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is this normal drinking?

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Okay this is strange but I feel like I have to work this out so I

refute charges (from myself and others) that I am " out of

control " or " addicted " to alcohol. I've had drinks on 4 days of the

last 9 days. I've had a total of about 15 drinks. For an average of

3.75 drinks on 4 different days. That's an average of 1.67 drinks out

of 9 days.

I am considering going out tonite and I am wondering if this is too

much. I feel like, fuck, in the last freaking 4 years I've probably

had a total of 6 freaking drinks. Is it so bad if I am excited about

going out and playing some pool and having a few drinks...

I don't want to overdo it or engage in " old " behaviors of drinking at

home or drinking while watching tv. Nothing wrong with that at all--I

just wanna experience nite life and not drink cause I'm bored. I don't

want to give my aa programming anything to feed off of...

kiki

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Kiki,

I know that AA/NA made me absolutely convinced that I had to act like an

" alky " the 1st time I relapsed, and I did. Convincingly. Almost 9 yr. after

that 1 1/2 yr. binge, I decided to drink again. This was 3 (?), 4(?) wks

ago. I am still in the stage where I think this is really cool.

I WANT to have a glass of wine 2x a day just because I can (that, and I want

to thumb my nose at the " program " ). I don't, though. This is because I

won't get in a car if I have had a single drink within the last 5-6 hrs

(known too many that died). I would rather be able to drive, than have that

glass of wine.

By the time I know I am going to stay home for the evening, I have usually

forgotten all about it, or am doing something else.

Look, going out and having fun is great. Just be careful not to feed into

the brainwashing. They have told you that you are going to screw up your

life. Don't. You really don't have to.

One trick, that I can think of, is to look at how many drinks you have had

since you started drinking again. If I averaged out over the last 9 yr., I

could drown myself within a week. That I don't need, ya know.

is this normal drinking?

> Okay this is strange but I feel like I have to work this out so I

> refute charges (from myself and others) that I am " out of

> control " or " addicted " to alcohol. I've had drinks on 4 days of the

> last 9 days. I've had a total of about 15 drinks. For an average of

> 3.75 drinks on 4 different days. That's an average of 1.67 drinks out

> of 9 days.

> I am considering going out tonite and I am wondering if this is too

> much. I feel like, fuck, in the last freaking 4 years I've probably

> had a total of 6 freaking drinks. Is it so bad if I am excited about

> going out and playing some pool and having a few drinks...

> I don't want to overdo it or engage in " old " behaviors of drinking at

> home or drinking while watching tv. Nothing wrong with that at all--I

> just wanna experience nite life and not drink cause I'm bored. I don't

> want to give my aa programming anything to feed off of...

>

> kiki

>

>

>

>

>

>

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I notice that you were counting your drinks. I do that now to. I never did

that before I got involved with AA, but now that I do, sometimes if I drink

to much I will feel bad about myself. One of the reasons that I crossed

paths with them again. It wasn't until recently that I realized, " Hey, you

know what, I wnet over my limit, but I never even had a limit before. I

probably drink a third of what I used to, and I haven't taken any

tranquiizers in over a year! " . Then I won't the next day or two or three,

what ever I feel like. But it is confusing. You kind of feel like you're

waiting for the alcohol to take over, but it never will. So, if you are

having fun, enjoying it responsibly, maintaining your life, why worry? YOu

know what you want to do and what you don't want to do. So I think you

should do what you wnat and not do whatyou don't and f. everyone else.

>

>Reply-To: 12-step-free

>To: 12-step-free

>Subject: is this normal drinking?

>Date: Fri, 14 Dec 2001 01:39:30 -0000

>

>Okay this is strange but I feel like I have to work this out so I

>refute charges (from myself and others) that I am " out of

>control " or " addicted " to alcohol. I've had drinks on 4 days of the

>last 9 days. I've had a total of about 15 drinks. For an average of

>3.75 drinks on 4 different days. That's an average of 1.67 drinks out

>of 9 days.

>I am considering going out tonite and I am wondering if this is too

>much. I feel like, fuck, in the last freaking 4 years I've probably

>had a total of 6 freaking drinks. Is it so bad if I am excited about

>going out and playing some pool and having a few drinks...

>I don't want to overdo it or engage in " old " behaviors of drinking at

>home or drinking while watching tv. Nothing wrong with that at all--I

>just wanna experience nite life and not drink cause I'm bored. I don't

>want to give my aa programming anything to feed off of...

