Guest guest Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 2004 IDIOT BADGE winners..... > >>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >>I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at > >>the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset > >>because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly > >>reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no > >>need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at > >>the end of the conversation happened to > >>mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to > >>kill > >>the ants. I told her that she'd better bring her daughter into the > >>emergency > >>room right away. > >> > >> > >> Â Here's your badge, lady. Wear it with pride. > >> > >> Â ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >> Â Number Two Idiot of 2004 > >>Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to > >>steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in > >>getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for > >>a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming > >>towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the > >>emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. > >>They are no longer employed at Boeing. > >> > >> > >> Â Here's your badge, guys. . > >> > >> Â ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >> Â Number Three Idiot of 2004 > >> > >> Â A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a > >>downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "t his iz > >>a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, > >>waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that > >>someone had seen him write the note > >>and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he > >>left > >>the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting > >>a > >>few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She > >>read > >>it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest > >>light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note > >>because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he > >>would > >>either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of > >>America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was > >>arrested a few minutes later , as he was waiting in the back at Bank of > >>America. > >> > >> > >> Â Don't bother with this guy's badge. He probably couldn't read it > >>anyway. > >> > >> Â ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >> Â Number Five Idiot of 2004 > >> > >> Â A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and > >>demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put > >>the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted > >>behind the counter on > > Â >the > >>shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the > >>cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21." > >>The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to > >>him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took > >>his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The > >>clerk looked it over and agreed that > >>the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber > >>then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the > >>police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the > >>license. They arrested the robber two hours later. > >> > >> > >> Â This guy definitely needs a badge! > >> > >> Â ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >> Â Idiot Number Six of 2004 > >> > >> Â A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving > >>revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner > >>moved, the startled first bandit shot him. > >> > >>This guy doesn't need a badge, he probably > >>figured it out himself. > >> > >> > >> Â ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >> Â Idiot Number Seven of 2004 > >> > >> Â Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd > >>just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some > >>booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his > >>head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would > >>be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor > >>store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on > >>videotape. Oh, that smarts. > >> > >> Â Give him his badge. > >> > >> Â ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >> > >> Â Idiot Number Eight of 2004 > >> > >> Â Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man > >>walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., > >>flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because > >>he said he couldn't open > >>the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion > >>rings, > >>the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, > >>frustrated, > >>walked away. Give him a badge. > >> > >> > >>Please note that all of the above people are allowed > >>to vote (and breed). No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Anti-Virus. Version: 7.0.296 / Virus Database: 265.5.4 - Release Date: 12/15/2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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