Guest guest Posted January 5, 2002 Report Share Posted January 5, 2002 I've had an " A-Ha! " moment this week, and wanted to share with folks who might relate. I've been feeling unsettled at work lately. It seems I am realizing that I am not nearly as aggressive in my work as I could be. Now, for all my obese years, work was the one area of my life that seemed in control. My career flourished, in spite of my work and in spite of the high visibility of what I do. Everyone always said I was so good, and so successful. After having lost 100 pounds, I went into business with a good friend of mine, and we are doing pretty well. But lately, I have realized that I am not nearly as aggressive as I could be, not as aggressive as she is, and look back with sadness realizing that while I did well through all the obese years, I lost many, many opportunities to network, meet people who could be helping me now, etc. I've been thinking alot about it. I guess when I was obese, I was afraid to be really aggressive. Instead, I was always " nice. " . I didn't go out of my way to go to the social gatherings that would have helped my career, and didn't go the extra mile. Now, I see how important that is, and realize that I have to make a major effort to get out there, call people, solicit new business, etc. And it makes me very nervous. I feel as if I am a new person, and don't quite know how to act. I know I have to let go of the regrets, and try to motivate myself to get going now, but it is hard, and a bit scary. My partner is out to lunch pitching business every day, but I still have a hard time making those calls, going to those cocktail parties, etc. It's like my personality has not caught up to my new size 10 body. Helene RNY 12/22/99 350/160 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2002 Report Share Posted January 9, 2002 Helene, I can totally relate, although for different reasons. I've been a public speaker/management trainer for the last 20 years and despite my obesity, was always really good at what i did. now i have this fear, that at size 12 (I'm 5'2 " ), that I'm just a " little " person and I've lost my " edge " ! I feel like I'm not as dynamic anymore, I'm not as aggressive or as " desperate " to do a good job. I'm not driven by the same compulsion. First of all, I think I used to be an overachiever to compensate for my flaws (actually, my one big flaw = my body) and I would do anything to be successful so you wouldn't focus on my body. Now that I look pretty good (but just ordinary to the public, really " hot " to me and the people who knew where I came from), I feel like I don't carry as much power or as much passion for success like I did. ly, I thought I'd be SO MUCH better now that I have the image to go along with the ideas and presentation skills but I feel something is lacking. My audiences and clients don't seem to think so but I'd rather be at the gym some days than behind a microphone and that may just ruin this line of work for me. Unless...I decide to do motivational training about how to transform your life but I'm not ready to go so public with my surgery and I'm not sure what my message would be. True, I've changed my lifestyle and made my health a new religion but I couldn't have done it without the surgery and I certainly am not out to sell that or to claim that making all those other changes could have you lose 140 lbs. if you don't have the surgery. Anyway, as a woman in her own business for the last 15 years, this year is definitely different and I hope I can get some of that " edge " back, even if it manifests itself in a very different way. Thanks for writing. Not too many people write about how WLS affects their career. Marcia -141 lbs. VBG 4/26/00 Dr. Homan, White Plains, NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2002 Report Share Posted January 9, 2002 Helene, I can totally relate, although for different reasons. I've been a public speaker/management trainer for the last 20 years and despite my obesity, was always really good at what i did. now i have this fear, that at size 12 (I'm 5'2 " ), that I'm just a " little " person and I've lost my " edge " ! I feel like I'm not as dynamic anymore, I'm not as aggressive or as " desperate " to do a good job. I'm not driven by the same compulsion. First of all, I think I used to be an overachiever to compensate for my flaws (actually, my one big flaw = my body) and I would do anything to be successful so you wouldn't focus on my body. Now that I look pretty good (but just ordinary to the public, really " hot " to me and the people who knew where I came from), I feel like I don't carry as much power or as much passion for success like I did. ly, I thought I'd be SO MUCH better now that I have the image to go along with the ideas and presentation skills but I feel something is lacking. My audiences and clients don't seem to think so but I'd rather be at the gym some days than behind a microphone and that may just ruin this line of work for me. Unless...I decide to do motivational training about how to transform your life but I'm not ready to go so public with my surgery and I'm not sure what my message would be. True, I've changed my lifestyle and made my health a new religion but I couldn't have done it without the surgery and I certainly am not out to sell that or to claim that making all those other changes could have you lose 140 lbs. if you don't have the surgery. Anyway, as a woman in her own business for the last 15 years, this year is definitely different and I hope I can get some of that " edge " back, even if it manifests itself in a very different way. Thanks for writing. Not too many people write about how WLS affects their career. Marcia -141 lbs. VBG 4/26/00 Dr. Homan, White Plains, NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Marcia, You've given me a lot to think about....We are both in public work - I am a publicist in the entertainment field. I'm always surrounded by beautiful people. How I was accepted at 350 lbs, I'll never know. But now, while I have lots of fun " dressing up, " I don't feel aggressive enough. I'm not enjoying my work as much, and I used to love it. I fantasize about becoming a nutritionist, (until I found out I'd have to take science classes!) or a trainer, and spend the rest of my life focusing on health. I don't know if this is just a phase that will pass, but it's scary because I've been working for 25 years, and feel as if I've lost my focus. And there's a deep down, gut fear that I am just not good enough at my work now. Certainly it does not get the attention from me that it once did - I'd rather read my OSSG e-mails, or go for a walk, to to the gym, then to a concert, theater for party. ...I'm two years post-op. And lately, I've been having huge problems with food and bingeing again. I've gained 7 pounds this month, and I think it comes from loosing my focus. Helene RNY 12/22/99 350/163+? Mcmnow@... wrote: > Helene, > I can totally