Re: Bizarre Experience

[Guest guest]

I may be stating the obvious here, but...

This person sounds like they are extremely jealous of you. Keep succeeding,

it will piss them off even more. See, success really can be fun.

You said, " He then proceeded to grill me on which meetings I was attending. "

I have had people do this to me, in the past. I just informed them that I

reserved that information for members of my support group. I have had one

person push this issue, and I had to explain to them that I did not choose

them as a member of my support group because they had nothing that I wanted,

or needed. I explained to them that it was not God's will that they were in

my life, it was their own self will, and they needed to call their sponsor

if they wanted to continue this discussion with someone. They shut up and

went away. As a matter of a fact, they didn't talk to me again.

Hmmmm......LOL

Bizarre Experience

> I normally attend a Wednesday evening professional

> discussion group. It's an AA meeting that doesn't

> call itself one. If I want to be admitted to the bar

> in the state in which I'm currently living, it's in my

> best interest to go to one of these meetings each

> week. I had the day off from work yesterday, and went

> to a similar meeting near my apartment. I ran into

> someone I'd met at meetings almost 12 months ago.

> We're both attorneys, and, as I was " new " to meetings

> in the area I was told to contact him. Anyway, I'd

> moved to a new town, and our paths no longer crossed

> at meetings. I called him several times, never

> received any return calls, and never gave him any more

> thought. I knew that he sometimes attended this

> particular discussion group, but I was not prepared

> for the attitude he brought with him.

>

> Although, I had already introduced myself to people at

> this meeting, this individual proceeded to announce

> that, although my face might not be familiar, I had

> " certainly earned [my] seat at the table. " He

> proceeded to comment on my appearance, stating that it

> looked like I hadn't been eating right. Now, I've

> lost 15 pounds over the course of the last 6 months.

> I've been eating right, and running 3-4 miles 3-4 days

> each week, something I haven't done since college.

>

> The whole experience just pissed me off. I was

> tempted to explain all this to him, but instead just

> shook my head. I've faced the same attitude from any

> of the 12-Steppers I first met last year. One I spoke

> to asked me whether I was going to meetings. I

> responded that I was, which is the truth. He then

> proceeded to grill me on which meetings I was

> attending. These geniuses have not yet figured out

> that it is no longer convenient for me to attend

> meetings in a town in which I no longer live. It

> shouldn't bother me, but I'm convinced my encounter

> with this one jackass will make its way through the AA

> gossip grapevine. It's amazing how people who have

> had no involvement with XA fail to appreciate how much

> of a cult it is.

>

> O. Boyce

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Boyce, if you really want to zing him, just say, " yeah, you dumb bastard!

pPeople lose weight when they stop drinking! Hmm, you seem a little plump

there. " *lol* That'll show him.

Drew

" O. Boyce " wrote:

> I normally attend a Wednesday evening professional

> discussion group. It's an AA meeting that doesn't

> call itself one. If I want to be admitted to the bar

> in the state in which I'm currently living, it's in my

> best interest to go to one of these meetings each

> week. I had the day off from work yesterday, and went

> to a similar meeting near my apartment. I ran into

> someone I'd met at meetings almost 12 months ago.

> We're both attorneys, and, as I was " new " to meetings

> in the area I was told to contact him. Anyway, I'd

> moved to a new town, and our paths no longer crossed

> at meetings. I called him several times, never

> received any return calls, and never gave him any more

> thought. I knew that he sometimes attended this

> particular discussion group, but I was not prepared

> for the attitude he brought with him.

>

> Although, I had already introduced myself to people at

> this meeting, this individual proceeded to announce

> that, although my face might not be familiar, I had

> " certainly earned [my] seat at the table. " He

> proceeded to comment on my appearance, stating that it

> looked like I hadn't been eating right. Now, I've

> lost 15 pounds over the course of the last 6 months.

> I've been eating right, and running 3-4 miles 3-4 days

> each week, something I haven't done since college.

>

> The whole experience just pissed me off. I was

> tempted to explain all this to him, but instead just

> shook my head. I've faced the same attitude from any

> of the 12-Steppers I first met last year. One I spoke

> to asked me whether I was going to meetings. I

> responded that I was, which is the truth. He then

> proceeded to grill me on which meetings I was

> attending. These geniuses have not yet figured out

> that it is no longer convenient for me to attend

> meetings in a town in which I no longer live. It

> shouldn't bother me, but I'm convinced my encounter

> with this one jackass will make its way through the AA

> gossip grapevine. It's amazing how people who have

> had no involvement with XA fail to appreciate how much

> of a cult it is.

