Re: AA dream last nite

[Guest guest]

Kiki, I know. AA can drive someone to be an alcoholic.What are some of the

things Danny Bonaduce has said about rehab?

kikibaby67 wrote:

> Drew,

>

> I'm thinking Danny Bonaduce is not drinking without the help of " the

> program " . I can't imagine he's into the whole aa thing after his

> experiences in those rehabs.

>

> In a strange coincidence(not a " GOD SHOT! " ) my old sponsor emailed me

> today. She told me that if I hadn't abused my meds or had any alcohol

> then last nite would have been my one year birthday. Nope, I ruined my

> sobriety with a shot of whiskey. The tequila didn't help either.

> At any rate I got invited to celebrate another aa friends sobriety at

> her one yar party. I don't that would be any fun for an alcoholic in

> denial like myself.

>

> kiki

>

>

> >

> > > I had a AA dream last nite. I was walking down the street and my

> old

> > > sponsor and another young woman from AA came upon me. We chatted

> and

> > > they asked where I'd been and so on. I don't remember but they

> > > suggested I go with them to the women's stag that nite. I declined

> and

> > > they persisted. Somehow I felt I couldn't resist them and they

> walked

> > > me to the meeting. I kept thinking I'd ditch them on the way, but

> it

> > > didn't happen. Every protest I used they countered. It's not that

> they

> > > made sense but that I had been trained to " follow sponsor

> direction "

> > > and it was hard for me to say no to her face. We got the spot

> where

> > > the stag was.

> > >

> > > I got separated from them somehow and was gonna make my way out of

> the

> > > building when the young women found me and brought me down to the

> > > stag. At the stag I used to go to you had to go around the room

> and

> > > say how much sobriety time you have. I remember thinking I'd just

> lie

> > > and say that I hadn't gone out. I was stressing about this part as

> I

> > > had done times before when I went out or had to change my date for

> > > some stupid reason. I don't know what happened but I found my self

> at

> > > a sober volleyball game. I used to be in the Pacific Group and

> we'd go

> > > to Clancy's house and play volleyball on saturdays. I liked the

> > > volleyball, but I didn't like the feeling that I was at some

> christian

> > > retreat. The women cooked the hotdogs, coleslaw and cleaned the

> > > kitchen while the men had to clean the yard or whatever.

> > > I had this feeling during my dream that I was being sucked in. I

> was

> > > enjoying the game and was considering coming back....ARGGGHHHHH.

> > >

> > > This morning I was listening to Danny Bonaduce on the radio. I

> guess

> > > he got sober or quit drinking or whatever. I always liked him

> cause

> > > he'd talk so much shit about all the recovery programs he'd been

> in.

> > > He quit using drugs and still drank a fair amoung and his career

> was

> > > going great. Now, he's abstinent although I think he's on manic

> > > medication. So, he kinda took the wind outta my sails. :-)

> > >

> > > It's cool. I just gotta hang out here and read the posts of the

> folks

> > > here to get that dream outta my head. AA is buried in my

> subconscious.

> > >

> > > kiki

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Do I know how to contact who? I am confused.

Ben Bradley wrote:

> At 01:17 PM 12/20/01 -0800, Janice La wrote:

> >

> > dmarcoot & Drew -

> >

> >A woman in one of my groups drank a glass of wine the day of the terror

> attacks. Wanting to be honest about this " slip " , she made the mistake of

> telling her sponsor ( " sponsor 1 " ). Sponsor 1 told her sponsee that she

> should count days again, which the sponsee flatly refused to do (had a

> little over a year). Sponsor 1 didn't know what to do about this blatant

> arrogance from her sponsee, so she called her sponsor ( " sponsor 2 " ) to ask

> how sponsor 2 felt she should handle the situation. Sponsor 2 made a

> couple of calls herself so she could feel comfortable suggesting to sponsor

> 1 what she should do in this situation. It was decided that sponsor 1

> should fire the sponsee, which she did. (It seems the more time a person

> has in the " rooms " , the less able to make decisions). Don't know if the

> sponsee got another sponsor, but as of the last time I saw her, she wasn't

> counting days, and was being shunned by the " regulars " . Not overtly, of

> course. Hate to say it, but I was one of the shunners, and can't say I

> feel real good about it.