relate, although for different reasons. I've been a > public speaker/management trainer for the last 20 years and despite my > obesity, was always really good at what i did. now i have this fear, > that at size 12 (I'm 5'2 " ), that I'm just a " little " person and I've > lost my " edge " ! I feel like I'm not as dynamic anymore, I'm not as > aggressive or as " desperate " to do a good job. I'm not driven by the > same compulsion. > First of all, I think I used to be an overachiever to compensate for > my flaws (actually, my one big flaw = my body) and I would do anything > to be successful so you wouldn't focus on my body. Now that I look > pretty good (but just ordinary to the public, really " hot " to me and > the people who knew where I came from), I feel like I don't carry as > much power or as much passion for success like I did. ly, I > thought I'd be SO MUCH better now that I have the image to go along > with the ideas and presentation skills but I feel something is > lacking. My audiences and clients don't seem to think so but I'd > rather be at the gym some days than behind a microphone and that may > just ruin this line of work for me. Unless...I decide to do > motivational training about how to transform your life but I'm not > ready to go so public with my surgery and I'm not sure what my message > would be. True, I've changed my lifestyle and made my health a new > religion but I couldn't have done it without the surgery and I > certainly am not out to sell that or to claim that making all those > other changes could have you lose 140 lbs. if you don't have the > surgery. > Anyway, as a woman in her own business for the last 15 years, this > year is definitely different and I hope I can get some of that " edge " > back, even if it manifests itself in a very different way. > Thanks for writing. Not too many people write about how WLS affects > their career. > Marcia > -141 lbs. > VBG 4/26/00 > Dr. Homan, White Plains, NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Boy, can I relate to this thread!!! I quit my job 2 months prior to surgery, I was in a very abusive situation with a boss I had worked with for 11 years. Long story short, we had gotten along pretty well for a long time because I " knew my place " and bowed down to her. Then she was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and the city manager appointed me acting director of the department in her absence (Information Services department...computers.) Well, this was my chance to shine, and I did. Got lots of kudos from co-workers and other directors, what a bang-up job I was doing in such difficult circumstances....blah, blah, blah. Well, when she came back (and was not immediately reinstated as director) she felt very threatened by me. Little did I know I was supposed to fall flat on my face while she was out so as not to make her look bad. Oops! She eventually gets reinstated, I go back to my old job, but suddenly I'm the department goat. Everything that goes wrong gets blamed on me, she became verbally abusive, laughed and made fun of my ideas in staff meetings in front of co-workers. That sort of thing. After three months, I quit making excuses for her and quit. I could tell I'd blown it by doing a GOOD job. So I was unemployed for about 9 months, during which time I had surgery, my daughter got married and I planned the wedding, and I generally stepped back and took stock of my life. I was ready to make major changes, not just to my outside, but to my insides as well. Got some guts (literally while I was losing my gut) and began to realize my worth as a person. Began to get some self-confidence, which had been beaten out of me for 11 years while I was never " good enough " at my old job. Finally I started my own business. Well, now I'm in sales....real estate to be exact....big change from computers. I feel like I'm still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. The people I work with now never knew me at 300+ lbs, and they just see this size 8 lady who is " normal " . I'm still trying to figure out what " normal " is for me. I go back and forth from feeling fat to feeling thin, I feel confident and self-assured one moment, and then feel like a fraud masquerading as a " normie " the next. I hope I figure all this out one day. But it's been a hell of a ride!! KC Kathy Carl Chrysalis E-mail: chrysalis@... Fw: Changes..... Re: Changes..... > I am right there with both of you. I was a career woman all the way, > hard-driving executive, president of a nonprofit... when I lost my > weight the organization (board and staff) just could not deal with > me. We eventually parted in a very painful series of episodes that > severely scarred me. After giving 25 years of my life to a particular > career and 15 years to that organization, I was suddenly out in the > cold and in start-over mode. It was very, very difficult. > > I spent a year in the career switching process, not sure what I > wanted to do. The jobs that kept finding me had to do with > fundraising, which I didn't think I wanted to do. But now, guess > what??? I am one. I took a position doing major gifts and planned > giving (estates, bequests, etc.) It requires me to get out there and > visit people, talk with them about their financial and philanthropic > goals, etc. It is exciting and I am grateful every day for this new > career (at 52!) and new constellation of colleagues but I am SCARED > S***LESS. Sometimes I am so out of touch with myself that I can't > picture who people will see when I walk in the door and meet them for > the first time. Maybe having had a bunch of plastic surgery recently > contributes to this. > > This is really, really, really hard. I am a good manager and planner, > and tend to be an extrovert, but I am having a hard time with this > clash of self image and task. Everything is in flux. I am having a > good time and I believe I will eventually adjust - and I am very > happy to be working again - but I am really struggling. > > Glad to be talking about this. Insights, anyone???? > > hugs, > Ann > > RNY 9/10/99 > 260 to 125 > > brachioplasty 3/00 > breast lift w/ aug 5/01 > TT and thigh lift 8/01 > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Boy, can I relate to this thread!!! I quit my job 2 months prior to surgery, I was in a very abusive situation with a boss I had worked with for 11 years. Long story short, we had gotten along pretty well for a long time because I " knew my place " and bowed down to her. Then she was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and the city manager appointed me acting director of the department in her absence (Information Services department...computers.) Well, this was my chance to shine, and I did. Got lots of kudos from co-workers and other directors, what a bang-up job I was doing in such difficult circumstances....blah, blah, blah. Well, when she came back (and was not immediately reinstated as director) she felt very threatened by