>

> O. Boyce

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

"If I want to be admitted to the bar in the state in which I'm currently living, it's in my best interest to go to one of these meetings each week."

"O" -

Would you please 'splain what you mean by this? I have never heard of having to go to a "spiritual" meeting to get admitted to a state bar.

Janice

"O. Boyce " wrote: I normally attend a Wednesday evening professionaldiscussion group. It's an AA meeting that doesn'tcall itself one. If I want to be admitted to the barin the state in which I'm currently living, it's in mybest interest to go to one of these meetings eachweek. I had the day off from work yesterday, and wentto a similar meeting near my apartment. I ran intosomeone I'd met at meetings almost 12 months ago. We're both attorneys, and, as I was "new" to meetingsin the area I was told to contact him. Anyway, I'dmoved to a new town, and our paths no longer crossedat meetings. I called him several times, neverreceived any return calls, and never gave him any morethought. I knew that he sometimes attended thisparticular discussion group, but I was not preparedfor the attitude he brought with him.Although, I had already introduced myself to people atthis meeting, this individual proceeded to announcethat, although my face might not be familiar, I had"certainly earned [my] seat at the table." Heproceeded to comment on my appearance, stating that itlooked like I hadn't been eating right. Now, I'velost 15 pounds over the course of the last 6 months. I've been eating right, and running 3-4 miles 3-4 dayseach week, something I haven't done since college. The whole experience just pissed me off. I wastempted to explain all this to him, but instead justshook my head. I've faced the same attitude from anyof the 12-Steppers I first met last year. One I spoketo asked me whether I was going to meetings. Iresponded that I was, which is the truth. He thenproceeded to grill me on which meetings I wasattending. These geniuses have not yet figured outthat it is no longer convenient for me to attendmeetings in a town in which I no longer live. Itshouldn't bother me, but I'm convinced my encounterwith this one jackass will make its way through the AAgossip grapevine. It's amazing how people who havehad no involvement with XA fail to appreciate how muchof a cult it is.O. Boyce __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

--- Janice La janicelamonica@...> wrote:

>

>

> " If I want to be admitted to the bar in the state in

> which I'm currently living, it's in my best interest

> to go to one of these meetings each week. "

>

> " O " -

>

> Would you please 'splain what you mean by this? I

> have never heard of having to go to a " spiritual "

> meeting to get admitted to a state bar.

>

> Janice

>

Janice,

I should say that it's not really mandatory, but it IS

strongly encouraged. Here's the situation as briefly

as I can explain it.

Bar admission in just about every jurisdiction hinges

on passage of the bar exam requirements and satisfying

the requirements set forth by the committee on

character and fitness. One of the questions involves

a history of substance abuse within a certain period

(in the case of the state I'm in, Florida, this period

is 10 years). The fact that I've been to detox and

rehab certainly qualifies me. Florida has a Lawyers'

Assistance Program which sponsors events, discussion

groups, and can, in effect, present one's " case for

fitness " to the Florida Bar. One of the conditions I

agreed to (it was explained to me that the process

would be pretty painful if I didn't) a " contract " with

the Lawyers' Assistance Program involving attendance

of a weekly attorney's discussion group.

Noone held a gun to my head, but I've been told horror

stories involving those persons who didn't " play

ball. "

Boyce

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Boyce -

Now I understand. Thanks.

I just listened to a voice mail message from my former co-sponsee - I wanted to continue to be friends with her (we spoke twice a day, almost every day, for over a year) notwithstanding my leaving AA. Her message says that she can't be friends with me under the circumstances, because this is a "delicate" time of year for her, and she doesn't think she can handle the change. This is only confirming what I have read about what AA does to the mind. She isn't comfortable just being my friend, which tells me she never was. A voice mail message, no less.

Janice "O. Boyce " wrote: --- Janice La wrote:> > > "If I want to be admitted to the bar in the state in> which I'm currently living, it's in my best interest> to go to one of these meetings each week." > > "O" -> > Would you please 'splain what you mean by this? I> have never heard of having to go to a "spiritual"> meeting to get admitted to a state bar.> > Janice > Janice,I should say that it's not really mandatory, but it ISstrongly encouraged. Here's the situation as brieflyas I can explain it.Bar admission in just about every jurisdiction hingeson passage of the bar exam requirements and satisfyingthe requirements set forth by the committee oncharacter and fitness. One of the questions involvesa history of substance abuse within a certain period(in the case of the state I'm in, Florida, this periodis 10 years). The fact that I've been to detox andrehab certainly qualifies me. Florida has a Lawyers'Assistance Program which sponsors events, discussiongroups, and can, in effect, present one's "case forfitness" to the Florida Bar. One of the conditions Iagreed to (it was explained to me that the processwould be pretty painful if I didn't) a "contract" withthe Lawyers' Assistance Program involving attendanceof a weekly attorney's discussion group.Noone held a gun to my head, but I've been told horrorstories involving those persons who didn't "playball."Boyce __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Janice, I'm going through the same situation with a

few people. It hurts, I must admit. I'm going to try

to adopt your attitude and remind myself that real

friends wouldn't act that way.