>

> Do you know how to contact her? You could apologize for the way you

> treated her, and discuss how your feelings about AA have changed. This

> is of course NOT the sort of " amends " that anyone in AA would approve

> of, but I think it's more in the spirit of how people should treat

> each other.

> Of course, what you have to say may sound so radical to her that she

> shuns you and goes back to the group and 'counting days'.

>

> I'd never heard of 'counting days' in this context before - what you

> apparently mean by not 'counting days' is not keeping track of one's

> " sobriety date " , the day after the last drink, so 'counting days' is

> what a good aa MUST do. What area of the countr were these meetings?

> This 'counting days' apparently may mean different things in

> different areas. I went to meetings around Atlanta, and I recall one

> where a newcomer introduced himself as having something like " 76 days

> of sobriety. " The next person to 'share', someone with a few years

> (apparently saying this just to put the newcomer in his place), said

> " All the people I ever knew who kept count of their days sober

> eventually went out again. All I have is today [bla bla bla...]. "

>

> ----------

> http://listen.to/benbradley

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kiki, I often have a somewhat similar dream about my job. I dream that my

boss offers me the job I have now, and that this time, I said no!!! *LOL* I

try to fall asleep just so I can relive the dream again. Thanks for telling

me ab out Danny Bonaduce. I didn't realize that he ripped on the 12 steps. I

am gaininmg a whole new respect for him!

Sincerely,Drew.

kikibaby67 wrote:

> I had a AA dream last nite. I was walking down the street and my old

> sponsor and another young woman from AA came upon me. We chatted and

> they asked where I'd been and so on. I don't remember but they

> suggested I go with them to the women's stag that nite. I declined and

> they persisted. Somehow I felt I couldn't resist them and they walked

> me to the meeting. I kept thinking I'd ditch them on the way, but it

> didn't happen. Every protest I used they countered. It's not that they

> made sense but that I had been trained to " follow sponsor direction "

> and it was hard for me to say no to her face. We got the spot where

> the stag was.

>

> I got separated from them somehow and was gonna make my way out of the

> building when the young women found me and brought me down to the

> stag. At the stag I used to go to you had to go around the room and

> say how much sobriety time you have. I remember thinking I'd just lie

> and say that I hadn't gone out. I was stressing about this part as I

> had done times before when I went out or had to change my date for

> some stupid reason. I don't know what happened but I found my self at

> a sober volleyball game. I used to be in the Pacific Group and we'd go

> to Clancy's house and play volleyball on saturdays. I liked the

> volleyball, but I didn't like the feeling that I was at some christian

> retreat. The women cooked the hotdogs, coleslaw and cleaned the

> kitchen while the men had to clean the yard or whatever.

> I had this feeling during my dream that I was being sucked in. I was

> enjoying the game and was considering coming back....ARGGGHHHHH.

>

> This morning I was listening to Danny Bonaduce on the radio. I guess

> he got sober or quit drinking or whatever. I always liked him cause

> he'd talk so much shit about all the recovery programs he'd been in.

> He quit using drugs and still drank a fair amoung and his career was

> going great. Now, he's abstinent although I think he's on manic

> medication. So, he kinda took the wind outta my sails. :-)

>

> It's cool. I just gotta hang out here and read the posts of the folks

> here to get that dream outta my head. AA is buried in my subconscious.

>

> kiki

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Drew,

I'm thinking Danny Bonaduce is not drinking without the help of " the

program " . I can't imagine he's into the whole aa thing after his

experiences in those rehabs.

