, >What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making >toys? >Your friend, > > >Dear , >All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I >give >them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, >where >I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by >drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses >while >losing money at the craps table. >Santa > > P.S. > > Tell your mom she got the part. > > ÃfÆ'Ã'¢Ãf¢ââ'¬Å¡Ã'¬oeLong DongÃfÆ'Ã'¢Ãf¢ââ'¬Å¡Ã'¬Ãf'Ã' >Claus > > > > > Dear Santa, > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're > awake, like in the song? > Love, > > > Dear , > Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm >skipping >your house. > Santa > > > > > Dear Santa, > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE >PLEASE > could I have one? > Timmy > > Timmy, > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap >doesn't >work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. > Santa > > > > Dearest Santa, > We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? > Love, > Marky > > Mark, > First, stop calling yourself " Marky " , that's why you're getting >your ass >kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a >low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just >like >all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. > Sweet Dreams, > Santa > > >__________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 sorry, I have a new puter and I sent this tio the group by accident! > >Reply-To: NaturalThyroidHormones >To: bparodi@..., djones@..., ckrivickas@..., >Trier700@..., leslieb@..., jeffreymiller@..., >NaturalThyroidHormones , toleary@..., >pyroteknicpam@..., asilverberg@... >Subject: FW: Deer Santa >Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 17:05:56 -0800 > > > > > > > > >deer santa: > > > >I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. > >Yer Frend, > >BiLLy > > > >Dear , > >Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I > >send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving > >your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! > >Santa > > > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace > >and joy in the world for everybody! > >Love, > > > > > >Dear , > >Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? > >Santa > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my > >mommy > >and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. > >Love, > >Teddy > > > >Dear Teddy, > >Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a > >hurricane. > >Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat > >mom, > >who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me > >get > >you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with > >those? > >Santa > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a > >drum > >kit, a pony and a tuba. > >Love, > >Francis > > > >Dear Francis, > >Who names their kid " Francis " nowadays? I bet you're gay. > >Santa > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for > >your reindeer outside the back door. > >Love, > > > > > >Dear , > >Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when > >riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. > >Santa > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making > >toys? > >Your friend, > > > > > >Dear , > >All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I > >give > >them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, > >where > >I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by > >drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses > >while > >losing money at the craps table. > >Santa > > > > P.S. > > > > Tell your mom she got the part. > > > > ÃfÆ'Ã'¢Ãf¢ââ'¬Å¡Ã'¬oeLong DongÃfÆ'Ã'¢Ãf¢ââ'¬Å¡Ã'¬Ãf'Ã' > >Claus > > > > > > > > > > Dear Santa, > > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're > > awake, like in the song? > > Love, > > > > > > Dear , > > Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm > >skipping > >your house. > > Santa > > > > > > > > > > Dear Santa, > > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE > >PLEASE > > could I have one? > > Timmy > > > > Timmy, > > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap > >doesn't > >work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. > > Santa > > > > > > > > Dearest Santa, > > We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? > > Love, > > Marky > > > > Mark, > > First, stop calling yourself " Marky " , that's why you're getting > >your ass > >kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a > >low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just > >like > >all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. > > Sweet Dreams, > > Santa > > > > > >__________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 HO HO HO HA HA HA!!! Great laugh there Jamy JAMY wrote: sorry, I have a new puter and I sent this tio the group by accident! >From: " JAMY " >Reply-To: NaturalThyroidHormones >To: bparodi@..., djones@..., ckrivickas@..., >Trier700@..., leslieb@..., jeffreymiller@..., >NaturalThyroidHormones , toleary@..., >pyroteknicpam@..., asilverberg@... >Subject: FW: Deer Santa >Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 17:05:56 -0800 > > > > > > > > >deer santa: > > > >I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. > >Yer Frend, > >BiLLy > > > >Dear , > >Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I > >send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving > >your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! > >Santa > > > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace > >and joy in the world for everybody! > >Love, > > > > > >Dear , > >Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? > >Santa > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my > >mommy > >and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. > >Love, > >Teddy > > > >Dear Teddy, > >Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a > >hurricane. > >Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat > >mom, > >who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me > >get > >you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with > >those? > >Santa > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a > >drum > >kit, a pony and a tuba. > >Love, > >Francis > > > >Dear