Charlotte

[Guest guest]

Bill,

I am so sorry to hear about Charlotte... My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Guest guest]

Bill,

I am so sorry to hear about Charlotte... My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Guest guest]

Deb,

I know this post wasn't directly for me but oh my goodness, what

inspiration! Just reading your post i want to jump up and down for you! What

wisdom. Here i am only 24 weighing in at 250 and being only 5'. I personally

am

not too worried about the pain, the drain, the scar, the change. What i am

worried about is being here for my children, getting down and playing horsey,

going out to the park and climbing the monkey bars with them. Being able to

look

at myself in the mirror again, instead at just looking at my face. I can't

wait to be able to run again, to sit in a chair and not worry about it coming

up with me when i get up, being able to tuck in my shirt and not see rolls of

fat. The other thing i can't wait to do again is wear lingerie, you know the

pretty panties and bras. To go to the mall with my kids and walk around and see

all the amazing things they see. To go to the beach and enjoy the sites,

sounds, water, sand, and not worry about what people are thinking about me in my

bathing suiit, or deciding if i should even wear one. For me there is no

turning back, my mind is made up. I know the risks, and am willing to forgoe

them

in order to be healthy. I don't worry about throwing up. The one thing i

want more than anything is to be healthy, and the biggest thing in the world i

want is to be happy again, have my self-esteem, self-confidence, self worth.

And if all i have to do is take this tool and use it i am good to go.

pre-op

[Guest guest]

Hi Charlotte,

Being nervous about this surgery is so normal. You've been reading and

researching and know that this surgery is life altering. I know, for me, I

was a nervous wreck, but I KNEW without a doubt that this surgery would save

my life. Yes, people think about backing out when they realize what is

involved, but you have to look at your life and health as it is now and as

it can be later. Then you have to make a decision about whether or not you

can commit yourself to the lifestyle. I would say that you should not

cancel your appointment. This is the opportunity for you to get all of your

questions answered from a medical perspective. Find out what are the risks,

what are the benefits, etc. (I walked into my surgeon's office with a list

of 65 questions... longest list he's had so far. He LOVED it.)

I have thrown up 6 times in 10 months. Some people throw up for a variety

of reasons. I know that I throw up ONLY when I eat too much or too fast.

It's your body's way of slowing you down. The thing you need to know is

that throwing up as a post-op is completely different than pre-op. We have

no more stomach acid (which is what makes vomiting so awful). If I take one

bite too much, it's THAT bite that comes back at me and moments afterward I

feel fine again. If you're gonna play around and test your limits by eating

too many carbs or too much sugar, then you're in for a different thing

(dumping), but as for throwing up, I don't find it traumatic at all (I used

to... I was terrorized of throwing up).

Yes, you will (at least I did) become obsessed with counting ounces of fluid

and grams of protein. This surgery is not to be taken lightly. It's not a

magic bullet that you have and you wake up thin. A huge part of your

success will be determined by you. If you decide to do this, you will be

altering your body in such a way that if you are not diligent about getting

in your fluids and protein, you can and will get dehydrated or malnourished,

neither one of which is fun. You also have to be serious about your

follow-up. You have to commit yourself to a vitamin/supplement plan so that

your body is getting the things it needs. If you become deficient in b-12,

for example, you can cause irreversible neurological problems. You have to

follow-up with your doctor for blood tests every 3 months the first year,

and every six months after that so ensure that you are absorbing the

vitamins and supplements necessary to maintain your health.

You are worried about tasting a Hershey bar again. That's a choice you'll

have to make. I found out by trying something that I don't dump from sugar.

I can have all the Hershey bars I want. But if I'm gonna go that route, I'm

gonna stall my weight loss and possibly cause a weight gain. Why would I

want to do that to myself? There are many other things out there that I can

satisfy my chocolate craving with. And, worst case scenario, now if I

absolutely HAVE TO HAVE that Hersheys, it's a bite and not the 1/2 lb. bar

that I used to eat 2 or 3 of at a time. That one bite satisfies me. (I had

a bite of one 3 months ago and have not looked for another one since.

It is such an incredible and rewarding feeling to know that I'm doing

something like this for myself for the first time in my life. I'm so worth

it. And honestly, once you get into the swing of things, it becomes second

nature to you. I don't sit and count the sips of fluids to see how much

I've gotten in. I set up my fluids for the day in the morning and by the

nighttime I know exactly how much I have to drink in order to meet my goal,

but it's usually met by 3 pm and I'm in fluid overdrive after that. It's no

big deal. I like the protein shakes but I don't do them EVERY day. For the

most part, I'm usually able to get my protein in through food, but when I

want to crank up my numbers I'll do a shake also.

As far as the pain goes, what is your pain tolerance like? I have a high

pain tolerance and was off the pain meds my first day in the hospital. I

was given Tylenol with codeine to go home with and I filled the prescription

when I got home (the ride home was uncomfortable) but I never used it.

I have a piece of fruit almost every day and I have veggies whenever I want

them. I just make sure that I've eaten my fill of protein first. I make

sure I get enough in. Then I'll wait a little while to give myself some

room and I'll have veggies next and fruit last. You don't realize it as a

pre-op, but your whole perspective changes and you begin to get very

selective about what you're eating. For me (and I know this is not true for

everyone, but it is for me) I want the best protein I can get because I want

to have room for other things as well, so I won't eat things that fill me if

they're low in protein. I usually can get between 20 and 30 grams at one

sitting, so I'm doing well in that area (I eat 3 times per day, usually no

snacking). I do not feel deprived about anything.