In a strange coincidence(not a " GOD SHOT! " ) my old sponsor emailed me

today. She told me that if I hadn't abused my meds or had any alcohol

then last nite would have been my one year birthday. Nope, I ruined my

sobriety with a shot of whiskey. The tequila didn't help either.

At any rate I got invited to celebrate another aa friends sobriety at

her one yar party. I don't that would be any fun for an alcoholic in

denial like myself.

kiki

>

> > I had a AA dream last nite. I was walking down the street and my

old

> > sponsor and another young woman from AA came upon me. We chatted

and

> > they asked where I'd been and so on. I don't remember but they

> > suggested I go with them to the women's stag that nite. I declined

and

> > they persisted. Somehow I felt I couldn't resist them and they

walked

> > me to the meeting. I kept thinking I'd ditch them on the way, but

it

> > didn't happen. Every protest I used they countered. It's not that

they

> > made sense but that I had been trained to " follow sponsor

direction "

> > and it was hard for me to say no to her face. We got the spot

where

> > the stag was.

> >

> > I got separated from them somehow and was gonna make my way out of

the

> > building when the young women found me and brought me down to the

> > stag. At the stag I used to go to you had to go around the room

and

> > say how much sobriety time you have. I remember thinking I'd just

lie

> > and say that I hadn't gone out. I was stressing about this part as

I

> > had done times before when I went out or had to change my date for

> > some stupid reason. I don't know what happened but I found my self

at

> > a sober volleyball game. I used to be in the Pacific Group and

we'd go

> > to Clancy's house and play volleyball on saturdays. I liked the

> > volleyball, but I didn't like the feeling that I was at some

christian

> > retreat. The women cooked the hotdogs, coleslaw and cleaned the

> > kitchen while the men had to clean the yard or whatever.

> > I had this feeling during my dream that I was being sucked in. I

was

> > enjoying the game and was considering coming back....ARGGGHHHHH.

> >

> > This morning I was listening to Danny Bonaduce on the radio. I

guess

> > he got sober or quit drinking or whatever. I always liked him

cause

> > he'd talk so much shit about all the recovery programs he'd been

in.

> > He quit using drugs and still drank a fair amoung and his career

was

> > going great. Now, he's abstinent although I think he's on manic

> > medication. So, he kinda took the wind outta my sails. :-)

> >

> > It's cool. I just gotta hang out here and read the posts of the

folks

> > here to get that dream outta my head. AA is buried in my

subconscious.

> >

> > kiki

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

that " one year Birthday day " crap is a way of expressing control

and authority of experience on those " younger " than you. you

should tell her, fuck you im not a 1 year old, im X years old and

im a sober human being. the fact that you a single shot of whisky

doesn't reduce you in any way as a person.

as for the person who has " 1 year Birthday party " , what fun is it to

go celebrate AA? because these parties arent about the person,

the person never takes credit or responsibility for their

accomplishment.

No the person they celebrate is their sponsor and they give all

credit to Program. Its a joke.

-- In 12-step-free@y..., " kikibaby67 " wrote:

> Drew,

>

> I'm thinking Danny Bonaduce is not drinking without the help of

" the

> program " . I can't imagine he's into the whole aa thing after his

> experiences in those rehabs.

>

> In a strange coincidence(not a " GOD SHOT! " ) my old sponsor

emailed me

> today. She told me that if I hadn't abused my meds or had any

alcohol

> then last nite would have been my one year birthday. Nope, I

ruined my

> sobriety with a shot of whiskey. The tequila didn't help either.

> At any rate I got invited to celebrate another aa friends sobriety

at

> her one yar party. I don't that would be any fun for an alcoholic

in

> denial like myself.