Francis, > >Who names their kid " Francis " nowadays? I bet you're gay. > >Santa > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for > >your reindeer outside the back door. > >Love, > > > > > >Dear , > >Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when > >riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. > >Santa > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > >What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making > >toys? > >Your friend, > > > > > >Dear , > >All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I > >give > >them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, > >where > >I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by > >drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses > >while > >losing money at the craps table. > >Santa > > > > P.S. > > > > Tell your mom she got the part. > > > > ÃfÆ'Ã'¢Ãf¢ââ'¬Å¡Ã'¬oeLong DongÃfÆ'Ã'¢Ãf¢ââ'¬Å¡Ã'¬Ãf'Ã' > >Claus > > > > > > > > > > Dear Santa, > > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're > > awake, like in the song? > > Love, > > > > > > Dear , > > Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm > >skipping > >your house. > > Santa > > > > > > > > > > Dear Santa, > > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE > >PLEASE > > could I have one? > > Timmy > > > > Timmy, > > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap > >doesn't > >work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. > > Santa > > > > > > > > Dearest Santa, > > We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? > > Love, > > Marky > > > > Mark, > > First, stop calling yourself " Marky " , that's why you're getting > >your ass > >kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a > >low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just > >like > >all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. > > Sweet Dreams, > > Santa > > > > > >__________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2004 Report Share Posted December 17, 2004 My son sent me this forwarded message today too. What a hoot it is!! LOL! ----- Original Message ----- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2004 Report Share Posted December 18, 2004 it is a tad naughty. I didn't mean to send it too the group. OOPS! > >Reply-To: NaturalThyroidHormones >To: <NaturalThyroidHormones > >Subject: Re: FW: Deer Santa >Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 22:08:25 -0800 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2004 Report Share Posted December 18, 2004 Hey! I loved it! lol. SandyE~Houston FW: Deer Santa > >Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 17:05:56 -0800 > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >deer santa: > > > > > >I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. > > >Yer Frend, > > >BiLLy > > > > > >Dear , > > >Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I > > >send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving > > >your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! > > >Santa > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > > >I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace > > >and joy in the world for everybody! > > >Love, > > > > > > > > >Dear , > > >Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? > > >Santa > > > > > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > > >I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my > > >mommy > > >and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. > > >Love, > > >Teddy > > > > > >Dear Teddy, > > >Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a > > >hurricane. > > >Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat > > >mom, > > >who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me > > >get > > >you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with > > >those? > > >Santa > > > > > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > > >I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a > > >drum > > >kit, a pony and a tuba. > > >Love, > > >Francis > > > > > >Dear Francis, > > >Who names their kid " Francis " nowadays? I bet you're gay. > > >Santa > > > > > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > > >I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for > > >your reindeer outside the back door. > > >Love, > > > > > > > > >Dear , > > >Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when > > >riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. > > >Santa > > > > > > > > > > > >Dear Santa, > > >What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making > > >toys? > > >Your friend, > > > > > > > > >Dear , > > >All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I > > >give > > >them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, > > >where > > >I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by > > >drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses > > >while > > >losing money at the craps table. > > >Santa > > > > > > P.S. > > > > > > Tell your mom she got the part. > > > > > > ÃfÆ'Ã'¢Ãf¢ââ'¬Å¡Ã'¬oeLong DongÃfÆ'Ã'¢Ãf¢ââ'¬Å¡Ã'¬Ãf'Ã' > > >Claus > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Dear Santa, > > > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're > > > awake, like in the song? > > > Love, > > > > > > > > > Dear , > > > Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm > > >skipping > > >your house. > > > Santa > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Dear Santa, > > > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE > > >PLEASE > > > could I have one? > > > Timmy > > > > > > Timmy, > > > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap > > >doesn't > > >work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again. > > > Santa > > > > > > > > > > > > Dearest Santa, > > > We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? > > > Love, > > > Marky > > > > > > Mark, > > > First, stop calling yourself " Marky " , that's why you're getting > > >your ass > > >kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a > > >low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just > > >like > > >all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. > > > Sweet Dreams, > > > Santa > > > > > > > > >__________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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