Newbe; RSD is my life story

[Guest guest]

Dear Everyone,

I could not be happier to have found this group. Although I was

only diagnosed with RSD 2 years ago the result of a car crash 5 years

ago my further research has lead me to realize that I have had RSD all

of my life. I first documented it at age ten or less when I asked my

dad about electric shocks in my upper thigh and he told me it was

ingrown hairs, an answer I was satisfied with for the next almost 40

years. I suffered from extreme social anxiety in all its forms, I ran

out of stores and restaurants, had few friends, and after college

lived as a bachelor involved with life only from behind windows and

closed doors.

Unable to understand the constant onslaught of emotional pain I

turned to writing to relieve some of the pressure of my unhappy life.

In college a writing teacher gave me a literary critique which would

be an equally valid medical evaluation. She told me, 'You write like a

man with no skin.'

My marriage only lasted 12 years and wife left, leaving me with

the kids. Two years later a sleeping driver hit me head on and the

foot, on the same side where I had the electric shocks, was crushed.

Casted, anxiety became my constant enemy and when before I had a few

attacks of anxiety in my life now they were a regular part of my life.

After surgery pain went down then up then expanded first to the other

foot then the hands. Most recently bilateral carpel tunnel has been

blossoming. It was induced by the original trauma of the head on

collision.

I feel most of my faculties rapidly declining. I feel like I am

living dog years and I take solice in thoughts of suicide. I would

like to write a book and disappear. Al

[Guest guest]

Welcome Al... we are very glad that you found us.

Your story is very interesting, especially your knowledge of how early you had RSD. I've never really thought about it, although I suffered numerous traumas as a child..

We've all felt as you do, every day seems a burden.. however, any thoughts of suicide leads me to suggest counseling. It is not, truly, an option. You mentioned you had children. That, alone, is reason enough..

I hope you find everyone here to be supportive and caring. This is a wonderful group of people...

Hugs,

Jo

[Guest guest]

Al - Welcome to the group and please try to put aside those suicidal thoughts. Depression often, unfortunately and not surprisingly, a spin-off from RSD. Unremitting pain can do that to you ! It's interesting that you refer to the "zings" that you experienced earlier in your pre-RSD life. Both Tricia and I have talked about having had the same experience. Bizarre to see someone else bring it up here....Maybe Tricia and I aren't as crazy as we thought (Okay. Maybe we are.)

What kind of treatment are you currently receiving? With what sounds like pretty heavy duty depression, I hope also that you've set up some ways of receiving solid emotional support. Although we can't replace professional help, I hope this place brings you some of the support and comfort that you seek. RSD is one tough cookie. Barbarasinglew4 wrote:

Dear Everyone,I could not be happier to have found this group. Although I wasonly diagnosed with RSD 2 years ago the result of a car crash 5 yearsago my further research has lead me to realize that I have had RSD allof my life. I first documented it at age ten or less when I asked mydad about electric shocks in my upper thigh and he told me it wasingrown hairs, an answer I was satisfied with for the next almost 40years. I suffered from extreme social anxiety in all its forms, I ranout of stores and restaurants, had few friends, and after collegelived as a bachelor involved with life only from behind windows andclosed doors. Unable to understand the constant onslaught of emotional pain Iturned to writing to relieve some of the pressure of my unhappy life.In college a writing teacher gave me a literary critique which

wouldbe an equally valid medical evaluation. She told me, 'You write like aman with no skin.'My marriage only lasted 12 years and wife left, leaving me withthe kids. Two years later a sleeping driver hit me head on and thefoot, on the same side where I had the electric shocks, was crushed.Casted, anxiety became my constant enemy and when before I had a fewattacks of anxiety in my life now they were a regular part of my life.After surgery pain went down then up then expanded first to the otherfoot then the hands. Most recently bilateral carpel tunnel has beenblossoming. It was induced by the original trauma of the head oncollision.I feel most of my faculties rapidly declining. I feel like I amliving dog years and I take solice in thoughts of suicide. I wouldlike to write a book and disappear. Al

[Guest guest]

Hope you feel better!

If you feel you've had RSD from birth, you might want to check out

the book " Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight, " by Sharon

Heller. It talks about people who are sensitive, or " sensory

defensive, " as she puts it. She doesn't talk about RSD, but my guess

is that people with touchy nervous systems are more susceptible to

RSD after an injury/trauma. There is also a yahoo group for adult

sensory defensives.

Other web sites where I've found a lot of info on RSD (and not all of

it terrifying!):

http://neuro-www.mgh.harvard.edu/forum

wwww.rsdrx.com

Also please consider that your struggle may help others, and so it

may be worth sticking around for a while, or at least today (this is

what i tell myself).

>

> Dear Everyone,

> I could not be happier to have found this group. Although I was

> only diagnosed with RSD 2 years ago the result of a car crash 5

years

> ago my further research has lead me to realize that I have had RSD

all

> of my life....