OT: Help wanted <g>

[Guest guest]

POSITION:

Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy

JOB DESCRIPTION:

-Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often

chaotic environment.

-Candidates must possess excellent

communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours,

which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

-Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on

rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities.

-Travel expenses not reimbursed.

-Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.

-Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,

until someone needs $5.

-Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

-Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from

zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the creams from the

backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

-Must be willing to face stimulating technical

challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and

stuck zippers.

-Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of

multiple homework projects.

-Must have ability to plan and organize social

gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

-Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

-Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,

plastic toys, and

battery operated devices.

-Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

-Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

-Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout

the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

-Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without

complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in

your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

-None required unfortunately.

-On-the-job training offered on a continually

exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

-Get this! You pay them! offering frequent raises and bonuses.

-A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that

college will help them become financially independent.

-When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it

and this wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

-While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no

paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies

limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play

your cards right.

~

Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for everything they do

on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated

~

There are two ways to live your life.

To live as though miracles do happen.

~or~

To live as though they don't.