>

>kiki

>

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Kikibaby -

On leaving AA, what you have presented would be my worst living nightmare - Getting the obsession to drink back again - Telling myself when it would be okay to drink and when it wouldn't and then compromising with myself to the extent that it's all I think about. When I said I "got" the AA program, I thought that meant that I was finally resigned to the fact that I couldn't drink safely, and because of that, and not some higher power, the obsession about drinking "lifted". One thing I can thank AA for is the constant chant about keeping an open mind. I did, and it worked the opposite to what they thought would happen. Janice

kikibaby67 wrote: Okay this is strange but I feel like I have to work this out so I refute charges (from myself and others) that I am "out of control" or "addicted" to alcohol. I've had drinks on 4 days of the last 9 days. I've had a total of about 15 drinks. For an average of 3.75 drinks on 4 different days. That's an average of 1.67 drinks out of 9 days. I am considering going out tonite and I am wondering if this is too much. I feel like, fuck, in the last freaking 4 years I've probably had a total of 6 freaking drinks. Is it so bad if I am excited about going out and playing some pool and having a few drinks...I don't want to overdo it or engage in "old" behaviors of drinking at home or drinking while watching tv. Nothing wrong with that at all--I just wanna experience nite life and not drink cause I'm bored. I don't want to give my aa programming anything to feed off of...kiki

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Hi Kiki --

It's good you're asking these questions. The two keys to successfully

altering drinking behavior to healthy, moderate patterns after a history of

overdrinking, are INFORMATION and SELF-AWARENESS.

Calculating the " average " of your drinks over a large time period is

irrelevant and a waste of effort. For instance, while one drink a day would be

considered moderate, abstaining for two weeks and then drinking 14 drinks in a

day (producing an " average " of one drink per day over the 2 weeks) would not be

healthy or safe at all.

The AMA and other dietary and health groups recommend no more than two

drinks per drinking occasion for women, and (if I recall correctly) no more than

4 times per week. Occasionally having 3 drinks or maybe even 4 (such as at a

special-occasion party) will do no lasting harm, but routinely drinking 4 drinks

at a sitting is considered a health risk for women. 5 drinks or more at a

sitting is considered binge drinking which is unhealthy for both men and women.

Of course, adults have the right to do unhealthy things to their own bodies, if

they wish, but it's best to make informed decisions.

4 drinks at a sitting, by the way, will put EVERYONE over the limit for

legal intoxication, so one should plan for transportation needs and not drive

(or take other vehicle! -- there have been many " operating a marine vessel while

intoxicated " accidents, some of them fatal, in my area) to the drinking location

if this amount is going to be consumed.

The other thing is to be aware of your own reactions, both physical and

mental/emotional, to your drinking both during the drinking occasion and the

next day. Any nausea, diarrhea, foggy-headedness, or serious depression

following drinking is a sure sign that the drinking style was unhealthy, and the

pattern should be altered. One of the best books I have ever seen to promote

self-awareness and healthier lifestyle is " How to Stop Drinking Without AA " by

Jerry Dorsman. Despite the title, the book is very helpful for developing a

healthy moderate drinking style as well as an abstinent lifestyle. It has many

questionnaires that get you to examine your reactions to junk foods, sweets,

etc. as well as to alcohol, and to respect your body enough to develop healthier

eating and drinking behaviors. And of course it's totally non-stepper and

non-judgmental. I highly recommend the book.

Steppers like to preach that anyone who has to make a conscious effort to

limit drinking " must " have a problem, and " can't " be a normal drinker, therefore

" must " be an " alcoholic " with all the baggage that word carries, and should

never drink at all. This is bullshit. Some people may have a natural aversion

to drinking more than a drink or two, while others make a conscious effort to

stay within such limits -- so what? -- both are drinking safely and enjoying

themselves. If keeping to a conscious moderation plan actually causes terrible

emotional distress, then I'd say (as would the Moderation Management folks) that

abstinence would be the better choice. But I think most people can make the

effort without " white-knuckling " it. You can try alternating an alcoholic drink

with a plain soft drink in the same glass. This way, 4 " drinks " will only

contain half the alcohol.

~Rita

> Okay this is strange but I feel like I have to work this out so I

> refute charges (from myself and others) that I am " out of

> control " or " addicted " to alcohol. I've had drinks on 4 days of the

> last 9 days. I've had a total of about 15 drinks. For an average of

> 3.75 drinks on 4 different days. That's an average of 1.67 drinks out

> of 9 days.

> I am considering going out tonite and I am wondering if this is too

> much. I feel like, fuck, in the last freaking 4 years I've probably

> had a total of 6 freaking drinks. Is it so bad if I am excited about

> going out and playing some pool and having a few drinks...

> I don't want to overdo it or engage in " old " behaviors of drinking at

> home or drinking while watching tv. Nothing wrong with that at all--I

> just wanna experience nite life and not drink cause I'm bored. I don't

> want to give my aa programming anything to feed off of...

>

> kiki

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