me. Little did I know I was supposed to fall flat on my face while she was out so as not to make her look bad. Oops! She eventually gets reinstated, I go back to my old job, but suddenly I'm the department goat. Everything that goes wrong gets blamed on me, she became verbally abusive, laughed and made fun of my ideas in staff meetings in front of co-workers. That sort of thing. After three months, I quit making excuses for her and quit. I could tell I'd blown it by doing a GOOD job. So I was unemployed for about 9 months, during which time I had surgery, my daughter got married and I planned the wedding, and I generally stepped back and took stock of my life. I was ready to make major changes, not just to my outside, but to my insides as well. Got some guts (literally while I was losing my gut) and began to realize my worth as a person. Began to get some self-confidence, which had been beaten out of me for 11 years while I was never " good enough " at my old job. Finally I started my own business. Well, now I'm in sales....real estate to be exact....big change from computers. I feel like I'm still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. The people I work with now never knew me at 300+ lbs, and they just see this size 8 lady who is " normal " . I'm still trying to figure out what " normal " is for me. I go back and forth from feeling fat to feeling thin, I feel confident and self-assured one moment, and then feel like a fraud masquerading as a " normie " the next. I hope I figure all this out one day. But it's been a hell of a ride!! KC Kathy Carl Chrysalis E-mail: chrysalis@... Fw: Changes..... Re: Changes..... > I am right there with both of you. I was a career woman all the way, > hard-driving executive, president of a nonprofit... when I lost my > weight the organization (board and staff) just could not deal with > me. We eventually parted in a very painful series of episodes that > severely scarred me. After giving 25 years of my life to a particular > career and 15 years to that organization, I was suddenly out in the > cold and in start-over mode. It was very, very difficult. > > I spent a year in the career switching process, not sure what I > wanted to do. The jobs that kept finding me had to do with > fundraising, which I didn't think I wanted to do. But now, guess > what??? I am one. I took a position doing major gifts and planned > giving (estates, bequests, etc.) It requires me to get out there and > visit people, talk with them about their financial and philanthropic > goals, etc. It is exciting and I am grateful every day for this new > career (at 52!) and new constellation of colleagues but I am SCARED > S***LESS. Sometimes I am so out of touch with myself that I can't > picture who people will see when I walk in the door and meet them for > the first time. Maybe having had a bunch of plastic surgery recently > contributes to this. > > This is really, really, really hard. I am a good manager and planner, > and tend to be an extrovert, but I am having a hard time with this > clash of self image and task. Everything is in flux. I am having a > good time and I believe I will eventually adjust - and I am very > happy to be working again - but I am really struggling. > > Glad to be talking about this. Insights, anyone???? > > hugs, > Ann > > RNY 9/10/99 > 260 to 125 > > brachioplasty 3/00 > breast lift w/ aug 5/01 > TT and thigh lift 8/01 > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 I'm not in public work or a high profile job. Highly stressful, yes. But I can definitely relate to a loss of enthusiasm and loss of confidence regarding my job. I recognized something in the email below. I think my strong work ethic (like a little conscience voice in my head) is recognizing that other priorities have taken over. I know that I had no idea how much the rapid weight loss and dramatic changes to the " physical " me would affect the " inside my head " me. And I believe that because I have new priorities (the physical freedom, the " firsts " we all are enjoying, the new found joy in living life large) have affected my work ethic in a way I've never experienced before or even expected. Same as competing as a woman in the corporate world. We believe (Know) that we have to work harder, be better, more competent, to compete with men. Maybe comparatively it is like all of the sudden finding out you are really a man. Wouldn't that change your level of competativeness? And frankly after all of the things I've survived/accomplished in life in the past few years, my job doesn't hold the same priority place anymore. Somehow, though, I have to work through this. ly, I'd now rather be a " Greeter " person at Walmart than deal with the daily stress in my current profession. I think the " mental and emotional " me is just tired and wants to finally have some real fun. Lord, please let us all win the lottery, we really do deserve it! Judy in Austin --- hwd112 hwd.hwd@...> wrote: > Marcia, > You've given me a lot to think about....We are both > in public work - I > am a publicist in the entertainment field. I'm > always surrounded by > beautiful people. How I was accepted at 350 lbs, > I'll never know. But > now, while I have lots of fun " dressing up, " I don't > feel aggressive > enough. I'm not enjoying my work as much, and I used > to love it. I > fantasize about becoming a nutritionist, (until I > found out I'd have to > take science classes!) or a trainer, and spend the > rest of my life > focusing on health. I don't know if this is just a > phase that will > pass, but it's scary because I've been working for > 25 years, and feel as > if I've lost my focus. And there's a deep down, gut > fear that I am just > not good enough at my work now. Certainly it does > not get the attention > from me that it once did - I'd rather read my OSSG > e-mails, or go for a > walk, to to the gym, then to a concert, theater for > party. ...I'm two > years post-op. And lately, I've been having huge > problems with food and > bingeing again. I've gained 7 pounds this month, > and I think it comes > from loosing my focus. > > Helene > RNY 12/22/99 > 350/163+? > Mcmnow@... wrote: > > > Helene, > > I can totally relate, although for different > reasons. I've been a > > public speaker/management trainer for the last 20 > years and despite my > > obesity, was always really good at what i did. > now i have this fear, > > that at size 12 (I'm 5'2 " ), that I'm just a > " little " person and I've > > lost my " edge " ! I feel like I'm not as dynamic > anymore, I'm not as > > aggressive or as " desperate " to do a good job. > I'm not driven by the > > same compulsion. > > First of all, I think I used to be an overachiever > to compensate for > > my flaws (actually, my one big flaw = my body) and > I would do anything > > to be successful so you wouldn't focus on my body. > Now that I look > > pretty good (but just ordinary to the public, > really " hot " to me and > > the people who knew where