>

> kiki

>

>

>

> >

> > > I had a AA dream last nite. I was walking down the street

and my

> old

> > > sponsor and another young woman from AA came upon

me. We chatted

> and

> > > they asked where I'd been and so on. I don't remember but

they

> > > suggested I go with them to the women's stag that nite. I

declined

> and

> > > they persisted. Somehow I felt I couldn't resist them and

they

> walked

> > > me to the meeting. I kept thinking I'd ditch them on the way,

but

> it

> > > didn't happen. Every protest I used they countered. It's not

that

> they

> > > made sense but that I had been trained to " follow sponsor

> direction "

> > > and it was hard for me to say no to her face. We got the

spot

> where

> > > the stag was.

> > >

> > > I got separated from them somehow and was gonna make

my way out of

> the

> > > building when the young women found me and brought me

down to the

> > > stag. At the stag I used to go to you had to go around the

room

> and

> > > say how much sobriety time you have. I remember thinking

I'd just

> lie

> > > and say that I hadn't gone out. I was stressing about this

part as

> I

> > > had done times before when I went out or had to change

my date for

> > > some stupid reason. I don't know what happened but I

found my self

> at

> > > a sober volleyball game. I used to be in the Pacific Group

and

> we'd go

> > > to Clancy's house and play volleyball on saturdays. I liked

the

> > > volleyball, but I didn't like the feeling that I was at some

> christian

> > > retreat. The women cooked the hotdogs, coleslaw and

cleaned the

> > > kitchen while the men had to clean the yard or whatever.

> > > I had this feeling during my dream that I was being sucked

in. I

> was

> > > enjoying the game and was considering coming

back....ARGGGHHHHH.

> > >

> > > This morning I was listening to Danny Bonaduce on the

radio. I

> guess

> > > he got sober or quit drinking or whatever. I always liked him

> cause

> > > he'd talk so much shit about all the recovery programs he'd

been

> in.

> > > He quit using drugs and still drank a fair amoung and his

career

> was

> > > going great. Now, he's abstinent although I think he's on

manic

> > > medication. So, he kinda took the wind outta my sails. :-)

> > >

> > > It's cool. I just gotta hang out here and read the posts of the

> folks

> > > here to get that dream outta my head. AA is buried in my

> subconscious.

> > >

> > > kiki

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

dmarcoot & Drew -

A woman in one of my groups drank a glass of wine the day of the terror attacks. Wanting to be honest about this "slip", she made the mistake of telling her sponsor ("sponsor 1"). Sponsor 1 told her sponsee that she should count days again, which the sponsee flatly refused to do (had a little over a year). Sponsor 1 didn't know what to do about this blatant arrogance from her sponsee, so she called her sponsor ("sponsor 2") to ask how sponsor 2 felt she should handle the situation. Sponsor 2 made a couple of calls herself so she could feel comfortable suggesting to sponsor 1 what she should do in this situation. It was decided that sponsor 1 should fire the sponsee, which she did. (It seems the more time a person has in the "rooms", the less able to make decisions). Don't know if the sponsee got another sponsor, but as of the last time I saw her, she wasn't counting days, and was being shunned by the "regulars". Not overtly, of course. Hate to say it, but I was one of the shunners, and can't say I feel real good about it.