Several of my true friends (who, not concidentally are

not and never have been in A.A.) seem to care more

about how I'm doing, regardless of what my attitude

towards A.A. is.

--- Janice La janicelamonica@...> wrote:

>

> > I just listened to a voice mail message from my

> former co-sponsee - I wanted to continue to be

> friends with her (we spoke twice a day, almost every

> day, for over a year) notwithstanding my leaving AA.

> Her message says that she can't be friends with me

> under the circumstances, because this is a

> " delicate " time of year for her, and she doesn't

> think she can handle the change. This is only

> confirming what I have read about what AA does to

> the mind. She isn't comfortable just being my

> friend, which tells me she never was. A voice mail

> message, no less.

> Janice

> " O. Boyce " oberyn@...> wrote:

> --- Janice La janicelamonica@...>

> wrote:

> >

> >

> > " If I want to be admitted to the bar in the state

> in

> > which I'm currently living, it's in my best

> interest

> > to go to one of these meetings each week. "

> >

> > " O " -

> >

> > Would you please 'splain what you mean by this? I

> > have never heard of having to go to a " spiritual "

> > meeting to get admitted to a state bar.

> >

> > Janice

> >

> Janice,

>

> I should say that it's not really mandatory, but it

> IS

> strongly encouraged. Here's the situation as

> briefly

> as I can explain it.

>

> Bar admission in just about every jurisdiction

> hinges

> on passage of the bar exam requirements and

> satisfying

> the requirements set forth by the committee on

> character and fitness. One of the questions

> involves

> a history of substance abuse within a certain period

> (in the case of the state I'm in, Florida, this

> period

> is 10 years). The fact that I've been to detox and

> rehab certainly qualifies me. Florida has a

> Lawyers'

> Assistance Program which sponsors events, discussion

> groups, and can, in effect, present one's " case for

> fitness " to the Florida Bar. One of the conditions

> I

> agreed to (it was explained to me that the process

> would be pretty painful if I didn't) a " contract "

> with

> the Lawyers' Assistance Program involving attendance

> of a weekly attorney's discussion group.

>

> Noone held a gun to my head, but I've been told

> horror

> stories involving those persons who didn't " play

> ball. "

>

> Boyce

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Boyce -

The two people I trusted most are turning their backs on me - but then again, there wasn't any alternative, at least in their minds. It was *I* who deserted *them*, and I can understand that thinking - Just didn't think it would apply to *me*.

Janice

"O. Boyce " wrote: Janice, I'm going through the same situation with afew people. It hurts, I must admit. I'm going to tryto adopt your attitude and remind myself that realfriends wouldn't act that way. Several of my true friends (who, not concidentally arenot and never have been in A.A.) seem to care moreabout how I'm doing, regardless of what my attitudetowards A.A. is. --- Janice La wrote:> > > I just listened to a voice mail message from my> former co-sponsee - I wanted to continue to be> friends with her (we spoke twice a day, almost every> day, for over a year) notwithstanding my leaving AA.> Her message says that she can't be friends with me> under the circumstances, because this is a> "delicate" time of year for her, and she doesn't> think she can handle the change. This is only> confirming what I have read about what AA does to> the mind. She isn't comfortable just being my> friend, which tells me she never was. A voice mail> message, no less.> Janice > "O. Boyce " wrote: > --- Janice La > wrote:> > > > > > "If I want to be admitted to the bar in the state> in> > which I'm currently living, it's in my best> interest> > to go to one of these meetings each week." > > > > "O" -> > > > Would you please 'splain what you mean by this? I> > have never heard of having to go to a "spiritual"> > meeting to get admitted to a state bar.> > > > Janice > > > Janice,> > I should say that it's not really mandatory, but it> IS> strongly encouraged. Here's the situation as> briefly> as I can explain it.> > Bar admission in just about every jurisdiction> hinges> on passage of the bar exam requirements and> satisfying> the requirements set forth by the committee on> character and fitness. One of the questions> involves> a history of substance abuse within a certain period> (in the case of the state I'm in, Florida, this> period> is 10 years). The fact that I've been to detox and> rehab certainly qualifies me. Florida has a> Lawyers'> Assistance Program which sponsors events, discussion> groups, and can, in effect, present one's "case for> fitness" to the Florida Bar. One of the conditions> I> agreed to (it was explained to me that the process> would be pretty painful if I didn't) a "contract"> with> the Lawyers' Assistance Program involving attendance> of a weekly attorney's discussion group.> > Noone held a gun to my head, but I've been told> horror> stories involving those persons who didn't "play> ball."> > Boyce > > > > > > > __________________________________________________>