I came from), I feel > like I don't carry as > > much power or as much passion for success like I > did. ly, I > > thought I'd be SO MUCH better now that I have the > image to go along > > with the ideas and presentation skills but I feel > something is > > lacking. My audiences and clients don't seem to > think so but I'd > > rather be at the gym some days than behind a > microphone and that may > > just ruin this line of work for me. Unless...I > decide to do > > motivational training about how to transform your > life but I'm not > > ready to go so public with my surgery and I'm not > sure what my message > > would be. True, I've changed my lifestyle and > made my health a new > > religion but I couldn't have done it without the > surgery and I > > certainly am not out to sell that or to claim that > making all those > > other changes could have you lose 140 lbs. if you > don't have the > > surgery. > > Anyway, as a woman in her own business for the > last 15 years, this > > year is definitely different and I hope I can get > some of that " edge " > > back, even if it manifests itself in a very > different way. > > Thanks for writing. Not too many people write > about how WLS affects > > their career. > > Marcia > > -141 lbs. > > VBG 4/26/00 > > Dr. Homan, White Plains, NY > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > Homepage: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: > mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 I'm not in public work or a high profile job. Highly stressful, yes. But I can definitely relate to a loss of enthusiasm and loss of confidence regarding my job. I recognized something in the email below. I think my strong work ethic (like a little conscience voice in my head) is recognizing that other priorities have taken over. I know that I had no idea how much the rapid weight loss and dramatic changes to the " physical " me would affect the " inside my head " me. And I believe that because I have new priorities (the physical freedom, the " firsts " we all are enjoying, the new found joy in living life large) have affected my work ethic in a way I've never experienced before or even expected. Same as competing as a woman in the corporate world. We believe (Know) that we have to work harder, be better, more competent, to compete with men. Maybe comparatively it is like all of the sudden finding out you are really a man. Wouldn't that change your level of competativeness? And frankly after all of the things I've survived/accomplished in life in the past few years, my job doesn't hold the same priority place anymore. Somehow, though, I have to work through this. ly, I'd now rather be a " Greeter " person at Walmart than deal with the daily stress in my current profession. I think the " mental and emotional " me is just tired and wants to finally have some real fun. Lord, please let us all win the lottery, we really do deserve it! Judy in Austin --- hwd112 hwd.hwd@...> wrote: > Marcia, > You've given me a lot to think about....We are both > in public work - I > am a publicist in the entertainment field. I'm > always surrounded by > beautiful people. How I was accepted at 350 lbs, > I'll never know. But > now, while I have lots of fun " dressing up, " I don't > feel aggressive > enough. I'm not enjoying my work as much, and I used > to love it. I > fantasize about becoming a nutritionist, (until I > found out I'd have to > take science classes!) or a trainer, and spend the > rest of my life > focusing on health. I don't know if this is just a > phase that will > pass, but it's scary because I've been working for > 25 years, and feel as > if I've lost my focus. And there's a deep down, gut > fear that I am just > not good enough at my work now. Certainly it does > not get the attention > from me that it once did - I'd rather read my OSSG > e-mails, or go for a > walk, to to the gym, then to a concert, theater for > party. ...I'm two > years post-op. And lately, I've been having huge > problems with food and > bingeing again. I've gained 7 pounds this month, > and I think it comes > from loosing my focus. > > Helene > RNY 12/22/99 > 350/163+? > Mcmnow@... wrote: > > > Helene, > > I can totally relate, although for different > reasons. I've been a > > public speaker/management trainer for the last 20 > years and despite my > > obesity, was always really good at what i did. > now i have this fear, > > that at size 12 (I'm 5'2 " ), that I'm just a > " little " person and I've > > lost my " edge " ! I feel like I'm not as dynamic > anymore, I'm not as > > aggressive or as " desperate " to do a good job. > I'm not driven by the > > same compulsion. > > First of all, I think I used to be an overachiever > to compensate for > > my flaws (actually, my one big flaw = my body) and > I would do anything > > to be successful so you wouldn't focus on my body. > Now that I look > > pretty good (but just ordinary to the public, > really " hot " to me and > > the people who knew where I came from), I feel > like I don't carry as > > much power or as much passion for success like I > did. ly, I > > thought I'd be SO MUCH better now that I have the > image to go along > > with the ideas and presentation skills but I feel > something is > > lacking. My audiences and clients don't seem to > think so but I'd > > rather be at the gym some days than behind a > microphone and that may > > just ruin this line of work for me. Unless...I > decide to do > > motivational training about how to transform your > life but I'm not > > ready to go so public with my surgery and I'm not > sure what my message > > would be. True, I've changed my lifestyle and > made my health a new > > religion but I couldn't have done it without the > surgery and I > > certainly am not out to sell that or to claim that > making all those > > other changes could have you lose 140 lbs. if you > don't have the > > surgery. > > Anyway, as a woman in her own business for the > last 15 years, this > > year is definitely different and I hope I can get > some of that " edge " > > back, even if it manifests itself in a very > different way. > > Thanks for writing. Not too many people write > about how WLS affects > > their career. > > Marcia > > -141 lbs. > > VBG 4/26/00 > > Dr. Homan, White Plains, NY > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > Homepage: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: > mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 I'm not in public work or a high profile job. Highly stressful, yes. But I can definitely relate to a loss of enthusiasm and loss of confidence regarding my job. I recognized something in the email below. I think my strong work ethic (like a little conscience voice in my head) is recognizing that other priorities have taken over. I know that I had no idea how much the rapid weight loss and dramatic changes to the " physical " me would affect the " inside my head " me. And I believe that because I have new priorities (the physical freedom, the " firsts " we all are enjoying, the new found joy in living life large) have affected my work ethic in a way I've never experienced before or even expected. Same as competing as a woman in the corporate world. We believe (Know) that we have to work harder, be better, more competent, to compete with men. Maybe comparatively it is like all of the sudden finding out you are really a man. Wouldn't that change your level of competativeness? And frankly after all of the things I've survived/accomplished in life in the past few years, my job doesn't hold the same priority place anymore. Somehow, though, I have to work through this. ly, I'd now rather be a " Greeter " person at Walmart than deal with the daily stress in my current profession. I think the " mental and emotional " me is just tired and wants to finally have some real fun. Lord, please let us all win the lottery, we really do deserve it! Judy in Austin --- hwd112 hwd.hwd@...