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I am cleaning out my computer - files and emails - and came across

this one from before I retired. Thought you all might enjoy some of

these.

Wordwatch

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline

was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps

on everything, and then leaves.

Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and

advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming

upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.

Prairie dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a

cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's

going on.

Mouse potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch

potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What

yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops

working to stay home with the kids.

Stress puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed-out and

whiney.

Swipe-out: A credit card that has been rendered useless because the

magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for stealing free photocopies from the

workplace.

Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying

but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The OJ trials

were a prime example.

Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of beating the hell out of an

electronic device to get it to work again.

Adminisphere: The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above

the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are

often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they

were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error

message " 404 Not Found, " meaning that the requested document could

not be located.

Generica: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the

same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,

subdivisions.

Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that

you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYs: Well-Off Older Folks.

Crop dusting: Surreptitiously breaking wind while passing through a

cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to

prairie-dogging.

____________________________________________________________

Business glossary

EUPHEMISMS are an increasingly annoying feature of the business

world's vocabulary. The following examples are extracted from " The

Official Rules and Explanations - The Original Guide to Surviving

the Electronic Age with Wit, Wisdom and Laughter " , compiled by

Dickson.

Developed After Years of Intensive Research: Discovered by accident

Expedite: To confound confusion with emotion

Forwarded For Your Consideration: You hold the bag for a while

Give Us The Benefit Of Your Present Thinking: We'll listen to what

you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've

already decided to do

In Conference: Nobody can find him/her

Let's Get Together On This: I'm assuming you're as confused as I am

Note And Initial: Let's spread the responsibility for this

Under Active Consideration: We're looking in the files for it

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Who are you today??

------------------

I'm not sure I follow your question about WHO I am today, but I can

tell you WHAT I am: I am one more step removed from my past life.

A lot of those emails that got deleted were being saved " just in

case. " Deleting them may be nothing more than a symbolic gesture on

my part, but I did it with a definite sense that that part of my

life is behind me. There were more than a few that got my teeth

clenched and BP spiked from just glancing at them. There was much

there that needed to be deleted, and not just from my computer.

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So WHOSE computer were you actually cleaning off, Mike??? Your's or

Dar's???

And, are you and Dar woofys???? WOOFYs: Well-Off Older Folks.

ducking and running from Mike's cyber womping!>

----------------

(1) I have decided that the www abreviation on the internet does not

stand for world wide web - it stands for Wicked Witch of Wisconsin.

(2) Yes. We most definitely are WOOFY's - WORN OUT Older Folks.

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Well, Mike I would call you CCWOOF - Computer Cleaner Worn Out Older

Folk, and I think I'll change me to CWOOFWAC (Cold Worn Out Older

Folk With A Cold)! LOL!

Love CWOOFWAC

aka Lana

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OT - Business Humor

I am cleaning out my computer - files and emails - and came across

this one from before I retired. Thought you all might enjoy some of

these.

So WHOSE computer were you actually cleaning off, Mike??? Your's or Dar's???

And, are you and Dar woofys???? WOOFYs: Well-Off Older Folks. <ducking and

running from Mike's cyber womping!>

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In a message dated 2/17/04 1:28:44 PM Eastern Standard Time, mike@...

writes:

<< it stands for Wicked Witch of Wisconsin. >>

Ah, ha, ah, ..........Mike really got you this time Bonnie! ROTFLMAO!!!!!

Hugs,

Sue

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