[Guest guest]

>

> Noone held a gun to my head, but I've been told horror

> stories involving those persons who didn't " play

> ball. "

>

> Boyce

Best of luck, Boyce. Interesting story behind Mr. FLA. Just click

on the last word (here) of the first paragraph. No links to Smart,

RR, etc, etc.

http://www.fla-lap.org/mjc/

Tommy

[Guest guest]

Janice, I feel less of a bond with my mom, because of her 12 step

attendance. She doesn't go anymore. It's been about 5 years since she did,

but when she was going, she would constantly try to recruit me. (or perhaps

indoctrinate is a better word. She would pretend that she wanted advice from

me, when she was just using it to sell OA to me. She would use other

techniques on me to get me into 12 steps. Once we were talking or something,

and I remember that she just all of a sudden said, " you can't relate to

others! " She shouted it. It was weird for me after that. I heard her voice

ringing in my head, saying " you can't relate to others. " After that, I just

felt so out of control in social situations. In reading Steve Hassans'

Releasing the Bonds, He describes a phobia indoctrination techniqoe similar

to what my did. I wonder if someone in the 12 step group told my mom to

approach me that way.

Sincerely, Drew.

" O. Boyce " wrote:

> Janice, I'm going through the same situation with a

> few people. It hurts, I must admit. I'm going to try

> to adopt your attitude and remind myself that real

> friends wouldn't act that way.

>

> Several of my true friends (who, not concidentally are

> not and never have been in A.A.) seem to care more

> about how I'm doing, regardless of what my attitude

> towards A.A. is.

>

> --- Janice La janicelamonica@...> wrote:

> >

> > > I just listened to a voice mail message from my

> > former co-sponsee - I wanted to continue to be

> > friends with her (we spoke twice a day, almost every

> > day, for over a year) notwithstanding my leaving AA.

> > Her message says that she can't be friends with me

> > under the circumstances, because this is a

> > " delicate " time of year for her, and she doesn't

> > think she can handle the change. This is only

> > confirming what I have read about what AA does to

> > the mind. She isn't comfortable just being my

> > friend, which tells me she never was. A voice mail

> > message, no less.

> > Janice

> > " O. Boyce " oberyn@...> wrote:

> > --- Janice La janicelamonica@...>

> > wrote:

> > >

> > >

> > > " If I want to be admitted to the bar in the state

> > in

> > > which I'm currently living, it's in my best

> > interest

> > > to go to one of these meetings each week. "

> > >

> > > " O " -

> > >

> > > Would you please 'splain what you mean by this? I

> > > have never heard of having to go to a " spiritual "

> > > meeting to get admitted to a state bar.

> > >

> > > Janice

> > >

> > Janice,

> >

> > I should say that it's not really mandatory, but it

> > IS

> > strongly encouraged. Here's the situation as

> > briefly

> > as I can explain it.

> >

> > Bar admission in just about every jurisdiction

> > hinges

> > on passage of the bar exam requirements and

> > satisfying

> > the requirements set forth by the committee on

> > character and fitness. One of the questions

> > involves

> > a history of substance abuse within a certain period

> > (in the case of the state I'm in, Florida, this

> > period

> > is 10 years). The fact that I've been to detox and

> > rehab certainly qualifies me. Florida has a

> > Lawyers'

> > Assistance Program which sponsors events, discussion

> > groups, and can, in effect, present one's " case for

> > fitness " to the Florida Bar. One of the conditions

> > I

> > agreed to (it was explained to me that the process

> > would be pretty painful if I didn't) a " contract "

> > with

> > the Lawyers' Assistance Program involving attendance

> > of a weekly attorney's discussion group.