> wrote: > Marcia, > You've given me a lot to think about....We are both > in public work - I > am a publicist in the entertainment field. I'm > always surrounded by > beautiful people. How I was accepted at 350 lbs, > I'll never know. But > now, while I have lots of fun " dressing up, " I don't > feel aggressive > enough. I'm not enjoying my work as much, and I used > to love it. I > fantasize about becoming a nutritionist, (until I > found out I'd have to > take science classes!) or a trainer, and spend the > rest of my life > focusing on health. I don't know if this is just a > phase that will > pass, but it's scary because I've been working for > 25 years, and feel as > if I've lost my focus. And there's a deep down, gut > fear that I am just > not good enough at my work now. Certainly it does > not get the attention > from me that it once did - I'd rather read my OSSG > e-mails, or go for a > walk, to to the gym, then to a concert, theater for > party. ...I'm two > years post-op. And lately, I've been having huge > problems with food and > bingeing again. I've gained 7 pounds this month, > and I think it comes > from loosing my focus. > > Helene > RNY 12/22/99 > 350/163+? > Mcmnow@... wrote: > > > Helene, > > I can totally relate, although for different > reasons. I've been a > > public speaker/management trainer for the last 20 > years and despite my > > obesity, was always really good at what i did. > now i have this fear, > > that at size 12 (I'm 5'2 " ), that I'm just a > " little " person and I've > > lost my " edge " ! I feel like I'm not as dynamic > anymore, I'm not as > > aggressive or as " desperate " to do a good job. > I'm not driven by the > > same compulsion. > > First of all, I think I used to be an overachiever > to compensate for > > my flaws (actually, my one big flaw = my body) and > I would do anything > > to be successful so you wouldn't focus on my body. > Now that I look > > pretty good (but just ordinary to the public, > really " hot " to me and > > the people who knew where I came from), I feel > like I don't carry as > > much power or as much passion for success like I > did. ly, I > > thought I'd be SO MUCH better now that I have the > image to go along > > with the ideas and presentation skills but I feel > something is > > lacking. My audiences and clients don't seem to > think so but I'd > > rather be at the gym some days than behind a > microphone and that may > > just ruin this line of work for me. Unless...I > decide to do > > motivational training about how to transform your > life but I'm not > > ready to go so public with my surgery and I'm not > sure what my message > > would be. True, I've changed my lifestyle and > made my health a new > > religion but I couldn't have done it without the > surgery and I > > certainly am not out to sell that or to claim that > making all those > > other changes could have you lose 140 lbs. if you > don't have the > > surgery. > > Anyway, as a woman in her own business for the > last 15 years, this > > year is definitely different and I hope I can get > some of that " edge " > > back, even if it manifests itself in a very > different way. > > Thanks for writing. Not too many people write > about how WLS affects > > their career. > > Marcia > > -141 lbs. > > VBG 4/26/00 > > Dr. Homan, White Plains, NY > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > > Homepage: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: > mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 > ly, I'd now rather be a " Greeter " person at > Walmart than deal with the daily stress in my current > profession. I think the " mental and emotional " me is > just tired and wants to finally have some real fun. > Lord, please let us all win the lottery, we really do > deserve it! oh god can I ever relate to this!!! I once had a job restocking buttons in a fabric store - there were thousands of buttons, it was tedious at times, totally and completely boring at times, but yet I loved it [most of the time] at that point in my life! I want a job like greeter or button hanger again! I want all my energy spent on kayaking, swimming, being the best me physically and screw everyone else - screw the bosses - screw the complaining clients - I'm sick of all them. I'm tired of spending every last thought and energy on the job, the board of directors I must please, the clients who need to face reality and move on, the staff who think they have it so hard, the community and allied professionals who wish we would all just 'disappear'. this has been a great thread - a few years ago I just did what I had to do, I went the extra mile when writing a grant or doing what needed done when it came to paperwork but I tried to keep everyone at peace, didn't want ANY confrontation, attended meetings all over the state but kept quiet and didn't make waves. with each pound I lost I gained a spek of volume in my voice it seemed. I am very vocal at state meetings, I've been doing training all over the state and at conferences, I was asked to be a keynote speaker at a national conference in CA. last year which was an amazing experience, I no longer take any crap from staff or clients and confrontation does not scare me. I tell my board like it is - no games. I use to avoid " networking " as I'd rather crawl in a hole than be out there in the public pleading for my agencies cause but over the last few years not a board of supervisors meeting, county meeting, mayors meeting or any official community function goes by that I'm not there pleading for the rights of victims. I'm in everyones face. so in some ways I have come full circle as a 'boss lady' and I've learned a lot and experienced a lot and know that when we move this summer and I'm looking for work - I might just got to walmart instead! or I might be the best damn consultant and trainer that SC has ever seen come there way! but I would much prefer at this point in my life to be doing what thrills me and keeps my spirit and soul enriched rather than