We only have one thing in common, but it's a big one

February 24, 2002

I'm just tired of people who waste my time posting complaints about what

gets included here. We are a very diverse bunch of people whose only common

ground is that most intimate part of our live., our obesity/surgery. But

obesity, surgery, weight loss, body changes, compulsive eating are but some

of the things that I believe belong here. We are here to support people we

don't really know through one of the biggest journey of our lives.

Sometimes we get happy talk. Sometimes it's the soul wrenching struggles and

insights that go with fundamental change. If we cannot come here and be

completely honest with the people most likely to understand us, support us

even if they don't understand and just share the struggle on all its levels,

why bother. If someone is merely looking for information on dietary

supplements, read an article, you don't need a dialogue with other people.

We are diverse bunch with a variety of needs. Some of what is written here

offers help of some kind, some seeks it.

None of us is interested in everything posted. That's the beauty in being

able to scroll through a digest and delete.

Terri in L.A.

Belly Buttons

>

> In a message dated 2/23/02 12:08:32 AM Central Standard Time,

> jwbry@... writes:

>

> > I told my wife I might come home from my hernia repair/panni without a

> > bellybutton, and she was aghast. Didn't know the thing (which hasn't

seen

> > daylight in decades) meant that much to her.....

> >

> > /john

>

> One of my wife's friends, upon learning that I had no belly button

following

> my tummy tuck said. " Now there is no proof that Bill is not an alien " .

I

> guess she is right. I really have not missed it at all and I like I told

my

> surgeon, I was done with it anyway. I like Sue R. said in her post,

continue

> to be amazed at the " flat tummy " thing although unlike her I have had no

> sensation from the missing belly button, still at three weeks out

everything

> continues to be pretty numb in that area.

>

> Bill in WV

> Open RNY 7/7/99

> Dr. Harvey Sugerman

> Medical College of Virginia - Richmond, VA

> Trigon BCBS

> Start 423 lbs. Current 211 lbs.

> 212 lbs. Gone Forever, but certainly not Forgotten

> Visit my website: http://openrny.homestead.com/WLS.htmlhttp://openrny.homestead.com/WL

S.html

> Don't let the " Chain of Love " end with you!

>

February 24, 2002

Amen and amen! I was just discussing this with another member and

while I couldn't quite define just why I thought that the cross talk

was important, she could. If we can't establish a loving, caring

atmosphere then we can't trust each other enough to revel our pain

and most difficult problems. The one-liners and cross talk lets each

of us see the affection that the members have for one another and

therefore a person feels safe enough trusting our most secret fears

to one another. And besides, it's fun! There needs to be fun in

this world.

Alice

The Loon

Dr. Boone

Dec. 28, 2000

.....We are a very diverse bunch of people whose only common ground is

that most intimate part of our live., our obesity/surgery....

February 24, 2002

Terri

You have managed to put into perspective, an idea that even I did not

realize until reading your post! Thank you! I did not give idle chatter

much thought one way or the other - if I was interested - I read it - if I

was not interested - I deleted it upon opening it. When people started

complaining I began to think that maybe I, too, felt the same way. But I

did not - it just isn't worth stressing about it. Who is anyone to say

exactly what " support " is??? What is support to one is not support to

another. We all have different needs and different expectations. I think

that we should privately email anything that is specific to one individual,

however that isn't even all that important, in the scheme of things. If the

amount of time it takes for someone to open a post and see that they are not

interested in that post, is more time than that person has to invest - then

by all means they should change their posts to digest. That is so simple to

do and would alleviate the " negative energy " that they seem to feel when

reading idle chatter.

The easiest way to put it - you guys who are so upset about the topics

discussed or rediscussed on this line need to chill!! Take what you need

from this group and throw away the rest. Please do not try to tell each of

us what it is we need as far as support go. By doing so, you are just as

guilty as those who post idle chatter!

I love this group! I have learned so much and I have established a rapport

with many people on this group. We all have common ground, which is more

than we can say we have in the " real world " . Nowhere will you find a group

where everyone agrees with everything that is going on. Not on line or not

in person! We are all diverse and all have different needs to get us

through each day. I can't even say that I am one with my own husband, who I

love and adore. He thinks most conversation out of my mouth is idle

chatter - and it probably is - but I have that need to express what it is I

have to say, when I need to say it!

Just try to put this into perspective and let the negative feelings go -

because I am sure you get far more good from this group than bad! And why

alienate individuals.........we all have the same goal - to get thin and to

stay thin!

And by the way - I am so excited - I am going to Irvine, CA in the morning

with my job. That is in Los Angeles. I am so excited to get out of the

cold and snow. It is, however, the day after the Olympics get over and Salt

Lake City Airport will be a zoo. I am contemplating spending the night in

the terminal to ensure I get out on my 10:00 a.m. plane. Just kidding. The

thrill of this trip - besides getting into a more temperate climate - is to

once again validate my worth in the business world - now that I am thin. It

just amazes me how much response we get thin - I posted this thought to my

old support group in Warner Robins, GA this morning. The business world has

no mercy on obesity! And I get to jump in with both feet on Tuesday - and

do not have to enter the room and get past the stares from the other people

(unless , of course, they are staring at my beautiful body:) )

Have a great week - and to those who have voiced objections - chill!!!

Love

Janelle

We only have one thing in common, but it's a big

one