I think the majority of us feel, in the first few days following surgery,

" Oh my G-d, what DID I do to myself? " It's very hard waking up, looking the

same (I expected to be thin overnight!) and only able to live on liquids for

a time. It's a shock to your system because of how long food has run your

life. It's just part of the process. For the most part, we do well after

the surgery and the beginning days become a blur. It just becomes natural,

like putting on your socks and shoes. In the beginning I was desperate to

" get it right " and I would fixate on how much I was drinking and how much

protein I was getting in. Now it's just natural for me. I share a meal

with my daughter and there's leftovers. It's really a hoot.

Yes, you are correct. This is for the rest of your life and there is no

going back after it's done. But as I said before, weigh out your life as it

is now. For me, I was 386 lbs., on 27 medications daily, taking 50 units of

insulin 2xs per day, unable to walk more than a few feet and literally

dragging myself everywhere. I suffered from hypertension, high cholesterol,

neuropathy, GERD, diabetes, diabetic retinopathy, I'm an amputee and I

couldn't get my leg on myself. My kidney function was down to 65%.

Post-surgery, My hypertension, neuropathy, GERD and diabetes are GONE. My

vision went from 20/10 all my life to 50/475 with the retinopathy. On my

last visit to the eye doctor, my vision has returned to 20/20. My kidney

function is perfect. I had been taking 2800 mg. of neurontin for my

neuropathy. I don't take anything and the neuropathy is not noticeable

anymore. I am completely off meds for hypertension and diabetes. My

cholesterol is in normal range. I am able to walk (albeit limited due to my

prosthetic, but I'm able to walk for longer and longer on a daily basis). I

take six pills per day down from 27. I am able to get my leg on myself and

I find there's not enough time in the day to live my life. I think the

trade off of giving up the Hershey bar was well worth it. (Being very

sincere when I say this because, as I said, I used to eat 2-3 of the big

bars in one sitting).

I will be 50 on my next birthday and I feel like I'm first learning to live

life now. I'm looking very forward to the best of the rest of my life.

Your letter is not depressing to me. It's the wonderings of a woman who is

deciding on a plan that will radically change the rest of your life. It's

certainly not to be entered into lightly. Just keep researching and

learning until you feel comfortable in your own skin. No one can make this

decision for you, nor would they want to. Have the surgery, or don't, but

know that you did your best to make an educated decision for yourself that

was not based on fear of counting grams of protein, ounces of fluids or

giving up Hershey bars.

I wish you loads of luck in your decision making process. Sorry this was so

long, but you had so much to say that I related too... be well.

live each day like it's your last... love like you've never been hurt...

Deb in Hazlet, NJ

" Debbie Dancer "

distal rny

September 3, 2002

386/237/160?

BMI 60/35/24?

-149

-69.5 "

Angel to Bill (8/14/03), Debbie (waiting for a date) Ilene (6/26/03), Roy

(7/29/03) and Ro

[Guest guest]

I agree with you whole-heartedly! Vicki, Deb, and Tammy wrote such

awe inspiring replies to my letter. I am feeling so much better. I can’t

thank all of you enough. Last night, I went to bed in a pitiful and crying

mood, but tonight I feel such relief. Now, I’m beginning to get excited.

I too have thought so often about being able to wear pretty lingerie,

blouses tucked into my slacks, crop-top type jackets (not the kind that

have to cover my behind), modest bathing suits IN PUBLIC, rings that have

been tucked away in my jewelry box for years, and BELTS! Let me be clear

on something though. I am not doing this for cosmetic reasons, even after

what I have already written in this paragraph. I just want to be

comfortable in my own body!!! I want to fix some health problems that I

now have, and head off several others. That, in a nutshell is what’s most

important to me. All the rest is just “icing” (sorry about the use of

words.)

I’m beginning to look forward to my visit with the surgeon now. Thanks

again everyone. Now, I have to worry about whether the insurance will be

in compliance. Haha Once a worrier, always a worrier.

Charlotte

Pre-op-tomistic now

Re: Charlotte

Deb,

I know this post wasn't directly for me but oh my goodness, what

inspiration! Just reading your post i want to jump up and down for you!

What

wisdom. Here i am only 24 weighing in at 250 and being only 5'. I

personally am

not too worried about the pain, the drain, the scar, the change. What i am

worried about is being here for my children, getting down and playing

horsey,

going out to the park and climbing the monkey bars with them. Being able

to look

at myself in the mirror again, instead at just looking at my face. I can't

wait to be able to run again, to sit in a chair and not worry about it

coming

up with me when i get up, being able to tuck in my shirt and not see rolls

of

fat. The other thing i can't wait to do again is wear lingerie, you know

the

pretty panties and bras. To go to the mall with my kids and walk around

and see

all the amazing things they see. To go to the beach and enjoy the sites,

sounds, water, sand, and not worry about what people are thinking about me

in my

bathing suiit, or deciding if i should even wear one. For me there is no

turning back, my mind is made up. I know the risks, and am willing to

forgoe them

in order to be healthy. I don't worry about throwing up. The one thing i

want more than anything is to be healthy, and the biggest thing in the

world i

want is to be happy again, have my self-esteem, self-confidence, self

worth.

And if all i have to do is take this tool and use it i am good to go.

pre-op

[Guest guest]

It is funny becasue i read your letter it is the same feelings and thoughts i

have had for the last few months . I just want to be healthy and " normal " not

worried about my kids being teased or missing out on what they can't do because

of me..

Great thoughts

Peggy

Smile and Count your blessings life is to short