Janice

dmarcoot wrote: that "one year Birthday day" crap is a way of expressing control and authority of experience on those "younger" than you. you should tell her, fuck you im not a 1 year old, im X years old and im a sober human being. the fact that you a single shot of whisky doesn't reduce you in any way as a person. as for the person who has "1 year Birthday party", what fun is it to go celebrate AA? because these parties arent about the person, the person never takes credit or responsibility for their accomplishment.No the person they celebrate is their sponsor and they give all credit to Program. Its a joke. -- In 12-step-free@y..., "kikibaby67" <kikibaby67@y...> wrote:> Drew,> > I'm thinking Danny Bonaduce is not drinking without the help of "the > program". I can't imagine he's into the whole aa thing after his > experiences in those rehabs.> > In a strange coincidence(not a "GOD SHOT!") my old sponsor emailed me > today. She told me that if I hadn't abused my meds or had any alcohol > then last nite would have been my one year birthday. Nope, I ruined my > sobriety with a shot of whiskey. The tequila didn't help either. > At any rate I got invited to celebrate another aa friends sobriety at > her one yar party. I don't that would be any fun for an alcoholic in > denial like myself.> > kiki> > > > > > > > I had a AA dream last nite. I was walking down the street and my > old> > > sponsor and another young woman from AA came upon me. We chatted > and> > > they asked where I'd been and so on. I don't remember but they> > > suggested I go with them to the women's stag that nite. I declined > and> > > they persisted. Somehow I felt I couldn't resist them and they > walked> > > me to the meeting. I kept thinking I'd ditch them on the way, but > it> > > didn't happen. Every protest I used they countered. It's not that > they> > > made sense but that I had been trained to "follow sponsor > direction"> > > and it was hard for me to say no to her face. We got the spot > where> > > the stag was.> > >> > > I got separated from them somehow and was gonna make my way out of > the> > > building when the young women found me and brought me down to the> > > stag. At the stag I used to go to you had to go around the room > and> > > say how much sobriety time you have. I remember thinking I'd just > lie> > > and say that I hadn't gone out. I was stressing about this part as > I> > > had done times before when I went out or had to change my date for> > > some stupid reason. I don't know what happened but I found my self > at> > > a sober volleyball game. I used to be in the Pacific Group and > we'd go> > > to Clancy's house and play volleyball on saturdays. I liked the> > > volleyball, but I didn't like the feeling that I was at some > christian> > > retreat. The women cooked the hotdogs, coleslaw and cleaned the> > > kitchen while the men had to clean the yard or whatever.> > > I had this feeling during my dream that I was being sucked in. I > was> > > enjoying the game and was considering coming back....ARGGGHHHHH.> > >> > > This morning I was listening to Danny Bonaduce on the radio. I > guess> > > he got sober or quit drinking or whatever. I always liked him > cause> > > he'd talk so much shit about all the recovery programs he'd been > in.> > > He quit using drugs and still drank a fair amoung and his career > was> > > going great. Now, he's abstinent although I think he's on manic> > > medication. So, he kinda took the wind outta my sails. :-)> > >> > > It's cool. I just gotta hang out here and read the posts of the > folks> > > here to get that dream outta my head. AA is buried in my > subconscious.> > >> > > kiki> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >

[Guest guest]

At 01:17 PM 12/20/01 -0800, Janice La wrote:

>

> dmarcoot & Drew -

>

>A woman in one of my groups drank a glass of wine the day of the terror

attacks. Wanting to be honest about this " slip " , she made the mistake of

telling her sponsor ( " sponsor 1 " ). Sponsor 1 told her sponsee that she

should count days again, which the sponsee flatly refused to do (had a

little over a year). Sponsor 1 didn't know what to do about this blatant

arrogance from her sponsee, so she called her sponsor ( " sponsor 2 " ) to ask

how sponsor 2 felt she should handle the situation. Sponsor 2 made a

couple of calls herself so she could feel comfortable suggesting to sponsor

1 what she should do in this situation. It was decided that sponsor 1

should fire the sponsee, which she did. (It seems the more time a person

has in the " rooms " , the less able to make decisions). Don't know if the

sponsee got another sponsor, but as of the last time I saw her, she wasn't

counting days, and was being shunned by the " regulars " . Not overtly, of

course. Hate to say it, but I was one of the shunners, and can't say I

feel real good about it.

Do you know how to contact her? You could apologize for the way you

treated her, and discuss how your feelings about AA have changed. This

is of course NOT the sort of " amends " that anyone in AA would approve

of, but I think it's more in the spirit of how people should treat

each other.

Of course, what you have to say may sound so radical to her that she

shuns you and goes back to the group and 'counting days'.