drained! being on the water does it for me not like any board room ever will! Sue [swVA] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 > ly, I'd now rather be a " Greeter " person at > Walmart than deal with the daily stress in my current > profession. I think the " mental and emotional " me is > just tired and wants to finally have some real fun. > Lord, please let us all win the lottery, we really do > deserve it! oh god can I ever relate to this!!! I once had a job restocking buttons in a fabric store - there were thousands of buttons, it was tedious at times, totally and completely boring at times, but yet I loved it [most of the time] at that point in my life! I want a job like greeter or button hanger again! I want all my energy spent on kayaking, swimming, being the best me physically and screw everyone else - screw the bosses - screw the complaining clients - I'm sick of all them. I'm tired of spending every last thought and energy on the job, the board of directors I must please, the clients who need to face reality and move on, the staff who think they have it so hard, the community and allied professionals who wish we would all just 'disappear'. this has been a great thread - a few years ago I just did what I had to do, I went the extra mile when writing a grant or doing what needed done when it came to paperwork but I tried to keep everyone at peace, didn't want ANY confrontation, attended meetings all over the state but kept quiet and didn't make waves. with each pound I lost I gained a spek of volume in my voice it seemed. I am very vocal at state meetings, I've been doing training all over the state and at conferences, I was asked to be a keynote speaker at a national conference in CA. last year which was an amazing experience, I no longer take any crap from staff or clients and confrontation does not scare me. I tell my board like it is - no games. I use to avoid " networking " as I'd rather crawl in a hole than be out there in the public pleading for my agencies cause but over the last few years not a board of supervisors meeting, county meeting, mayors meeting or any official community function goes by that I'm not there pleading for the rights of victims. I'm in everyones face. so in some ways I have come full circle as a 'boss lady' and I've learned a lot and experienced a lot and know that when we move this summer and I'm looking for work - I might just got to walmart instead! or I might be the best damn consultant and trainer that SC has ever seen come there way! but I would much prefer at this point in my life to be doing what thrills me and keeps my spirit and soul enriched rather than drained! being on the water does it for me not like any board room ever will! Sue [swVA] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 < > My dream job has become the information desk at the library. I don't see this as an outcropping of the weight loss as much as I do a side effect of middle age (I just turned 41). I've spent 25 years working at increasingly higher stress jobs, and just feel like I need to take a break and do something easier. Now if I could just find an information desk job that requires no experience and pays $80,000 I'd be set!! Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 < > My dream job has become the information desk at the library. I don't see this as an outcropping of the weight loss as much as I do a side effect of middle age (I just turned 41). I've spent 25 years working at increasingly higher stress jobs, and just feel like I need to take a break and do something easier. Now if I could just find an information desk job that requires no experience and pays $80,000 I'd be set!! Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Me Three!!! I am so sick and tired of being accountable in my job, I am bore. I make a great salary and we cannot afford for me to take a cut to a third of what I a making now or I would be out the door in a hurry. Glad I am not alone... Hugs Rita --- " S.Rudnicki " rudnicki@...> wrote: > > > ly, I'd now rather be a " Greeter " person at > > Walmart than deal with the daily stress in my > current > > profession. I think the " mental and emotional " me > is > > just tired and wants to finally have some real > fun. > > Lord, please let us all win the lottery, we really > do > > deserve it! > > oh god can I ever relate to this!!! > want a > job like greeter or button hanger again! I want all > my energy spent on > kayaking, swimming, being the best me physically and > screw everyone else - > screw the bosses - screw the complaining clients - > I'm sick of all them. I'm > tired of spending every last thought and energy on > the job, > Sue > [swVA] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Me Three!!! I am so sick and tired of being accountable in my job, I am bore. I make a great salary and we cannot afford for me to take a cut to a third of what I a making now or I would be out the door in a hurry. Glad I am not alone... Hugs Rita --- " S.Rudnicki " rudnicki@...> wrote: > > > ly, I'd now rather be a " Greeter " person at > > Walmart than deal with the daily stress in my > current > > profession. I think the " mental and emotional " me > is > > just tired and wants to finally have some real > fun. > > Lord, please let us all win the lottery, we really > do > > deserve it! > > oh god can I ever relate to this!!! > want a > job like greeter or button hanger again! I want all > my energy spent on > kayaking, swimming, being the best me physically and > screw everyone else - > screw the bosses - screw the complaining clients - > I'm sick of all them. I'm > tired of spending every last thought and energy on > the job, > Sue > [swVA] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 I make a great salary and we cannot afford for me to take a cut to a third of what I a making now or I would be out the door in a hurry. Glad I am not alone... Rita, Fed. gov. work is good, pay-wise and benefits-wise, and can often be rewarding; but, and that is a BIG BUTT (LOL, just had to do THAT!), unfortunately fed. employees rarely get the recognition they deserve, not from their supervisors and certainly not from the citizens of this great country nor from Congress and often not even from the President (take your pick as to which one) for whom we work. You are not alone! I am right there next to you! In Charlottesville, VA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Kate, When you find that job (Now if I could just find an information desk job that requires no experience and pays $80,000 I'd be set!!), would you please pass the stats along to me, so I can apply also! That is exactly the type of job I want to come across! Donna Open RNY w/Gallbladder removal 10-1-99 St. Charity Hospital, Cleveland, OH Dr. Schreiber with a fantastic support program in place. Hernia repair and abdominoplasty 7/12/01 keep scrolling Guys, I will do it for a mere $65,000....lol Diane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2002 Report Share Posted January 10, 2002 Kate, When you find that job (Now if I could just find an information desk job that requires no experience and pays $80,000 I'd be set!!), would you please pass the stats along to me, so I can apply also! That is exactly the type of job I want to come across! Donna Open RNY w/Gallbladder removal 10-1-99 St. Charity Hospital, Cleveland, OH Dr. Schreiber with a fantastic support program in place. Hernia repair and abdominoplasty 7/12/01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2002 Report Share Posted January 11, 2002 Oh boy, a library job. Hadn't thought of that but wouldn't it be great!!!! Surrounded by all those wonderful books at your fingertips!!! May have to look into that one. Judy --- kateseidel@... wrote: > < Walmart than deal with the daily stress in my > current > profession.