> >

> > Noone held a gun to my head, but I've been told

> > horror

> > stories involving those persons who didn't " play

> > ball. "

> >

> > Boyce

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Drew -

I spoke with my brother this morning - He hasn't had a drink for 12 years and doesn't go to AA. All this time, he never said anything to me about his distaste for AA and the brainwashing/cult parts of thre "program" which he recognized and which had turned him off so many years ago. He was smart enough not to try to tell me something that I *know* I would have rejected while I was active in AA. In the little time I have been out of AA, I have come to realize that words spoken by someone not believing in the concepts of a 12-step program to one who does fall on deaf ears. I am experiencing that now. Since your mom hasn't gone to a meeting in years, is it because she has gained back the weight and is just too embarrassed to go back? Maybe she has given up hope for herself but hopes to "save" you? I am asking this from the grouper way of thinking. I was really humiliated when I "slipped" a number of times and forced myself to go back to my home group and tell on myself each time I drank. I felt like such a loser. There are other alternatives to 12-step programs, although I didn't realize it while being absolutely consumed by AA dogma. I need to repeat how I came to realize how AA (or OA, NA,CA, etc.)really works. Accidentally found the "aadeprogramming" site looking for an AA chat room - Went into the site looking for a fight about how wonderful AA is and how wrong these people are to put it down. Looked at the messages which opened my eyes a little because I recognized the behaviors which were spoken about - As suggested, went to "aakills.com" where I printed out the book "The Real AA: Behind the Myth of 12-step Recovery". It covers any 12-step thinking. Just the first few pages had me sold. In AA, there is talk about finding a "new freedom". I have found it, but not in AA.

Hope this helps.

Janice

coleandr wrote: Janice, I feel less of a bond with my mom, because of her 12 stepattendance. She doesn't go anymore. It's been about 5 years since she did,but when she was going, she would constantly try to recruit me. (or perhapsindoctrinate is a better word. She would pretend that she wanted advice fromme, when she was just using it to sell OA to me. She would use othertechniques on me to get me into 12 steps. Once we were talking or something,and I remember that she just all of a sudden said, "you can't relate toothers!" She shouted it. It was weird for me after that. I heard her voiceringing in my head, saying "you can't relate to others." After that, I justfelt so out of control in social situations. In reading Steve Hassans'Releasing the Bonds, He describes a phobia indoctrination techniqoe similarto what my did. I wonder if someone in the 12 step group told my mom toapproach me that way. Sincerely, Drew."O. Boyce " wrote:> Janice, I'm going through the same situation with a> few people. It hurts, I must admit. I'm going to try> to adopt your attitude and remind myself that real> friends wouldn't act that way.>> Several of my true friends (who, not concidentally are> not and never have been in A.A.) seem to care more> about how I'm doing, regardless of what my attitude> towards A.A. is.>> --- Janice La wrote:> >> > > I just listened to a voice mail message from my> > former co-sponsee - I wanted to continue to be> > friends with her (we spoke twice a day, almost every> > day, for over a year) notwithstanding my leaving AA.> > Her message says that she can't be friends with me> > under the circumstances, because this is a> > "delicate" time of year for her, and she doesn't> > think she can handle the change. This is only> > confirming what I have read about what AA does to> > the mind. She isn't comfortable just being my> > friend, which tells me she never was. A voice mail> > message, no less.> > Janice> > "O. Boyce " wrote:> > --- Janice La > > wrote:> > >> > >> > > "If I want to be admitted to the bar in the state> > in> > > which I'm currently living, it's in my best> > interest> > > to go to one of these meetings each week."> > >> > > "O" -> > >> > > Would you please 'splain what you mean by this? I> > > have never heard of having to go to a "spiritual"> > > meeting to get admitted to a state bar.> > >> > > Janice> > >> > Janice,> >> > I should say that it's not really mandatory, but it> > IS> > strongly encouraged. Here's the situation as> > briefly> > as I can explain it.> >> > Bar admission in just about every jurisdiction> > hinges> > on passage of the bar exam requirements and> > satisfying> > the requirements set forth by the committee on> > character and fitness. One of the questions> > involves> > a history of substance abuse within a certain period> > (in the case of the state I'm in, Florida, this> > period> > is 10 years). The fact that I've been to detox and> > rehab certainly qualifies me. Florida has a> > Lawyers'> > Assistance Program which sponsors events, discussion> > groups, and can, in effect, present one's "case for> > fitness" to the Florida Bar. One of the conditions> > I> > agreed to (it was explained to me that the process> > would be pretty painful if I didn't) a "contract"> > with> > the Lawyers' Assistance Program involving attendance> > of a weekly attorney's discussion group.> >> > Noone held a gun to my head, but I've been told> > horror> > stories involving those persons who didn't "play> > ball."> >> > Boyce > >> >> >> >> >> >> > __________________________________________________> >