I'd never heard of 'counting days' in this context before - what you

apparently mean by not 'counting days' is not keeping track of one's

" sobriety date " , the day after the last drink, so 'counting days' is

what a good aa MUST do. What area of the countr were these meetings?

This 'counting days' apparently may mean different things in

different areas. I went to meetings around Atlanta, and I recall one

where a newcomer introduced himself as having something like " 76 days

of sobriety. " The next person to 'share', someone with a few years

(apparently saying this just to put the newcomer in his place), said

" All the people I ever knew who kept count of their days sober

eventually went out again. All I have is today [bla bla bla...]. "

----------

http://listen.to/benbradley

[Guest guest]

Ben -

New York City. A beginner here counts to 90, which, contrary to what most believe around here, is a Hazelden concept (went to Hazelden NY early 1998). There is a celebration when the person reaches 90 days - Flowers, cards, special recognition (others talk about how proud they are of the beginner making the effort, which usually includes comments about how messed up they were when they first came into the rooms). I think I will take your suggestion and call that sponsee. It certainly can't hurt, and considering that she refuses to follow the unspoken "rules", I may be able to get through. By the way, I don't think she had any idea that she was being shunned - We weren't supposed to know that she had that glass of wine - Talk about dishonesty among the members!!! What I am going to suggest is that rather than listen to me, which I think would be futile depending on how otherwise immersed she is in the program, that she goes to the aakills site (esp. "The Real AA: Behind the Myth..." ) That particular intro the the book opened up the proverbial can of worms with respect to AA. In addition, I had said in a very early message on this site that I should shut up until I do some research on "acoholism" and addiction in general. I should have taken my own advice, because the more I read, the more I realize what people on this site are talking about with respect to drinking now or possibly drinking again. I still don't have the desire, but the fear factor has been reduced substantially by reading the whole "Real AA" book. I can now see how I could get caught up in excessive drinking with respect to my childhoold/young adult life. I am up to the "meetings" section. Think I will make that call - Thanks!!

Janice

Ben Bradley wrote: At 01:17 PM 12/20/01 -0800, Janice La wrote:>> dmarcoot & Drew - >>A woman in one of my groups drank a glass of wine the day of the terrorattacks. Wanting to be honest about this "slip", she made the mistake oftelling her sponsor ("sponsor 1"). Sponsor 1 told her sponsee that sheshould count days again, which the sponsee flatly refused to do (had alittle over a year). Sponsor 1 didn't know what to do about this blatantarrogance from her sponsee, so she called her sponsor ("sponsor 2") to askhow sponsor 2 felt she should handle the situation. Sponsor 2 made acouple of calls herself so she could feel comfortable suggesting to sponsor1 what she should do in this situation. It was decided that sponsor 1should fire the sponsee, which she did. (It seems the more time a personhas in the "rooms", the less able to make decisions). Don't know if thesponsee got another sponsor, but as of the last time I saw her, she wasn'tcounting days, and was being shunned by the "regulars". Not overtly, ofcourse. Hate to say it, but I was one of the shunners, and can't say Ifeel real good about it. Do you know how to contact her? You could apologize for the way youtreated her, and discuss how your feelings about AA have changed. Thisis of course NOT the sort of "amends" that anyone in AA would approveof, but I think it's more in the spirit of how people should treateach other. Of course, what you have to say may sound so radical to her that sheshuns you and goes back to the group and 'counting days'. I'd never heard of 'counting days' in this context before - what youapparently mean by not 'counting days' is not keeping track of one's"sobriety date", the day after the last drink, so 'counting days' iswhat a good aa MUST do. What area of the countr were these meetings? This 'counting days' apparently may mean different things indifferent areas. I went to meetings around Atlanta, and I recall onewhere a newcomer introduced himself as having something like "76 daysof sobriety." The next person to 'share', someone with a few years(apparently saying this just to put the newcomer in his place), said"All the people I ever knew who kept count of their days sobereventually went out again. All I have is today [bla bla bla...]."----------http://listen.to/benbradley