>> > > My dream job has become the information desk at the > library. I don't see this as an outcropping of the > weight loss as much as I do a side effect of middle > age (I just turned 41). I've spent 25 years working > at increasingly higher stress jobs, and just feel > like I need to take a break and do something easier. > Now if I could just find an information desk job > that requires no experience and pays $80,000 I'd be > set!! > > Kate > > Homepage: > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: > mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2002 Report Share Posted January 12, 2002 Thank you all for your input on the " Changes " thread. There are so very few people in the world who can relate to losing " half a person " and how that affects our careers, priorities, etc. I especially related to the idea that now I am meeting new clients who never knew me " then " and I don't have a clue as to how they perceive me (a side of me says, " Who cares?! " ). I can even hear them whispering about my size 12/14 body, " Boy, she can afford to lose a few pounds. Look at how tight she wears her clothes! " Anyway, the reality is that they probably don't spend their free time talking about me at all and I'm just totally narcissistic, but in the old days, I kind of knew what to expect with old clients/new clients/business calls, etc, and now I don't even recognize myself in the mirror, let alone in my life! I am just being totally myself, which is kind of new. I'm not working hard to impress (that part could be a problem!) and I have a much more laid back attitude. So maybe that is all good and it will make me a more humble, genuine public speaker but maybe not as good an " entertainer " . Anyway, thanks to all of you for being here and picking up on this thread. Marcia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2002 Report Share Posted January 12, 2002 Me Too!!! I want one!!! Please. Pretty please with splenda on top!! Renonna ) Re: Changes..... > Kate, > When you find that job (Now if I could just find an information desk job that requires no experience and pays $80,000 I'd be set!!), would you please pass the stats along to me, so I can apply also! That is exactly the type of job I want to come across! > Donna > Open RNY w/Gallbladder removal 10-1-99 > St. Charity Hospital, Cleveland, OH > Dr. Schreiber with a fantastic support program in place. > Hernia repair and abdominoplasty 7/12/01 > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2002 Report Share Posted January 12, 2002 I had an interesting interview this morning. The person has weighed 112# all her life, but had something go awry with her pancreas. She, like us, has lost at least part of the stomach, duodenum, some intestine, GB and part of her pancreas. She was sposta die, but amazingly survived this. She weighs 79# now. She came without " papers " (labs, op report, CLUES) and they were unable to convey exactly what the problem was and precisely what was done, but the fact that she ended up HERE (via doc) means to me that she is now constructed like us. Now, firstly, it is very difficult to teach someone who does not retain any food (diarrhea like the old JIB) to supplement with my mindset on supplementation toward skinny. Weight was ALWAYS an issue in my life, even before it was an issue, as we have been discussing. I cannot imagine having a life in which a normal weight was issued with the std eyes, ears, nose mouth. So, I'm wondering if I can even bridge the gab. However, we soon realized that we had more in common than I could ever guess. The body she has now is not her original equipment. It is saggy and she does not want for her husband to have to look at it. And it is HER issue. When he looks at her, his eyes melt in the sockets. He ADORES her. She is ashamed. She is weak, sick, scared. Her sx was 4 years ago and she has never been supplemented, just encouraged to " eat right " . With no stomach or intestine and the worst diarrhea. OK, don't get me started. Anyway, we have been talking about our changed from " eye sore " to normal. She went from normal all her life to " eye sore " . It's different than our issue, but it is the SAME issue. When I sat across the table from this tiny doll of a woman, there still was a bond. She spent her life healthy at 112#. I have had 2 sx and the usual endless list to spend the last 6 yrs at that wt. She lost 50#, involuntarily. I could gain mine back tomorrow. I probably did not make much sense here, but those of us still trying to figure out who, exactly, is in the mirror will know what I mean. Thanks, www.vitalady.com For info on PayPal, click this link: https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com Re: Changes..... > Thank you all for your input on the " Changes " thread. There are so very few > people in the world who can relate to losing " half a person " and how that > affects our careers, priorities, etc. I especially related to the idea that > now I am meeting new clients who never knew me " then " and I don't have a clue > as to how they perceive me (a side of me says, " Who cares?! " ). I can even > hear them whispering about my size 12/14 body, " Boy, she can afford to lose a > few pounds. Look at how tight she wears her clothes! " Anyway, the reality > is that they probably don't spend their free time talking about me at all and > I'm just totally narcissistic, but in the old days, I kind of knew what to > expect with old clients/new clients/business calls, etc, and now I don't even > recognize myself in the mirror, let alone in my life! I am just being totally > myself, which is kind of new. I'm not working hard to impress (that part > could be a problem!) and I have a much more laid back attitude. So maybe > that is all good and it will make me a more humble, genuine public speaker > but maybe not as good an " entertainer " . Anyway, thanks to all of you for > being here and picking up on this thread. > Marcia > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2002 Report Share Posted January 13, 2002 Sounds like she had the Whipple. I know of a few of those. Just like most of us, a penchant towards malnutrition. Most of them are required to drink supplemental protein around these parts. I treat myself just as though I had the Whipple without the pancreas part. I don't say, " I had weight loss surgery and I can live like a 'normal' person now, eat like 'normal,' take 'normal' vitamins and supplements. " I usually think to myself, " I have had major surgery which will change me for life. I have to supplement in order to stay alive and healthy. " Just IMHO, Felicia > I had an interesting interview this morning. The person has weighed 112# all > her life, but had something go awry with her pancreas. She, like us, has > lost at least part of the stomach, duodenum, some intestine, GB and part of > her pancreas. She was sposta die, but amazingly survived this. She weighs > 79# now. > > She came without " papers " (labs, op report, CLUES) and they were unable to > convey exactly what the problem was and precisely what was done, but the > fact that she ended up HERE (via doc) means to me that she is now > constructed like us. > > Now, firstly, it is very difficult to teach someone who does not retain any > food (diarrhea like the old JIB) to supplement with my mindset on > supplementation toward skinny. Weight was ALWAYS an issue in my life, even > before it was an issue, as we have been discussing. I cannot imagine having > a life in which a normal weight was issued with the std eyes, ears, nose > mouth. So, I'm wondering if I can even bridge the gab. However, we soon > realized that we had more in common than I could ever guess. > > The body she has now is not her original equipment. It is saggy and she > does not want for her husband to have to look at it. And it is HER issue. > When he looks at her, his eyes melt in the sockets. He ADORES her. She is > ashamed. She is weak, sick, scared. Her sx was 4 years ago and she has never > been supplemented, just encouraged to " eat right " . With no stomach or > intestine and the worst diarrhea. OK, don't get me started. > > Anyway, we have been talking about our changed from " eye sore " to normal. > She went from normal all her life to " eye sore " . It's different than our > issue, but it is the SAME issue. When I sat across the table from this tiny > doll of a woman, there still was a bond. She spent her life healthy at 112#. > I have had 2 sx and the usual endless list to spend the last 6 yrs at that > wt. She lost 50#, involuntarily. I could gain mine back tomorrow. > > I probably did not make much sense here, but those of us still trying to > figure out who, exactly, is in the mirror will know what I mean. > > Thanks, > > > www.vitalady.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2002 Report Share Posted January 13, 2002 Yes, she had a Whipple. She had lost her teeth, thanks to no calcium, so I had trouble understanding some things she said. She had it in 1997 and has not been supplemented ONE bit. On her own, she was eating Centrum. And the only thing that stops her chronic D is Tums. At least she didn't think they were calcium. But she lost her teeth, regardless. So, the trick is to get the protein to stay IN her long enough to do some good. It doesn't need as much time as food, because it's predigested, but dang, it needs more than 10 min. If she puts the pills in alone, no food, she may keep them long enough to do some good. She wants to live SOOOOOOOOOO badly, and it is hard to see. Her doc cares, but he doesn't know the first thing about where what is digested, absorbed and knows that he doesn't know. So, she's been sent everywhere, but again, they want to nourish with FOOD, which does her NO good. 10 min just isn't gonna cut it, esp with NO stomach, NO GB and part of a pancreas. She makes & markets a BBQ sauce, and you know, I asked her to make us a s/f model. That's her project now, to keep her going! Thanks, www.vitalady.com For info on PayPal, click this link: https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com Re: Changes..... > Sounds like she had the Whipple. I know of a few of those. Just > like most of us, a penchant towards malnutrition. Most of them are > required to drink supplemental protein around these parts. > > I treat myself just as though I had the Whipple without the pancreas > part. I don't say, " I had weight loss surgery and I can live like > a 'normal' person now, eat like 'normal,' take 'normal' vitamins and > supplements. " I usually think to myself, " I have had major surgery > which will change me for life. I have to supplement in order to stay > alive and healthy. " > > Just IMHO, > > Felicia > > > > I had an interesting interview this morning. The person has weighed > 112# all > > her life, but had something go awry with her pancreas. She, like > us, has > > lost at least part of the stomach, duodenum, some intestine, GB and > part of > > her pancreas. She was sposta die, but amazingly survived this. She > weighs > > 79# now. > > > > She came without " papers " (labs, op report, CLUES) and they were > unable to > > convey exactly what the problem was and precisely what was done, > but the > > fact that she ended up HERE (via doc) means to me that she is now > > constructed like us. > > > > Now, firstly, it is very difficult to teach someone who does not > retain any > > food (diarrhea like the old JIB) to supplement with my mindset on > > supplementation toward skinny. Weight was ALWAYS an issue in my > life, even > > before it was an issue, as we have been discussing. I cannot > imagine having > > a life in which a normal weight was issued with the std eyes, ears, > nose > > mouth. So, I'm wondering if I can even bridge the gab. However, > we soon > > realized that we had more in common than I could ever guess. > > > > The body she has now is not her original equipment. It is saggy > and she > > does not want for her husband to have to look at it. And it is HER > issue. > > When he looks at her, his eyes melt in the sockets. He ADORES her. > She is > > ashamed. She is weak, sick, scared. Her sx was 4 years ago and she > has never > > been supplemented, just encouraged to " eat right " . With no stomach > or > > intestine and the worst diarrhea. OK, don't get me started. > > > > Anyway, we have been talking about our changed from " eye sore " to > normal. > > She went from normal all her life to " eye sore " . It's different > than our > > issue, but it is the SAME issue. When I sat across the table from > this tiny > > doll of a woman, there still was a bond. She spent her life healthy > at 112#. > > I have had 2 sx and the usual endless list to spend the last 6 yrs > at that > > wt. She lost 50#, involuntarily. I could gain mine back tomorrow. > > > > I probably did not make much sense here, but those of us still > trying to > > figure out who, exactly, is in the mirror will know what I mean. > > > > Thanks, > > > > > > www.vitalady.com > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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